THE DALLES WEEKLY CHRONICLE. SATURDAY. DECEMBER 17, 1898 The Weekly Ghfoniele. THJC UALLES. UKKUIIN OFFICIAL PAPER OP WASCO COUNTY. Published in two part, on Wednesday and Saturday. BDBSCEIPTION BATES. IT H A n FOSTAQS reHTALD, IK ADVAXCM. One year Six months . . ii ou 7S Three months. 60 Advertising rate reasonable, and made known "YdKaommunication. to "THE CHBON. ' ICLE," The Ualles, Oregon. LOCAL BUEVIT1K8. The nose is red, the lips are blue, The toes are tingling in the shoe. Von long to kick the idiot who Says, "Fine, clear, frosty morning!" Wednesday's Daily. Last night the freight which had been transferred from the Ioland Flyer ar rived in this city oyer the O. B. & N. line. License to marry was today granted to J. Richard Reese and Emma Janet Fisher of this city, and Edwin Burlin gameof this county ,and Sadie Surface of Clackamas county. Captain Lewis has chosen December 28th as the date on which to deliver his lecture on "Life in Libby Prieon." It will be given in tha .Congregational church. A good audience is assured. Mr. J. A. Walden, who filled I. H. Keffer's place as night operator at the depot during his absence in the east, will return and again accept the posi tion, while Mr. Keffer will leave Friday to act as agent of the Coiambia South ern at Moro. Great difficulty has been encountered in attempting to move the D. P. & A. N. wharf boat up to the harbor. It is now stationed but a short distance above its former position, and workmen are at tempting to place it where the ice jam will cause it to be beached instead of pushing it down the river. A very fair boose for a second night's performance g-eeted the "Dazzler" last night at tha Vogt.and the audience was equally as well pleased as that which at tended on the previous night. At the Baldwin a good sizad crowd listened to Mahara's Minstrels, which were not first-class, he opening chorus being the best part of the show. Columbia Chapter No. 33, Order of Eastern Star, elected the following officers at its meeting last night, the remainder to be appointed later: Emily Sanders, W. M.; C. W. Dietzel, W. P. ; Elmira Burget, Associate Matron; Virginia Marden, Secretary; , Salina Phirman, Conductress; Nettie Wood, Associate Conductress. Remember that Christmas induce ments are in store for you and that ev ery day is a bargain day when you pur chase your holiday present of the Jacob een Book & Music Co. All goods marked in plain figures. Poet yourself on prices elsewhere and our prices will convince you that we are asking thirty per cent less than any of our competitors. The weather moderated somewhat during the night, and this morning a slight sprinkling of snow covered the ground and acted as a sort of a pall over the spirits of the skaters. However not enough of the beautiful fell to spoil this favorate sport. Observer Pazue, whose weather eye is always peeled, be it warm or cold, predicts snow with a vengeance, saying that when it does start he fears it will not know when to stop. Mrs. Frank Forrester left for her home in Mitchell today, and expects to return in the course of two weeks and remain nntil her husband's trial. It has been a pathetic eight each day to wit--ness the wife and little boy standing at - the prieon bars couvereing with the prisoner. This morning she was allowed to bid him good bye, . the doors being unbarred. If only the guilty had to bear the consequences of crimes com mitted it would seem but justice ; but the innocent are of necessity compelled to suffer alike with the criminal. Colonel R. W .'Mitchell's life has been saved again. This time it was a collar button that saved it, and this 'is how it happened : Colonel Mitchell was a pas senger on tbe eastbound passenger train .that had a rear-end collision on the line o' the O. R. & N. Co., about eight miles east of Pendleton, Sunday morning. Mitchell 'was in a washroom just be fore the collision took plaoe, and the loss of bis co'llar-button was the occasion ot his leaving the washroom. When ' the crash came the washroom got the worst of it. Mitchell was safe in the middle of the car, thanking his stars that collar-buttons were so easily lost. Telegram. . Phypicjans are now somewhat puzzled - to determine jast what is the nature of the disease that is causing so much sick' ness at Athena and Adams. Tbe schools have been closed at both places, and . some of the physicians give it as their opinion that it is diphtheria. It resem bles that malady, being accompanied by core throat, and, in one case, death has resulted. : Perhaps, it is tonsiletia in tbe same form that lias visited this city, . which the physicians in Portland as well ". The Dall9, pronounce, as an. nnusnal type of tbe disease, and not to be gene rally expected. W. H. Bates, superintendent of the Marine Iron Works, of Chicago, arrived in this city this morning, His firm hav ing supplied the macLinery for the In land Flyer, he is here for the purpose of investigating the matter to ascertain, if possible, wherein the diffculty lies which canses her te fall short of what was expected of her, and to adjust any deficiency which may have arisen in fulfilling their part of the contract, if any there be. Tomorrow morning Gen. Agt. Allaway and Captain Sherman will accompany him to Stanley Rock, near Hood River, the Flyer having been brought over to this eide of the river. Thursday's Daily. P. Limeroth is a visitor in town today from Boyd. Get your skates sharpened at Charles Burchtorf's. 10-15 Miss Rose Bloch is a guest at the home of Mrs. D. M. French, Dr. Siddall left for Portland yesterday morning, to be absent a few days. F. W. Schmidt, who made a short trip to Portland, returned last evening. Mrs. H. W. French, lett this morning for a short visit with , her mother in Portland. Mr. Bernie Selleck, who spent yester day in the city, returned to his home in Boyd today. Mr. D. Waffle arrived in the city this morning and is visiting his sister, Mrs. W. H. Fowler. Tbe temperature has moderated great ly today and the report for tonight and tomorrow is fair. Dr. Frazier left on the early morning train to attend the State Dental Asso ciation at Portland. He will return Friday. Agent Allaway, Captain Sherman and W. H. Bates left this morning for Stan ley Point to look over the Inland Flyer. They will return tonight. J. W. Sherwood, supervising deputy of the Knights of Maccabees, is in the city today in the interest of the order. He attended the meeting here last night. ' The school report published today, shows that the average daily attendance has been reduced about foity by reason of. the prevalence of mumps. ine teachers say it Is a general occurrence at present for several pupils to be absent each day from this ailment. M. Z. Donnell is already beginning to receive Christmas presents, and the other day was presented by the Cyclone Camera Co. with a $40 camera. Mr. Donnell has been very successful in his sales of kodaks and cameras, which is greatly appreciated by his company. No entertainment was ever given in the city that was so thoroughly enjoyed as was Hi Henry's minstrels. Tbe first part is grand, and the latter makes the audience almost take the roof off of the house. Cripple Creek paper. Aad we are to hear this show Saturday night. It has just come to our notice that Mr. Michael Callaghan has purchased a res idence in The Dalles for the purpose of giving bis children a chance to attend school. Tbere was a time wheu we hoped Mr. Callaghan would buy a home in Dufur, but his choice, all things considered, was The Dalles. Dufur Dispatch. . .' A young man weighing about eight pounds called at' tbe residence of Mr. and Mrs. John Hertz this morning about 6:30 o'clock, and he likes the place, so be has decided to stay. He didn't say bis name was Dewey, nor Sampson, neither is it Bismarck, lor Mr. Hertz says even these names are not good enough for trim. . Tbe many pretty calendars which decorate The Cheosicle "parlors" and add to our gorgeous surroundings, peer ing out. from among the tapestry and banging from every column, remind ns that 1899 is at hand. Every year the designs of these monitors of time grow more beautiful and are calculated to ornament any room or office. The reception given to Mr. and Mrs. Richard Rees last evening at the home of Mr. and Mrs. M. Parkins was very en joyable. About fourteen guests were present who spent the hours in a happy way, congratulating the newly-married couple, engaging in pleasant conversa tion and listening to sweet music. A delicious wedding lunch was also served. The wife of a man named Moon, in Arkansas, presented him with a tine baby boy. This was a new Moon. The father celebrated the event by drinking himself full. This was the full moon. When he awoke from his drunken stuper ail be bad left in his pockets was 25 cents. This was the last quarter. His mother-in-law beat him over the bead with a club, thus giving him a total eclipse. '. ' A slight accident occurred to the steam shovel a . short distance, beyond La Grande last evening. Having been used in the mountains during tbe summer, tbe shovel was being . brought down, when an axle broke near one wheel, causing both of them to fall to the mid dle of the track and the car to' slide for quite a little distance. But about four hours were consumed in repairing the damage, and No. 4 was delayed about five hours. Oar ignorance as to the Btrictness of officers of the law caused ns to make a misstatement in regard to the parting of Mr. and Mrs. Forester yesterday. . Not taking into consideration that the law and justice demands that a murderer be kept in solitude as nearly as possible and that no visitor be allowed within tbe bars, we have frequently considered the officers cruel who would not permit the wife to enter the cell and converse with her husband. Yesterday upon bearing that Mrs. Forester had bidden her hns band good-bye, we naturally inferred that love was not the only one who un locked the bare, bdt that the jailer as sisted. In this we were mistaken, and thereiore apologize to Mr. Fitzgerald, who might be considered remiss in his duties, which accusation can never be applied to tbe present jailer. C. M. Finch, agent for the St. Louis Art Metal Co. and C. W. Hodeon, of the Irwin, Hodson Co., of Portland, are in tbe city today superintending tbe work of placing the steel furniture in the vault at tbe county court house. This vault will be tbe most substantial in tbe state of Oregon. The furniture being of steel, there will be positively no danger to records and valuable papers in case of fire. . It is certainly a move in the right direction, and one which has long been needed here. Tbe experience of other towns in Oregon, such as Roseburg and Dallas, which have recently lost re cords which were invaluable, by fire has .taught us a lesson and we are now profit ing by it. A letter received this morning by W. H.Butts from I.J. Norman, who re cently left for Roseburg, tells of his safe arrival at that place and of the im provement in his health. He also says that he, with his family, are much pleased with bis new home. Among other things Mr. Norman tells of an aa cident to Will Harper, who a few months ago left this city and took a po sition as mail carrier out from Rose but g. Last week one morning early his team ran away and dashing into a tree threw him out and cut his face terribly He was unconscious for four days; but Mr. Norman said when he went out to see him (nine miles from town) Fridav, he was improving and it was expected they would take him into the city soon. Friday's Daily. Miss Rose Bloch returned to her home in Portland this morning. G. A. Ward and Fred Ward are visitors from Wapinitia today. . Dufurites in the city today, are C. Heisler, Claud Heisler and Wm. Heisler. Miss Maie Enright came down from Wasco yesterday morning, and left for Portland today to remain a short time Mrs. K. Fueett, who has been em ployed in the Campbell & Wilson millinery parlors, leturned last night to her home in Pendleton. This morning A. Hellbnry, who is employed by Everding & Farrell in their salmon cannery, caught his right band in the cog wheel .of the machinery and badly mashed his thumb. He came to the city, where Dr. Holiister dressed the wound. This morning about 11 o'clock J. S. Fish, received a telegram which an nounccd that his mother was sinking very rapidly at her home in Lafavette. Mr. and Mrs. Fish left on a freight train at 11 :30 for Portland, but it is not likely they can arrive before dissolution takes place. Mrs. Fish is well known in The Dalles, having lived here for some time. The weather is much wanner today , and it seems hardly possible with the sun ebiuing so brightly, that tbe river running by ns is blocked with ice, and yet this morning it was solid enough to admit of a two-horse team and wagon passing over, white a short time after ward a band of hogs was driven over from the other side. Al Graham is en gaged today in shoveling a path so that he can bring over some freight tomor row on hand sleds, which is the way the mail is brought. Mrs. Christina Kirn, who died at the Good Samaritan hospital Tuesday was the wife of Fred Kirn who lost his life on Mt. Hood less than a year ago when attempting to reach the summit with out a guide. During the past three years the family, consisting of three members, have departed this life. Three years ago an onlv daughter, aged 18, was accidently shot, dying from the wound ; then the father, and now tbe mother pasees away, the latter meeting a more peaceful death. Tbe Columbia Southern railway has completed its road to Moro. The last epike was driven Wednesday amid tbe blowing of whistles and the ringing of bells, at 6:30 p. m. Tbe citizens who have been watching tbe rapid progress of the work under numerous trying cir cumstances, tbe worst of all being tbe cold weather and frozen ground, dnring tbe past ten days, could scarcely wait for the time when tbey could say with out doubt, "We have a railroad." Tbe men who so faithfully carried on the work, despite the inclement weather, were that evening treated to a royal spread at the city hotel, given by tbe railroad company. ; . A telephone message from Dufur this morning informs us that we were badly misinformed as to the marriage which was reported in yesterday's Chronicle as happening at Dafur Wednesday even ing. Having no suspicion as to the veracity of our informant and not being acquainted with tbe parties' referred to, no investigation was made. Thb Cheoniclk $s far from having any de sire to join in the "holy bonds" any who may not so desire, and regret very much that the mistake occurred. How ever, as even a newspaper is not au- thoiity on such subjects, the couple are not necessarily married. Certain it is, that anyone who would tamper with the truth in regard to so serious a matter, is capable of all kinds of villainy. Messrs. S. L. Brooks, Geo. Liebe, and Geoago W. Miller who went to Hood River yesterday for the pur pose of appraising tbe land adjacent to the river, preparatory to the building of the saw mill there, and other improve ments to be made by tbe Lost Lake Lumbering Company, were compelled to remain over until today, their work not being completed yesterday. If tbe plans formulated by the company are carried ont, they will make a great transformation at that - place, among which will be grading and practically removing tbe steep hill which must be climbed in reaching the town from the boat landing. A dispatch from Hood River says: "An informal reception was tendered Messrs'. P. S. Davidson, sr., and jr..' at tbe Mount Hood hotel Wednesday night, prior to their leaving for their home at La Crosse, Wis. It is their intention to arrange for the re moval of a saw mill at La Crosse to this place as soon as possible. R. C Jud son of the O. R. & N. Co., wus present. Tbe Davidsons are receiving tbe co operation of tbe citizens of Hood River in their effort to establish the mill here." ANOTHER GOOD PROGRAM. Good Attendance at the Fair Miss Bloch Slogs "Star Spangled Banner" Tonight's Program. A larger crowd than was present the night before attended the fair last even ing, and remarks were heard from every direction in regard to their surprise at finding the ball so comfortable; indeed it might have been considered by many as too warm. The program opened with an instru mental duet by tbe Misses Nickelsen, who at a late hour kindly consented to fill a place which was unavoidably vacated. They were more than well re ceived. Miss Bloch has fairly won The Dalles audiences not alone by her singing, but by her charming personality, which is wholly devoid of affectation. While every selection given by her was beauti ful in the extreme, enthusiasm reached its bounds when as her last encore she sang "St&r Spangled Banner." Tbe wealth of sweetness, power and wonder ful expression which her voice contains were shown to the best advantage in this selection which even under ordinary cir cumstances, stirs every American heart. Miss Bessie French's rendition of "That Old Sweetheart of Mine." was very taking, and seemed just euited to her sweet manner. However, her en core, of an entirely different nature, was equally as well given. The twelve little Indian girls, in costume, who came out and after going through a drill, sang an Indian song, seemed to capture tbe audience.' Indeed they wore perfect in their actions 'and could not have impersonated the klootch man in a better manner. Tonight will be the last night of the fair, when the following excellent pro gram will be given : Instrumental Duet Messrs. Benton and Long Scotch Song "When Yere Gang Awa, Jamie" -Geo. Weigel and Hilda Beck. Kegro Sketch ,...Wm. Crosseu Lantern Swinging Messrs. Van Korden, Campbell and Pruyne. Dutch Sketch ' .v Messrs. Hampshire and Clark, (Accompaniest A. W. Baldwin.) . When Jackson Says So, It Must be So. The East Oregonian says of Hi Henry's Minstrels: . It is an aggregation of talent, a com pany of artists, a combination of clever people. There . were only cultivated voices. . There were none but really funny ccmedians. There wa9 originality in the arrangement of the program, which was brimful of first-class work from the rise of the curtain to the drop at the end of the cleverest contortionist turn ever seen here. Were one to mention the features wortLv of special ' commendation, it would be to po through tbe entire en tertainment and compliment every member of the com pan v from Hi Henry, the master spi'it of it all, to the last one of the chorus singers. The orchestra of 15 pieces was well nigh perfect, from a musical stand point, magnificent. . Hi Henry's talent for looking after details in the execution of his own broad guage plans appear at every turn. Tbe per formance moved as smoothly as a finely adjueted chronometer. BUSINESS . LOCALS. Use Clarke & Falks Rosofoam for the teeth. tf Use Clarke & Falk's Floral Lotihe for sunburn and wind chafing. tf Use Clarke & Falk's Quinine Hair Tonic for dandroff and falling hair. tf You need have no boils if you will take Clarke & Falk's sure cure for boils. Aek your grocer for Clarke & Falk's pure concentrated flavoring extracts, tf Furnished rooms to rent. Steam heat and electric lwbts." Apply to Max Vogt & Co. Chapman block. .Constipation prevents the body from ridding itself of waste matter. De Witt's Little Early Risers will remove the trouble and cure Sick Headache, Bili ousness, Inactive Liver and clear the Complexion. Small, sugar coated, don't gripe or cause nausea. Snipes-Kinerely Drug Co. ARRESTED FOR FORGERY. Wm. Jaeger Forges s Check for SI 35 and la Taken Up. Saturday morning a man called at the D. P. & A. N. office and purporting to he a marine engineer, engaged in conversa tion with Agent Allaway, who among other things informed him that he was expecting Mr. Bates, superintendent of the Chicago Iron Works, and that he would arrive Tuesday morning. Aside from a short conversation nothing fur ther passed between them, and Mr. Allaway heard nothing more of his visitor nntil last evening, when tbe bartender at Fonts ecJobnnesen's called him up over the 'phone and inquired if he held a check on French Co. payable to Wm. Jaeger. Upon being answered in tbe negative, investigation was at once made, which developed the follow ing facts : Monday morning Jaeger entered the saloon, and after informing them he was the agent for the Chicago Iron Works who had come bere to examine tbe In land Flyer, he presented a check for $135 on French & Co. signed by W. C. Alla way, and received $45 on it. He left the check with them ; but yesterday morn ing called again and explaining that the number was wrong and that Mr. Alla way desired to correct it, was banded the check. Jt seems that after banking hours yesterday afternoon he appeared at the brewery and showing the check to Mr. Buchler said that he was in need of money and as it was too late to get into tbe bank he aeked for $10. Suspect ing nothing, tbe money was given him. Later in the day, being under the in fluence of liquor, he missed the evening train, which he evidently expected to take and escape; and in the evening again Bhowed up at Fonts' saloon, where he was questioned in regard to the check. Making some answer about it being in Allaway's hands, the bartender, becom ing snspiciou,at once called him up and finding that something was radically wrong they at once sent for Marshal Laner, who arrested him. This morning a complaint was sworn charging him with uttering a forged writing, and his case came up be fore Recorder Gates at 2 o'clock this afternoon, when he was bound over in the sum of $'250 to appear before tbe grand jury. A. A. Jayne appeared for the state and Sam. E. Van Vactor for the defendant. It is understood he failed to secure bondsmen. THE FAIR LAST NIGHT. Hill Bloch, the Center of Attraction, , Delights Everyone. The Vogt opera house preeented a very pretty appearance last night, tbe different booths being very artistically arranged, the daintiest perhaps were the crepe paper, flower, doll and candy booths. Besides these are tbe fancy articles, the domestic booth, cooking depot, refreshment stand and fish pond In the left hand corner is "The Old Curiosity Shop," which contains any amount of interesting curios dating back for over a hundred years, and is pre sided over by Mrs. Collins and Mrs. McCuen. ' On tbe right as you enter is the gypsy tent, surrounded by fir trees. Here re sides tbe gypsy who has made palmistry a special study, and was said last night to be an adept in delineating character and giving pointers as to your future. A large crowd attended last evening, eager to bear Miss Bloch sing, for Dalles people who Ijave already listened to her in Portland were as anxious to bear her again as were those who have never had the opportunity. She posesses a very attractive personality, and her beauty alone would demand tbe attention of the audieuce ; but what a voice. No singer in the Yogt has ever so successfully made it vibrate with musical sound. While her selections were perhaps more classic, and charmed everyone, the en cores were just as pleasing from the fact that tbey were simpler and adapted to the tastes of everyone in the house. She was ably accompanied by Miss Alma Schmidt. Tonight Miss Bloch will sing "Star Spangled Banner," for the rendi tion of which she has become so famous in Portland. Tbe program opened with an instru mental duet by the Misses Nickelsen, which was a catchy selection and well. received... The lantern swinging by Messrs. Van Norden, Campbell and Pruyne, so much enjoyed at the club minstrels last year, was repealed last evening and received applause after applause, until tbey were compelled to respond to an encore. By request they will again favor the audience tomorrow evening.. Tbe fair is a suceess. . . V ' Catholic Knights of America. The state council of tbe Catholic Knihts of America convened in the hall of St. Peters' branch in this city last evening. Beside abont twenty-five mem bers from this city, tbe following dele gates were present: Kev. A. Bronegeest, spiritual director, The Dalles; M. Zan, president, Portland; E. Hanafin, vice president, Oregon City ; F. Nesser, secre tary, Portland : M. T. Nolan, treasurer, The Dalles; E. G. Sharratt, Portland; P. J. Boiler, Eugene; M. J. Hammel- gard, Oregon City; M. Mclnnis, The Dalles. A very eojvyable meeting was held, speeches of welcome being made and reiponded to eloquently by visitors. The business council was also beneficiat and interesting. This Is also an insur ance organization, having a sinking fund at present of $400,000, making it a very substantial one in which to insure. New state officers were elected last night hs follows: B. Orth,' spiritual director; M. Zan, president; M. Boiler, vice president; E. G. Sharratt, secre tary; M. T. Nolan, treasurer. F. Dresser was elected a delegate to the supreme council, which meets in Kansas City next June. The meeting being adjourned, all pro ceeded to Keller's oyster parlors, where a grand banquet was served and greatly enjoyed by all, the toasts and speeches being unusually brilliant. Kees-Flsher Wedding. This afternoon at 4 o'clock, at tbe residence of the' bride, on Thirteenth street, Mr. J. Richard Rees and Miss Emma Janet Fisher were united in. marriage by Rev. Poling. Mr. H. D. Parkins acted as best man, in which office he has become proficient, this be ing the third time he has filled a like Rosition. MisB Cora Joles was brides maid. .This evening at the home of Mr. and Mrs. M. Parkins a reception will be tendered tbe bride and groom, who hav ing rented a portion of the Parkin', residence, will begin housekeeping at once. Mr. Rees has been in the employ of Mr. Parkins for the nast vear. having come to this city a year and a half ago. He is known by all to be a young man with the best of habits and thoroughly reliable. The Chbonicle, which is a good position to judge of the meriis of the bride, she having been an employee of this office nntil recently, congratulates the groom on his excellent choice of a wife. Of a good disposition and admir able in every particular, she will no doubt make an excellent companion. Our best wishes attend them. An Evening ot JBnjoyment. Hi Henry's Big Minstrel Company arrive Saturday, December 17tb, and exhibit at Vogt's opera house in the evening. This is one of the largest in the country, numbering .fifty white per formers and are recommended as the best ever seen in Sail Lake City, where they were re-engaged for the second week after the first performance, play ing fourteen performances to tremend ous houses. They go direct from here to Marquam Grand, Portland, then to San Francisco. Everybody should turn out, as you are guaranteed a first class attraction. Dalles Public Schools. Following is the report for the quar ter (5 weeks) ending Friday Dec. 9, '98 TEACHERS. East Bill Primani: Miss Nan Cooper 1 and 2 Mrs. Koche 3, 4 and 5 Court Street. Miss Douthit... 1st 43 40 4 4fl 3 Miss E Cooper 2U Miss Roberts 3d, Miss Wreun 4thi Academy Parft. SOI 8 MissThrrinau lsU Miss Flinn 2B-3H Miss Mnrtin 4B-5B MibsBall ....6th Htah School. Mrs.Baldwin B Miss U Rintonl 6A-7 Miss T. Rlntoul 7tb Miss Michell 8tb . S. Depart em, Miss Hill Mr. Landers -Ih, S3 1 78 7 Totals 12)748i706 60 Number of days of school, 18. Per cent of attendance on number be longing, 94. Total enrollment gain over previous quarter 29; gain ever similar quarter in '97-73. .Total average daily attendance Loss from previous quarter 18 ; gain over similar quarter in 97 40. WISE AND OTHERWISE. - Money, like' men, is locked np when t is tight. Peter banes out a green light to the eelf-coufident. Tbere is no reduction of "tbe wages of sin" in hard times. No man knows how much' be is capa ble of until he isn't in love. A woman's idea of religion is to have kindly tbobghts of her rival.- Sme men are so stingy that they re fuse to' use bait when they fish. No man was ever convinced against his will and no woman was eyer con vinced at all. Bob And so they agreed to marry at last? John Yes; and it was the last thing tbey agreed on. The people who insist most violently on their abilitv to paddle their own canoe, usually have to borrow tbe canoe. He One doesn't look to a plumber to mend a broken heart. She I don't know.' They eay plumbers are often wealthy. "Where was Magna Cbarta signed?" asked a teacher in a board school. "Please, sir, at the bottom," replied tbe dunce of the echool. "What did you do at Sunday school T" said mamma to little Bessie, who had attended for tbe first time. . ','They asked questions out of tbe pussy-book," replied Bessie. "The pussie-book?' aeked mamma, vastly puzzled." I think she must mean the catechism," added Mabel, who is several years older. Judge.