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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 5, 1922)
OREGON SUNDAY EMERALD Member of Pacific Intercollegiate Prea* Association Kenneth Youel Lyle Janz Editor Manager Official publication of the Associated Students of the University of Oregon, issued daily except Monday, during the college year._____ ERNEST HAYCOX, Sunday Editor_ GEORGE H. GODFREY, Managing Editor Features: Jessie Thompson, Earl Voorhies, Katherine Watson, Arthur Rudd, Edwin Fraser, Ep Hoyt, Margaret Bkavlan, __ General Writers: Clinton Howard, Eddie Smith, Rachael Chezem. except Monday, during the college year. Name Those Guilty “Case Number One— This student dismissed from the University for cheating in exams—” such is the report of the report of the stu dent advisory committee— and the student reading the report spec ulates on who the guilty culprit could be, and his speculations prob ably include any students he knows who may have left school before the end of the term. The guilty one goes his way, home or to some other school, pun ished only by his guilty conscience. This is not fair to the students, of course. Rumor is easily started, and the whisper, “he’s probably case number one,” applied to some student who has left school, may easily spread into a monstrous lie. Name the students, if they are found guilty of the charges against them. Not only will this eliminate the breath of scandal from those innocent, hut it will make the punishment far more drastic—and punishment should be as drastic as is consistently possible. Speak a Good Word for “Lemmy” A recent action of the Lane County Creditors’ Association has pluced the Lemon Punch in a more or less helpless position. The maga zine, acknowledged to be one of the best college comics in the United States, has been omitted from the accredited list of advertising med iums. Students of the University feel sure that this is a mistake, and that the reinstatement of “Lemmy” is only a matter of a few days. A worth-while publication, which provided the only outlet for the humor of the University, should be supported by students and towns people alike. Speak a good word for “Lemmy” whenever you have a chance. To Portland Via Canoe By Don Woodward Kugone to Portland via the Wiliam ette river in a 17-foot canoe. That'* a trip to take if one wants from four days to a week of real vacation after the confinement of an Oregon winter at the University. Rapids, one after another, are en countered in endless succession for the first 70 miles after the two enthusiasts push off happily from the portage, and the little craft slips quietly down the swift water. Relaxing from the lirst excited moments, the partners sudden ly become alert again. A muffled roar is plainly audible, gradually growing louder and louder. The* banks slide rapidly past. "We are sure in for it now,” the pad dler in the bow calls, as the flow quick ens and a curl of broken wuter looms dead ahead. "Stick tight and rest your stroke,” anxiously orders the sternsmau. Rapids Furnish Thrill There is but one place to take the rapid; the smooth water of the bulging swell between those two boulders up reared in the racing current. All else is "white water,” beaten into licking jaws, set with jagged, stone teeth, which seem to eagerly reach out in an gry mouthing* to crush and engulf any hapless voyager who' should become rattled and miss the safe green tongue of the "chute.” The diminutive green shell shoots forward, rears high in a shuddering pause, then plunges down, burying its nose in the back lash of gurgling liquid to the lee of the great rock. "Whoosh!” riu> water streams over the gunwale and in a second bedding roll, flap-jack pan, coffee pot, and other articles of camping equipment are jostling one another in the bottom. The ripples on the tail of the racing stream all but lapping over the sides, the adventurers pull desperately to shore. With all movable objects safely lashed under canvas, another start is made Milt- follows mile, the river sweeping m wide curves to tlu* west. The mouth of the McKenzie appears and the men knew the long-talked of trip is at last a joyous reality. Practice Brings Confidence Practice on a number of the lesser bits (if rough water lends a certain fa cllit \ and e onfidonec, enabling the steersman to take the next "bad spots” with no further mishap. Punch is ( hastily o.-uen affair of sandwiches and pa tal> u "on route,” IT, afternoon s ;p- iam,; swiftly as does the little craft and, with a start, th>> paddlers surprised to see "Old S,d" winking good-uigot over a wooded li'ige. Lauding, tin* canoe is capsized to form a windbreak, blankets are spread, and grub be\ is unpacked Soon a puff of smoke announces the birth of the camp tire: red jets creep up the little wigwam of bleached drift, and a grov smudge drifts lazily out over the river, hanging close to the surface under the suppressing influence of damp air. “Draw a straw. The one that gets the shorter is cook tonight.” The loser turns good naturedly to his task; tin; victorious member strips and plunges into tho cooling lagoon. Punc tuating bis speech with vigorous splashes, he gibes the red-faced indi vidual squatting by the brisk little blaze. The sizzling steak, and the aroma of boiling coffee finally announce supper. The meal is downed in short order, and the evening passes in dreamy-eyed silence, watching the color ebb and flow on tho glowing coals as the glimmering flames leap and dance. Joints Squeak in Morning Morning finds the ardent nature lovers with squeaking joints and fiery muscles. Breakfast over, the “duffle” is stowed, and oneo more the bow points west. Slipping around the out side of a broad bend, where tho cur rent is swiftest, the accusing cry oi the steersman suddenly breaks the placid silence. “By George, man, did you set that hot pan on the match-box?” “Fire” Causes Scare Then, to the startled bowsmau, plain ly comes the sound of sizzling grease, Frantic grabs, and the “chuck” is strewn over the bottom in chaotic con f usion. No fire there! More careful investigation shows that countless minute bubbles are ris ing through the water. After consid erable speculation it is agreed that upon striking the keel, they burst, producing the deception. Much more “frying pan” water is encountered on the trip, to the amusement of the bow paddler, who calls out, “Man, did you set that pan—r—" The hours flash bv, and, in the gath ering dusk of the third, day, the jubi lant voyagers, with borrowed lantern gleaming in the stern, a host of treas urod experiences lighting the memory, and a coat of healthy tan covering rippling muscles, sight the glowing aureola crowning their journey's goal • Portland. PEPPY SLOGANS FEATURE Houses Are Constructing Welcome Signs for Old Grads and Alumni " l'ight ’em Oregon," “Welcome Home and "Kip cm l p Oregon” are sum, of the characteristic peppv slo gans that the mens and womens organ Uations on the campus arc planning for their Homecoming signs Many of tho houses have constructed large wooden t* s (tainted green or yellow and sur rounded by electric lights, others have •ativas banners with the inscription sainted on them. All of the signs are :o be lighted either by lights reflected ui them or bv lights attached to the iigns themselves. I’he womens’ organizations are uearlv ill planning to have some sort of a ;reeting strung up to greet the "grads" uni "alums” upon their return. “Pep" s the keynote of all the slogans and it s expected the campus will look very cstive both day and night. Read the Classified Ad column. Here’s Story as Was Once Told by the Famed Scribe, “Rex Ham.’’ of House of in Illustrious Family, Universally Known as the Johnsings (Taken from the “Webfoot,” Ore gon’s annual year book of 1905. Writ ten by one Rex Ham. It seems that in those far gone days our present comp troller of the University had construct ed a gravel walk—but read the story.) THE HOUSE OF THE JOHNSINGS And the tale runs that once in the far, wooded wooly West there dwelt a great tribe of Man-things, and their backs were herbiferous, and their walk things were webbed even unto the fourth and fifth phalanges. And the river Willamette, in remembrance of a mighty chief of a great and barbarous nation that inhabiated the land before the day of the Web-foots and all of whom perished because they opposed i civilizing influences and retarded the advancement of 44 calibre rifle balls, a common phenomenon in ethnology, and called in the danguage of the Darwins and Spencers, natural selec tion or the survival of the thickest. And the men of this tribe were mighty in arms, but of slender legs, for the mud in their land grew deep and sticky, and each member of the tribe remained all winter, where he had stuck late in the fall, but when spring came, Old Sol, with his diurnal radiance, dried the land and solidified again the rocks thereof. And behold the land cracked thiswise and thatwise and each field was rented in many deep rents, and whomsoever of the Web-foots that had been stuck, found himself in the path of one of these great Sol-cracks, was liberated and walked free upon the face of the land until the next fall, when, so the tale runs, he was stuck again. This habit of the tribe living postwise for some nine moons of the year retarded greatly the developmnt of their gastrocnemii, and made it im possible to announce that they failed to do the liundered in 10 flat because of trigonometry. And like the monkey, thereon hangs the tale. No tribe of the race of men can ever develop in civilization, despoil their neighbors and set their emblem of freedom upon the dislocated cranial ver tebrae of their friends across the moat, until some great hero paves the way and delivers them from the common terra firma that adheres about their walk-tilings. Ho the great deliverer of the Web-men paved the way so that all the Web-men and all the Web-chil dren might walk all the year and final ly learn to run. And here begins the history of the House of The Johnsings, for the weird ordained that from that roof should come the man who made cobble-stones famous. And under the roof of the Johnsings there came a Wee-John and they eal iled him Ball -Son after liia noble uncle High Ball of the Drinkings. And he chewed gum and waxed great, and he went to the Learn-stead of the Web men and beame a mighty weilder of the Ben thing, and he called his Pen-thing the Ink kick, and they called him Johnsing The Flighty. And the fold built him a three-legged stool and they placed him upon it and crowned him King of the Ledger. But one day when the Learn stead was peaceful and Johnsing The Flighty |dreamed of the last appropriation, a thought escaped from the Good Roads Convention and flew into the mouth of the Johnsing, and he closed his chops and said, “It is mine. T am famous.’’ And he straightway furn ished his garret with think-thiugs and hurried to the rock-stead, and soon the campus was teeming with thralls that were teaming with rock-wains, and they erected a craek-thiug and broke each boulder stone into many sharp angular breaks, and when the breakings were of sufficient sharpness, they were laid in treacherous walk-wavs and a thrall gang with a mighty roll-thing, pulled from the coffers of the Learn-stead long-green things diurnallv. Aukl it came to pass that on a day of great festivity among the Web-men, that a foolhardy freshman fall on the walk-way of Johnsing The Flighty, and the thralls of the Web-folk gathered him up on a sponge-thing and said it was surely too badness. And the Web man covered the walk-ways with life planks, and erected great Keep-off the walk signs, and the Web-wavs that dwelt at the Learn-stead extended to Johnsing the cavalry Ha-Ha-thing. And so with the house of the John sings, And the ink-spiller, pen wiper John ing The Flighty, The walk ways, the keep-off-the-grass ■dgns and the road things. And the doings they did at the Learn stead of V. O., The Mighty. AT THE HEIXJG "Love Is an \wful Thing" will come to th, lleilig theatre for three davs, starting Monday, one of the most hi’arious and uproarious, joyous farces seen on the screen in a long time. That accomplished comedian. Owen Moore, last seen in "A Poor Sintp” and "The Chicken in the Case,” has the leading role. He is ablv supported in the fun making by Douglas Carter, the long, lean, lanky gentleman of color who was so prominent in "A Poor, Simp. ” Bagatelle THE PIRATE SONG Oh, I am a pirate blythe ami bold, And I sail the rolling sea; And I laugh “Ha! ha!’’ though winds blow cold— All weather is one to me, As I sit up aft Of my low-built craft, Where my black flag flutters free. So I laugh “Ha! ha!’’ and lick my chops, As we scud before the gale To where a Spanish galleon flops Till they cut away ’er sail. And I spit a sluice Of tobacco juice That makes the whole c-rew quail. For I am a man! a lordly man, And a gallant buccaneer! So I guzzle all the rum I can And swear for all to hear. I twirl with dash My big mustache That strikes the soul to fear. Yet perilous as gold doubloon Is golden hair for bait. If some maid stole my heart, then soon Reform would be my fate. I'd dare not balk If made to walk The plank of duty straight. —M. S. Poem* DAFFODILS Moon-flowered Daffodils Swaying in the sun, Throwing off their green cloaks One by one. All set out in formal row— Standing stoutly heel to toe; First line sentries of the spring, News Of breaking winter bring. —L. P. CONCILIATION I hated gingham, polka-dots, Rough old shawls, and what-me-nots; But now my tastes are torn about, My hate is love, for you’ve come out In gingham. I hated laughter, brazen glares Most vile of all was “bobbing hairs”; But now my heart is waxing warm, ’Tis two days since you braved the storm And bobbed ’em. —P. M. A CRY I must go away somewhere and look for God For I have lost him in the petty tur moil of my days. This morning I glimpsed him briefly when I rose But the breaking of a shoe string turned my mind Into the channels ef the everyday and commonplace. I sometimes think that if I went away alone And lay down flat upon the ground With niv hands beneath my head, And saw the life of little things about me, And looked up through the trees At neaven with its lazy clouds, My soul might come out of its prison house And look about; That I might feel again God’s presence And his breath upon me. VERSE The moon is tipped On edge, to spill Its pigments on The daffodil. A Oat-astrophe A cat sat on my fence one night, And merrily sang he. His coat was mottled black and white As I could plainly see. He howled, and yowled, nor stopped his cries Tho wild my pleadings grew; In vain I hurled a missile out— Far wide the mark it flew. My voice sang loud above the din Commands that he should cease. A neighbor had me gathered in For disturbance of the peace. —L. P. DO-NUT BASKETBALL (Continued from page one.) out and dropped one of their first con tests to the Delts by one point. Several men with a great deal of promise have been found playing in the series, among them being Carson, BFvant, Cowans, Cook, Kelley, Hobson, Slade. Murry and Gunther. All these men are the best on their respective teams and do a great deal to make the series interesting. Carson of the Alpha Tans at present holds the high score record with 31 points scored in one game, closely fol lowed by Bryant of the Kappa Sigs, who hooped the basket for -9 points in one of Tuesday's contests. The new plan of dividing the teams into two leagues, instituted this year, is working out with fine results, the idea being that the three high teams m each league wi! meet in a six-team final series. This final round, or world series, is scheduled to start in two weeks, so all the games between now and that time will be important ones. Compe tition is very keen among the teams to among the first three in their re ipeotive leagues. ST'TTS Green Merrell Co. men’s wear •‘One of Eugene’s best stores OVERCOATS FOR MEN WHO CARE Our Shop Offers Skilled Barbers and Excellent Service THE PALACE BARBER SHOP 0. E. LEE, Proprietor “TYPE THEM” Can you read your notes when they are cold? If you can’t, pity the poor Prof., also pity yourself when you see the Scandal Sheet. TYPEWRITERS L. C. Smith & Bros.—N E W—Remington Portable All Standard Makes in GUARANTEED REBUILTS OFFICE MACHINERY & SUPPLY CO. 917 Willamette Phone 148 (Over Western Union) Look Your Best "W'OU know and I know, and, you bet your sweet life she knows whether your clothes are clean and well pressed or not. What about those week-end dates? Are your clothes cleaned, pressed and ready for you to step. If not—call us. "We Call and Deliver Marx’s Cleaning and Dyeing Works Phone 122 Plant & Office 245 E. Ninth and Pressers Master Cleaners. Dyers Phone 75 Main Office 829 Will. The Compulsory Education Bill Unanswered Arguments Answered at the FIRST CHRISTIAN CHURCH Oak and Eleventh Streets, by Dr. E. V. Stivers Sunday Evening at 7:30 o’Clock Students of the University Invited.