Wednesday, October 7, 2020 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
7
Commentary...
Support for youth in time of tragic loss
By Charlie Kanzig
Correspondent
Following the tragic
deaths on two consecutive
weeks involving Sisters
teens, support for young
people grappling with the
losses is vital. In the midst
of COVID-19, access to
resources is a bit more chal-
lenging, but help is available.
In a letter sent out Friday,
high school principal Joe
Hosang said, <The primary
reason for this message is
to let you know that we are
here to support our students,
staff and families through the
grieving process.=
Counselors from all three
schools in Sisters, along with
administrators and other
support personnel, met last
Friday morning to formu-
late a response for the school
community, following the
news of two seniors killed in
a crash on Road 15 Thursday
evening, which happened
just a week after a 2020
graduate died in a single car
accident.
The initial work for this
group was to ascertain some
basic facts, assess needs, and
to gather resource informa-
tion to share with students
and families.
Normally, if students had
been attending in-school
classes, the Tri-County Crisis
team, a collection of trained
counselors and support per-
sonnel, would have been
on site at the high school to
assist with supporting staff
and students, as well as help-
ing with communication and
action plans surrounding the
circumstance. Without stu-
dents present the team was
not called in immediately,
but one member stayed in
contact throughout the day to
provide guidance to Sisters
school staff.
Members of the Crisis
Team were scheduled to be at
Sisters High School Monday,
October 5 to provide further
support to staff and students.
The death of young peo-
ple, especially when it hap-
pens unexpectedly, can be
very challenging for anyone
affected by the loss. Initial
reactions of shock and dis-
belief may be followed by
a range of other emotions
and reactions including
anger, overwhelming sorrow,
blame, confusion, and more.
There is no magic recipe for
coping with such situations,
but there are some guide-
lines, pulled from a variety of
sources, including Sources of
Strength, that can be helpful,
which include:
" Find someone you trust
to talk with. Be willing to let
others help you.
" Give yourself per-
mission to grieve in your
own way and have grace
for those who grieve dif-
ferently than you do.
" Remember it is not only
okay, but good to talk about
those who have died.
" Understand you may
feel distracted, unmotivated,
or confused, so be willing to
give yourself a break. Don9t
expect to be at your best.
" Let your family know
how you are doing
" Get physically active
4exercise, yoga, running,
kick-boxing, punching a pil-
low, walking in nature or
anything else that will get
you moving.
" Don9t be surprised if this
loss stirs up emotions from
previous losses.
" Write, journal, draw,
create, listen to music.
" Pray or meditate.
" Find ways to do good
self-care regarding eating
and sleeping. Grieving can
be exhausting.
" Remember that grief has
no timeline or <stages.=
" Seek professional help
if the feeling of being over-
whelmed persists for long.
Locally, school coun-
selors in all three buildings
are available to assist stu-
dents. Sisters High School
counselor Lindy Weddel
said, <We are here to help
in any way we can, includ-
ing providing direct support
or to refer students to other
resources.=
Individual students might
discover they are in need of
ongoing support and parents
may be seeking resources
on how to best care for their
kids. Given that students are
currently conducting most
of their school lives at a dis-
tance due to COVID-19, par-
ents may feel more need than
ever to provide support for
their kids.
According to Cheri
Lovre, founder of Crisis
Management Institute, par-
ents being emotionally avail-
able for their kids is crucial.
She said, <Parents may
feel like they need to 8make
it all better9 or be tempted
to turn what happened into
a lesson of some sort. What
kids most need is to know
you are there to listen.=
Some high school stu-
dents organized a gathering
Friday evening to remember
the young people who died,
which is an example of why
Sisters is a community well
known for pulling together to
face challenges.
This is certainly one of
those times.
Some resources for stu-
dents, parents and educators
include:
" Partners in Care, which
serves the entire Central
Oregon region with sites in
both Bend and Redmond,
provides a number of options
for kids experiencing grief,
including in-school grief
groups, <My Friend9s House=
(for families); individual sup-
port; and a summer program
called <Camp Courage.= See
https://www.partnersbend.
org/bend-hospice-services/
childrens-grief-support for
information.
" Deschutes County
Mental-Behavioral Health,
including the crisis line, 541-
322-7500, www.deschutes.
org/health. Referral forms are
available at Sisters Schools.
" The Dougy Center
(https://www.dougy.org),
which is based in Portland,
has extensive resources for
parents and kids.
" Website: http://www.
griefspeaks.com.
" Crisis Management
Institute, https://cmionline.
com, has resources for educa-
tors, counselors, and parents.
" Private practitioners
who specialize in grief.
" Clergy well versed in
grief support.
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