THE OHEMAWA
AM ERICAN
SMILES AND SUCH
H U M O R O U S G L E A N I N G S FR O M V A R IO U S
SO UR CES
COW V S . H U S B A N D
The wife of a small farmer in Perthshire some time
ago went to a druggist with two prescriptions—one
for her husband, the other for her cow. Finding she
had not enough money to pay for both, the chemist
asked her which she would take.
“ Gie me the stuff for the coo,” said she; “ the morn
will do well eneuch for him, puir body. Gin he were
to dee I could sure git another man, but I ’m no say
sure that I could git anither coo.”
A F I N E W ARM B A T II
Smythe’s mistake, which is described in an English
contemporary, must have been disconcerting, to say
the least. “ You’ll find your bath in the out ‘ouse.”
Thus he had been directed the night before at the lit
tle inn where he was stopping, and that is why he
was now, in his dressing gown, pushing open the out
side door. It was dark but there was the tub, and it
would do.
He hopped in. In the middle of his ablutions the
red-faced landlord thrust his head in at the door. In
the dim he failed to see the man in the tub.
“ Water quite nicely warm, thanks,” observed
Smythe, “ but it’s a trifle muddy.”
“ Muddy be hanged!” roared the landlord, bursting
in suddenly. “ Your tubs in the next place. Git out