THE
CHEM AW A
AM ERICAN
9
H ave slower car and some cash .— H . A. B ung, Box 5. F ifth W eek
\ \ anted W ill exchange residence property and speedy car for m achine
capable of developing over a mile a m in u te — H . A. Bung, Box 5. S ixth
W eek— W an ted — Wi 11 ex change fast m ctor-car, dam aged, for profes
sional services of first-class su rg eo n .— H . A. Bung, Box 5.
SOME VNHEEORME1) S P E L L IN G
T he vagaries of E nglish spelling are well illu strated in th e follow ing
e x tra ct, from St. N icholas. T h e w ords sound properly, b u t th e sp ell
ing does not correspond to the m eaning required. It would m ake a
good exercise in spelling to rew rite the ex tract in its proper form:
Know won kneads w eight tw o bee tolled thee weigh to do sew.
A rite suite little buoy, the sun of a g rate kernel, w ith a rough
around his neck, flue up the rode as quick as a dear. A fter a thym e
he stoppped at a blew house and w ru n g the belle
H is tow h u rt hym n
and he kneaded w rest. He was two tired to raze his fare, pail face. A
feint mown rows from his lips.
1 he made who herd the belle was about two pair a pare, b u tt she
thro u g h it dow n and ran w ith awl her m ite, for fear her guessed wood
knot w eight. Butt when she saw the little won. tiers stood in her ayes
at the site.
Ew e, poor deer! W hy dew yew lye hear? A re yew d y in g ?”
K n o w ,” he said.
I am f e in t.”
She boar hym n in her arm s, and hurried to a rheum w here he mite
bee quite, gave him bred and meet, held a cent bottle under his know s,
untide his neck scarf, rapped him up w arm , and gave him a suite
d ra c h m .
O N E W O M A N 'S W AY
An officious neighbor, observing a bride of two weeks chopping k in d
ling. took occasion to rem onstrate w ith her and to offer her some advice
on the subjugation of husbands. The bride did not welcome the su g
gestions. “ Jim m y ,” she said, proudly and h au g h tily defending her
husband, has th in g s on his m ind of m ore im portance than k in d lin g .”
“ W ell! H av e n ’t you?” snapped th e w ould-be ag itato r.
“ W hy, n o ,” the bride answ ered m odestly, b lu sh in g a little. “ All
I have on my m ind is Jim m v .”