Wednesday, March 18, 2020 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon 23 Commentary... Five strategies for parenting for resilience By Mitchell L. Luftig, Ph.D Correspondent Parents who want their children to grow up to be strong independent adults must learn to parent for resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from stressful events and hard- ship4a kind of emotional toughness that enables a child to handle their sad- ness and emotional pain in a healthy way so that a chal- lenging situation does not overwhelm them. A child who practices the founda- tional skills for resilience improves the odds that as an adult they will be able to stand up to whatever chal- lenges they face. Resilience is something a child must develop over time; it cannot be awarded like a gold star. The prov- ing ground for resilience is the neighborhood, school- yard, classroom, and home where a child must learn to cope with taunting, being ignored, being picked on, being excluded, and being bullied. As children attempt to navigate this proving ground, they will often feel sad, upset, hurt, mad or dis- appointed. Unable to toler- ate their children9s pain- ful emotions, parents may be tempted to swoop in to end their children9s ordeal. However, children who learn to depend upon adults to fight their battles for them may never acquire the self-confidence and skills they need to stand up for themselves. Parents can learn to tol- erate their children9s emo- tional pain by practicing new strategies to support their children and help them grow into resilient adults. Here are five strategies offered by Ruth Wyatt, MA, LCSW at Good Therapy (www.good- therapy.org): NuggetNews.com is your online source for Breaking News " Empathy: Let your child know that you understand their feelings, even when their own behavior caused hurt to another; let them see that you can accept and handle their feelings, that you are not overwhelmed by them, no matter what they are. As Mr. Rogers put it,