THE EVEXIXO "XKW8 FRIDAY, JANUARY 91, 1010.
How About Quality?
DOES IT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE
To you whether or not
you have the BEST of
GROCERIES?
You are entitled to the best and will g'et it if you
call for ROYAL CLUB ROR PREFERED STOCK.
Phone 2381
u:ilcrta
7 . JLr
AVE OPERATE OUB OWN DELIVERY
T.FT 1"S HANDLE YOI'll VIIOIHTE.
I
With jammer in Hand and
Gets Busy
CITIZENS ARE"ALARMED"
Donned hi ft ItegnUu IVctiiiur to His
Profession He Crt'iitcs u Ilifflo
of Laughter at Noon
Tuduy.
A PKOPOSAK MACHINE.
Just the Thing for Uushfiil Young
Jtiirhi'lnrs. I
Philadelphia, Pa., Jnn. 21. Here
is a nlnn that should cause joy In
the hearts of hashful young men who
Amos W. Hiester, violinist at
Star theatre, will accept punlla
for violin. Especial nt tent ion to
juvenils. Inguire at Star theatre
or phone 885. 1
enough to "pop the question" to the
gin or iriL'ir pnoice.
Take the girl on an unsuspecting
visit to the laboratory of the psycho
logical clinic of the University of
Pennsylvania, which is directed by
Dr. Llghtncr Witmer, head of the
department of psychology. Then
have her place her hand in a ma
chine which you will notice is la
beled a "phthymograph" or "phy
nmograph,' and step into an ad
joining room to await developments.
While her hand rests easily in the
machine, some one whispers in an
audible voice your name, "George,"
"Reginald," or what it might be, and
you keep your eye on the indicator.
The machine will do the work, and
you can tnke the word of some of
the psychologists who have been ex
perimenting with it as to the abso
lute authenticity of this statement.
What the machine does is to reg
ister on a piece of paper a distinct
line, which designates with precise
correctness the very emotions the
mention of your name to the girl
has caused her to experience.
If the line sinks despairingly
downward toward the bottom of the
paper, take it from the "proposal
machine" that your stock is rather
low and you had better seize upon a
confidential tip on paper and con
tinue to press your suit a time
longer.
If, however, the line fairly leaps,
toward the top of the paper every
thing is all right and you ought to
rush Into the room where the girl is
seated, draw her to your breast and
say: "Well, tell me, why didn't I
think of this long ago?"
Before going into he details of
how this "phthymograph" works out
in actual practice, some Idea ought
to be given of the mechanical con
struction. In the first place there is1
a small metal cylinder on the Inside
nf which 1r a rubber linlnsr which fits
the hand like a glove. It is into
this rubber glove the girl inserts herl
hand.
The space between the glove and
the cylinder Is filled with water, and
on the top of the cylinder is a tube
that acts as a gauge, showing a con-i
traction or an expansion f the girl's
hand. As the hand contracts thei
water f.'ills In the tube. At the same
time n like effect is caused in a logg
er rubber hose which is attached to
the upright metfil tube and passes
through the partition into the adjoin-
Ing room. Connected with the hose
is a sort of piston-like apparatus, tip
ped with a rubber diaphragm, at the
end of which is a lever wnicn regis
ters the contractions or expansions on
the paper.
For Men. There Is no beter shoe
mnde than the celebrated "J. E.
Tilt," which is to be found at the
Mllllkin Shoe Store. And for heavy
wear there is nothing equal to the
United Workman Shoe." dt-f.
GENERAL DRAYING
Goods of every description moved to
any parts of the -city. Prices reason
able. H. S. FRENCH
1 F YOU WANT A
PERFECT COMPLEXION
Free of wrinkled with the flunh of
youth, tln'ii' I nothing moro
helpful th ii ii
GREME ELCAYA
a toilet cream that
MAKES THE SKIN LIKE VELVET
l'OUDHK KIX'AYA (Three
Shndi's) very flnu and Adherent,
ffvinir the kiu a nnturnl mipi'nr
nncenmlthe i'.LOAYA frmrmtictt.
Sold by
MARSTER'S DRUG CO.
ItOMKIICIMi, OlIK.0N all!
We're in a Position
to offer you the best the market af
fords in the way of Meats; and our
prices you know are always lowest.
We handle only prime stock. Qual
ity and quantity guaranteed. Flue
roasting pieces of beef from 8c to
iiic pound. First class mutton,
veal, pork and poultry equally low.
Can't do better anywhere. Phone ua
your order. We deliver to any part
of the city.
Cass Street Market
I,OUIB KOHLHAGEX, Prop.
107 WeBt Cass Bt Phone 191.
Free Dellrery.
Donned In a pair of blue jeans, f
little 'the worse for wear, though fit
ting as snug as a kid glove on the
shapely hand of the fairer sex, ham
mer in hand, coat a little short for a
rainy day and hardly up to the pres
ent standard of fashion, a broad smile
reaching from ear to ear, Senutor
Albert Abraham was spied "mosylng"
up the main thoroughfare of the city
today. At first impression one would
have been lead to believe that the
disseminator of the theories of 13'iack
stone was on a "knocking" expedition,
so conspicuous was his implement of
war-r-a hammer displayed to the
peace and dignity of the unsuspecting
public. He had no time for social
converse, all friends and enemies,
too had been cast to the winds.
When approached by a News repre
sentative to ascertain, if possible, why
this air of importance and the cause
of appearing on the paved streets of
Kosehurg garbed in a regalia more- fit
for a member of the carpenter's union
no satisfactory explanation was given
to the news gatherer. In fact, the
Senator looked upon the "pencil
pusher" as a man of insignificance to
one like himself bent on some mission
the exactness of which was a loss to
the newspaper man. At first thought
the latter decided to turn in a firo
alarm, but after calming himself, du
cided to watch the route outlined by
the would-be assasln of some delin
quent client. Going up the street,
without touching a lamp post, and
barely rubbing the high plnued in the
sidewalks, when the senator reaHted
the Odd Fellows Temple he turned to
the left, still holding steadfast to
his hammer, no coat tall in the air,
for this part of his raiment was made
when coats were trimmed to the top
notch, he gained in speed. The News
man was "winded" at the first half
but followed on. As the. senator1
reached a Epot about half way be
tween Cass and Lane going north on
Main he again made a sudden "shoot"
to the left.
All was lost sight of for just a mo
ment and when the News representa
tive, complctey fagged out by ihe
trving ordeal, reached the large
building being erected at the' above
particular spot by the Rosehurg Min
isterial Association, lo, and behold,
with hammer in hand, perspiration
flowing from his brow like an Oregon
mist breaking over Mt. Nebo, the
Senator was perched on a high scaf
fold driving spikes that looked to
him like they were a foot long
The newspaper representative gaz
ed at him for only a moment when
Contractor Clelnents cried out,
"There's a fellow who looks like he
wanted to be drafted in. Catch him!"
At this uncalled for salute the
News man made his exit, not lookiug
for anything to do outside of his reg
ular duty, and left the Senator, who
only a few hours before had been
commanded to appear at the taber
nacle for duty immediately after fin
ishing his noon day meal.
Those in charge of the building are
no respeclcra of person or profes
sion and you may he commanded
at any time to put on your apron and
join the army of workers who serve
without pay from the man below.
So beware.
Among those who nre "doing
time" and actually working to
day on the structure nre H. H.
Church, Senator Abraham, li. W.
Strong and Itev. .las. K. Hawkins.
Inside, from the regular corps of
steady carpenters. '
A busy scene presents itself at The
new building, which Is being prepared
to accommodate the public during the
revivals to be conducted by ICvangel
1st Heed the first, week In February.
1 When complete the building will
I have n seating capacity of 1 300 per
j sons and room for a choir of :Ki(i.
Humor and
Philosophy
Tty VfCAA M. SMITH
ANNUAL SPASMl
THE New Year' a resolution
Will shortly be on deck.
When man will sign a paper
To save htm from the wreck.
When he will gayly promise
His habits to amend
And all his small shortcomings
To Halifax to send. -
Then by his stubby whiskers
Most loudly he will swear
That -he will quit bis meanness
And soon a halo wear.
That he will cut out capers
That lead but to dlsgraco
And be from that time forward
A credit to the place.
With patent resolutions
He'll put away the past
And In the nery furnace
His awful habits cast.
To all things low and naughty
Securely tie a can.
Give doubtful chums the go-by
And henceforth be a man.
Tea, these are his Intentions j
And let us hope he may
Be able to fulilll them j 9
And mend his crooked way. ' '
We know that all the chances
For winning out are shy.
But that's no blooming reason
Why he should ceuae to try.
Mean Thing.
"If the mou would only listen to
their wives"
"They would do a great deal better,
wouldn't they?" (
"Well, that Isn't exactly whnt I was
going to say."
"Wasu't itr
"No."
"What were yon about to say?"
"I was about to Bay that if the men
would only listen to their wives they
would be compelled to apply for a pen
sion for the support of their families
us their time would be fully occupied
with holding their job of listening."
C. K. Kicker and wife returned to
Gardiner this morning after spending
a few days in the city, the former In
attendance at circuit, court and tne
latter visiting friendx.
YOUR FAMILY WASHING
DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT
IT IS CHEAPER-FAR EASIER
TO HAVE US DO THIS WORK FOR
YOU. THINK IT OVER.
ROSEBURG STEAM LAUNDRY
0. C. BAKER, Prop.
Jackson Street
ROSEBURG, ORE.
Our Itcprcnrntattvpe will rxileln oiu method. of hanillins" tfila work.
The mini who thinks pure thought
will be pure In mind and body.
Don't Scold Your Wife i
i
I If she stands half the forenoon talking i
with her neighbors over the back j
i fence. She is merely getting the news.
I Have the Home Paper sent to her i
' regularly and her hunger for news will j
be satisfied. Then she'll have dinner ;
j ready on time and your hunger will be
! satisfied.
Kt'ltStHtMF, FOU TIIF FVI'M Vti
KVS, lOI ,l,S OIWTV'H I.KAM
If NKWKIWI'hlt.
No Chance For Gossip.
"1 saw Brown kiss a married woman
last night."
"You did!"
"Fact." .
"Wonder what her husband will do
to him?"
"Treat him well, no doubt"
"What!"
"Yes. You Bee, Brown Is her hus
band." . y i
Made It Expensive.
"This house was to cost but 51.000.
"Yes." said the contractor blandly.
"But the bills are for f2,000."
"Well, your wife wns on the job all
nf the time and made us live up to
specillcatlons."
v
Naturally.
"The best Is none too good for mo."
"Is that so?"
"You bet!"
"Then 1 suppose you git a-plenty
while you are gittin'?"
i -j
Ready Fop En
gagement.' "Sea Is a big
gun among tils
suffragettes."
"I notice she
keeps her pow
der dry."
;?
t Protection.
"Can't you write plainer than that?"
"Sure."
"Why don't you, then?"
"My correspondents might get 0U to
my spelling."
.j-
An Expert. ) V
"Pa. what Is o broker? V .
"Ask your Uncle tieorge."
"Does he know '" "
"He ought to. liu went broke on
them."
Miss Ellen Gertrude. Har
ris, teacher of vocal mid pi
ano. Studio at Oak and
Kane sts, Care of Mrs. A. C
Marsters. 18
BUILDER
C. D. RAYNAUD
GENERAL BUILDING CONTRACTOR
At Your Service
Hosebnrg, Oregon Phone 19S
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
A good graft never likes to bo ex-
i posed to the idle gaze of the curious.
' It is a timid and shrinking thing, best
pleased when out of sight.
j The successful person Is the one who
can give a qui:k nnd correct guess as
to the especial brand of (lattery neces
sary to be used at the specific mo
j ment.
There Is absolutely no use in finding
1 fuult unless you know exactly what
j you are going to do to disposo of It
ifter you have found It.
Any one would be a curious Individ
ual if he were to do the things to de-
j vclop character that his . anxious
j friends are desirous of having him do.
j An optimistic man is one to whom
bis own cabbages look altogether as
beautiful, charming, fragrant and de
sirable as his neighbor's roues.
We hove lenrued a lot about people
and things w lien t we declino to givo
ndvlce, cither solicited or unsolicited.
Going to law is much moro thrilling
than coming away.' '
The Cup that Fills a Longtelt Want
Real Coffee Cocoa or Buillon
Fine On These Cold Evenings
The Rose Confectionery
T V nAtr A iff T w w v Ta aTTirtn va aff a a trw 4
LtUWA niLLo LvODLKCUflrAN I
Lumber, Lath, Shingles and Dry Finish Lumter
, Doors and Windows of all Kinds.
4 Verde on Lofter Oak Street,
tt 'Phone 14U
ROSEBURG- OREGON
' Fill Your House
E
with light houia 1b modem
without electric lights. Though we
can wire "any old" building, the
best work la when the house is being
constructed. We aro always ready
t to give an accurate estimate and to
guarantee the beat work.
G. L. PRIOR
315 N. (Taokaon St. Hamburg, Or
ROSEBURG BOOK STORE
Carries a full lino of School books and School
Supplies.
A big stock of Office supplies and Blank Books'
Drawing Material.
Typewriter Supplies. x '
Agent for Moore's Office Methods. '
Newspapers. . Magazines'.
Roseburg: Book Store
PERFUMES
1 ounce LAZELL'S "PERFECTUS" Violet In elegant Bilk
linod box. a.7B. ,
2 ounce LAZELL'S VIOLET ELECT In bandBomo pnckaKO
$!! 70
1 ounce LAZELL'S "PBRP13TUS" In beautiful package
2 ounce "LA.ELL'S" In silk lined box :l.75.
HUUNOT'S celebrated porfumeo In odora Ohrynla.
VIOLET EAN DH E8PAGNE, White Koao.lllollatropo. all lu
elegant paclutKea ic to $l.fiO.
IHIDNOT'S nnd LAZELL'S Toilet Water BOc to I.BO.
PERFUMES all odors In fancy Jnpnnese boxen 25c to BOc.
CHILDREN'S PERFUMES In all odors, attracllo ' oxos B5ci
SELECT nnd lino assortment of military brushes balr,
brushes, mirrors, safety razors and nianlcuro sets and single at
ROSEBURG PHARMACY, Inc.
f
A Good New Year's
Resolution
Trade at
THE
ROSEBURG ROCHDALE
STORE
Dry goods and groceries