THE KVBVIVO NEWS MONDAY, APRIL 2, 1017.
THE EVENING NEWS
iiy
II. W. UATKS UKKT O. KATES
1HSUKU DAILY K.VCH1T SUNDAY
Subscription ltates Dully.
Tfir year, by mail 13.00
I'er montli, deliverod 60
Semi-Weekly.
Per year '?'n!l
Bix month lu"
Mntprnrl as second-class matter,
November 5, ISO!), at ItoaeburB, Ore.,
under act of March 3, mm.
MONDAY, APItll. 'A
AlMilO FOOLfl DAY.
readers Associate I'ross reports a
feature carried by no other paper In
Koseburg, You will not gat your
"wires crossed" If you read '1'he
Kvenlng News for the world's doings.
When a man Is seen sneaking
around In the middle of the night
near a valuable railroad bridge, fuc
tory or munition plant, It is safe to
assume about now that he iu not do
ing it for his health, nor is ho look
ing for a good piaco to lay out a
vegetable garden.
When they got all rigged, up
with short skirts, white stockings,
and black boots, many of our mod
est and shrinking girl friends come
down town with calm confidence
that no one Is going to notice thein.
DOINGS OF THE CITY
You could never make the kidlets
of former days tiunK mai
fools Day was ono of the minor oc-
..., !.,., r fho vp;,r. They looked
forward to it ns almost next to
r......ti, n'hv nliinned elabor
ate hoaxes, and conducted campaigns
for tho befooJnienl oi uiuei uu
wiser heads. ror onco in me j.
they feit tbreast of the grown-ups,
being able thus to deceive and make
game of them.
Most women Bel out in the morn
ing to fool their husbandB as the
first business of the day, and com
monly they succeed. The news
papers printed elaborato accounts of
traditional hoaxes, like placards at
tached to people's backs marked
a i.v.,,1 wnni flnuehnilts fried in
brown fat looking exactly like the
real tiling, etc. ineso wneiiic w,;...
boyond the capacity of the children,
who contented themselves with min
or stunts like culling attention to
some Imaginary bird In the near by
tree.
Tho humorists oi every ago have
their own methods, which change
. . 1-..,.tl,..,l llr,,u
irOUl lllllO IU U.ne. it,.,...-... J.......
nro not so common as they used tol
bo. Wit and humor uccomes u.u.e
refined. People with a humorous
turn enjoy jollying othors. matching
wits and poking run at them. They
like tripping them up in conversa
tion and repartee, rather than mak
ing them physically ridiculous.
Those mor.orn forms of humor are
more subtle, and are often just as
irritating to tho sensitive vk-ulni.
The man who Is slow of speech feels
baffled and hel .ess among tho Jok
oib of modern society. But fun milk
ing Is the sploe of lifo. Peoplo who
can't take llielr part and accept jok
ing on themselves good naturally,
ai-o hound to be as uncomfortable
as tho old timer who hud tho pla
card stuck on his back on the first
day of April.
"That 0, 000, 000 Is a large sum
to lake away from I lie taxpayers,"
Is an assert ion being miida a good
deal in commenting upon tho pend
ing road bond Ihsuo. Tho assertion
is based upon a pie-ulent misunder
standing of what the act Involves.
Nothing in the net requires any In
crease of taaxlion In order to got the
$11,000,000. It Is the automobile
which pays the money. Autu license
fees have been doubled, and with a
normal Increase in tho number of
machines owned In Oregun, tho fees
will more thun cover (lie Interest and
the sinking fund payments to retire
tho entire bond issue. Should there
be no Increase at all in the number
of autos used, it would still bo un
necessary to raise taxes, for tho extra
money would come rrnni the present
iual ti)r-nilll road lax. Huppm-tois of
the road bonding measure will do
well to correct the misunderstand
ing. (.Untieing over The Kvenlng News'
columns of today and comparing
nielli with two months ago or even
six months teils the story whether
or not tile public appreciates n llve
wlro dallv paper. The advancement
made in every department of this
otllee slnro the new management as
sumed control Is fur beyond ex pec
latlons. New names uim being con
stantly ad.b'd In our subscription
lists, the advertising columns made
bright and attractive by a large num
ber of wide-awake merchants ami
the Job printing depart mi nt - second
to none Ml tile state Is kept ihihv
turning out that class of work In
1me inetropnllian slvle. II is a con
dition oi affairs thai is very cm-e.nr
iiirliiK to the management and only
urges The News to malic further ami
greater strides during 1 1 i . loin
mcnclng today we furnish to our
So far the submarines have not
required our Bailors to blow up their
own ships and jump overboard as a
penalty for venturing on to their
privutely owned ocean.
The men who call the militia
forces tin soldiers are again thank
ing their stars that they had toe
foresight not to join.
There is a widespread conviction
that working In the garden Is a very
healthful exorcise for your wife and
your boys.
April 1 always .shows a great
lock of preparedness on the part of
the grown ups against the plots of
the kldlets.
It was finally decided not to ask
the kaiser's permission before cull
ing congress logeiner.
DOItlH KKXYOX ON
WI.NTKIl TOl'ltl.Nt
FumoiiH Mini Ktar Mnkm Heconl
Drive in .MuKHiicliiLsolts.
Doris Kenyan, film Btar, is known
as one of tho most daring and en
thusiastic motorists In her profes
sion. Her midwinter cross country
nights In her Overland six-cylinder
roadster have won her country-wide
attention and no small amount of
fame.
tihe holds the unique idea that
mid-winter motoring is hcBt. and
runs her roadster all winter, under
all weather conditions.
Miss Kenyon was recently asked
to go to Kali lllver, Mass., to appear
In person In two theatres there
Miss Kenyon decided to drlvo there
In her car, In Bplto of the fact It was
tho day after Christinas, and tho
distalico was miles.
Starting before daylight on tho
day after Christinas, and running
under t ho auspices of several New
England newspiiperB along the route
slut covered the distance in Bix hours
and 35 minutes, stopping only once
for fuel, and not once stopping the
motor.
Then sho found out what the roc
urd was between the two cities and
determined to break it.
Tho following n..y "lln Kenyon
drove back, In spite of the worst
road conditions of the year, lu rain
hall and sleet, with the road a glare
of Ice. In eight hours ami 20 mln
utoB. To make this drive she had
to travd over lonely roads for miles,
hut never had liny trouble.
"I'vo had my Overland now for
nine mouths." said Miss Kenyon.
"havo driven It over 7000 miles,
have not bought a new lire, ami
haven't even hud a spark plug
cleaned or Hie engine touched.
know when I start out for a cross
country trip In that cur that I'm go
lug to get there without any trouble.
I have iibsolue and implicit fall It
Unit my cur will a anywhere, any
lime."
The action of the Kugene Cham
her of Commerce on changing Hit
name of Uine county because of the
actions of I'lilled Stales Senator
l.uiie. of Oregon. In congress when
the president's armed neutrality
bill came up for a vote has attract
ed a great deal of attention through
out the slate. 1). A. Katun, of Halls
ton, 1'olk county, wrote as follows:
"I see yon want to change Hie naim
of l.snc county. Call it 'Justice
county. I am a voter ami am 7S
years of age. I voted lor l.ane, hut
I am done with him. I am a demo
erat loo."
We Are
Tremendously
Enthusiastic
About our
Springj
Skirts
and rn will ou he
When )()!' Sii) lllflll.
Fro'ii materials to (In
tshoi! iiu'iitu t bene
Slilrtf are made In n
KUin'ifor fashion. It In
ti tilntlnctive lino, lu
every d o t a I I lliai
counts.
Bellows
A Woniiu.'i Shop
For Women's Wear.
I cTr?Trr
bulletin Attract. !
The Atmucia. Press Bulletins of
Tho Evening News today Lttiacted a
great deal of attention from passers-'
y. These bulletins are absolutely i
authentic and offer many news fea-j
lures that are not carried in uny otli !
er bulletin in the city, ;
INmh Aent Arrives. I
The press affent for the Alexan
der Company, which will appear at!
in" nuticip nuun, a J i ncu iu HUB KILJf
kjuuj ttnu p;iii Buveiui nours auver-'
tlsinff the company. This feature
has been playing to packed houses;
throughout the south and it Is said'
to be a very meritorious troupe. j
1iiii Tninwfer Will Move.
Tho H. j. Denn Transfer Co. has'
leased oftlce rooms in the Hlldeburn
block on lower Cass street and will
vac-ate their present mi arte r a on
Jackson street tomorrow. They will
havo very commouious rooms for
carrying on their business at their
new location.
Attorney General Patriotic.
Attorney General Geo. M, Brown,
who was in this city lust week, paid
a visit to The Evening News office
and spent sumo time chatting with
the force. Mr. Firown was delighted
to see tho, abundance of flags that
are displuyeu in this city and said
that it shows tue right spirit.
Severn i WrH Scenario.
Although; several budding auth
ors of thin city havo submitted
scenarios to eastern and California
movio firmtl, no news htB yet been
heani from a one of them, accord
ing 'to tho writers. It Is very prob
altlo tuat the "scenario" has found
tho depth of the film company's
waste paper basket.
Myrtle Creek Itefthlent IMes.
J. Sj Harris, of Myille Creek,
died yesterday evening at the Hose
buirf sanitorium after an illness of
several years. The funeral will be
held at Myrtle reek tomorrow after
noon. J. It. Harris, brother of the
deceased, was in the city todty ar
ranging for the funeral.
It m ''deling ItooniK.
The club looms of the lTnp(U.
holel are today being 'remodeled in
i erMlini.'Ms for the liar her shop that
will he installed here within the
next few days by Al. IVrklns. Mr.
I'erkins today stated that his fix
tures would arrive soon from Port
land and they will im mediately be
sot up. Tho shop will no doubt prove
i.s a great convenience to the pat
rons of the hotel.
Ileimoii ChiuitfOH Location,
10. C. bennon, secretary of tho
Uoselnii'g Merchants Association,
moved his office fixtures to the
rooms formerly occupied by Attor
ney George Neuner in tho Douglas
National Hank building yestorday.
lie has good roomy quarters which
will fdcilitato the hkndHng of his
constantly increasing business.
Itnolt Issued.
"Tho Umpqua" an eifcht page
paper issued by the Btudents of the
Gardiner high school, wan today
turned out by The Kvening .Vnvs job
depart ment. The pi. per contains a
greut deal of excellent reading mat
ter and several ads. of the merchants
of the Gardiner district. The paper
is IhhihmI periodically and is very
popular Muong the students.
Goes to Kiilem.
State Superintendent of Schools J.
A. Churchill returned to Salem yes
terday morning after several days
spent in thiH city attending to busl
ncHrt matters and visiting the school
teachers' clubs which met here Sat
urday. He Is delighted with the
manner in which the local schools
are hinii conducted and says that it
is his opinion that much good work
is being accomplished In spite ol the
hampered quarters.
Twenty-XI ne Veurs Ago.
Weather Obc.erver 'William Hell
was showing to i. News representa
tive today a photograph taken 2;t
years ago of Mm self, in this city,
the work having been done by II. IV
Graves, formerly in business here.
There is quite a noticeable change
in I he physiognomy of Mr. Itetl to
day compared with hi most 30 years
n go. lie was some "flashy" looking
boy in those days and to add to his
I "tnake-up" Martin Marks, a brother
' of Herman Marks, now of this city,
j placed a $:tOp diamond stick pin In
his tie when Mr. Hell posed for his
I picture.
j Wants ltnfMtnug Komi.
According to word received in this
rity today. Myrtle Point is again agl
i fating a road from that city to Uose-
burg and several meetings have been
i held In the interests of the htghwny,
The papers of that section ure very
j enthusiastic in their support of the
: issue and h.mi 1 Hut gins county on
J the proposal of a county bond Issue.
; One iwiper has tho following to say,
j "At the piV pa redn ess meeting in
i Marshfleld. the Myrtle Point delega
' t Ion ht.d a slogan reading, 'The
Marsh field Armory, If we can get
the Myrtle Point road.' These pa
triolH filled with the spirit of the
! meeting, heart and soul for prepar
i edness in the same spirit that they
! supported the Ivond issue, favor nn
i armory In which to train Coos bny
'young men to defend the country If
the Htj.te will build them a road to
, Uonehurg.
aivi:ktiski mail.
The following Is n lisi of letters
i and cards remaining uncalled for
jiit the ltoeburg poatofHee:
Harrett, H. M.; Carter, Walter;
! Clark. Mr.: Colvln. H, A.; Hall. J.
H.; Kirk. A. .1.; Miller. Miss Helle;
! Morrow. Joseph; Moore, Win.; Stark,
j O. A.; Sutton, Mr.
tnrls.
Arrcll, Occar; Stone. Miss Hazel,
j L. P. UKIZKNSTK1N.
1 J Postmaster,
CORSETS
TRY ONE. IT WILL WEAR
LONG AND
YOU WILL LIKE IT WELL
rs .c certainly are selling well this spring.
iOcllS We have another large shipment in to
day. They come in all the season's new materials
and popular colors $6,50 TO $45.00. ?.'-i?L-.yab!SV!e?J
Also more DRESSES. Come ( in, you can spend a
pleasant hour here. 1
The SQUARE Store
AX KXt'M-HIVK, LAIHKS' SIIOI'
GEO. A. BURCHARD 131 N.'.Jackson Street
Ride on the Prosperity Wave
to the Bank.
Are you getting your bIiiuo of prosperity? H you
are, conserve a part of your wealth. Deposit your
surplus' cash In the bank. Willful waste means woe
ful want. De prepared for a possible chango iu
conditions. Keep enough balance In the bank to
provide for a stagnation. There's no telling when
ready cash will be at a premium. It is the man with
the ready cash who Is unafraid. See us today about
that bank account of yours.
THE UMPQUA VALLEY BANK
B. W. Strong, President: J. M. Throne, Cnshler; D R.
Shambrook, Vice President; Roland Agee, Vice President.
ScIhh.Ih Are ('I.Mel,
According to word received In
this city, the schools at Oakland,
Ore., have been closed on account of
an epidemic of measles.
IlulletiiiH Ai-o Kea.ly.
Bulletins on spraying iieacneo,
cherries, apples, pears, prunes and
plums have Just been published by
the Oregon Agricultural College und
aro ready for distribution to appli
cants. Arrives Home.
John W. Parker yesterday arrived
home from Portland where he at
tendeu the meeting of tho North
west Tourist Association. Mr. Par
ker says that tho meeting was a
very interesting one.
Haiiis Steadily.
According to weather forecasts the
rain of last night was tho most
steady that has occurred here for
several weeks. A big raise in the
river la expected as a result and it
Is thought that it will exceed all
former marks lor height tills year. I
Proclamation Issued.
The Catholic who falls in patriotic
i.uty to his country is not a loyal
son of the Culholic church, declar
ed . Archlbishop A. Christie In a
iiroclaniatlon to tho clergy and laity
or the arch diocese of Oregon several
days ago.
Atliiicttf rrmvds.
Tho Kvenlng News several days;
ngo started 1110 idea 01 pasting too
front page of the paper on tho bul
letin board immediately nt tho time
it was oft too press and tho popular
ity of the paper is fully nttosted In
tho manner with which tho crowds
quickly gather to read the live news
of the day.
Civil Service Kvums.
No more will tho postniustership
of any city, town or village in the
United States bo governed by poli
tics. Ileginning yesterday all post
masters will be appointed under civil
service rules regardless of political
beliefs. The examinations will he
comp-tiiive. This new rule will lint
only Improve the service, but will
savo tho government a great deal of
money each year.
Itcvlew Work of Chilis.
Stale Superintendent of Public
Instruction J. A. Churchill has issu
ed a bulletin which reviews the wor..
of tho boys' anil girls' Industrial j
clubs during tho past year. The bill-:
letin contains the pictures of thei
hoys and girls who won capital
priz.s for exhibits at the state fair
last September. The pictures nro
arocinpanled by letters of explana-
tin., nt the work done bv the prize
I winners. The bulletin states that
during I ho past year there wvre f, , 7
clubs organized with an aggregate
membership of 13.S0.',. The work
concerned corn growing. potato
growing, vegetable- culture, poultry
raising, pig feeding, gardening, can
ning, sewing, baking, etc.. and is
full of iutei-est.
lU.ys Abandon Show.
' Two lads, 14 years of age, Clay
ton Coates and John Wheeler, he
longing to the "Jolly Entertainers"
who were in Roseburg several days
,-go, were picked up yesterday niorn
I ig in Marshfield by the chief of po
lice. The boys becamo dissatisfied
with the show and walked from
Myrtle Point to Marshfield. They
wero sent to Myrtle Point later,
where they rejoined the show.
Now Located at 225 N. Jackson
Ready to serve you better than ever, Monday,
February 5. Thanking you for your past favors
and soliciting a continuance of the same, yours
for better service.
THE CASH STORE
J. B. KING, Proprietor Roseburg, Oregon
Mrs. G. K. Clav, of Glendale. re- Miss Ellen Mllllkin, who Is teach
turned to her home Saturday even-! ing school at Gunter, arrived Sutur
ing after spending the (lay shopping! day evening to spend Sunday in this
in uiis cny, t.-ii.y nun j.-..-.
, m jp -N.iSiJ.igfP ,
Mrs. May Horvoy. aKlil 4-. a na-
tlvo of W'umliirt county, passed away,
law Saturday night after a (MTious
illntss which has kept Iut confined
to MtMTy hospital for boiuo Unit; pro-j
ciMtns her death. i
Mrs. llervey was born In PoncU'.s
county, July, 1875. nnd nor entire;
residence has been In this vleinit.l
Kor tho past ten years she has rt - j
sided with nor husband nt Kiddle j
whore she made a Rioat nihiiy,
frinnds who are preutly prleved by
her death. She has always boon ai
mouther of the Itaptlst church a,
strong and consistent worker. j
She is survived by her husband'
;-.nd throe children, hots. Kenneth '
and Audrey llervey, nil of whom re-
side- at Ktddlo. Her mother. Mrs.
.tarlotia Hatfield, also survives as
well as her brothers. K. li. UatllcM.i
T. V llatfiem, KUJah Hatfield. V.
V. Hatfield i.mt Alex Hatfield.
Tho funeral sorviro was held this
afternoon from the Baptist church, j
Hev. Katon of the local church and j
Kev. Anderson, of Kiddle, offlciat-j
InR. Interment took placo In the I.I
O. O. P. cemetery. 1
"Hoosler Beauty"
Advertised in Leading Magazines
This New Hoosier Cabinet
Delivered for Only $1.00!
Will Another Day End This Sale?
The Public Alone Can Answer.
The Immediate
Closing
of this sale may be caused tomorrow by the num
ber of women who enroll on this Hoosier Plan. If
all the women who need Hoosier should come to
morrow, our allotment would be taken before night
nnd tho sale would close.
On the other hand. If women delay, the sale
may last all week. Which now is the best for
you to delay and take the chance of missing this
opportunity or to come down tomorrow and find
out about this cabinet so you run decide before
It is too lute?
It ennnot tnke you ton minutes to
tlooldt', once for all, whether .yon
intend to purchtiMi now or later
And you nro deciding, rememtKr,
whether or not you will save miles
of iiunorovsnry stvm you now take.
Put unless you decide at once, you may decide
too late to own tht jr.. .!!'? of alt Hoosier cabinets
on this liberal Hoosier Plan. i. 000. 000 women al
ready have Hoosiers. Thousands are buying thU
new Hoosier every week. You should, without fail,
prasp this opportunity and see this cabinet tomor
row. You may choosfc between the celebrated Hoosier
Iteauty pictured above, and one of the Hoosier
Wonders.
Terms'of Hoosier Plan Are These:
1 $1 lnits the rahiiiet you ciiooso In your homo.
" SI weekly pays for it.
3 Tho Low t"n!i IViro five.1 by the factory pre
vails stilelly.
4 The sale is under direct ftliervision of tho
Hoosier Colllaiiy.
." No Interest. Xo extra fees.
(I Your money liark if you nro not I)KI.ICiHTKI
Willi your Hoosier.
Only those women who grasp this opportunity
tomorrow ran bo sun- of gelling one of these cab
inets on this llheral Hoosier plan. You realize, of
course, thi.t these terms could not be offered ex--cept
on a very Hi .ited number of cabinets.
After This Sale
j The "Hoosier riaii" terms will bo withdraw n.
Our regular furniture terms will then prevail-
A. J. Lilburn & Son
Complete House Furnishers Roseburg, Oregon