Critic Scores
H. L. Mencken
As
National Bitters
(Continued from page one)
America? In a word this: every
thing about us is dead wrong. Our
laws, our conventions, oUr tradi
tions are all- atrocious. The result
is that “decent people are always
in hot water.’’ “Decent people’’
are those who are honest and brave i
enough to disregard conventions and '
institutions, Lewisohn seems to
teach. “Oh for one generation freed
from the three most pestiferous in
fluences in history—the home, the
church, the school.’’ Scrap these,
and America would become a more
endurable place to live. Mr. Lewi
sohn’s own oracular Borbheim says
this, so it must be so.
But worst of all are our marriage
and divorce regulations. Awful!
What do the Intelligentsia as rep
resented by Messrs. Lewisohn and
Mencken want?
Beauty and Freedom, they say.
But there is no getting them in
the present order of things, they in
sist. It is a vile, vicious world, a
“perfectly .rotten world!’’ Every
thing that is, is wrong—especially
in America. (We must except, of
course, Mr. Mencken, Mr. Lewisohn
and their crowd.)
So smash, crash, bangl Into the
fray with bared fists, black jacks,
clubbed muskets, bowie knives—
anything just so you smash and
hack and tear down and destroy.
Smash the traditions, hack the con
ventions, tear down the churches;
down with the universities, down
with the college professor,, down
with everything American. Ah there
is the word—American. What viler
sound possible to the ears of
Herr von Lewisohn and mein lieber
Mencken? Americans are “hypo
critical swine’’—the phrase is Lew
isohn’s—who make dirty laws and
uphold marriage, and morality, and
religion, who support chautauquas
and tolerate Mason, Elk, and Odd
Fellow lodges, who applauded four
minute men during the war, who—•
who-—-but why go on? Enough to
say that to the acute and delicate
sensibilities of the Menckenites,
nearly all things distinctively Am
erican are repulsive, and all these
;hings must disappear before there
;an be beauty and freedom in our
and. That in brief is the sum of
he teaching of these gentlemen—if
not always expressed, at least im
plied.
And having destroyed the pres-'
ent ugly, where shall we find beauty
and freedom? Shall we look for
beauty in the dreary wilderness of
Dreiserian naturalism? or in the
blighting sordidness of Shterwood |
Andersonian discontent? Or are we I
rather to look for it in the deep-:
mouthed vulgarity of Mr. Mencken’s
own Heliogabulus? or in the lugubri
ous inanities of Mr. Lewisohn’s Don
Juan? The Menckenites seem to
suggest that we shall.
And freedom, shall wre find it in
the license that would logically fol
low’ the destruction of the conven
tions that the Menckenites so de
ride? \Portunately, Mr. Lewisohn
helps us here. He is inveighing
against pur marriage and divorce
laws. “Now in the matter of sex
and marriage the taboos, the pre
judices, the dark, wild, irrational
superstitions are so powerful that
no law would touch practice. Prac
tice must produce law.”
“Practice must produce law.”
The inference is that the laws would
then be vastly better than they are
now. But Mr. Lewisohn here re
futes his main argument, for from
wh'ence came the present regula
tions governing, marriage anl di
vorce if not from practice? Mon
ogamy and the laws relating there
to are the outgrowth of centuries
of practices, and were not created,
as one might be led to believe, by
the fiat of church or state, or by the
word of a lot “of born fools and
dirty tyrants,” such as is repre
sented by the democracy of America.
As here, so in general, the Menc
kenites lead themselves astray. They
have made for themselves a fetish
of their hatred of the unlovely in
America. And now they worship
their own creation blindly. As a
result they do not see in wide vis
tas, but look upon life with a nar
row, cramped vision.
They are not all wrong. There is
much that is sad and hateful and
unbeautiful in America; our life
does at points appear mean and
vicious. But isn’t there much, too,
that is beautiful? And why scoff
at the hopeful aspiring souls who
through their chautauquas, their
churches, their lodges, their exhibi
tions of art and drama—pitiful as
the Menckenites think them to be—
College Side Inn
Wishes to Extend to the Students and Faculty the
SEASON’S GREETINGS
i t
Sample Menu
COLLEGE SIDE INN
SPECIAL PLATE LUNCH 40c
11:00 A. M. to 5:00 P. M.
Soup
Boston Cream Clam Chowder
Veal Broth Vegetables
Choice of
Breaded Royal Chinook Salmon, Tarter Sauce - i
Roast Sirloin of Beef, Brown Gravy
String Beans Mashed Potatoes *
Cakes, Custard Pudding, Whipped Cream i
Coffee, Tea or Milk I
r—--:-T I
Special Lunches *
SEKVED DAILY EXCEPT SUNDAY—11 to 3 P. M. i
NO. 1—25c
Bowl of Soup
Baked Apple and Cream
Coffee
NO. 3—35c
Baked Beans
Brown Bread
Pie Ice Cream Pastry
flnffpp
NO. 2—35c
Bowl of Soup
One-half Deviled Meat
Sandwich
One-half lettuce sandwich
One-half Cheese Sand
wich
Pie, Pastry, Stewed Fruit
Coffee
NO. 4—40c
Chicken Biscuit
Potatoes
Bread and Butter
Coffee »
STEAKS
Special Dinner Steak .45
Small Steak, Country Gravy .45
T-Bone Steak ..
Tea or Milk May be substituted for Coffee
Chocolate, Vanilla, Strawberry Ice Creams and Daily
Special Sherbet
We Bake All of Our Own Pastry
Sample Menu
COLLEGE SIDE INN
.... SPECIAL PLATE DINNER 50c
Soup
Boston Cream Clam Chowder
Veal Broth Vegetables
Choice of
Grilled Royal Chinook Salmon
Chicken a la King in Casserole
String Beans Whipped Potatoes
Grapefruit Salad
Cabinet Pudding, Whipped Cream
Coffee, Tea or Milk
j _||||■llll■nll■ll^■rlr■___—
Eire searching for higher reaches and
nobler views? Isn’t there really
more beauty in one sincere construc
tive effort of this kind than in all
the jeers of Mr. Mencken? And in
the near hysterical eagerness of our
people to build schools and to endow
college to make their sons wiser
citizens and better men, isn’t there
something far more splendid than
the ravings of Mr. Lewisohn at the
“born fools” Who now constitute
our democracy?
Rail on, gentlemen; you are still
of some use to us, for you are a
challenge to the best that is in us,
and you rouse us from even momen
tary complacency. We do not agree
with you, but we understand you.
You belong to that small army of
impractical idealists who chafe be
cause the millenium doesn’t come in
a twinkling, who do not see that
the approach to perfection is through
the long winding roadway of human
trial and error and suffering. And
not knowing, you cannot be patient.
So, though others may look upon
you and call you “ass,” we shall
not say “ass;” but we shall know
that the traditions you despise shall
long outlive you, that the democracy
you detest shall prevail long after
your voices are but echoes, that
some form of the conventional mor
ality you so abhor shall exist until
the end of time. For, know this:
the conventions, the traditions, our
democracy, like marriage and di
vorce laws, have come from the in
stincts and practice of the human
race in an effort to achieve, protect,
and preserve the ideals that seem
to be of most worth in the eleva
tion and preservation of all man
kind. And “practice”, Mr. Lew
isohn, “must produce laws.”
Boneheads Are Best
Students in College
(Continued from page one)
tasks required of a student. This
is a misconception fostered by most
students, who fall outside the “bone
head” class, and a few instructors.
In reality, the Bonehead is the
most Sincere, most . studious and
superlatively earnest student on the
campus. It is the Bonehead who
reads his lessons five times. It is
the Bonehead who sits up until 3
o’clock in the morning trying to
comprehend facts that have the agil
ity of Proteus to remain incompre
hensible. It is the Bonehead who
glues his eyes upon the instructor,
attends every lecture—and finally
flunks.
A “ibook-pounder” is a general
name that haa been applied in the
past to a student who is found in
the upper division of his class. It
is taken for granted that such a posi
tion requires excess preparation. But
the “excess preparation” is a char
acteristic of the “five” students.
They are the book-pounders. They
are the ones who keep up the tradi
tion that to prepare a lesson well
is to spend too much time on it. They
cannot understand that other stu
dents can prepare a lesson in one
half hour—when they have spent
four.
The antithesis is true of the “bet
ter students.” The best ones are
the worst on the campus. Any prof,
if he’s honest, will tell you that.
The impudent things anticipate ques
tions, lectures, know where the prof
is getting his stuff, and, instead of
being attentive, are actually bored
by their instructors. The best stu
dents do not always get “ones”—
quite the contrary. If they are in
terested in a subject or a professor
they perform excellently (but as a
rule they may be chided into say
ing: “Phi Beta Kappa and ‘hon
ors’? Bah!’’) Their studies are so
light they are led to dissipate their
spare time in “activities,” or that
mongrel referred to in faculty dis
cussions as “outside interests.” The
pedagogy of a prof who can interest
this type of student, and at the
same time retain sympathy for the
Bonehead, is to be admired.
So be it. The worst students are
the best, and the best the worst. And
it is written that the best shall flunk
in the course of intellectual selec
tion in order that their slow, plod
ding sincerity be not cumbersome in
the mill of “higher education.” So
bring on the zams, and may God
help the Bonehead.
UNIVERSITY HIGH SQUAD
HOPE FOR WINNING TEAM
With three of the team that cap
tured the State Interseholastic title
last winter back in uniform, the
University High school basketball
squad is turning out regularly in an
effort to turn out another winning
combination. The boys who were
on last year’s quintet are Gordon
Ridings, forward, and also All-State
choice for that position; Tom Pow
ers, forward, and Hempy, guard.
The squad has been cut to 12 men
and that number works out every
afternoon in men’s gym.
Christmas for the Boy
What better gift could you buy for the
boy—what gift would be more useful and
give more real joy and healthful out-of
doors exercise than a
COLUMBIA BICYCLE
HARRY GARRETT
EUGENE’S LEADING BICYCLE STORE
154-62 Eighth Ave. West.
OPEN AN
ACCOUNT AT LARAWAY’S
LARAWAY’S
, CHOOSE YOUR
CHRISTMAS GIFTS NOW
CHRISTMAS
SUGGESTIONS
DIAMOND RINGS
WALDAMAR CHAINS
CUFF LINKS
SCARF PINS
GOLD POCKET COMBS
CARD CASES
STERLING BELT BUCKLES
FOUNTAIN PENS
GOLD OR SILVER PENCILS
EBONY BRUSHES
LEATHER GOODS
UMBRELLAS
Make This A r\
Diamond Christmas *
One that Will Last Forever
M
By making this a Diamond-Christmas you are not only giv- J
ing gifts that last forever, but you are making an investment that
good business judgment will sanction. Laraway’s famous dia
monds are to be had now and at prices and on terms that you can
afford. There are in this immense stock of Diamonds, the one
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There is a wonderful assortment of both mounted and loose Dia
monds from which you may choose. Our private Diamond sales
room is at your disposal. Ask Mr. Laraway to tell you the
Christmas story of the Blue White Diamond.
WE MAKE OVER OLD JEWELRY INTO NEW
MOUNTINGS, A FEATURE THAT YOU SHOULD
NOT OVERLOOK.
i
CHRISTMAS
SUGGESTIONS
CIGARETTE CASES
GOLD CHARMS
COLLAR BUTTONS
BROOCHES
NECKLACES
TOILET SETS
RINGS
TABLE MATS
VANITY CASES.
SERVING TRAYS
CANDLE STICKS
Wondertul Selection oi watcnes
The watch section of this store is so conducted that you can depend upon its serv- .
ice. The spirit of accuracy and time-keeping service means much to every man and
woman who owns or expects to purchase a watch, whatever you may desire in the
way of assistance will be cheerfully rendered by every employe of this department.
$50, $75, $100, $150
$50 DIAMOND RINGS.
Fine blue white, spark
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solid white gold, pierced
mounting, square or hex
agon top. $10 down and
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Indestructable PEARL Necklaces
More popular than ever and are particularly appropriate
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$15 PEARL NECKLACE
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only $15. ■ <
-5 down and $5 per month.
We have Pearl Necklaces at $5. $7.50, $10, $12.50, $15
$20 and up, and can be secured on easy payments.
Wrist Watches For
Christmas
This rectangular, tull jeweled, depend
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$10 down and $5 per month.
Here is Another One
$12, $15, $20, $25
This attractive style we have in various
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$5 down and $5 per month.
$20 ELGIN
This 12-size thin model, El
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fitted in white, green or yel
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$5 down and $5 per month
GOLD KNIVES
Handsome gold knives, white,
green or yellow gold1, plain, chas
ed or engraved desins. A great
variety, $2, $2.50, $3, $4, $5 and
up.
SETH LARAWAY
DIAMOND MERCHANT AND JEWELER