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About The nugget. (Sisters, Or.) 1994-current | View Entire Issue (June 20, 2018)
Wednesday, June 20 2018 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon Your Story MATTERS Audry Van Houweling, PMHNP Columnist The loneliness behind success How do you define suc- cess? Who or what shaped your ideas of what success is? Has this definition served you not only financially, but also spiritually and emotionally? Our vision of success has likely been dictated by past experiences, relationships, education, opportunity, cul- ture, and the society in which we live. In our society suc- cess is often defined by exter- nal accomplishments — our bank accounts, our home, our cars, our clothing, how many letters we have after our name, and how many fol- lowers we have on our social media accounts. Many of us know there are shortcomings to this model of success, yet we nevertheless embrace the façade day after day. Putting on a bit of a mas- querade is human nature. We all like to flaunt our stuff once in a while or feel impressive from time to time. Our quest for belonging and acceptance is part of the human experi- ence that has roots in sur- vival, emotional and physical well-being. What worries me is that we have set the bar too high and this has had significant ramifications on our well- being. We are bombarded by expectations that are unreal- istic and often impossible all the time every day. We have bought into the idea that our value is connected to fleeting affirmations of worth and we compare ourselves to filtered, edited, and false portrayals. Have you ever followed somebody on social media and then met up with them in person only to realize their life is nowhere near as effort- less as their virtual portrayal may seem? And have you been guilty of trying to por- tray your own “effortless” existence? My answer is yes and YES. Former Facebook execu- tive, Chamath Palihapitiya, in an interview with the Washington Post (2017) emphasized this dynamic: “…We curate our lives around the perceived sense of perfection, because we get rewarded in these short- term signals — hearts, likes, thumbs up — and we con- flate that with value and we conflate it with truth. And instead, what it is is a fake, brittle popularity that’s short- term and leaves you even more, admit it, vacant and empty…” Some of us are afraid to portray anything but an edited version of who we are. Aside from social media we may rely on our fancy labels, titles, career, makeup, or substances to distract from vulnerability and authentic- ity. Ultimately, this can be pretty lonely. We realize our connections to others are built on a façade that can be exhausting to maintain and that few if any persons have been allowed access to what’s behind the mask. Maintaining prestige, fame, and status can ultimately be emotionally depleting as well as isolating. Genuine social connec- tion and space to be simply “real” is central to our health and I might argue, success. Loneliness and isolation have been associated with car- diovascular disease, inflam- mation, diabetes, depres- sion, anxiety, and suicide. Our largely individualistic society loves to give pats on the back to those who have apparently forged life by their own willpower. We become afraid to ask for help fear- ing it is a sign of weakness. We convince ourselves that virtual followers and connec- tions can replace face-to-face encounters. The loss of genuine human connection is cen- tral to the rising depression and suicide rates plaguing 19 our country. It is why wealth does not always buy health and why those who appear to “have it all together” may be experiencing deep per- sonal struggle. So in addi- tion to your yoga class, green smoothie, eco-friendly home, and meditation that you also call a friend, meet a neighbor, plan a coffee date, and just maybe let your guard down a bit. MEATS • CHEESES • EATERY • DRINKERY 110 S. SPRUCE ST. | 541-719-1186 OPEN EVERY DAY 9 A.M. TO 7 P.M. TODAY F L L A C R O E IN OR YOUR E C N A R U S N FREE I ! N O S I R A P COM COM 541-588-6245 257 S. Pine St., #101 | farmersagent.com/jrybka AUTO • HOME • LIFE • BUSINESS SUMMER HOURS: Open Tues. & Wed., Noon-8 p.m Thurs.-Sat., Noon-9 p.m. HIKE: River excursions can be part of a trip to Hells Canyon Continued from page 10 of wildlife, including a black bear and a herd of Rocky Mountain bighorn sheep. I felt a little sheepish, myself, when I learned that our fel- low passengers included a family from Germany, who had learned of Hells Canyon on the Internet and decided to include it on their U.S. itiner- ary; and, there I was, a native Oregonian who had never before made the trip. The tour lasted six hours and included an excellent lunch at an isolated historic farm homestead. We covered 32 miles of river in both direc- tions, and the trip was a bit longer than it might have been because of two incidents. First, we were called upon to evacu- ate an injured hiker to a place called Pittsburg Landing. Then, on the return trip, we lost power on an engine between the two biggest sec- tions of rapids; fortunately, a successful repair was effected. The rapids we encountered provided some wild rides and are rated as class 4 or 5 (on a maximum scale of 6), depend- ing on the water flow. By way of illustration, the Snake River drops an average of 8.7 feet per mile on its journey from Yellowstone National Park to the Columbia River; one of the rapids we traversed drops 18 feet in a distance of only 30 to 40 yards. Other possible river excur- sions are shorter or longer and can include rafting adventures Summer Fun $300 Discount FOR THE MONTH OF JUNE when you start a comprehensive treatment program. New patients only. Flexible fi nancing available. Call now to schedule your complimentary consultation Smile by Robin & The Brace Place! 541-382-0410 410 E. Cascade Ave., Sisters CentralOregonBracePlace.com of several days. Reservations are advised, and some days are reserved for non-motor- ized travel. One mystery that remained during our seven- hour drive home was, what happened to the apostrophe in “Hells.” Subsequent research on the Internet disclosed con- siderable discussion, but no definitive resolution to the question. While it’s true that Hells Canyon is remote and hard to get to, there is much to see in Oregon’s Wallowa and Blue Mountains; I even saw a griz- zly bear here 22 years ago. The trip to Hells Canyon is certainly worth it; and, when combined with other high- lights such as the Wallowa Lake Tramway and the Pendleton Underground, you have the makings of a memo- rable vacation trip. Tasty THURSDAY June 21, 5-7 p.m. | Brigadoon Wine Company LIVE MUSIC Sat., June 23, 7-9 p.m. | Doc Ryan & Whychus Creek 391 W W. C Cascade d A Ave. | 541-549-2675 541 549 2675 corkcellarswinebistro.com Serving Sisters Since 1976 For all your building needs right here in Sisters! Lumber • Hardware • Paint • Siding Doors & Windows • Fencing & Decking FREE Local Delivery Hours: M-F 8 to 5, Sat. 8 to 4:30, Closed Sundays 440 N. Pine St. • 541-549-8141 • www.hoyts.net
