THE CHEMAWA AMERICAN
23
SMILES A N D SUCH
H U M O R O U S G L E A N I N G S FRO M V A R IO U S S O U R C E S
J A C K G A V E IT A W A V .
A dear little bride on the train was like most brides in desiring to
avoid identification as such. The husband went out when the train
stopped at a way-station. An old lady opposite talked to her. “ You
are lately married, my dear. I know,” she said, kindly.
Oh, no we have been married a long time,” returned the younger
woman, briskly.
Ah! excuse me. You are so young, and you seem so happy.”
Oh, we have been married eight—yes, eight years.”
‘Have you any----- ”
“ Oh! (blushing furiously) no!”
Well! well!—and I thought at first you were on your honeymoon.”
Oh, no. My husband will tell you - here he conies—that we have
been married eight years. Haven’t we. Jack?”
“ Yes, yes, certainly,” he replied. “ Do you know, Mabie,” he add
ed, with a wriggle, “ I have some of that beastly rice down my back
vet.”
O N L Y IIIM S E L F TO B L A M E .
O Toole was passing a bird store when this sign caught his eve,
Elegant parrot which speaks seven languages, for sale.”
O’Toole went in and after a dicker bought the bird for $5, and
ordered it sent to his home. Then he continued on his way to work.
He could hardly wait to get home, so anxious was he to see the parrot
and to hear all of the languages, and when the clock struck six he was
the first man out. Running home, he rushed in upon his wife and ex
claimed, with face aglow:
“ Did the bird come, Illin?”
“ It did. Dinny, and it’s stuffed, cooked and ready for ye, but I ’m
tellin ye, Dinny, there’s very little to ut but bones at all.”
“ Ye cooked it?” screamed O’Toole.
“ Sure,” said Mrs. O’Toole.
“ ’Twasn’t to be killed, Illin,” cried O’Toole. “ Sure, the poor
green thing was a present to ye—’twas a talkin’ parrot! The bird
could spake sivin languages!”
“ Well, phwy the dickens didn’t the baste say something when Oi
wint to kill u t,” retorted Mrs. O'Toole.