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About Oregon emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1909-1920 | View Entire Issue (April 10, 1913)
WE SHOULD WORRY
VOL I; NO. 2
Wm. A. Cass
A. H. Davies
...T. M. Solve
This was to be a Knocker’s Number
but the space allowed The Oregon
Boot is not nearly large enough to
permit us to knock everything we
want to, so we have decided that this
number will be just the ordinary kind,
with a few things thrown in to make
interesting reading. However, the
change of plans this time does not
mean that a live Knocker’s Number
will not appear later. The fact is,
we are just saving up energy, and
when the real thing does appear, there
will be a strong smell of sulphur and
brimstone in the air.
We think it is only fitting and
proper that our readers should be told
that the Emerald swiped the cut they
had last week from The Oregon Boot.
Never mind, we will get even with the
outfit yet, and when we do, Ye Gods,
what a celebration we will have.
Ye Editor and Staff wish you all
a happy vacation.
A Different View.
He—“May I see you up the stairs?”
She—“I’d rather you’d walk up with
. . , , * * *
“Is that your ladder?”
“It doesn't look like yours.”
“Well, you see, it’s my stepladder.”
—Williams Purple Cow.
* * *
One of Three.
Minister—“Is this your birthday,
Willie—“No, sir; I was born the sec
A London Joke.
“Why didn’t you send your man to
mend my electric bell?”
“He did go, madame; but, as he rang
three times and got no answer, he con
cluded there was no one at home.”
* * *
The Sweet Thing.
Fair Visitor—“Oh, don’t bother to
see me to the door!”
Hostess—“No trouble at all, my
dear. Its a pleasure.”
—New York Mail.
* * *
Brainicus—“We come from the
Cynicus—“And go to the dogs.”
* * *
What Did He Mean.
Irate Father—“Young man, weren’t
you kissing my daughter in the back
parlor just now?”
Flushed Young Man—“Well, only
about half the time, sir!”
* * *
A Smoky Campaign.
The forces a-la-Charlie Koyl have
posted glaring bills to foil the men
who smoke the nasty weed, devouring
it with whetted greed. A notice by
Y. M. C. A. is posted in the “Hershey
Way.” In mourning letters it pro
Pitter patter went the feet,
Traveling: down Willamette street:
Dainty feet and shod with care;
Dainty anklets with each pair.
Classy gowns and classy hair;
Classy guys all stop to stare.
Into Obak’s stepped each maid,
Followed by a young pee-rade.
“Nebo’s,” said Miss Cook to Jack.
He complied, though taken back.
With dainty glore she drew a pill,
Passed the rest to sister Still.
Misses Heusner, Dyott and Strang:,
Not outdone by any pang;,
Called their bolder sisters’ bluff,
Blushing: madly with each puff.
! Pious stranger passing by,
| Sees a sight that shocks his eye;
j "Who’s the Miss that standeth there
i Vilely smoking, who doth dare?”
Basso voices checked his air,
“Mis-take, you boob, bogus hair.”
—Ye Bard O’Bandon.
claims, without regard to facts or
names, “The men who draw at cigar
eets will all be nothing but dead beats.
They cannot make the football squad,
not do the things Co-eds applaud: cut
out the smoke, Oh, Men of “O,” or
you will die some day or so.”
I heard it stated, by the way, that
on a pleasant night, one day, the
“Sighta Car” fraternity, in swell dress
suits, had gone to see the “Fried
Potat” sorority. Upon the porch,
quite full of glee, they lit and smoked
up quite a stack of fragrant smelling
pipe tobac. Their hostesses were
pretty sore and some of them inward
Beyond this though it comes to pass
that the Co-eds enrolled at last, and
so sororities galore received some
smokes and sent for more. And so daily
the army larger grows, the faculty
will enroll too; the only holdouts of
all those are Charlie Koyl and his
crew. Call out all your Y. M. C. A.’s,
lets cuddle up and have a blaze; lets
start a good old battle royal, and lick
the crew of Charlie K«vl.
* * *
The Frat Man.
Is this an L-system advertisement
or an agent for Prince Albert to
bacco? No, my beloved, this is a fra
ternity man. A fraternity man is
composed of one white shirt front
adorned with a jeweled frat pin, a
bull dog pipe and an atmosphere. The
atmosphere is certainly elevating. The
frat man has to look down to see or
dinary people. He ought to wear ear
muffs to keep sounds from echoing
through his empty cranium.
W'hat is this object of scorn and
misery? This is a barb. What is a
barb? A barb is a man that hasn’t
sense enough to pick up an apple when
the fruit-stand tips over. He wears a
flannel short and a red necktie. His
socks have polka dots in sight and
holes out of sight. He parts his hair
in the middle and tries to get into so
ciety, hut he generally gets it in the
neck. The only thing he wears that
fits him is the air of adject humility
that he puts on when he meets a frat
This is a deep subject.
Cuts are of various kinds: there is
the cut direct, but it is unknown in
this democratic community; and there
is the choice cut of beef the Dorm
cuisine is famous for; and then again
are the cuts they illustrate stories
with (while we were getting shaved
yestereven, the barber told us a story
that was profusely illustrated), and
yet again there are the dozen odd cuts
we executed while the BOOT was go
ing to press.
So, taking every detail into consid
eration the subject is one beyond the
scope of this little essay, and may
well provide material for a Daily
Theme, or even, let us hope, a Fort
Excited Cub—“I hear that someone
killed himself here. What’s the par
Landlady—“Oh, don’t get excited, it
was only a roomer.”
* * *
Cynieus—“What do lovers enjoy
more than a moonlight night?”
Quizcus—“1 don’t know, what?”
Cynieus—“A night without any
Manila Cigars at Obaks.
Manila Cigars at Obaks.
Play to be Chosen and Work Started
at Once for Annual Dramatic
Professor Archibald F. Reddie was
chosen to coach the Junior Week-End
production, to be given by the Univer
sity Dramatic Club, at their meeting
held Tuesday evening. Two plays are
under consideration by the committee
and the one will be chosen which will
best fit the probable caste.
As soon as the parts are assigned
work will begin in order that the pro
duction will be ready for Junior Week
The members of the club decided
that all proceeds of the play over one
hundred dollars will be turned over to
the Student Body treasury. This re
striction was made to conform with
their constitution which provides for
the maintenance of a working balance
of at least one hundred dollars in the
ILLUSTRATED BIRD LECTURE
COMES DURING VACATION
Those who remain in Eugene during
the coming April vacation will have
the privilege of attending an illustrat
ed lecture to be given by Mr. Lord,
the noted bird humanitarian who
founded the Oregon Aubo Society.
The lecture is to be given under the
auspices of the Fortnightly ( lub on
Wednesday, April 16. The hall in
which Mr. Lord is to speak has not
yet been procured, but will be an
nounced later. No admission will be
Library Opens Vacation.
During the Spring vacation the Uni
versity Library will be open daily
from 8:30 a. m. to 5 p. m.
M. H. DOUGLASS,
President P. L. Campbell, A. R.
Tiffany, and A. H. Harris, edit-v of
the Portland Labor Press, were enter
tained at luncheon at the Beta Theta
Pi house Wednesday.
H. Ashton, Cambridge, England,
broad-jumped 23 feet -1 3-4 inches re
cently, breaking the inter-varsity
The larygitis hath bloomed at last,
Malaria almost is a-flower,
The lion and lamb are things of the
Ye sausage* hath retired to his bower.
Ye April Fool hath had his day
And left the field to the rabble.
Ye small boy diggeth the coy small
Of “Balmy Spring” doth ye poet
Ye baseball fan at muddy park,
Sheddeth the joyful tear.
Ye young man consulteth the “install
Yea, verily, Spring is here.
♦(Diagram) Sausage equals ground
The plan of placing students on
honor to develop character, was first
adopted in 1819 at Virginia. The
plan was devised by Jefferson. It was
his idea that the effects of fear are
but temporary and unsatisfactory and
that the proper way to correct the in
discretions of youth was to inculcate
“pride of character and laudable am
WE WOULD IF WE COULD
But we can’t offer you
anything better than
—OUR CHOICE CONFECTIONS—
Delicious Ice Creams,
Cool and Healthful Summer Drinks.
YOU WANT THE BEST!
WE SUPPLY IT.
Oak Shoe Store
• Big Supply of new Spring Shoes.
Tel. 227. 587 Willamette St.
Latest, Up-to-Date Films.
Cool, Well Ventilated, Pleasant.
Friday - Saturday
Oregon Seal Box Paper
24 Sheets and 24 Envelopes
mmm Book store
In Blue Serges, Greys,
Tans and Browns
$ 17.00 to $30.00
Kahn Tailoring Made to Measure Suits $18.00 to $50.00
Knox and Mallory Hats, $3.00 to $5.00
The Place Where You Will Meet All Your Friends
i'irst class Grill Seventh and Washington, Portland
Up-to-Date Methods of
Cleaning & Pressing
Phone 392 47 Seventh Ave. East
To Obtain an
You must wear a corset that pos
sesses a rare combination of beauti
ful lines, cleverly contructed, and at
the same time be fitted to this corset
by an expert.
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday,
April 7th, 8th, and 9th, Mrs. Redding,
renowned corset expert, will illustrate
by personal fitting, the famous
in our corset department.
A special invitation is extended for
you to attend Modart Exposition on
above named days.
Eugene Cloak and Suit House
E. LARGE, Register Bldg.
Phone 525 The Store that Sells Wooltex
l>--------------------- ■ ...
An interesting movement among
the Yale alumni has recently come to
light, in the form of an attempt to or
I ganize into a federation the various
' Yale clubs that exist in the South. The
Alumni Registrar, Edwin R. Embree,
is about to make a circuit of several
cities of the far south, speaking to the
alumni associations, and otherwise
booming the project.