12 Th Newi-Revlew, Roteburg, Ore. Mon., Dec. 5, 1949
HAL BOYLE SAYS:
Time Brings Consolation
, To The Homely Youngster
NEW YORK-W) The first day I went to Junior high school
' Just 25 years ago there was a pretty girl sitting in Iront of me
in English clas. .
She was blonde, in a shaggy way, and had cupId bow lips and
a little brown frccWe here and there. I thought to myself, "boy,
if Junior high's like this I certainly wasted a lot of time get
tine through grammar school."
About halfway through the
inecnn. mv new dream eirl turn-
' ed around, grinned at me and
whispered:
"I wonder what you looked
like before the mule kicked you."
I waited until the teacher look
ed the other way, and then whis
pered Into the fair ear before
me:
"I never was kicked by a
mule."
She turned around and gave
me that heartbreak smile again,
and whispered:
"Oh, was it a horse then?"
For a moment I dln't under
stand what she meant. And then
I blushed clear down to my new
52.95 tennis shoes. What this dar
ling doll was trying to tell me
was that my face LOOKED like
it had taken a hoof -nassage.
This wasn't the first time I
had been disappointed In love.
Only three months before the
girl I had wanted to take to our
graduating exercises at the Lin
wood Grammar school had turn
ed me down with, "I'd love to,
Harold, but really you're too
small for me."
But no one before had ever
told me I was homely. I went
right home from Junior high and
spent a half hour grimacing at
the bathroom mirror.
That blonde was right! No
doubt of it. No nose needed to
spread that wide Just to fill one
pair of lungs with air. Were
those really ears or coat han
ger? That hair or was it moss?
Why did anyone need a mouth
that big unless he wanted to
swallow crackerjack boxes?
I came out of that bathroom a
desperate man. Women were out
of my life forever. I was going
to stay a bachelor and win all
the merit badges in the boy
scout book. How else could a love
frustrated fellow do at 13?
For the next ten years I hated
that face that looked out at me
from the mirror. The fact that
Abraham Lincoln and Socrates
must have had the same trouble
was no consolation at all.
But at 23 I made an astonish
ing discovery I was still pretty
ugly, out I wasn t getting any
worse. My ears hadn't grown an
inch.
In the years since then I have
learned the fine consolation that
time brings to the homely. There
is only one way for them to grow
and that is better. On the other
hand, those who are beautiful
or handsome when young can
only fade with age. And it frets
them into melancholy.
Often I used to wonder what
ever induced my lovely wife to
marry such a plain thing as her
husband. Ond day I found out.
We were looking through her
family album, and there was a
picture of her as a child with
her pet, Major, a fine old bull
dog. "Do you ever get lonesome for
Major?" I asked.
"Not anymore," Frances said,
looking at me fondly.
All along sucn is tne loyalty
of wives she has stoutly insist
ed I'm not really exactly home
ly. When I asked her what I was,
she searched through the Eng
lish language for an adjective
and said:
"Well, you're the...er...er...well
the rugged type."
Anyway it's better to be home
ly young, realize It young, and go
on to other things.
I , ONE Guy SSHAD THE B ( WROMG WITH YOU
THE WORRY WART gftfcff&S&t j
OUT OUR WAY
3y J. R. Williams
Some of the giant redwoods In
California arc believed to -be
more than 4,000 years old.
One tree may have as much as
80 gallons of water evaporated
from Its leaves In a single day.
Rules To Prevent
Sex Crimes Are
Listed At Meet
SEATTLE VP) A set of rules
for narents to aid in the nreven
tlon of sex crimes against their
children was recommended to
day by American Legion child
welfare leaders, as the Initial
step in a long range national pro
gram.
The rules were approved by
delegates from 11 Western states,
meeting here in the Legion's
western child welfare confer
ence. They Included:
1 Know your child's where
abouts and' associates;
2 Enforce your own curfews;
DEC. 5 OUR
econ
-$nniver5arij.
Did You Know . .
that your charge
account at Mil
ler's may be used
here? Did you
know that a gift
certificate
tor beauty treat
ment Is a fine
Christmas gift?
Today December 5 marks the
second anniversary of
Miller's Beauty Salon. Two
years in which we've en
Joyed working with all
of you. Our original staff
still on the Job.
m
m
hist ,
Thanks thanks to everyone for
being so swell to us.
Thanks to each and every one
of our customers, past,
present and future.
May we serve you in the
years to come.
Vera Washington
Ethel Odcrklrk
co-owners
LaVera Rutter
Meryl Hess
Irene Bonials
(J
loon
m
m
m
if
f.f'.
3 Train your child to go
straight home from school;
4 Train your child not to ac
cept rides or favors from strang
ers; 5 Report suspicious actions to
your police promptly and frankly-
The Legion committee, study
ing the sex crime problem, urg
ed a national conference to be
called and a national commission
created to study the issue. The
special committee is headed by
Past Nhtional Commander Steph
en F. Chadwick of Seattle.
The committee also urged all
communities to back 'ip parental
protective measures with the fol
lowing actions:
1 Light up your dark places;
2 Support an 'adequate police
department;
d Discourage any practice re
quiring young children to be
abroad after dark without prop
er supervision;
4 invite ponce and iuveniie
authorities to instruct and ad
vise parent groups;
5 Eniorce laws against tne
sale and circulation of obscene
literature and pictures.
A cooperative plan for child
welfare under the sponsorship of
the American Legion was endors
ed In Friday's morning session
by Randel Shake of Indianapolis,
associate National Child Welfare
director for the Legion. . .... ,
The plan, in cooperation with
the American Medical associa
tion and the American Academy
of Pediatrics, backs welfare ac
tivities on a community level.
Shake said that proposed ac
tion on a local level would include
the training of doctors and
nurses, emphasis on school and
public health programs, distribu
tion and financing of health serv
ices, including the field of vol
untary health Insurance, and a
program of health education.
SK00TER BUNNIES PAMPER YOUR TOES
Cuddly, Inviting, bunny scuffs
In toft pasteli or warm darker colon.
The perfect gift for you and your frlendi.
''''
7 delicious
colors:
White
Yellow "
Black
Royal Blue
Light Blue
Pink
Red
S - i ' ' ' i. V
3.95
i i
I
I ORDER BY MAIL!
. We Pay Postage
' Miller's, Roseburg, Ore.
' Please send me ( ) pair
Skooter Bunnies.
I Color Size
I enclose ( ) check ( ) money order
I Please ( ) charge to my account
I ( ) send CO. D.
Name
I Address
L
Former Judge
Warns Against
Spending Funds
v' ASHING! uN. Dec. 5. (JP)
Former. Federal Judge Charles I.
uawson, DiocKed by Jonn L.
Lewis irom a seat as trustee over
the coal miners welfare fund,
said today any persons spending
fund money do so "at their per-
Dawson, whom Lewis refused
to recognize as trustee chosen by
coal operators, said he and Sena
tor Bridges (R-NH) the neutral
trustee have voted to cut even
emergency payments from the
fund.
Lewis, trustee representing the
United Mine Workers union, did
n't recognize Dawson's vote. The
UMW leader contended his own
negative vote matched Bridges'
affirmative vote, so the emer
gency payments will continue.
Dawson said the welfare fund
is so broke it's already two
i.iOmus ueiuud in paying lor the
emergency hospital cases still
continued on welfare fund rolls.
"I have notified employes and
administrators of the fund," he
said, "that any action taken in
violation of any resolution for
which I and any other trustee
voted would be taken at their
peril."
The legal tangle among the
trustees is only a part of the
complicated coal dispute. The
background is mat Lewis and the
coal operators have failed to ne
gotiate a new labor contract to
replace the one which expired
last July 1,
NEW OFFICIAL SEATED
PKiN DLETON (&) J asper E.
Ollnger, 66, Milton Republican,
was sworn in as county commis
sioner to fill the vacancy left by
the death of Sam Ingle, Milton,
also a Republican.
Ollnger will serve till Dec. 31,
1950. The remaining two years
of the term will be filled by a
regular election next November.
The new commissioner is head
of a lumber company at Milton
Freewater and sells real estate.
Chinese Order
Renews Hopes Of
Freeing Ward
By EDWARD E. BOMAR
WASHINGTON, Dec. 5. W
A new Chinese communist or
der "expelling" Consul General
Angus Ward from Mukden raised
hopes today for the early release
of four other American prisoners
In the ar P9t.
Ward and his aides, including
15 Americans, are now expected
to start home early next week by
way of the north China port of
Tientsin. After trying to leave for
months, they were finally ordered
to depart by 8 a. m, Wednesday
by the Mukden municipal govern
ment. The state, department mean
while hopefully awaited word
from Moscow on the prospects for
freeing two ECA shipping offl-
PINT-SIZED FARMHAND
Five-year-old Teddy Ray Hook
er, who has been driving a tract
or, since old enough to "cry to
n nn m o twn.fitpH milker as
well. Father Ray Hooker, owner
of a 160-acre larm near KiaiooK,
ruin iin Tcdriv is "the best
doggone hand I ever had."
dais who were taken to Soviet
supported north Korea on
Sept. 22. ' '
Pyia screed nesrly three
weeks ago, after two American
requests, to take up the matter
with the communist "Peoples
Republic."
The United States turned to
Russia for help because it does
not recognize the north Korea re
gime and has no representatives
at Pyongyang, its capitol.
i ne nortn noreans nevei -uieitnw
l. ...... AamanAaA "nfftninl fnrr.
spondence" presumably a direct
request irom ine u. o.
Unemployment Benefits
Reach All-Time Peak
SALEM VP) Unemploy
ment compensation benefits for
1949, will be the largest in the 12-
year history or tne unemploy
ment compensation cuaiiiuaawii.
rr-uA AnmmlMinn snlrl It naid Out
$16,622,325 in the first 11 months
of tnis year, mat ini ua.
the total of $16,669,748 for the en
tire 12 months of 1946, which is
tile wuil year until this one.
Benefits paid In November
ei Q97 wtilnh was threfl
WCIC lWU i , " ....... -
times the November, 1948, figure.
it was more man was yam ""s
tho pntire last three months of
1946 or 1947.
The commission's Portland of-
fl r.nlri nut SH-VI S97 lflst month.
or 43 per cent of the total.
The Eugene office was second
with S124.397. and Salem was next
with $112,850.
gX&TlNg-
Surprising!
...all these
in the most wonderful
Xmas Gift of all...
by
an empty Gift Powder Box
Yes an empty powder box contains all this... even more important,
it' brimming over with your thoughtfulness . , .your originality.
And what a joy when she brings it back to the Charles of the Rita,
consultant to have it filled with her very own made-to-order
face powder. $2, 3, gift packaged (plus tax)
Cosmetics Main Floor
MID-SEASON
CLEARANCE
Ladies Fall and Winter Hats
.
ALL WANTED. STYLES ASSORTED SIZES
Formerly 5.95, 7.95 8.95, 10.95, 12.95, 17.95
NOW $
ONE PRICE
While
Stocks
Last
MILLINERY SECOND FLOOR
SHOE DEPT. MAIN FLOOR