Wednesday, June 7, 2017 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
Commentary...
On pomp, circumstance
and everyday heroes
By Kit Tosello
Columnist
This week when our
youngest graduates along-
side the rest of the Sisters
High School Class of 2017,
our family will count it a
profound miracle.
You see, early in her
sophomore year we were
forced to let that expecta-
tion go. Broadsided by the
onset of strange and scary
symptoms, she received
an unusual diagnosis:
Pediatric Autoimmune
Neuropsychiatric
Disorders Associated with
Streptococcus Infections
(PANDAS). For the next
two-and-a-half years, we
did our best to cope with a
rollercoaster of physical and
emotional challenges, with
no promise of a cure. And
it brought out the worst and
the best in us.
So this is to thank the
many of you who prayed us
through to the other side—
to healing. We’re indebted
to Dr. Kevin Miller, who
somehow pulled off an early
diagnosis of a disorder few
physicians nationwide were
even aware of. And to all
the teachers and adminis-
trators who offered Chelsea
a ready smile or practical
support. Thank you also to
Aspire and SistersGro, not
to mention the array of local
scholarship donors who rec-
ognized her and her peers.
Amazing. Your generosity
encouraged us greatly, as
I’m sure it did others, and
sends ripples of change well
beyond Sisters.
Our season of pain grew
me. I now know what it feels
like to want more for your
child. To avoid social events
because it hurts to explain
how things are so different;
why our daughter isn’t par-
ticipating in things she used
to, including school. I’ve
even averted my eyes from
The Nugget Newspaper,
afraid I’d run into positive
stories that might sadden me
for things lost. On my worst
days, I winced opening to
the Honor Roll, or articles
detailing the accomplish-
ments of so many remark-
able students who’ve been
our girl’s classmates since
kindergarten. Comparing
our kids doesn’t sit right.
But for a while there, it
became easier not to open
the paper at all. I’ve had to
forgive myself.
And whenever I
lamented how I just wanted
the best for her, there they
were, words that always trip
me up: I want. Parenting
has never been about me.
Besides, might my idea of
what’s best be limited? I
don’t pretend to understand
why God allows suffering.
But I know he redeems it.
Today, in the very places
our daughter was injured,
vibrant shoots of new life
spring. Strong shoots, pur-
poseful and beautiful. I
join now with other par-
ents who’ve witnessed how
young people who suffer
greatly often grow expo-
nentially in ways that mat-
ter most.
I’m learning to exchange
my idea of best for what
may be God’s idea of better,
watching her toolbox fill
with gear she’ll use to serve
a world in need: empathy,
longsuffering, persever-
ance, mercy, hope. And love
that’s tough as nails. Her
disorder even helped inform
her education goals and
career path. So this is also
a tribute to our overcomer,
Chelsea.
Finally, I want to rec-
ognize and applaud the
parents of kids who will
never make the paper. Who
won’t master a foreign lan-
guage or win a race. Or
place second. Or tenth. This
is for the moms and dads
with children who, every
day, endure challenges we
know nothing about. These
parents are heroic, quietly
caretaking children, some
of whom may never even
develop into fully indepen-
dent adults. Whenever they
open the newspaper and
cheer for our kids who will,
they display a bravery I
aspire to.
As our graduates set out
on their own, may we par-
ents of the Class of 2017 be
deeply grateful they have
the capacity to do just that:
set out on their own. And
may each of us, as parents
of emergent adults, grow
in new ways ourselves,
expecting our kids to do
great things, yes! But also
anticipating they will face
setbacks and seasons of
pain. Perhaps they must.
For these are the life expe-
riences that will, we pray,
transform them into the kind
of grownups who can open
the paper in any season and
cheer wholeheartedly for
everyone else.
For more information
about PANDAS, visit www.
pandasnetwork.org.
23
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