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Wednesday, November 29, 2017 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
Coping with grief
during the holiday season
By Audry Van Houweling, P M H N P
isters and Co k
3
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For many of us holidays are made meaning-
ful by spending time with the people we love
most.
We build traditions and memories defined
by our loved ones playing special roles in help-
ing to make the season bright. Someone hangs
the Christmas lights, carves the turkey, deco-
rates the home, prepares our favorite foods,
eats the cookies, lights the candles, or what-
ever holiday traditions we may value. We come
to anticipate these traditions, and it therefore
can be especially difficult when those tradi-
tions and memories are disrupted after a loss.
Feelings of togetherness and celebration can
seem unreachable. The holidays may become
a time of pain rather than joy.
Grief is felt more intensely during the holi-
day season. It may be hard to conceive of joy
when a loved one that seemed to make the
holidays meaningful is no longer with us. It
can be difficult observing the joy and connec-
tions others may have when we might feel sad,
angry, and/or lonely. We may feel the need
to withdraw and isolate as socializing can
feel uncomfortable or burdensome. Seasonal
depression may be amplified as the winter
months not only signify shorter days, but also
grief and loss.
There is no right way to grieve. Coping
with grief is a unique and individualized jour-
ney. It is important that we give both ourselves
and others the grace and space to process loss
without judgment or expectation.
We often have our vision of what the holi-
day season “should be.” After losing someone
we love it may seem that vision and the joy
tied to it may never again be replicated. For
one person it may be helpful to take a “year
off” from the holidays and take time to pro-
cess, while another person may find it help-
ful to celebrate the holidays and build new
traditions. While losing someone can forever
change the holiday season, it is possible that
feelings of joy can in time begin to trickle back
into our holiday experience.
Embracing grief and the emotions associ-
ated with it can help begin the healing process,
but this can also be overwhelming. The holi-
days can be a time we may want to numb the
pain associated with grieving. Consider reach-
ing out to social supports or asking for profes-
sional help.
Consider volunteering or finding ways to
help others, which can shine perspective on
our grief and help us feel connected.
After losing someone, we can often feel that
by experiencing joy we are somehow not hon-
oring those we have lost. Consider honoring
those who have passed by lighting a candle,
telling a story, or making their favorite food.
In this way we can take part in memorializ-
ing their legacy and continue to include their
spirit(s) in our holiday traditions.
It is also OK to create new traditions and
new memories that may be different from
years past, but still meaningful.
Regardless of how you feel about the holi-
day season, know that whether those feelings
are positive or negative, you are not alone.
Please see below for a list of grief support
groups in the Central Oregon area.
CENTRAL OREGON
GRIEF SUPPORT GROUPS
Partners In Care Bend
Adult and children’s support groups
541-382-5882
Grief Share
Faith-based grief support groups.
Multiple Central Oregon locations.
www.griefshare.org
St. Charles Hospice
541-706-6700
Redmond Hospice
541-548-7483
Good Grief Guidance Bend
goodgriefguidance@gmail.com
Alpaca Country Etates
Come Meet
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at Alpaca Country
C o untry Estates
Es s t a tes s
E
Holiday Open House
Nov. - Jan., Mon. - Sat.,
10 a.m. to 4 p.m.
(Open Christmas until noon)
Unique alpaca gift s using our
alpaca fi ber woven into
apparel, rugs & more. Come
take a tour of the ranch.
AlpacaCountryEstates@yahoo.com
541-504-4226
6
70397 Buckhorn Rd., Terrebonne
Just 20 min rs ut ! es
from Siste
Alpaca Country Estates Ranch and Bed & Breakfast is a
working alpaca ranch. Our herd, which began with the pur-
chase of six lovable Huacaya alpacas in 2006, is now over 1,000
strong. The ranch offers breathtaking views of the Cascade
mountains, and includes a bed and breakfast, fashion design
company, artistry classroom, and boutique store.
We have been rewarded with color champions and reserve
champions in black, grey, brown, fawn, and white.
From our magnificent alpaca fiber, we create luscious, soft
yarn, woven garments/blankets, and alpaca fiber-filled quilts,
bringing to you some of the finest products in the Northwest.
Nancy and Art Izer would love for you to visit their pic-
turesque ranch in Terrebonne, where they produce their own
hay, strive for a green planet, design alpaca clothing/quilts,
and have top-line alpacas of every color for you to choose
from! We pride ourselves on sharing our knowledge with
new alpaca owners who want to get started in the business.