Fetishism Is In South Seas
* * * # *
Old Script Explains Tales
(A Parable About Idolatry)
By Harold N. Lee
“In the South Seas there is an un
discovered continent of vast extent,
inhabited by a race of people highly
civilized, but possessing a most pe
culiar educational system. The
material progress of these people is
farther advanced than our own, for
their minds are centered wholly on
the practical and material side of
life. They are never distracted by
the disturbing influence of ideas or
reason, of art or religion.
“It would be only natural to sup
pose that the educational system of
this nation would be intensely prac
tical and technical, but strange to
say, it is not. Instead, it is more
like what we would call worship.
“The finishing touches of this
education are applied at a large,
centrally located institution called
by a name which is best translated
into our language by the word, Uni
versity. This is operated by the
government, and its purpose is to
produce men and women who are so
ateepod in the attitude of mind
which characterizes the people of
the continent, that they will carry
on the traditions of the country
without danger of investigation or
doubt.
“The education is a kind of idol
atry, very carefully worked out and
applied, so that it will train the
mind of the youth in an abject men
tal subservience to material objects.
Thus the idolatry is not a morphism,
but a fetishism; not a worship of
forms, but of things. This training
in idolatry is accomplished at the
University by means of an elaborate
priesthood which teaches the correct
worship of little fetishes with which
each student provides himself.
“Upon entering the Univorsity.
each student is assigned to four or
five priests. Those priests take
charge of him, along with a multi
tude of others, and direct his wor
ship for a full year. Each priest
sends the student to a fetish store
to obtain a definite object of wor
ship. These objects are manufac
tured in great numbers by large and
influential corporations located in
the principle cities of the country;
and are sold to the students at ex
ceedingly exhorbitnnt prices.
“Tho fotislies have no distinctive
forms, but are just solid rectangular
objects colored some bright hue on
tho outside. They may be opened,
and on tho inside are filled with
curious little cryptographic marks.
The value is determined by the quan
tity and obscurity of those marks as
well as by the color of tho outside.
These fetishes serve as the textbooks
of tho students.
“On a given day, the studonts as
semble in large classes, and each
sots his idol before him. Then the
priest ascends to tho altar and dis
courses eloquently to the worshipers
gathered in front of him as to the
manner of best worshiping their
textbooks. When he has finished
they go to the next priest, or to
their places of abode where they
practice the worship for many hours.
“After due time, they come back
to the priest, whereupon he ques
tions them in order to find out the
success or failure of their worship.
If they have worshiped well, he
gives them many marks of accom
plishment; if poorly, he gives fewer.
Each student strives to obtain more
marks than any other: that is the
reason for the worship.
“The priest gives the students
more instructions and sends them
away to worship again. This process
is continued with an occasional
change of priests, and many changes
of textbooks, for four years. At the
end of this time, the youth is de
clared educated if he has shown pro
ficiency in his worship and possesses
a multitude of marks. He is dis
missed from the University with
great pomp and ceremony. This
ceremony is intended to instill-in
him a sense of the great importance
of the worship he has been engaged
in for four years.
“Thus the education of the coun
try is an elaborate system of text
book idolatry. Of course, when the
student leaves the University, he
promptly forgets all the details of
the fetishism. He no longer worships
textbooks, but the attitude of wor
ship persists. The system is very
efficient in producing the subservi
ent and mechanical habit of mind
which is necessary for the progress
of the race.”
(Note: The foregoing manuscript
is very old, but was only recently
found among the effects of a de
ceased adventurer. As we know,
this continent has now been dis
j covered, and we have modelled our
life ami educational system after it.
It is thought, though, that the fore
going document might bo of some
historical interest.)
-o
Literary Gossip
-®>-"❖
(Continued from page one)
rail splitting to be one of tho at
tributes of genius. This is only one
of the difficulties one finds in the
series of articles by Mary Austen
appearing in The Bookman.
Wagner himself suspected that in
digestion was tho basis of his genius
He had a very poor stomach which
remarkably stimulated him. We
know a good coffee joint whero any
tendency toward this type of genius
may be augmented by a more faith
ful attention to doughnuts.
v • •
lie Maupassant at the acme of
his career saw bands of black but
terflies. Similar sensations may be
procured by the use of some high
powered moonshine (note: moon
shine is the name of a beverage
used in the United States) or the
application of a hammer to part
icular sections of the head.
Oliver Goldsmith, Edison Marsh
all, etc., left school. This is a most
admirable method, but very hard to
explain to father. Fathers are gen
erally old fashioned and cannot be
expected to understand how silly
school is, and how careless univers
ities are in treating genius.
Traditions Are Not
Needed Any Longer
(Continued from page one)
multitudes shall vote and the minor
ity shall reason, has made the dollar
sign our letter and “thou shalt not”
the institutional motto.
Democracy consists of the masses,
the masses that put crosses on a
meaningless ballot and forget about
it. Democracy consists of a govern
ing body that has been selected by
a class that either care not, or
know not how they are being repre
sented. Election day on the average
student government campus amounts
to merely a day set aside for the
throngs to vote blindly for all con
stitutional amendments and to select
between candidates for office by
the color of the hair and the firm
ness of their handshake.
The extremely convenient thing
about this sort of government is that
it sacrifices so little of the voter’s
time—just a few minutes vaguely
penciling a ballot and it is all over
for another year. Since it is demo
cratic, the voter need not even won
der what the officers of his selection
are doing, because it is so beastly
simple to let the “representative of
the majority” carry on in his own
sweet way.
There was a time in the far dis
tant past, when men went in for the
brutalities of athletics and women
shouted in the most unladylike
fashion—days when games wore
played with “fight” and yelling was
I done in pride. The march of prog
ress teaches greater things: garnet
now are played when they reap a
harvest of cash and cheering is in
----
dulged in when it gains publicity.
No longer, for us, the crude ineffi
ciencies of a past generation.
Why live in a world of illusions;
why see in a huge bonfire the re
flection of a hundred victories of
the past, why be warmed by these
flames to a fever of enthusiasm that
swells with campus pride and calls
for a perpetuation of these iyorn tra-“
ditions. After all, this bonfire is a
material—a great heap of burning
boards and trash and oil—it can
mean no more than so many dollars
and cents worth of lumber, a mere
conflagration whose sparks might
possibly destroy and ruin.
Now we have reached the great
goal, we are free to cast aside the
barriers of conventionality; we may
seek pride in a new thing: our indi
viduality. For while the other insti
tutions of the coast may be permit
ted to go blindly on worshiping the
past, we have seen the light and
'found out new things about the cli
mate. Perhaps it is only a step now
until thje collegian hefc will no
longer have to get his feet all mud ly
wading out to football games; no
longer will tire himself tramping
down to the armory to sit in a hot,
unsanitary hall watching a basket
ball struggle. The baseball fields
can be converted to croquet courses
and quilting parties can be held for
those who seek physical develop
ment.
Poetry /
(Continued From Page One.)
AS I SAT
As I sat in the cemetery at twilight,
Watching the shadows gather,
Those that crept down from the
yewtrees,
And those that came stealing out of
the graves—
While the white tombstones glim
mered like exclamation points,
Punctuating an unvoiced protest—
A long-legged youth came by with
a maiden
Whose hair blushed red in the dusk,
As if it knew the .thought of her
heart.
The boy had a solemn, brown, long
nosed visage,
That swung toward her,
And his long arm and large hand,
fondling,
Pawed and clawed at her shoulder.
Demurely she walked, but not with
out satisfaction.
Silent, their uncouth idyl passed and
vanished
Down the avenue of mortality,
As I sat in the cemetery at twilight.
’ THE PIANIST
(A Fancy)
Your fingers are two clusters of
butterflies in excited chase over a
queer" kind of stiff white petals.
They are tremulous with delight at
the queer petals—and they lightly
investigate the slim black markings.
I should like to catch and im
prison tl.-m in a net—and watch
them softly pulsing, their hot bodies
aching for the coolness of the exotic
white petals.
Katherine Watson.
EVENSONG
Many have loved my laughter, some
my sighs,
And more my sympathy—no meagre
dole:
But one man walked companion to
my soul
And all the pathway glowed be
neath his eyes.
Comrades we fared,; till shadows
caught him up;
Then, for his sake, because he
wished it so,
I filled my soul with courage like a
cup,
With steady hands to carry as I go
Rejoicing into gathering dusk, I fare
With an exultant heart, I lift on
high
My cup of courage to the fading
sky—
Gladly I reach the dark—he may be
there!
C. L. F.
STUDENTS AT TEXAS “U”
NOT ALLOWED AUTOMOBILES
University of Texas.—Students
attending the university, with ,a
few exceptions, are not allowed to
have automobiles, under a ruling
passed by the board of regents of
the university. Exceptions are made
for graduate students, students liv
ing in. Austin, students over 21
years of age, without parents or
guardians and who* are entirely on
their own resources, students who
are married and students who are
under graduates, but who are from
some professional school.
Presenting
The New Spring Silk Hats
—of unusual interest to the smartly attired woman
is this showing of new spring hats, bringing to you
clever new modes for immediate wear.
New Styles — New Colorings
All Fashioned of Silk or Satin
Eugene Millinery Co.
694 Willamette
Where Will You ?
Eat Next Term' ■
OUR NEW PLAN enables you to take all
of your meals at the Campa Shoppe at
practically Hall prices.
YotT Have the Advantage of:
1. Choice of Menu
2. Individual Service
3. Eat at your Convenience
4. Home Cooked Food
5. Pay by the Month
Come in and let us Explain
Make Arrangements
now for next term at—
Ye Campa Shoppe
Herschel Taylor, Prop.
House
Managers
Who pride themselves in
knowing good meats and *
poultry appreciate our of- |
ferings.
We offer fresh and cured meats—wholesale and retail
poultry and fish.
Plan for that Christmas dinner now—place your order
early.
INDEPENDENT
MARKET
721 Willamette Phone 495
j Let the Price Shoe Co. Help You
With Your Christmas Shopping
l' FOR WOMEN
!
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Silk—all colors—silk and wool silk, lisle and
all wool.
BOUDOIR SLIPPERS—
Comfy style felts, moccasins, wool leather,
satin mules, satin comfy style, etc.
FOR MEN
HOUSE SLIPPERS—
Leather—brown, green and red~wool leath
er, moccasins, comfy style and leather soled
felts.
SOX—
Silk, wool, wool and silk.
Imported English Hose for Both Men
and Women
The University Pharmacy takes this
opportunity to wish you all a
Merry Christmas
and a
Happy New. Year
We will be glad to show you our suggestions
for Christmas gifts. They are practical,
useful gifts that everyone will appreciate
Get Your Blue Books Here
The University Pharmacy
Eveventh and Alder Free Delivery Phone 114