THE TIMES
THE TIMES
hobo,” and said that the only reason Christ did not beat his way on a |
OEALING IN STOCKS.
box ear was because there weren’t any box cars in those days, so he
Know W h it You Aro Buying Beforo
beat his way by stealing a donkey. He intimated that if the city !
Published every Saturday by T IIE TIM E S COMPANY, Incorporated
Investing Your Monty.
at 212 First Street, Portland, Oregon. Phones: Main 5637; A-26S6.
officials did not look out they (the Socialists) would take what they I
We hear o f fortunes quickly made
TH E TIM E S is not responsible for any opinions expressed by correspondents want. The trouble with short-eared asses like this is that they merely I
Jfive evidence o f an unbalanced mind. I f they would take out their | They Were Tots of Schoolboys, in Wall street, of miners who have
appearing in its columns.
accumulated enormous wealth by a
frothings on themselves it wouldn’t hurt any. but they are liable to
Entered in Postoftice at Portland. Oregon, as aerond-claaa matter.
lucky strike, o f Inventions that have
Some Not In Their Teens.
incite others to make trouble. Persons o f the Lewis class are to be
made Inventors rich
But how many
A FEARLESS E X PO N E N T OF IN D U S T R IA L PEACE
pitied, rather than condemned. They require treatment in a sanita
o f these Instances are there? Just a
rium where others who are criminally insane are incarcerated. They
few. while countless thousands and
TOO YOUNG TO WEAR SWORDS hundreds
8URSCRIPTION RATES— $:!.5i) per year, in advance.
gloat in newspaper notoriety and they are not worth it. Space is too
o f thousands have lost every
AD VE R TIS IN G RATES made known upon application.
thing In unsuccessful ventures.
valuable to he used up in this way.
The prosperous, successful man or
6o the Midgets Were Armed With Dirk
Saturday, February 2, ’ 12
Knives Inetead— They Were Fighters, woman Is the one who buys with
Whoever would think that checker-playing was a dangerous
Each man should have the right to earn his way,
Though, Farragut and Porter Being knowledge o f what he or she Is buy
habit? But it seems that Myron Gould, o f Kansas, has become a
ing. whether It be a piece o f beef, a
And each should have for fa ir d a y ’s work a fair d a y’s pay, devotee to the game to such an extent that it landed him in a mess
In Battles at the Age of Twelve.
dozen o f eggs, a horse, a house or
Each man should governed be by Justice’s right
o f trouble. He was recently committed for w ife desertion, hut at the
Something more than a hundred years stocks and bonds.
And gain his ends by peaceful means— not dynamite.
plaint of the w ife he was released on his promise to comply with the ago the midshipman was, indeed, the
Money has been made In W all street
orders o f the court to contribute +6 a week for the support of his w ife "mldshtpmite” that he was popularly and will continue to be made. Those
and two children. But the lure o f checkers was too much for him called, for he was but a mite o f a lad, who buy stocks when they sell low and
and he got to he such a terror when he sat in a game, that he defeated usually receiving his appointment be- sell them when they advance must
all comers and went about looking for new victims to dangle at his fore he reached his teens. Admirals make money. The operation Is no d if
Farragut and I’orter were midshipmen, ferent from buying a house or n farm
belt. He became so infatuated that he forgot all about his little +6
afloat and In pitched battles, at twelve at n bargain and selling It at n profit.
promise, and he had to get “ pinched” again and go back to prison. years of age. and Goldsborough was Rut one should exercise Just ns much
It would seem that a checkerboard can become as dangerous as | ¡p ^ m te d when only seven years old. qnre In one transaction ns In the other.
THE TIMES is earnest and outspoken. It advocates
roulette wheel.
Nowadays, however, the midshipman
what it believes to be right, and that without fear or favor,
Have nothing to do with those who
OLD TIME MIDDIES
OUR P LATFORM
and unencumbered by the shackles of circumstance. THE
TIMES will not swerve from the path of duty, and it cannot
be purchased or compromised. THE TIMES unqualifiedly sub
scribes to the great principles of human liberty under the law;
of equal rights in all fields of legitimate endeavor, industrial
freedom and to the advancement of the great Pacific Coast.
TO THE EMPLOYER— THE TIMES will ever be open to
the employer of labor, that he may have, through its columns,
an opportunity to place the truth before the public regarding
the business conditions which govern him and his environ
ments. The co-operation of the employer and the employe are
the substantial proofs of what has made the Pacific Coast
what it is today. Their interests are identical, are inseparable.
The mutual experience, foresight and confidence between the
business man and the wage-earner have made and are making
for success. The investments of the one coupled with the efforts
of both are solid bulwarks of present prosperity and the assur
ances of the future. Minus these, advancement along the lines
of industrial and commercial progress of the Pacific Coast is
impossible. Without this hearty co-operation, a continuance of
the highest possible development of our agricultural, horticult
ural, timberal, mineral and other resources is out of the ques
tion, and we must retrograde and decay.
TO THE EMPLOYE.— The columns of THE TIMES will
always be open to the employe, whether he may be an inde
pendent toiler or claim affiliation with a trade organization.
THE TIMES hopes that by thus affording a medium for the
interchange of opinions and by untrammeled discussion of la
bor questions in its columns, that a better understanding will
be brought about between the employer of labor and the man
who earns his bread by the sweat of his brow. THE TIMES
believes that by this method the rights of both will be con
served and advanced.
In the field of labor THE TIMES will champion the prin
ciple of ‘ ‘ equality of opportunity,” with all that it means to
independent labor and to the average good citizen. This paper
will be the staunch and undeviating friend of all honest toilers,
of all unshackled, law-abiding, sincere workers; and while
never denying the right of workmen to organize lawfully, this
paper will be the unyielding foe of lawless, proscriptive,
monopolistic and exclusive labor organizations, because they
are the selfish enemies of their own class, and the common dan
ger of the industrial world. Our position in this matter is un
mistakable, and will be maintained.
THE TIMES will at all times stand for the conservation of
human life and energy and character, with all their tremendous
potentialities; for the preservation of the community and the
nation; for the protection of property; for the flag and its
glorious traditions; for the national life and honor with their
pregnant possibilities; for the continuance of a brave, virtuous
and patriotic citizenship, without which no nation can be either
truly great or really good.
They do queer things down San Francisco way. We are advised
that a woman there pawned her fat husband's teeth so that she
could procure food fo r her own nourishment. When reminded that
perhaps her husband would suffer, in that he was thus left minus the
means o f mastication, that unkind female retorted that it didn’t mat
ter, ‘ ‘ he’s too fat, anyw ay.” Compelling him to consume his own
surplus, as it. were.
It appears that the position one occupies in the social scale in
London governs the amount o f the fine assessable against them foi
profane swearing. The Metropolitan Police Guide gives the sliding
scale o f fines fo r “ cuss” words, thus:
‘ ‘ Day laborer, common soldier or common sailor, 25 cents.
‘ ‘ Every other person under the degree o f gentleman. 50 cents.
“ Every person o f or above the degree o f gentleman, $1.25.”
Should a person swear several times on one occasion it constitutes
one offense, with a cumulative penalty.
j Is quite a different person.
Mayor Rolph, of San Francisco, is a man o f common sense and
one who does not propose to allow any political party to dictate his
appointments. He recently sent a letter to the Socialist county com-
mitce informing them o f this fact. lie told them that lie was the
„j.
, •
i
e c.
rs
,
. „
scr ant of the entire people o f San Francisco and not of any party or
taction, and that every other political party had the sense to realize
this, it seems, but the Socialists. But one must not expect too much
of persons -of this class, for their brains are unhinged, anyway.
POWER OF SILENCE.
¿ohn Randolph Used It to Confi a* a
Powerful Opponent.
In painting the sacrifice of Iphigenla
the artist, it is said, exhausted the
emotions of grief and horror in the
faces o f the bystanders.
"H e has left nothing unsaid. How
can he depict her father’s sorrow?”
was the anxious query o f those friends
who were watching the development
of the picture. The artist threw a
mantle over Agamemnon's face. The
blank silence was more effective than
any picture woe.
One o f the most extraordinary effects
produced by an absolute silence Is re
corded In tbe reports o f a convention
in which the foremost men of Virginia
took part. John Rnudolph had a meas
ure to carry In which he looked for the
opposition o f Alexander Campbell, a
man then noted for his scholarship and
power In debate.
Randolph had never seen the Scotch
logician, hut he had heard enough of
him to make him and his partisans
uneasy. When, therefore, the gaunt
stranger first rose to speak In the con
vention Randolph looked at him with
such an air o f alarm as to attract the
whole attention o f the convention and
as he glanced around seemed to be
asking for sympathy in his coming de
feat
He then composed himself to
listen in rapt attention.
Campbell, aware of this byplay, hes
itated and lost the thread of his argu
ment. Randolph's face by turns as be
listened expressed weariness. Indiffer
ence and finally contempt He leaned
back and yawned. Campbell sat down
hastily. He had lost the whole force
o f his speech. Not a word had been
spoken, but he was defeated.—St. Louis
Republic.
Here's something new in the matter o f doling out fines to minor
lawbreakers, invented by Judge Carlisle, o f Kansas City
Here are
some o f the fines he imposes: For winking at a lady without provo
cation. + 100; second offense. +125; fourth offense. +200 For carry
ing a revolver, +100; for writing with chalk upon a building or side
walk. +25; for using impolite language to ladies in stores or other
public places. +25; for throwing chewing gum on the sidewalks or
floors o f streetcars. +5; for stealing a gate. +10; porters who talk
rudely to people who have not been generous enough in their tips. +10
fo r each offense.
»(Tor glittering opportunities to get
rich quickly. This will save your
money. It mny sound very nice to
say that one owns a thousand shares
o f a gold, silver or copper mine with
a pnr value o f $10.000 and that cost
the holder only $50 or $100. But what
use is such a certificate unless It has
real value?
Better put the $50 or
$100 In one share o f a dividend pay
ing stock and be satisfied with mod
erate returns and a moderate profit on
any advance the stock may enjoy.—
Leslie's.
the lieutenants and many of the cap
tains of even seventy years ago.
The old time middies were mere
schoolboys. All tbe warships o f any
size carried in their regular comple
Kept Him Modest.
Lord Herschel, having delivered an ments a schoolmaster, whose duty It
address before a large audience, was was to give the lads as liberal an edu
afterward waited on by the local re cation as possible in the odd periods
EAGLES IN COMBAT.
porter, who requested a digest of the between strictly professional duties.
Tills
rating
of
schoolmaster
wns
abol
deliverance. “ How Is It you were not
Fury of the Belligerent Birds In Their
present to hear it for yourself?" in- ished. in fact, only about twenty years
Duel In the Air.
qulred the noble peer “ Oh," said the | nS°- but after the establishment o f the
An old time observer in Maryland
reporter. "I had something more Im- Naval academy, in 1841, these officials
says that the Eastern Shore eagles can
portant to attend to—a big boxing | Jevotcd their energies to the sailor np-
fly faster, remain in their lofty flight
match!” Lord Herschel admitted that I Prentic<'s only, the enlisted boys o f the
longer and descend from it to the earth
this kept him modest - London Opin- i forecastle.
Even these now obtain
with more velocity than any other cre
lon
I their education on shore.
There is a tradition that the three ated thing with wings. He also says
brass buttons the midshipman wears that the fierceness o f the eagles and
Everlasting.
on
the sleeve o f his full dress coat dur- the tenacity and power of clutch they
Vicar's Daughter— Ira sorrv you j
can put into their immense talons are
don't like the vicar’s sermons. William. I lnS hls four rears at Annapolis orlgi-
beyond belief, and he cites as an in
What is the matter with them? Are | nated a ceutury or m°re ago, when stance o f It n fight between two of the
their
presence
was
needed
to
discour
they too long?
William—Yes. miss.
big birds that be once saw.
Von t' curate 'e says. "In conclusion,” age the youngsters from brushing their
Just what Incited the two eagles to
noses
with
their
sleeves.
This
is
prob
and 'e jlo conclude. But t’ vicar ’e
the combat this spectator o f the fight
says "Lastly,” and 'e do last.—London ably a base slander, modern research did not know, hut they came together
Indicating that the buttons are relics
Mail
of the days when there was a cuff flap high ln the air. A long time tbe twe
fierce birds fought with beak and
About Nothing.
on tbe sleeve.
talon and wing, rushing upon one an
Mamma—What in the world are you
At a11 events the extreme youth of
two quarreling about?
the midshipmite used to be his most other, delivering their blows and re
treating for advantage in a new at
Little Dick—Nothing.
conspicuous characteristic. Instead of
“ Nothing, eh?"
*
j the full sized regulation officer’s sword tack. Then at last they clinched and
fought at close quarters.
“ Yes'm. Dot left her box o f candy j ,llat lle now carries, he wore a little
In that position they came plunging
here, an' when she came back there I straight bladed dirk about a foot long,
was nothin' In It."
He was to n large extent a messenger to the earth, but neither made any e f
fort to stay the fall, so desperately In
._________________ for carrying orders about tbe ship, but
tent was each on the savage battle.
The Distant Uncle
he a*8° *ook charge o f boats and com-
They struck together ln the freshly
Shortleigh—My Uncle Frank Is a manded U10n desPite his youth. He
turned furrow o f a plowed field, and
veritable Klondike. Longleigh-W ’ hy was frequently placed in charge o f a
the Impact failed to separate them or
how's that? Shortleigh—Has plenty o f I prlze ca[,tured ln war- taklnK her lnto to cause an Instant’s delay in the fight,
wealth, but Is cold and distant.-Smart 11,ort’ and DOt ‘ «frequently suppressing
mutinies among the prisoners on board. and the coming on the scene o f a man
Set Magazine.
Farragut was a prize master at twelve with a club, with which he at once
took part ln the battle, did not distract
and got his prize safely In.
Misleading.
The title "midshipman" is an ancient their attention from one another, and
Mugg (applying for a Job)—Sir. I am
one. He Is above the seamen and the the man killed them both. Their tal
honesty Itself.
petty officers forward nnd below the ons were buried so deeply in each oth
Prospective Employer—Indeed! I Im
com missioned officers ln the wardroom er’s flesh that to separate the two
agined It looked different.—Boston aft; hence "midshipman.” There was belligerent eagles It wns necessary tc
Transcript.
formerly a higher grade called passed cut off their legs.—New York Sun.
midshipman, but this was abolished be
Married Young to Beat Smallpox.
fore the war between the states. Then
When 1 was a lad the number of
the grade was restored, but called mid
shipman. the former midshipman be people whose faces were pitted with
“ Blind from
ing designated ns a cadet midshipman. smallpox was legion.
In 1882 the title o f the latter was smallpox” was on the card worn by
changed to naval cadet, which it still most o f the unfortunate street beg
remains, nnd the midshipmen were gars who had lost their sight
merged with the ensigns. Accordingly
The anxiety o f parents to have their
the time honored title of midshipman daughters married at an age which
no longer exists officially In the United would now be considered almost scan
States navy.
dalously immature was one by-result
While officially a naval cadet, that of the frequency and severity o f small
young officer is still regarded and often pox. I f a girl's face were marred her
referred to verbally as a midshipman, prospects of matrimony were, o f
for beds the same creature as o f old as course, Impaired, and the ambition o f
far as his duties go. But by the side mothers—so common was smallpox—
of hls earlier prototype the twentieth wns to see their daughters safely mar
century "m iddy" Is a savant. Trigo ried before they caught the disease.—
nometry was about as high up ln math From Walter Gilbey’s "Recollections
ematics as the old timer ever went. o f Seventy Y'ears" In Nineteenth Cen
The twentieth century lad goes far be tury.
yond
He goes through nualytlcat ge
ometry o f three dimensions, differential
What Life Is.
and Integral calculus, applied mechan
Nothing Is o f real value ln the world
ics.
except people. Never hurt a person by
Gunnery n hundred years ago was a wrong thought or by word or by act
little more than loading, aiming and Never hurt each other. Then go on
firing at short ranges. It now involves a big discovering expedition and find
metallurgy, theory o f the combustion each other. Never say, "That person
o f powder gases, stress and strain, me has nothing In him.” for that only
chanical engineering, manufacture and means that you haven’t found It yet.
preservation o f complex explosive* nnd Then, last o f all, never think you are
other abstruse subjects. In nil of which the only person. You are Just i pnrt
the midshipman o f the present day of "ench other.” You are not some
must be proficient.
body and the rest o f us everybody
Midshipmen were conspicuous In all else. W e are each other. Life Is each-
¡our early wars, notably those with the otherness. not everybody-elseness.—St.
jBarhary States, with the West Indian Nicholas.
j pirates and with the British ln 1812.
They were equally conspicuous during
Th* Hornbill.
| our conflicts with the Spanish and F ili
The hornbill, a bird which Is widely
pinos. Midshipmen, naval cadets, had distributed ln India, the Malay archi
> charge o f the extremely hazardous pelago nnd Africa, has a very loud
picket duty In the Santiago blockade, note. Its call has been described ns
close under the Spanish batteries nnd between the shriek of a locomotive
: often under musketry fire from shore. nnd the bray o f a donkey and can he
Cadet Dowell ran hls open launch right heard a distance of about a couple of
Into the harbor o f Santiago after the miles.
Merrimae. remained all night under the
menacing guns o f the Inner batteries
Twisted.
snd steamed out again under their fire
Hicks—I hear that Brown’s speech
in the m orning—New York Press.
at the club dinner last night was quite
Cleveland’s Birthplace M a y
Become a M em orial M u seu m
J
N. M Phillips, a graduate of the Pniversity o f California and
traveling salesman for a San Francisco firm attempted to “ make
mash” on three Portland girls with ‘ ‘ Oh. look w ho’s here. Good
evening, ladies.” The girls were self-respecting and resented such
familiarity, riieir escorts gave the tnasher and his companion, win
escaped the police dragnet, a severe drubbing. Then Patrolman
• thick carted Phillips to the City Jail. When Phillips was brought
before Judge Tazwell, lie received a tongue lashing at the hands o f
Judge Hennessy. Deputy Distrht Attorney, who was in a bellicosi
mood, lie considered that such barnacles on the body politic would
look well cracking rocks at Liunton, which would he better than
“ cracking” remarks such as he made to women. And Phi lips was
fined +25.
Guv Allen is totally lacking in the instincts o f a gentleman. Mrs
!'•
Carter is an evangelist at a mission at 2 S I1 H a w th o rn e avenue
AHvn says that he went to the mission to “ get" religion ." Instead
o f doing that, he awaited the time when Mrs. Carter was at praver.
Her handling was within reach, and he became curious as to its con
tents. lie took a peep. There was a Bible and a dime in the hag.
lie forgot all about his search for religion. He would rather have
that dime
In his anxiety to set lire it. it eluded his grasp and fell
with a tell tale jingle to the floor It all ended by Guy's falling into
the grip of Patrolman Fuller to whom lie admitted the theft, and
sai.l that he had thrown Mrs Carter's Bible and handbag into a mud
puddle. Later on Judge Tazwell committed him to the rockpile
where he « i l l remain for four months By the end of that time Guy
will conclude it would have been better hail he experienced religion
and had not tried to “ sw ip e" Mrs Carter’s ten-eent piece.
He cannot
enter the Naval academy under fifteen
and is therefore when on a regular
cruising ship after completing his four
years' academic course usually a well
i developed man, physically mature and
BthIetlc and wltu B tralned mind. lie
ts far better equipped mentally than
Copyright t>> i mterwood A Underwood
Parson«** photo copyright by Progress Publishing company.
T
UK movement looking to the preservation of the "Old Manse" at CaM-
well. \ J , the birthplace of Grover Cleveland, as a memorial museum
and repository of relics of the ex president Is making progress. The
plan Involves the raising of $50.000. one tenth to lie subscribed by ths
citizen* o f Caldwell, the remainder by the people of the country at large Tltla
to the parsonage property has been taken by the Caldwell memorial commutes,
the members o f which are hopeful of securing the necessary subscriptions tn
the near future The plaa coatsaiplstes the acquisition o f an adjoining plot
of ground sud the erectleo * f a memorial library
The house ts the oae ta
whb-h the future president lived with hls parent* uatll he was four rears old,
bis father. ■ Presbyterian min is tar. than removing his family to FayattnvUla,
N. T.. a village near Syramaa
Blood and Fira.
A French editor, anxious for sensa
tions. came Into hls office and asked
hls deputy what had happened. “ Noth
ing," he was told, "except that a
man's nose had been bleeding ln the
l Place de la Concorde and a chimney
Is on fire In Montmartre." “ Enough,"
said tbe ether nnd wrote the placard
"Blood and Fire ln Paris!”
Hurry and cunning are tbe two ap
prentices c f dispatch and »kill, but
neither of them ever learns his maa-
lari' trad a-C olto*.
I
funny. Wicks—The opening sentence
was—very! He rose and said. "W hilo
I was sitting on my thought a chalt
struck me." Everybody roared.—Bos
ton Transcript
Co m pa n y.
A crowd la not company Faces are
but a gallery of pictures where there
Is do lore, and talk but a tinkling cym
bal.—Francis Bacon.
When men are pura, law* are use-
leas: when men ara corrupt, lawa ara
broken. — Disraeli