Oregon daily emerald., May 06, 1922, Page 4, Image 4

Obak ’s Kollege Krier
VOL. 1SATURDAY A. M. NcT 7
OFFICIALS FOR DOUGHNUT
SWIMMING MEET NAMED
Men Expecting to Enter Are
Urged to Start Training
The officials for the doughnut swim
ming meet scheduled for Saturday
evening, May 13, at 7:30 in the Wom
an’s building have been definitely se
lected. They arc Larry Wood of the
Agricultural college as referee, Duke
Howard as starter; Dean Bovard, Bill
Hayward, Harry Scott, Hank Foster,
Eddie Durno and Professor Hodge will
act as judges. The announcer will be
Bill Spear; clerk of course, Spike Les
lie, and scorer, Edwin Fraser.
The men entering in the different
events will have to know all the tech
nical rules of the events which they
enter for Wood is an experienced ref
eree and will disqualify men on tech
nicalities, say# Coach Barnes, who is
in charge of the meet.
Ho Minimum of Entries
Another point stressed by Barnes was
that the organizations should not enter
men merely for the reason that they
want a man in every event, for this is
not the object of the meet, and only
the men that think thoy have a chance
to plaee should enter. An organization
does not have to have a full team in
order to come in, but may enter only
one man if it so wishes.
The latest dope is that there will be
an exhibition water polo game after
the meet, with some of the best swim
mers in college entered. The pool in
the Woman’s building is to be open
T-nesday night of next week for a
practice meet, and at this time all en
tries may compete and will be able to
judge fairly well what their chances in
the finals will be.
Pool Open for Practice
The pool in the men's gym is to be
kept open in the ovenings next week in
order that the men may practice as
much as they wish. A timer and coach
will probably be at the pool most of
the time so the men can find out just
how they stand. There is also a list of
the events and the approximate times
for each posted on the bulletin board
in the gym which contestants may refer
to at any time.
The entry blanks are to be sent oui
CLASSIFIED ADS
Minimum chars*, 1 time. 26c ; 2 times
46c: 6 times, 11. Must be limited to I
lines, over this limit, te per line. Phone
961, or leave copy with Business office of
Emkrai.d, in University Press. Payment in
advance. OfMoe hours, 1 to 4 p. m.
FOB BALE — Site for fraternity
bouse or private residence. Lot 80x112
at northeast corner of Alder and Fif
teenth streets, Eugene. Address F. G.
Frink, 310 University avenuo, Palo
Alto, California. 156-M4-tf
FOUND Delta Upsilon sister pin in
Woman’s building at the last student
body dunce. Owner may have same by
applying at the Kmerald business office
and paving for this ad. 159-M6
FOB SALE - A Nehlin upright piano.
Excellent condition. Call 138BR. Mrs.
James Montgomery, 85(1 Lincoln.
158-M10-3
today, and the entries will absolutely
close on Friday, May 12, at 6 o’clock.
The seven events are to be run off on i
schedule and should not take a great i
deal of time. Coaching may be had 1
at the men’s gym pool any day between 1
the hours of 11 and 12 in the morning i
and 2 o’clock till 5:30 in the afternoon.
To Count Four Places
There are to be four places counted
in each event in the order 5, 3, 2, 1.
The relay counts 8, 6, 4, 2. All the
events with the exception of the 40
yard dash have no finals, but places
will be awarded to the men making the
best time. The 40-yard dash will have
a final heat, with the six men making
the fastest time in the other heats com
peting.
The Crow’sNest
By CABNY
What wail is this I hear across the
night—
What piping threnody of infant woet
Who is this child, to jein the ringing
fight
Where heroes parry valiant blow for
blowf
Where yesterday, with E. J. H. I vied
For publie good, whatever it might
be,
Today our common enmity has died
Before this feathered Jay called
Chiek-a-Dee.
With feeble couplets, culled from nurs’
ry lore,
This Jay Dee shrills his saponaceous
verso;
My Muse, as well, on rhythmic wings
shall soar
With lines as bad as his, but never
worse.
“They don’t bat high,” he rants with
awkward squall,
This prodigy, this would-be grade
sheet ed.
If nothing else, at least we hit the ball,
And what iB more, we each employ a
head.
For if a dome this dark horse may
possess,
This ed., who clouded up but didn’t
rain,
It seems a rack for bonnets, more or
less,
And least of all a dwelling place for
brain.
Though once, in gory combat for the
right,
With E. J. H. I scarcely could agree,
We sought at worst to read tho world
aright,
We had at best a sound philosophy.
We too, like bearded Omar did frequent,
When youthful folly led our steps
astray,
Politic dens and heard vain nrgument,
But never more shall we return that
wny.
This solemn warning we now send Jay
Dee,
If he would in our pathway jap and
prate;
If yelp he must, lest yelp in minor key
Against the men he cannot imitate.
COLLEGE POLITICS CLEAN
As Kaiser’s Conscience
iunn bmuwb
UP MANY CANDIDATES
OBAK '8 Kolloge Krier has always
been noted for j^iviiin nil the news, uii
adulterated and uninfluenced by any
body or Anything. We always give our
renders both barrels, whether there is
anything new or not.
In this matter of politics we arc go
ing to keep up to the same old stan
dard of truth and nothing but it, treats
and threats notwithstanding.
We are going to show up some of
these dirty politicians who aae endeav
oring to strengthen their ow*positions
at the expense of our commonwealth;
we will lay bare some of the dirtiest
plots to swing the votes of the cam
pus, imaginable,
l-’irst, we suppose you know that the
campus is overrun, yes, honeycombed,
if you please, with ’ POLITICAL Oil
OAN1ZATIONS.
The main idea of these CLUBS is to
GET VOTES.
These organizations are also SK
(TRET No one is supposed to know
who belongs to them but our investi
gat ion has disclosed the fact that the
members wear MASKS to keep from
being recognized by their friends. So
keep your eyes peeled and you may dis
cOVer some of ’em.
The other day one of these masked
men dropped into OBAK '8 with a mem
ber of the rival tong. They slipped up
to the snow white luncheonette and
ordered two soups, two ham ands and
two pies.
“Th’ Tutti Fruits will pledge them
selves to support Horas Harry for scr
gennt at arms of the Law Librarv if
you’ll back Margie Measles for editor
of the Wastebasket.” said one to the
other.
“You're on. if you’ll vote for Freddie
Freeze as president of the Lawn Mow
ers too.”
I lie bargain was settled with a shot j
of Coco and a couple of cigars.
That, fair reader, is the way your
votes are bought and paid for. The
only good thing we know about these
two civilization wreckers is the fact!
that they came into OBAK’8 to talk I
things over.
Jimmy Jinks, who you know is run
ning for registrar of dates, brought a
friend in the other day and after hav-!
ing passed the Bobby Burns, proceeded
to tell of how his chief rival got in -
dutch with the Koko Kos, the big!
big women's political gang.
Tt seems the rival took one of the
j girls out the other evening. On the
! wav home he practiced a loving em
brace on the fair thing. 8he, poor girl,
' mistook the motive and when he told
j her he acted for political reasons only, |
| she flew into a fit and left him. Now
neither she nor her many sisters will
l vote for the politician and his chances
. seem lost. . j
Harry Halkins, the fluent journalist,
; says that he will start a new reform
every week, providing he is elected ed-1
itor of the Whizz Bang. Nothing old,
I nothing repeated seems to be his motto.
He says he wants to make this campus!
as peaceful and sanctified as a Sunday
afternoon vesper service, and he in 1
tends to tame down the wild rampaging
of the Young faculty members.
Harry bought a gross of long black :
cigarette holders and a carton of cigar
ettes to pass out among his friends. He
says it pays to advertise.
Lots of the other boys have been1
treating around to cigars and drinks
and if it wasn’t for the time of year
we’d say that the friendly spirit was
growing too fast for comfort.
For you fellows who aren’t running
for anything and want a friend who
isu’t going to pat you on the back for
the votes you’re worth, look up OBAK,
the best known man in Kngeno.
CHAUNCY OLCOTT COMING
The theme of “Bagged Boom,” which
comes to the Eugene theatre Monday
night, May 8, for one night only, with
that famous actor and singer, Chauncy
Olcott, is said to be wholesome, heart
some and gladsome, and that its merri
ment is natural, its adventure logical,
and its romance beautiful. An excep
tionally clever cast, headed by Ethel
Intropidi, will assist in the presenta
tion of the play. It goes without say
ing that Chauncy will have a batch of
new songs to delight his admirers.
Bead the Classified Ad column.
REX
Soiled, muddy shoes? That’s
where you lose, appearances
will tell.
Here in this chair I’ll put a
glare upon them something
swell.
I’ll also fix those yellow kicks
and make them black as
night;
No acids used, no shoes abused,
with black I treat you
white!
Each pair I shine is right in
line with patent - leathers,
pard!
Selected stock that none can
knock, so keep this little
•ard—
It points the way to the
only kinds:
They are the Bight
way Beal.
Peter Barecos John Papas
Bex Theatre Building
JUST IN!
BRAND NEW!
Moderately priced!
You’ll need one of
them this Spring.
We excell in—
General Repair
Work
Smith-McKern
CYCLE CO.
The New Season’s First
Money-Saving Clothes Event
An instance of this store’s great merchandising power.
Here at the very height of the clothing season we are
making a remarkable offering of
Young Men’s
English Tweed Suits
at
$3250
They’re certainly the greatest
clothes value offered in Eugene
this season. Smart stylish Tweeds
in popular sport models. Coats
are bolted backs, four pockets,
leather buttons. Trousers have a
new feature in attached belts.
Colors are brown and grey mix
tures and popular salt and pepper
tweed.
They’re clothes designed by young
men for young men
I
See them today in our windows.
New Tweed
Caps
$2.50
—■Ji|AUiH|iMLWMMiHi—r
C f <■ vr*’ >■
Oxford Cloth
Shirts
$3.00
VARSITY BARBER SHOP
Service Our Aim. Next to Oregana
SPIRITISM
SIR CONAN DOYLE
SIR OLIVER LODGE
Are these gentlemen heralds of a new dispensation of re
ligion on earth! IIow is their theory contrasted with that of
the Christian church about immortality! Suppose we question
both theories, what then!
“EXISTENCE BEYOND THE FLESH”
Will be the sermon topic of the Rev. Frank
Fay Eddy on Sunday morning at the
FIRST UNITARIAN CHURCH
Ralph Poston will be the soloist.
The hour of service is 10:45 o ’clock.
The church is on the corner of East Eleventh and Ferry
streets.
Going Hiking?
University students will find a complete line of
equipment for their outing and hiking outfits
at the Army Store.
SPECIAL PRICES FOR THE WEEK-END
Khaki Breeches* .
Gaberdine Breeches
Wrap Leggings .
Canteens .
Haversacks .
Kdiaki Middies .
Blanket Rolls ...
Khaki Hats .
Bup Tents.
Army Shoes ......
Surplus Army Goods Store
THE STORE THAT SAVES YOU MONEY
646 WILLAMETTE STREET
.$1.19 Khaki Shirts .98c
$4.89 Bedford Cord Breeches, $4.98
$1.19 Leather Leggings .$5.50
.72c Mess Kits.69c
. 69c Pack Sacks ......$2.35
$2.85 Khaki Pleated Shirts, $3.50
$2.85 0. D. Blankets .$3.98
$1.25 Khaki C^ps . 75c
$3.50 Tarpaulins—all sizes.
$5.00 Army Socks .U^jC
Portable Sonora
Phonographs
Twelve records with each machine.
Just the thing to carry on picnics or put in
the canoe and take up the mill
race with you.
Come in and see them at
Berry Piano
and Furniture Co.
Next door to Rex Theatre.
Service-Savings
Satisfaction
The success of this store can be summed up in three words:
Service—Savings—Satisfaction! We try to serve our friends
and customers best by maintaining an efficient Store, Deliv
ery and Telephone Service. Our prices usually show a Saving
over equally good food products bought elsewhere, and we
sell only such goods as we know will give Satisfaction.
Visit our Model Kitchen and Bakery and see the many tempt
ing cakes, pastries, rolls, cooked meats and salads. A large as
sortment of good things to eat that we can suggest for picnics
jr hiking trips.
Right now, when your supply of home canned fruits is getting
low, we offer some very attractive prices on various size
glasses and tins of Phez pure fruit Jams and Jellies.
The Dice Grocery Company
Eighth and Olive 3 Phones, 183