The Editor and his staff leave on the 4:43 train. Address all communications to Vancouver, B. C. We will fight extradition.
__ UNIVERSITY OF OREGON
VOL. XIII. EUGENE, OREGON, SATURDAY, APRIL 21, 1912. No. 49
POST LENTEN SOCIAL
SEASON IS USHERED
IN BY ARMORY BALL
ELABORATE FUNCTION TEND
ERED STAYOVERS BY EUGENE
ULTRA SMART SET
NEW DANCES INTRODUCED BY THE HOST
Terpsichorean Dancers Rend Un
known Rag Into Minute
Fragments.
With the passing of the Lenten
season, and with the appearance of
the bock signs, thase never failing
harbingers of the springtime, society
has renewed it's activities with re
doubled zest. What was probably the
climax of the present season occurred
at last Saturday’s hop. The motif
for this smart affair was the ap
proaching departure of several pop
ular club men and leaders in the
younger set.
With the idea of lending a semi
military tone to the occasion, the elab
oi-ate Louis Quartorze ballroom was
cleverly disguised as an armory or
barrack room and the host had fanci
fully attired some of the footmen in
uniforms with stars and buttons.
Favors for each dance, consisting of
clever little cards neatly decorated
with numerals, were distributed by
the hostess at the door. These were
later collected by the host.
In keeping with the plan of de
lightful informality, arrivals were
not announced by the butler, but the
host with the graciousness and
cheery hospitality, for which he is
noted, saw to it personally that each
guest met every other one.
Col. Farrington, E. P. F., attended
in uniform, with medals and side
arms. When not busy welcoming be
lated arrivals from Springfield, he
assisted the host on the floor, and
added dignity to the occasion.
The seven Misses Smith looked
ravishing in rouge et blanche and
were the recipients of continuous im
portunate attention.
The well known young ladies whom
Dame Rumor says are making for
tunes watering stocks and socks at
the exchange on West Eighth street,
were also much noticed.
Among: the gentlemen the tall
blonde, Mr. Ashcroft, was very pop
ular, as were Messrs. Plank and
Dinsmore, who capriciously appeared
in flannels with red cravats.
As an indication of the fastidious
ness of the host, only three sweaters
were present, one of these being a
genteel jersey. Several of the more
daring among the guests insisted
upon introducing the new fancy
dances now so much in vogue at cer
tain student clubs and at Murlark’s.
It was, however, hinted through the
uniformed attaches that this should
be post poned until the imposing row
of dowagers in the gallery should
leave at eleven p. m.
As usual with the ultra smart
functions, the vulgar and morbidly
curious surrounded the entrance and
gossipped disconcertingly. The ef
forts of all the footmen were needed
to keep the door clear.
Between numbers supper was
served downstairs a la “Little Hun
gary.”
Prof. Conklin’s prize mirth pro
voker: “What is the difference be
tween a sane man and an insane
man? An insane man is one whose
sanity is doubted, a sane man is one
whose sanity is never doubted. ’
******
“DON’T SHOOT”
Glide.
And some few
strove
in meditation
* (Filtered and Declared Sanitary *
* by Albert Alladan Sweetser.) *
of
* On Spring Vacation, week
rest, *
Enlightened by the Springfield *
zest.
’Tis with sad and depleted heart
That the Leftovers watch you
part.
For all the week the fleecy clouds *
Have overhung like palling *
shrouds. * *
The Library, so dank and dim, *
Has sheltered some true hearts *
within.
And some who were on pleasure
bent.
Contributed to Paul Bond’s rent.
The placid stream they paddled *
up, *
Stopping at a nook to sup, *
While some during even-tide *
Put on armour for the Student *
JLook what the eat drug in.
* To find new fields that they could *
rove.
Others, strong of mind and limb,,
Cavorted in our tankless Gym.
Tall Spencer, on our fair city’s
south,
Was host to many an eating
bout.
And all the while Jupiter Plu
vius,
With fits of rain was wont to fool
us.
But ere this cantation grows too
long,
And I with the Editor, get in
wrong,
I will stop—but advise gentle
reader,
That you forget this bull in
meter.
By Lyle F. Brown,
(Bacchanalian Pote.)
(Patent Applied for. Guaran
teed under the Food and Drugs
Act of June 30, 1906.)
Smoke La Marquise Cigarettes
University of Oregon, Mar. 25.
Dear Sirs:
After abandoning corn silk and cu
bebs, I successfully tried all makes
of cigarettes. I find that La Mar
quise surpasses all others as a gen
tleman’s smoke. It is cool and does
not soil the breath. Its true worth
lies in the fact that the ash does not
blow while ONE is motoring. I can
recommend it to all lovers of the
weed. I use no other.
C. W. W.
(Paid Advertisement.)
PROMINENT CLUB MEN
CULLED TO TIME BY
VARSITY REGISTRAR
OFFICIAL MISUNDERSTANDS
THE SPIRIT OF FRANCES E.
WILLARD MEETING
OBAK’S HENCHMAN ALMOST PURSUAOED
Amateur Ministers of Grace Learn
That Affair Is Huge
Hoax.
The mellifluous dulcet tones of
Registrar Tiffaney have often been
impersonated over the telephone by
misehievious students announcing
bogus holidays and fake suspensions,
but the impersonation was never used
with more telling and startling effect
than one evening during this last va
cation.
The result of the prank which was
doubtless undertaken in a spirit of
thoughtlessness and a childish desire
to play a joke, has been to completely
shatter three prominent and popular
’Varsity clubmen, athletes and bon
vivants, viz. Isaac Whiteman, Robert
Ohshaw, and Weinie Count.
The young men were just return
ing from the weekly meeting of the
Chas. Koyl Prohibition Society, and
fired with all the ardour and fervor
of stirring addresses by Dr. Schmitt
i and Prof. Straub, had stopped to la
bor with the mixer in Obak’s notori
ous dive. This individual by the way,
is reputed to be farthest sunk in
the depths of any of his profession,
as attested by his growing corpul
I ency and crimsoning nose. Just
when their work was being crowned
with success and the kneeling and re
pentant bartender had weepingly
promised to abjure his past life and
never again lead anyone into the
paths of temptation or colic by the
Red Tame Cherry route, Registrar
Tiffany’s grieved and startled glance
was detected around the corner of
the Imperiales picture. A moment
later the phone rang imperiously and
the registrar’s well known command
ing tones asked for the three univer
sity men.
It was truly a dramatic moment.
Laboring as they were with pious
zeal, they instantly realized their
presence might have been misinter
preted.
Mr. Whiteman took the phone, and
though constantly interrupted by his
fellow-workers, falteringly defended
the three against the accusation that
they were leading double lives, or had
ever been near the Luckey-Kelly re
sort at Springfield. After the de
fendants had tearfully promised to
find alibis and to appear before the
faculty committee for investigation,
the line was cut off and the young
disciples of Chapin went sadly home,
reflecting that goodness in this world
is often misinterpreted.
The perpetrator of the hoax has
not as yet been apprehended.
In a dissertation on the Caufield
Henderson nuptials, Brick Michael re
marked, “There was just one hitch
in the whole ceremony.”
Harney Oldfield Dickson’s New Road Louse.
•THE LEFT-OVERS"
Our editor, Mason, with kind intent,
Offered as “assistant” to print, my
name.
If a plausible yarn I could invent,
Written in poetry, I now do the same.
But here let me pause in my tale to
relate,
Of the four-forty’s delay in its sched
ule time.
“Something wrong with the coup
lings,” I heard them state,
And it didn’t pull out till five-twenty
nine.
But as I gazed at the left-over train
Strolling two by two up the street,
A comparison filtered my clumsy
brain,
The “coupling” there was quite com
plete. *
And a question rose that would not
be downed,
Can you stumble on the explana
tion ?
Just what did they mean when they
told around
That “they stayed to improve their
education.”
Was it “study” or “steady” that held
them here?
Was it the learning gleaned from
books ?
In the verses which follow, the an
swer is clear,
They study their steady—in mill-race
nooks.
They startled up the street by two
and twos.
No, stop! I have written that wrong.
For ’twas not two by Tooze—but
Grady by Tooze,
And Jane with Carl strolled along.
Wilma and Harold are still to be
seen
At the nickle-odes each day,
And we often catch glimpses of
Homer and Jean,
As they study—the mill-race way.
Agnes, they tell me, is following Co
lumbus
In discovering and claiming New
Lands,
Rut really there are a very few of us
Who seek the library with books in
our hands.
But after a little useless perusing,
I see Merle and Barzee leave the
place
And get a canoe which no one is
using,
Then paddle off up the race.
There are several young buds-—lately
out
Tn the midst of this garden of love,
Who soon will be classed as “cases,”
no doubt,
Then I’ll list them as I have the
above.
Thrusday night the dorm pave a
dance
And several spring cases were shown,
There were couplings that merely
were chance,
And others in a class of their own.
Bagley stooped to conquer, not Sap,
but Herman,
Miss Wagner with Bedford attended,
Ruth Beach with Shattuck, and Brad
shaw with Ann,
If I’ve left you out, don’t be of
fended.
For my mind is quite y‘on the blink,”
My interest in others has flown, °
The cause you might guess, if you
think.
You see—I’ve a case of my own.
Earl Latourette was hurt Tuesday
night. When found, he was in a de
lerious condition, playing on an
imaginary mandolin and singing
“After the Brawl is Over.”
SOCIETY LIONS ALL
EMERALD’S SOCIETY EDITOR IS
ORIGINAL HAIRLOCK SIIOMES
ON BUTTERFLY LIFE
DEBUTANTES BUTT INTO THE LIMELIGHT
Balls, Picnics, and Parties Entertain
Both Leftovers and Those Who
Have Hangovers.
The Delta Sigma boys gave a lawn
fete on the rolling green in front
of their new chapter lodge. The ev
ening was spent quietly with “1 Spy”
and “London’s Bridge.” Delightful
refreshments of Siskiyou water and
lady lingers were served. Miss Ma
ris poured. Jamison, Chandler and
Main acted as chaperons.
* * *
The Kappa Sigs attended the op
e p. e.i masse Tuesday evening. All
had i ripping time. However, Ted
Holmes, who failed to return to col
lege this year on account of sore
eyes, complained of the distance of
the coop from the stage. Fen Waite
complained because some rough per
son insisted on dropping peanuts
down his back.
* * *
Thursday night the Dormitory
boys entertained with one of their
notorious vacation struggles. Com
pared with former like affairs, the
dance was a success, few being se
riously hurt. Shin guards were given
as favors.
* * *
The Sigma Nus entertained exten
sively at bridge during the past week.
Ben Chandler acted as host. Among
the guests were George Lingenfelter,
Hex Turner, Bill Main, George Mars
den, and Claud Still. Chandler and
Lingenfelter carried away honors.
* * *
The A. T. O’s entertained the Be
tas with a dinner party during vaca
tion. Troughs were laid for eight
couples. During the soup course Hen
dershott’s orchestra was employed in
a vain attempt to drown the noise.
* * *
Jn return for the breakfast enjoyed
at the Rathskeller at Eleventh and
Alder, the Sigma Chis entertained the
Kappa Sigmas with a dinner Thurs
day evening. The table was simply
and tastefully decorated with a huge
mass of Roseburger blossoms. As
a novelty of the entertainment, fancy
dress was indulged in. Most of those
present affected rain coats and ul
sters.
* * *
Clarice Walls, the popular debu
tante, was tendered a lemon shower
by a number of his co-ed friends on
the campus. Dame Rumor has it
that Clarice is soon to be married.
Society is on the qui vive to know
who the popular fiasco may be.
* * ¥
The Kappa Sigs gave a decolette
golf party on their lawn last week.
Claud Still and George Marsden dis
played very good form. Owing to
the timely interference of the police
and the neighbors, the contest was
never decided.
Bob Bradshaw discovered a man
carrying a rather large sized package
down Eleventh street last night. The
man accosted him thusly: “Where
dosh Jim Roberts live?” Bob ex
plained: “Why man, you’re Jim
Roberts yourself.” Jimmy replied:
“I know, but where dosh he live?”