16
THE CHEMAW A AM ERICAN
a bicycle. “ A bicycle won’t eat its head off,” said
the salesman, “ and yon can ride it around your farm.
They’re cheap now, and I can let you have one for
$35.”
“ I guess I ’d ruther put the $35 into a cow,” said
the farmer, reflectively.
“ Ha-ha!” laughed the hardware man. “ You’d look
mighty foolish riding round your farm on a cow, now,
wouldn’t you?”
“ Well, I dunno,” said the farmer, “ no more than
I would milking a bicycle.”
A M A R K T W A IN S T O R Y
A friend ofc Mark Twain once asked him if he re
membered the first money he earned. “ Yes,” he said,
“ it was at school, and a very painful recollection it is,
too. There was a rule in our school that any boy
marking his desk, either with pencil or knife, would
be chastised publicly before the whole school or pay a
fine of $5. Besides the rule there was a ruler; I knew
it because I had felt it; it was a hard one, too.
“ One day I had to tell my father that I had broken
the rule, and had to pay a fine or take a public whip
ping, and he said: “ Sam, it would be too bad to have
the name of Clemens disgraced before the whole school,
so I ’ll pay the fine. But I don’t want you to lose any
thing, so come upstairs.’
“ A few minutes later I came down with a bad feel
ing and the $5, and I decided that as I had been pun
ished once, and got used to it, I would not mind get
ting the other licking at school. So I did and kept
the $5.”