SALEM SAGE TELLS DISASTER’S CAUSE REVEALED IN VISION Aesthetic Athletics and Excessive Mental Development Held Respon sible for Loss. (By Lee Hendricks.) Said a simple guileless student, (this, of course, is just a dream), “Will somebody kindly tell me what has happened to our team. We have lots of husky players, and they’re full of grit and sand, but when we play a game, they never seem to be on hand. Now, there was Johnny Smith, we all agreed he was a wiz, and he wore the scars of half a hundred battles on his phiz, but when the team was crippled, and wo needed fighting men to wade into the conflict—oh, where was Johnny then ?” Another student, who was wise about the latest fad to cleanse and purify the game, replied in accents sad, “He was sitting at a table with a towel about his head, reading from an ancient volume written by a gink who’s dead, for they ‘posted’ him in physics just before the game was played, and his team-mates fought their losing fight without old Johnny’s aid.” “Well, how about Bill Jones, who used to hit the line with vim? He also turned up missing, now don’t tell me they got him.” This question next came from the stude so unsophisti cated, and with another painful sigh, his friend elucidated, “Alas, old Bill is down and out, he is an also ran, his wires were crossed in calculus, and so he got the can. Time was, when his achievments would the sport ing columns fill, but now they’re go ing to try to make a highbrow out of Bill.” “Just one more question I would ask,” pursued the guileless one. “What’s hnppened to young Jimmy Brown, who made the famous run, Which won the game with Swabash, when T was Freshman here. T can’t helieve they’ve nut the brakes on his gridiron career.” ’Tis all too true, young Jimmy’s hooked, his usefulness is spent, for he has simply gone the wav the other players went. Soon will the last, good man be kicked into the boner’s ranks, and we will have a team to please the most fastidious cranks, composed of youths whose brains are crammed with knowledge visionary, and who can lick the team from some voung ladies’ seminary. Here, lest, the conversation may too realistic seem, let me repeat what first T said, thnt it is but a dream. HAMPTON S FOR Suits and Coats Corner Ninth and Willamette Linn Drug Go. KODAK SUPPLIES Prescriptions Carefully Com pounded Arcade Pool Hall BILLIARDS East Seventh Street Eugene Loan * Savings Bank 6*tabli*bed:uo2 Capital and Surplus $200,000 Student Patronage Appreciated PIERCE BROS. FANCY GROCERIES FRUITS, VEGETABLES Phone us your orders. We have our own delivery wagons. Phone 246 WELCOME U. of 0. STUDENTS Call and aee the new things in Jewelry, Silver and Novelties SETH LARAWAY Finest, Freshest and /lest Tens a"<' Coffees in tiuyene A

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