Wednesday, January 6, 2016 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
Life with a
Willing
Heart
Jayson Berray
Columnist
Appreciating —
not just enduring —
family
Thanksgiving, Christmas
and New Year’s represent
many things. Chief among
them is time with family.
And what can be said
about family? There is
an old adage that says,
“You can’t live with them
and you can’t live with-
out them.” Around this
time of year, late-night
talk shows poke fun at the
notion that Thanksgiving
and Christmas are the only
times you have to suffer
through being with your
family and then the rest of
the year you can go back to
living your own life. To a
degree, I suppose I under-
stand that, but on the other
hand I wonder if this is what
we have been reduced to as
a society. Have we come to
believe that the very people
who have given us life and
who know us the best actu-
ally don’t get us at all? Or
is it simply the fact that
all too often our own flesh
and blood are the ones who
fall victim to our incorrect
assumptions?
I have been married
twice. So that means that I
have my own family, then
I got to know another fam-
ily, and now I am getting to
know yet another. Through
my experiences I have come
to wonder why it is that we
want to get as far away
as possible from the very
people without whom we
would not exist. Don’t get
me wrong, I understand that
sometimes in life some of
the most messed-up people
you deal with are actually
a part of your own family,
but why is that? Are they
really that way or have we
unfairly assigned that iden-
tity to them simply because
they are a part of our fam-
ily and deep down we are
not happy about something
within ourselves? Why is it
that our relatives are often-
times the victims of our
most vicious accusations
with regard to the things we
have come to struggle with
as we enter into and expe-
rience adulthood? Perhaps
I am naïve, but shouldn’t a
person’s family members be
the most revered individuals
in his or her life, and is not
this the case in many other
cultures throughout the
world?
I think I may have raised
more questions here than
I am actually equipped to
answer, but one thing I
have realized as I have got-
ten older is that it’s OK to
let questions hang in the air
for a while for the sake of
pondering what they mean.
Are we most critical of
the people in our families
because they are the few
people in the world who tell
us the most about ourselves,
oftentimes non-verbally?
Is it fair that just because
a person is a blood rela-
tive that he or she should
be categorized as a person
with whom as little contact
as possible should be main-
tained? Or is it that they are
the ones who are the most
capable of revealing the
insecurities that lie deep
within us?
I have known a lot of
people over the years, and
many of them have or have
had an avoidance-or-endur-
ance attitude toward their
close and extended family
rather than what I would
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consider an appropriate
eagerness to be around
them, especially during the
holidays.
I supposed that one of
the main lessons I have
learned in my life is this:
You don’t get to choose
your family, and your fam-
ily doesn’t get to choose
you, but the rest is up to
our free will. More of life
than we realize comes down
to our capacity to choose.
Can you control the type of
people your family mem-
bers are? I think you know
the answer to that. But can
you control how you act and
react to them? Yes.
What if we decided that
the time has come to stop
choosing to simply endure
our family once or twice a
year and actually took the
step of appreciating them
and enjoying them? Being
newly married and getting
to know a new group of
people has taught me the
worth of this choice, and
while I still have a lot to
learn, I am proud to have
made the decision to start
appreciating the folks who
have been placed in my life,
because I will always have
much to learn from each of
them.
Sisters
Acupuncture
Center
11
photo provided
outlaws Together Bingo will feature a silent auction.
Outlaws Together hosts
community bingo
Join the Outlaws for a fun,
family-friendly evening out
in Sisters Country.
Outlaws Together Bingo
is scheduled for Monday,
January 11. Doors open
at 5 p.m. for dinner, and
bingo starts at 6:30 p.m.
at the Sisters High School
C o m m o n s ( 1 7 0 0 W.
McKinney Butte Rd.).
The cost for 11 games
is $15 — including Bingo
Blackout with the grand prize
Making the cut
of a 64 GB Apple iPad Mini
3. All proceeds benefit the
Sisters High School Athletics
Department. A $2 community
dinner sponsored by Sisters
Park & Recreation District
will be held prior to bingo. As
always, the night will include
a silent auction.
For more information on
Outlaws Together events,
contact Tim Roth at 541-549-
4050 or tim.roth@sisters.k12.
or.us.
i n style!
J Julia
li Wi
Wieland-Smith
l d S i hL
L.Ac.,
A LMT
Greg Wieland L.Ac.
541-549-1523
352 E. Hood Ave., Ste. E
HERBOLOGY • MASSAGE • NUTRITIONAL COUNSELING
Licensed since 1989
152 E. Main Ave. • 541-549-8771
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