The Weekly Chronicle
NOTICE.
All eastern foreign advertisers are
inferred to our representative, Mr.
Katz, 230-234 Temple Court, New York
City. .Eastern advertising must De con
tracted through him.
STATE OFFICIALS.
ejvernoi.. W. P. Lord
arretHrv nf state EB Kincaid
Treasurer Phillip Metschan
Bupt. of Puhllo Instruction u. M. nwin
A ttnrnev. Oeneral C. M. Idleman
' (G. W. McBride
EHfliabuni ...
f J. H. Mitchell
Congressmen..
Btate Printer. .
IB' Hermann
IW. R. ElUs
.,..W. II. Leeds
COUNTY OFFICIALS.
rnmrtr J nil ere. Robt. Mars
Hheriff. T. J. Driver
Clerk A M. Kelsay
Treasurer C. L. Phillips
, . I A. s. mowers
wiuiiuuuuucii )D. 8. Kimsey
lu.nr ' W. II. WhiDDl
Surveyor ;. . .: -J. B. (ioit
Superintendent ot Public Schools. . .C. L. Gilbert
Coroner " Juks
i ...
THE FOOL SENATE.
The United States senate Las been
amusing itse.'f by monkeying with
new immigration law. It is pre
vided in the new bill that no tor
eigner over sixteen years of age wi!
be allowed to come to this country
to remain unless be can read five
lines of the constitution of the United
States in some language. It is fur
ther proyided that after the aforesaid
person comes, proves his ability to
read the five lines of the constitution
translated into a foreign language
' and so becomes one of us, he may
then send for his parents, children
brothers or sisters; dependent on
him, and these may land without any
educational test.
A man with intellect enough to
keep out of the Banyan hospital for
sick insects would know better than
to draft such a bill, or to waste the
time of the senate in considering it.
Any family with one member smart
enough to read and write could come
and so that law to prohibit or con
trol immigration would do neither,
The question of immigration is at
tracting cousidcrablc attention, and
like all other questions, has two sides,
If it should be stopped, then a law
should be framed stopping it: but
such bills as the one alluded to are
simply the vaporings of a befuddled
intellect of very small bore. Its
author was trving to please the parti
sans on either side of the question
an J, like an ostrich with its head in
the sand, thought he had very
smoothly fooled both.
The United States senate is rapidly
convincing the people that the selec
tion of railroad altornej-s, presidents
of corporations and political Jekyll
Hyde monstrosities, must result in a
change of base, either by doing away
with the two-headed political calves,
bearded women and living skeletons,
or by the election of another class of
men directly by the people. The
mental vacuums now in the senate
are not brainy enough to "fool part
of the people part of the time."
PENSION LAWS.
There is no higher evidence of the
gratefulness cf republics than the
pension list of the United States
with nearly a million pensioners,
drawing an average of $150 each.
That there are many persons draw
ing pensions who should not be, is
undoubtedly true, but this will hap,
pen in spite of the closest vigilance.
The list is great enough, however,
as it is, and congress will do well to
call a halt in pension legislation, in
stead of branching oat.
"We believe in pensions worthily
bestowed, but not otherwise ; but we
do not believe m pensioning all the
relatives of an ex -soldier's mother-in-law.
Neither do we believe in pen
sioning women not born until after
the war simply because they married
a veteran after it was over. We do
not believe it required, or requires, a
cbromo to go with an old soldier
who marries, the chromo being in
the shape of a possible future pension
to the widow. The woman who got
a soldier for a husband after the late
war, in most cases got a good man,
and one of whom she might well be
proud. It is quite possible that
children yet unborn, if girls, may yet
become pensioners as widows of
some veteran of the late war.
And yet congress proposes to ex
tend the list and add to the vast sum
annually expended. ', Is should think j
not twice, but once only, before
doing it, and then not do it.
The Associated Press is getting
utterly and thoroughly unreliable.
There is" no lonsrer anything in the
dispatches that can be relied upon
as being true, and it is time that a
reform take nlace. or some other
news gathering corporation be or
ganized. We realize how difficult it
is, how impossible it is, to get at the
exact truth in many things. We un
derstand that in the rush of news-
gathering some mistakes are neces
sarily made, and that to be accurate
in all cases is impossible. Inaccu
racy in a certain class of news, is to
be expected, but while the public
expects this and willingly overlooks
it, it does not expect that the truth
should be ignored intentionally and
the faked tin stories that would not
.deseive a three-weeks old Papuan
furnished it instead. The association
should instruct its news-gleaners to
stop telegraphing eyery rotten rumor
that is told them and dressing it up
as truth.
If the next legislature is as eco
nomical as the people seem to desire
it to be, there will he but few clerks
and when it adjourns there will be
no more commissioners left. The
railroad commission will probably be
the first to go, and it is possible the
term of the supreme court at Pendle
ton may be discontinued. It was
only established there by the legisla
ture to dodge the requirements of
the constitution and pay the supreme
judges $1,500 per year more than the
salary allowed them under the con
stitution. The decision of the su
preme court that all state institutions
must be located at Salem may possi
bly apply to the supreme court.
Only three more days in which to
decide upon just what to swear off
on. it is one oi the features or tne
season that something must De
sworn off, and soon after sworn on
again, ine cm pipe mat nas cione
such yeoman service will be laid away
for two or three days, or perhaps a
week, but it need not flatter itself
that it is to retire from business. Its
wreaths of smoke will soon be seen
again, ana the tvamsonian iragrance
of its bowl will perfume the air long
before the cherry blooms get their
work in. Its the same way with
other things, for good resolutions are
easy to make, and much more easy
to break.
Rivera seems to be a worthy suc
cessor to Maceo, his hrst engage
ment with the Spaniards resulting in
decisive victory. From present
indications the war will be prolonged
ndefinilely, or at least until Spain
exhausts her resources, or this coun
try intervenes. Spain, it 'is said,
will offer a settlement on the basis of
giving Cuba autonomy, allowing her
to elect her own congress, Spain still
appointing the captain general. This
offer a year ago might have been ac
cepted, but it Is not likely it will
meet with favor among Cubans now.
With them it is all or nothing.
A description of Christmas at
Bethlehem, going the rounds of the
country papers, contains a very sug
gestive suggestion. It states that a
regiment of Turks are on guard dur
ing the Christmas festivities to keep
the different sects from fighting over
and trying to apptopriate the sacred
relics kept there. It seems rather
paradoxical to think of Turks guard
ing the birthplace of the Savior to
prevent Christians ravaging it, but
such is the fanaticism of sect thai the
guard is probably necessary.
It is really too bad that such open
weather as we are having is being
allowed to pass by without a dia
mond drill being on its way down to
our coal beds. Let us get a move
on and see what can be found.
With The. Dalles at the head of nav-
i gat ion, and with a good vein or
two of coal, n; city on the coast
would compare with her. She is
way yonder ahead of most ot them
now, but with good coal mines she
would be "out of sight."
The people of some parts of New
Jersey, as well as those of the United
States, . are ardent Cuban sympa
thizers, and recently Weyler was
hanged in effigy.
ANOTHER ALAMO.
Texans have made another Alamo,
and in the cause of freedom. On
the unhaDDV soil of Cuba fifteen
brave fellows have poured out theii
life blood, a libation on the altars of
liberty. Hopeless of succor, they
unflinchingly faced a- myriad foe,
and one bv one fell at the post of
duty. Called upon to surrender,
they sent back the grim reply, "We
remember Maceo," and prepared . to
die as brave men die. One by one
they fell, yet there were no trembl
ing hands, no dimmed eyes, no quak
ing hearts in that little heroic band.
At last but two remained. Wound
ed,' bleeding, parched with thirst,
their indomnitable spirits exulted in
death, and with the cry "Vive Cuba
Libre," they fell beneath the hacking
knives of the accursed Spanish sol
diery. . .
The world over, heroic deeds send
the blood tingling thioilgh artery
and vein, and mingling with sorrow
for the untimely death of those brave
fellows who fell in the cause of hu
man freedom, is a thrill of pride
that Americans have not yet forgot
ten how to die. ihe pages ot his
tory are emblazoned with heroic
deeds, and for centuries the story of
Leonidas and his immortal band has
furnished a theme for historian, poet
orator and oaiater. That one field
where fell all but two has been
pointed to as the greatest of all bat
ties. It remained for Davy Crockett
and his band of Texans to furnish,
at the Alamo, a second Thermopylae,
where Death held carnival, but Fear
entered not. The Spartans fell re
sistinar the Persians, and in the de
fense of their liberty, their homes.
their country their all. No greater
motive ever moved the hearts of
men. Yet, at the Alamo, the brave
Texans died on the heaps of dead
that they had made, to free them
selves from the rule of the descend
ants of Spain. The', too, fought for
liberty for themselves, to acquire
freedom for their children, and to
shake off the yoke of the oppressor,
They, too, were moved by the pow
erful motives of self-interest. It re
mained for Texas to furnish the
third example, and the most striking
of the lot, for in this latter case no
selfish motives entered in. Their
homes were not invaded, their liber
ties not to be won. Moved only by
that sympathy which makes men al
most divine, they risked their lives
that others might be free, and nt the
call of the oppressed ffave all that
man can give their lives for the
sacred cause. JNo more precious
eift was ever made at the shrine of
Liberty than the fifteen brave lives,
sacrificed so gloriously that Cuba
might be free.
It may be that no monument of
stone shall mark the spot where these
men fell, for national gratitude is a
rare trait, but the pages of history
for all time to come will contain
their story, which shall stand side by
side with those of Thermopylae and
the Alamo.
Texas may well feel proud of her
sons, for of the three great examples
of men fighting to the last, Texas
has furnished two, the balance of the
world, one.
The ambassadors of the European
governments have met and agreed
upon reforms in Turkey which they
have submitted to the sultan. It
seems that copper-colored accident
is not satisfied with the arrangements
and refuses to listen to them He
rises to the heroics, and with the
pride engendered by the uncorrupted
blood of a long line of murderous
and licentious ancestors, he dramat
ically said, "I may be the last of the
Caliphs, but I will never be a second
Khedive." It might be better for
Abdul Ham id to con a few of our
homely English proverbs. "Half a
loaf is better than no bread" might
do tor a kindergarten example, and
along with this the story of the farmer
who threw grass, clods and then
stones at the boy in his apple tree.
He might learn from these ancient
stories that it were better to come
down gracefully and cheerfully while
he may do so without seeming com
pulsion.
General Weyler says that "when
the Cubans begin to come in and
surrender in large crowds, then the
balance will soon come in and sur-
render all at once. it the cap
tain general had not given so much
publicity to the fact that surrender
meant torture and. murder, he might
have done something with the non
combatants- Most people, though
would as soon take their' chance of
being hanged as to surrender and be
burned.
Miamania county possesses some
very valuable mines, or at least the
people down at Stevenson think so,
There was quite an excitement last
fall over the discovery of gold-bear
ing quartz, an excitement that has
not died out yet, lint which contin
ues in spite of snow, rain and cold
We hope our friends down that way
will not be disappointed, but we must
confess to a lack of faith in Cascade
mountain quartz claims.
There is an epidemic of buglary in
Portland, said epidemic commencing
about the time the gang had burgled
its way across thefjstate from Cali
fornia. It is not probable the bold
gang will go around Eastern Oregon
it being much more probable it will
go through it. In time of peace
prepare for war, and in times like
these prepare for a visit from the
bold burglar.
The commander of one of Uncle
Sam's warships is credited with the
following declaration : "If the United
States government will give me per
mission to turn loose on Havana,
there won't be anything but Spanish
spoken in hell in the next two
months.
We suggest that Secretary Olney
and the senate light it out in San
Francisco, with Earp as referee. The
decision might not be correct, but it
would stop the everlasting yawp.
The bar has been removed from
the capitol building at Washington,
and now our senators and congress
men may be able to pass in and out
without either pilot or tug.
HOW CHILDREN ARE SPOILED.
Tlie Young Mother Fosters ITffly Traits by
Injudicious Management -The
dangers that cluster about the
untried feet of the young mother begin
from the very first dawning of her
babe's intelligence. Long before she
drecms of his knowing anything or re
ceiving mental impressions, the seeds
are sowing for good or ill in his char
acter. I have watched the growth of
weeds that, with the lightest touch,
usight have been flipped away from the
louder soil, but time passed by and the
intruder flourished apace. Get control
of you.r child during the first three
years and you are sure of him. If the
habit of obedience and deference is
fi rmly rooted then he will never fail yon
iu after years when he has slipped the
apron leash.
The trouble is too often with the
parents. The mother herself fosters
uglj' traits by injudicious management.
II cr baby refuses to kiss her. She makes
believe to cry about it and thus gives a
lesson that will soon have him crying
for what he wants. He bumps his head
and she whips the door or whatever it
was that hurt him, thus teaching him to
be combative and spiteful. What is it
that makes nearly all children liars and
many of them thieves? Ihey are
trained to be so by the unconscious fin
gers that point the way. The mother
promises anything, everything to keep
peace and avoid a combat with the
little creature, who even now is beyond
her control. She does not fulfill these
promises and the child becomes her
judge. Never tell a lie to a child, or in
any way deceive him, if you would hope
to get the proper influence. Do not rob
him of the happiness of supreme trust
in you. It will cling to him through life.
Ladies' Home Companion.
Asked Too Much.
Is it true that your engagement is
broken?"
The beautiful girl inclined her head
slightly and acted as if she considered
the subject a particularly painful one.
"He must have done something ter
rible," persisted the .best friend. "I
never knew of anyone more devoted
than you."
"We could have been happy if it were
not for his intolerant spirit," answered
the beautiful girl. "I gave in to him on
every point that I could and still retain
my independence, but when he insisted
that I should give up my bicycle and
ride the make he favored it. was too
much." Chicago Post.
Tne War to Advance.
The following new story is told of
the late Lord AropthUl. When he was
a junior clerk in the foreign office. Lord
Palmerston, then foreign secretary, in
troduced an innovation ' whereby in
stead of being solemnly summoned by
a verbal message the clerks were ex
pected to answer his bell. Some haugh
ty spirits, rebelled against being trearted
like footmen and tried to organize re-
. sistanoe, but Odo Russell, as he then
was, refused to join the rebellious move
ment, saying that whatever method ap
prised him most quickly of Lord
Palmerstotu's wishes was the method
which he preferred. The aggrieved
clerks regarded him as a traitor to his
order, but he died an ambassador.
ELKS GATHER IN A HERD.
And
Hat a Carnival of
Frolic ana Fan.
Festivity,
Cascade Lodge, B. P. O. E.f No. 303,
met in their hall Saturday night in
social session, with W. L. Bradshaw act
ing as chairman. About forty of the
antlered frateroitv were present, accom
panied by about the same number of
ladies. '
When Chairman Bradshaw called
time, the fan commenced, grew, waxed
fat, fast and furious." The Dalles orches
tra was present and discoursed some its
sweetest music during the evening. At
the request of the chairman, J. S. Fish,
C. L. Phillips and J. Hampshire sang
the opening ode, and were promptly
fined $3 a piece, for having the temerity
to offer to sing before ladies, when they
all knew they couldn't, thus bringing
disgrace on the order. The lecture was
free, going with the fine. Then Mr.
John Hampshire was called upon for a
eolo, which he gave in hia beet voice,
and hit best is good enough for anybody,
The chairman, however, waB looking
closely after the lodge's reputation, and
lectured him warmly "for deceiving th
lodge with the 6tory that he could sing
and then getting up and exDosinor his
lack of voice, ignorance of time, and
enormously uncultured ears." The fine
in' his case was $3. E. Jacobsen,
Fait, T. J. Driver, Ted Seufert and Mr
Ferguson were fined $2.50 each for com
ing in late, and this was no sooner paid
than John Hertz was crlled to the front
and after listening to the chairman ex
patiate on the enormity of his offense in
getting married without consent of the
lodge, he was fined $15. On his making
a eolemn promise not to do it again, the
chairman very generously allowed him
to make it in two payments, both at
once. Ihen the chairman's eagle eve
fell on Dr. Siddall and he was invited to
the center and fined $10 for not bringing
a lady with him. The doctor kicked and
had his fine promptly raised to $12,
Judge Blakeley was fined $3 for putting
up hair tonic that produced bald heads
W. H. Wilson was called upon for a
story, and as he refused was fined J3
the chairman stating that his discretion
saved him $3, for he would have been
fined $6 if be had tried to tell one,
J. B. Crossen was fined $2.76 for being a
grandfather, and J. A. Crossen, who
tried to dodge the chairman's glance,
got it for $2.50 for hiding behind bis
wife. Tom Kelley received earnest
commendation for bis neat appearance
nicely blacked shoe9, immaculate ties.
etc., and just when be began to smile at
his easy escape, the chairman froze his
mirth with a fine of $5 for showing him
self in the presence of ladies with the
top of his head bare. A. S. Mac AUister
received a genuine roast for bringing his
own wife, thus setting a fearful example
to the brethren, and was fined $5.
Grant Mays was called up. "Brother
Mays," said the chairman, "it becomes
my painful duty to caution you, to warn
you, and to condemn. You fancy you
are a ladies man ! You spend your time
before the mirror admiring yourself!
toil are too particular about your
clothes, and the cut of your hair and
smile! I am disposed to fine you the
full limit, and you can walk up to the
office and pay 5 cents. Grant remarked
in a whisper that be was $2.45 ahead, as
be borrowed the monev from his
mother, but the ears of the chairman
were keen, and $2.50 was added to the
fine. H. H. Biddell was fined for hav
ing a bad memory, he being accused of
inviting three young ladies and forget
ting to bring any. Dr. Logan was fined
$2.50 for coming alone, and W. A. John
eon had to pungle $9 for holding tbe
baby, and thus depriving his wife of her
inalienable rights. Max Vogt, Jr., had
to settle up for "being too long on
earth," and Julias Wiley, for arresting
one of Herbring's dummies. T. J
Driver was nned. $11 for saying yes
when asked if he could sing the dox-
ology, and Dr. Fraser was fined the
same amount for singing that same
hymn to the tune of Annie Laurie,
Harry Lonsdale recited a poem and re
ceived a roast "for imposing a lot of
rotten doggerel on intelligent people,
and for trying to recite anything at all
in public ; fine, $8. Dr. Sturdevant was
charged $10 for having to be coaxed to
come. A. M. Kelsay paid $5 for being
too diligent in attending to the sick,
and everybody that wiggled enough to
catch the chairman's eye, got a lecture
and a fine. The address of welcome was
delivered by Exalted Baler Micbell,
who left nothing to be said. As tbe
fines went flying right and left, tbe au
dience entered into the spirit of the
thing and were convulsed with laugh
ter. , ,
Dancing was next in order and was
thoroughly enjoyed, the great and taking
feature being a quadrille a-la-stag par
ticipated In by eight gentlemen, most of
whom knew nothing about dancing.
" Shortly after 11 o'clock the big Uma
tilla house 'bus was brought into requi
sition, and in two trips the ladies were
all taken to the Umatilla bouse, where,
under the direction of Steward Wilson,
as fine a supper was Bpread as ever
graced a festive board in Oregon. Chair
man Bradshaw acted as toast master,
and after the good things on the table
bad been attended to, Exalted Baler
Michell responded to the toast, Cascade
Lodge, No. 303," in a brief but scholarly
address. "The B. P. O. E.," was re-
8 ponded to by Bert Phelps, in a manner j
ibat won hearty and prolonged applause.
J. A. Donthit spoke feelingly in response
to "Our Absent Brothers," and H. H.
Riddel! made an eloquent response to
"The Dalles." "Our Dears" brought
W. H. Wilson to his feet, and his ad
dress showed a thorough understanding
of the subject. The speech of the even
ing was that of T. J. Driver in response
to the toast "Minneapolis in 1897." We
regret we have not space for this gem in
its entirety, but cannot forbear a quota
tion or two. Minneapolis," said the elo
quent speaker, "Minneapolis, what a
theme for poet, what a dream for the
painterl Minnie an apple is I Aye!
More Mr. Chairman, she is a peach, a
velvet robed, crimson tinted Crawford's
early, blushing beneath the kisses of tbe
summer sun. Soft as the touch of a
mother's lip upon the brow of her
slumbering babe; luscious as the heart
of a watermelon, with the rounded iull-
ness of a Cleopatra and the languorous
sweetness of a Gulbeyez. Her teeth are
as the ivory keys of a rosewood piano,
iter eyes two petincia pools 01 aew
gathered in the enow-white chalices of
twin lilies. Her nose pink and white,
tip-tilted and cute as those of a whole
litter of cbester-wbite piglets. Her
hands are supple and straight, and she
lifts ber drooping lashes, only to blush
iu a royal flush. Her hair is as the
spun gold of Ophir. Her neck is a
column of marble, set on a drift of
snow, and ber feet are as white mice at
play. She is altogether lovely, all wool,
and warranted not to shrink: :n tbe
wash. She would lure an anchorite
from the single blessedness ideas of St.
Paul." In conclusion he said, "Where,
my friends, can you 6nd aught so beau
tiful?" Hear I Hear! yelled the de
lighted Elks, 'and" casting his eyes
a-down the tables, the speaker closed
his speech by saying, "Yes! here my
friends, and here only." And then the
only reason the roof did not come off
was because the ceiling was in the
way.
A few minutes after midnight the
party broke up, and it is safe to say that
no entertainment ever given in The
Dalies, left such vivid and such pleasant
memories as those which will last for
life, of the social meeting of the Elks
Saturday night.
CATARRM
local'd'isease
and is the result ot colds and
sudden climatic changes.
For your Protection
we positively state that this
remedy does not contain
mercury or any other injur
ious drug.
Ely's Cream Balm
Is acknowledged to be the most thorough cure for
Kauil Catarrh, Cold in Head and Hay Fever of all
remedies. It opens and cleanses the nasal passages,
allays pain am
a inn
inflammation, heals the sores, pro-
of tnste and smell. Price 50c. at Druggists or by mail.
tccts mi
e membrane from colds, restores the senses
ELY BitOTHEBS. 66 Warren Street. New York.
OPERA
HOUSE
ONE NIGHT ONLY.
PRODUC
TION. COOK TWIN SISTERS.
Magnificent Scenic Production of
the
Original Dramatization oi Mrs.
Stowe's Immortal Novel,
Uncle
Tom's
Cabin
40 People, a Palace Car,
20 Ponies, Uonfceys ana curros,
8 Original Jubilee Singers.
A Pack of Man-eating 'Siberian Bloodhounds.
including Aiax, tne5,000 champion beauty.
Eva's ttolden unanoi, cosuug (-vmi.
Uncle Tom nd bis Typical Southern Ox-Cart.
A Band of Music.
AU this In our Grand Free Street Display. The
sight of a LUeUme. Don't miss it. .
Admission, Children.. 25c
Adults 50c
KathfntT prfm for rmprvl ntr haa. vhlrh am
now oa sale at Snipes-Kineniy'i store.
VOGT
TPPflY, JEGEJMR 31.
$2010