14
Wednesday, May 13, 2020 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
In the
PINES
By T. Lee Brown
Shooting fish in
a barrel is not an
Olympic sport
Some friends of mine are
pissed off at the government,
especially our state. One
friend 4 let9s call her Lucy
4 complains that the State of
Oregon is <incompetent.=
It9s a reasonable accusa-
tion. I spent a couple hours
on the State of Oregon9s web-
page for pandemic unem-
ployment assistance. Haven9t
seen a dime yet.
But I also spent hours on
a simple matter with a local,
private company. I wasn9t
asking them to make millions
of dollars appear, figure out
which of the over 362,000
citizens who applied deserves
a share of it, then deliver
each their portion using vari-
ous feats of computer-aided
logistics. Nope: that9s the
enormous request I9ve made
of the State of Oregon.
From the private entity,
I simply needed to log onto
my accounts. One of their
third-party providers of
digital something-or-other
got hacked, and then they
upgraded a thingamajig, and
then none of my accounts
worked, on phone or com-
puter. All this happened to
coincide with COVID hit-
ting the fan; walking into
their office to sort things out
wasn9t an option.
Digital upgrades are a
big deal; I get that. In fact,
I worked so hard on an
upgrade for an online com-
pany back in the Internet
Stone Age (a.k.a. the early
1990s) that I managed to per-
manently injure my hands
and arms. So, I was willing
to cut a local business some
slack as they waded through
the mire of their technology.
Even though the service they
provide is essential to me and
my family, and we 4 like
most of you, dear readers 4
were having a pretty weird,
rough time already.
The nice people at the
company sent apologetic
emails. A customer service
representative eventually
took my call and alleged to
solve my problem.
Three days later I once
again couldn9t log in. It was
8:30 on a weekday morning.
Tried to call customer sup-
port. They weren9t open yet.
Huh. Even the State of
Oregon9s unemployment
office answers calls that time
of day.
Speaking of governments
everyone loves to bitch and
moan about: check out what
the federal gubmint has been
up to. They9ve managed to
put operators on the horn over
the weekends, so the Small
Business Administration can
administer emergency pan-
demic loans seven days a
week.
A loved one got through
fast on a Sunday call to
SBA. Now his loan is sittin9
pretty in his company9s bank
account and his employees
are getting paid.
But here I was at 8:30
on a business day, unable to
get through to my essential
services provider&which
also happens to be my friend
Lucy9s employer.
I9m not mad at Lucy9s
employer. (Nor am I mad
at Lucy, a very smart and
awesome person who sews
beautiful COVID masks for
the community whilst I tap
uselessly away at my com-
puter, spewing words into the
ether.) I9m also not mad at
the State of Oregon.
Whenever you get a
bunch of people, procedures,
and computers together,
there will be failures. There
will be stupidity. There will
be aggravation, grumpiness,
and lots of waiting. That9s
just reality.
Would I like to see a bet-
ter, shinier reality? Sure, I9m
always up for Utopia. In the
meantime, I9m going to give
both my sweet local com-
pany and my beloved State a
break. I9m gonna say: People
are doing their best.
Hell, I9ll even go out on
a limb and thank the federal
government for not implod-
ing 4 at least not completely,
Make us
your natural &
organic foods
destination!
Located in the Cascade Village
Shopping Center, Bend
Open every day, 7 a.m. to 9 p.m.
Isolated shopping hour: 6 to 7 a.m.
• Large organic
produce selection
• Huge organic &
natural selection
storewide
• Meat cut &
ground fresh
daily
• Huge bulk-foods
department
• All your favorite
local brands &
items
• Only 20 minutes
from Sisters
• Proud to be
100% locally
owned
not yet.
Government9s an easy tar-
get. It9s big! It takes money
from us! Its largest budget
item is devoted to killing
other people, including civil-
ians, often in gruesome and
torturous ways!
It9s got a plethora of
easy-to-loathe public faces!
In DC: snarky Tweet-bots,
grumpy old people, cli-
chéd Millennial Instagram
Influencers, narcissistic
buffoons.
Over the pass in Salem:
career paper-pushers who
can9t see past the confines
of the Willamette Valley,
PERS mismanagers, luna-
tics who believe their fellow
Americans are actively try-
ing to wrangle a Communist
Chinese takeover. Manning
the bridge, a rather nerdy and
unspectacular bureaucrat.
Fish in a barrel, my
friends. Fish&in&a&barrel.
There9s a reason shooting
such fish is not an Olympic
sport. It ain9t sporting.
In a more sportsmanlike
spirit, I propose a different
narrative. What if the State
of Oregon has done a pretty
good job in the pandemic?
Washington exploded with
COVID-19 cases. California
was next. Here we are, sand-
wiched between them, with
respectably low death rates
and plenty of hospital beds.
Should someone in
Oregon have a heart attack
from getting worked up
about government overreach,
the ER can zap 8em back to
life.
Kate Brown and her
cushy-government-job
underlings can9t magically
find all the money and dis-
tribute it to 362,000 people
with a snap of their greasy,
sausage-like, Democrat-
electing fingers? So it frickin9
goes! Waiting is frustrating,
but no more so than dealing
with the average non-govern-
mental entity.
Is there a solution to the
ills we face as a nation, a
state, and a society? I dunno.
I do know we9re not gonna
find it in a barrel full of spent
lead and rotting fish. Here9s
hoping we move on to some-
thing tougher, more produc-
tive, and less stinky.
HOMESCHOOL: Relax
and go lightly; have
fun for best learning
Continued from page 6
media, and turn off the
TV. Limit news to the eve-
ning news or newspaper to
keep stress down. Focus on
<adult= skills, doing chores
together.
" Focus on feelings,
family and fun first. Then,
encourage reading quietly
or aloud and daily writing.
Model reading. Teach math,
vocabulary and science
through baking, measuring,
board games and writing
stories.
" Lighten up and take
care of yourselves and your
family.
" Teach through play and
fun, encouraging academics
in light un-academic ways.
" Relax. Be sure your kids
feel safe, seen, heard, and
loved. Do a little schoolwork,
then leave it. Play a game, go
outside, bake a treat, snuggle
up together and read a book.
Talk to your kids to get a
sense of how they9re man-
aging and feeling. Who and
what do they miss? Remind
them this won9t last forever,
we9re all in it together, and
we9ll all get through it.
" Facilitate learning about
your child9s interests. Look
things up together. Find
YouTube videos that dem-
onstrate. Encourage freedom
for learning what your child
wants to learn. Explore their
interests.
" Don9t limit knowledge
to a prescribed curriculum.
" Spark an interest, like
cooking. You9ll be using
math, English, science, and
possibly culture, religion and
geography.
" The best learning hap-
pens when you are having
fun. (afineparent.com)
" The same website car-
ried information about How
to Plant Your Own Food in a
Kid-Friendly Garden. Check
it out. Think about all your
kids will learn by getting
their hands dirty.
Food establishments
encouraged to use masks
Central Oregon Public
Health Department are
strongly encouraging all
local food establishments
to use cloth face coverings.
Local health authorities note
that, while masks are not
required, there is strong evi-
dence that face coverings can
prevent the spread of COVD-
19 from workers who do not
show illness symptoms, yet
still can spread the virus.
The Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention rec-
ommends wearing cloth face
coverings in public settings
where other social distanc-
ing measures are difficult to
maintain, such as restaurant
kitchens, drive-through win-
dows and food trucks.
According to the Oregon
Health Authority and the
Oregon Department of
Agriculture, there is no evi-
dence that food or food pack-
aging is associated with the
transmission of COVID-19.
Food products do not need
to be withdrawn or recalled
from the market if someone
on the farm or in the process-
ing plant tests positive.
The virus is thought to
spread mainly from person to
person, such as between peo-
ple who are in close contact
with one another, or through
respiratory droplets produced
when an infected person
coughs or sneezes. To further
reduce the risk of contract-
ing the virus, Oregon Health
Authority recommends peo-
ple wash their hands often,
including before and after
preparing meals, before eat-
ing and after coming home
after being out.
VOTE CLIFF BENTZ
FOR CONGRESS
7
A Voice for Rural Oregon
Proven Dedication — Oregon State Senator
Endorsed by 32 County Commissioners
within Congressional District #2
Lifetime Resident of
2nd Congressional District
Endorsed by
Former Congressman Bob Smith
An Advocate for Natural Resources
Supports Fiscal Responsibility
— Paid for by Laurie Kimmel —