Wednesday, July 5, 2017 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
Commentary...
Am I ready? Facing death and grief
By Katy Yoder
Correspondent
This spring, I read Willa
Cather’s novel “Death Comes
for the Archbishop.” I first
read it in college and loved
her writing, but the subject
matter and message didn’t hit
home the way it does now.
When I chose that book many
months ago, I had no idea
how relevant the title would
be in my life. I didn’t make
the connection until 3:33 a.m.
in the morning, when I woke
up and had to write about this
often-avoided topic.
Willa Cather describes the
lives of several characters,
the blessings they gave and
the pain they caused. Some
of the suffering wasn’t their
fault, but most was due to
their misguided actions that
had consequences — for them
and the people around them.
As the characters aged, their
pasts came into sharp focus
and their decisions about
how they’d like to live out
their remaining years became
incredibly important.
Death has been a regular
visitor lately. And once again,
it’s coming. As I take part in
the imminent transition of
a loved one, I’m reminded
of the fact that we all make
the journey. The question is
am I prepared for it? And in
this case are my loved ones
prepared for it? Even if the
thought of talking about death
brings a pain in the chest and
tightening of the throat, that
panic must be overcome and
put in its place. Otherwise,
opportunities will be missed
and the pain of regret will lin-
ger long after death has taken
its quarry.
When our animals are
nearing the end, it’s up to us
to take over and ease them
into final rest. For most
people, that’s not an option.
There’s planning to be done,
regardless of age or our cur-
rent health. There’s advanced
directives and for Oregonians,
death with dignity which, if
started in time, allows a ter-
minally ill person the option
to shorten their suffering and
end their life. The key is to
make these plans long before
an illness takes hold. Death
has its own timetable and it’s
easy to be caught off-guard
and unprepared for important
questions about how we’d
like our death to go.
When I woke, so early that
morning, I heard these words:
“Hope for the best, prepare for
the worst, and then let it go.
In the end, we’re not in charge
anyway.” But there are things
we can do to prepare for the
final journey. Most of us take
more time planning for a trip
then preparing for death.
We’ve got to “pack” for
this one too. Hopefully, prep-
aration begins long before it’s
an emergency. Considerations
abound, not just what we need
to do with our possessions,
money and logistics. There’s
even more important ques-
tions to be answered like have
we forgiven ourselves for
past mistakes? And have we
forgiven those we feel have
wronged us? Is there anything
important we’ve wanted to
do and have been putting off?
Regrets will be there in the
end, no matter what, but for
those we can heal now, why
wait?
Looking back over my
life, I’m asking where I see a
need for healing; for myself
and others. A big one for me
right now is, am I fulfill-
ing my life’s purpose? What
blessings have I been given
that are meant to be shared
with others? How can I best
share those gifts? The saying,
“If not now, when?” Comes
to mind often. And as I wit-
ness the passing of a life well-
lived, I wonder if I would be
at peace, or if I would lay
there wishing I’d done those
things I meant to do.
I teach a class on death and
grief to high school students
with women much more qual-
ified than myself. The main
reason I’m there is because
I have lived through cancer.
Fellow teacher Diane Goble
has written books on dying
and her own near-death-expe-
rience. Her book, “Beyond
the Veil, Our Journey Home,”
is a handbook for those who
choose to get prepared for
the journey we will all take.
It covers important topics
like the steps we can take to
ensure our wishes are known
and followed when we are
making our transition out of
our physical body and back
into the spiritual realm.
Her book also asks
important questions for lives
still in progress. To face these
questions is to face our mor-
tality, and that is hard to do.
For some it’s close to impos-
sible, and they will wait until
it’s too late. Ignoring death
will not hasten its coming,
but eventually the day for
our departure will arrive. The
question is will we be ready to
go when it does?
It’s not my intention to
be a downer and depress-
ing. I’m no expert but I’ve
noticed that there’s a sense
of peace that comes with fac-
ing uncomfortable topics. At
first it’s scary, but once the
door has been opened most
people feel relieved when
it’s been addressed. Taking
the time to write down your
advanced directive eases
anxiety for loved ones and
removes doubt about what’s
the best course of action. It’s
an act of love and a gift for
those who will guide and care
for you until you begin the
next great adventure. Until
then, let’s all laugh, love, give
often and take full advantage
of the blessings we’ve been
given.
Officer
shoots dog
at Rainbow
festival
CANYON CITY, Ore.
(AP) — A U.S. Forest Service
officer shot and killed a
pit bull at the Rainbow
Family gathering in Eastern
Oregon.
The Forest Service says the
officer was counting cars in a
parking lot Tuesday when he
saw two unleashed dogs. One
of the dogs charged and was
shot once. The dog died at
an animal hospital in Canyon
City.
An independent investiga-
tor will investigate the inci-
dent that sparked an angry
reaction from the dog’s own-
ers and other attendees.
The counter-culture peace
gathering began in 1972 and
occurs each year in a different
national forest.
As many as 20,000 peo-
ple are expected for this
year’s festival in the Malheur
National Forest.
Welcome
Quilters!
Sew on to
Success!
Stop by and visit with Tiana Van Landuyt & Shelley Marsh.
220 S. Pine St., Ste. 102 | 541-548-9180
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PHOTO BY GARY MILLER
37
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