Wednesday, April 1, 2020 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
17
Holding on to empathy in a time of self-preservation
Your Story
MATTERS
Audry Van Houweling, PMHNP
Columnist
As I write this I am sit-
ting in a cabin alongside
the Metolius River in Camp
Sherman. The only sound
is the trickling of water just
beyond the back porch. I
am writing on a note pad
because there is no phone
or internet and my laptop is
dead. There is a fire, food in
the antiquated fridge, and a
claw-foot tub where I plan
on spending a good por-
tion of my evening reading
a book about survival in
Alaska. I am theoretically
supposed to depart tomor-
row, but my introvert self
is pondering how I might
negotiate a longer stay.
Part of my job as a men-
tal health professional is
navigating crisis. To some
extent, I encounter crises
of varying severity on a
near daily basis. Domestic
violence, suicide ideation,
bankruptcy, psychosis,
homelessness, and addiction
to name a few. Not much
surprises me anymore and I
like to think I have become
equipped at confronting
crisis with concern while
not letting the emotion of
a situation overcome my
judgment.
These other crises have
not stopped being rele-
vant, but the attention they
receive, which is often too
little, has been eclipsed by
the demands of COVID-
19. This is not to say that
COVID-19 does not deserve
the spotlight, but many
people are facing struggles
more immediate than the
threat of a virus. And what9s
worse, is that those struggles
existing before we knew
about COVID-19 may be
even more amplified amid
the widespread disruption.
And that leads me back
to my present comforts of
the cabin. It is not lost to
me how so very privileged
my position is. Crises tend
to illuminate privilege and
inequities. As much as I
want to find solace in this
place where denial comes
easy, I thank my upbring-
ing for making me ques-
tion the ethics of my indul-
gence. There is little room
for empathy in denial and I
am reminded that self-pres-
ervation can coexist with
compassion.
The disruption has given
us all challenges. Some of
us are used to dysfunction
and chaos 4 COVID-19
might be just adding to the
plate. Some of us resent
canceled conferences, fund-
raisers, vacations, and sport
games. Some of us are won-
dering how the bills will be
paid. Some of us have to
work even harder to find a
meal, shelter, and warmth. It
has triggered grief reactions
for a lot of us 4 whether it
was the game we didn9t get
to watch, the trip we didn9t
get to take, the family mem-
bers we cannot see, or the
support we can no longer
access.
Beauty blooms when
we can redirect our fear to
gratitude, recognize our
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privilege, and even in a
place of social distancing
find ways to connect and
reach out to our community.
If you have a job that
allows for remote work, a
living wage, a healthy body,
a younger body, supports
at home, a safe home, and
insurance you are in the
minority and yes, you are
privileged. Those of us that
are lucky enough to be in
such a position ought to be
giving what we can, doing
what we can, and advocat-
ing when we can.
Here are some things to
consider:
" Reach out to older
neighbors. Offer to buy gro-
ceries. Offer to help them
with technology.
" Buy gift cards to your
favorite restaurants you
might not want to physically
visit.
" Share toilet paper. Got
lucky at Costco? Some folks
are too afraid to walk out
their door. And please, don9t
TP my yard 4 or anybody
else9s for that matter.
" Give to local food
banks. Don9t want to give
up food? Give money.
" Send a word of encour-
agement to healthcare work-
ers and first responders.
They are on the front lines
and we owe them a lot of
thanks.
" Please only share infor-
mation that is factually
based. If you don9t know, do
more due diligence and stop
the spread of inaccuracies.
" Please remember non-
profits. Many nonprofits
have had to forego annual
fundraising events. Give
more now if you can.
" Need a break? Get out
in nature.
" Acknowledge your
privilege.
There are undoubtedly
unknowns as we all navi-
gate the complexities and
challenges COVID-19 is
forcing us to confront. What
is for certain is that denial
will not allow for progress.
Self-preservation without
empathy is letting fear win
the day and progress born
from fear is not nearly as
sustainable as progress
born from compassion. So
please keep remembering
to wash your hands...but
please also remember your
neighbor. And despite a bit
of stubborn reluctance, I
will depart from the cabin
tomorrow. Stay safe.
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Medication Management
Counseling • Functional Medicine
Audry
Van Houweling
PMHNP-BC
Quick and
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541-595-8337 • www.shesoarspsych.com
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