Wednesday, August 5, 2015 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
Of a certain age…
By sue stafford
Columnist
I may sound old-fash-
ioned, or maybe just old,
but it appears to me that as
a country, as a culture, even
as a small Central Oregon
town, we are in an ongo-
ing decline when it comes
to everyday civility. It even
seems like I have seen that
word mentioned a number of
times in the last few weeks
— and always referring to a
lack of it.
I watch the TV news any
night and see a growing
onslaught of rudeness on the
part of our politicians — in
the U.S. Congress, in the
run-up to the 2016 election.
The office of President of
the United States used to be
shown some level of respect,
but when citizens of South
Carolina chose to greet our
African-American president
by waving Confederate flags
at his arrival, civility was
nowhere to be seen. When
an elected official calls the
president a liar from the
floor of Congress, respect
for the office seems a distant
concept.
Un fo rt u n at el y, “Th e
Donald” seems to think he
can say whatever he wants,
wherever he wants, to
whomever he wants, regard-
less of the truth, or lack
thereof, in his statements,
regardless of whom he
offends. It seems that all the
attention the media is giv-
ing to his uncivil discourse
has caused other Republican
candidates to jump on the
bandwagon of bad manners.
Trump has lowered the bar
of civility and, like the Pied
Piper, he has been followed
into the muck by his fellow
candidates, who are trying to
garner some of the headlines
for themselves.
Someone I was discuss-
ing this with last week used
a perfect phrase to describe
what is going on in our
country — “the coarsening
of culture.” To be coarse is
to be harsh or grating, lack-
ing refinement, unpolished,
vulgar or obscene. A survey
of popular music, current
TV shows and movies, fash-
ion, and everyday conver-
sation appears to bear out
the idea that our culture is
becoming coarser. Profanity
is used like a punctuation
mark. Hollywood stars
seem intent on appearing in
greater states of undress each
Oscar season. Every sitcom
and drama on TV seems to
revolve around actual or
insinuated sex and infidel-
ity. Some R-rated movies of
today would have been con-
sidered pornographic in ear-
lier decades.
The development that
troubles me most is the
seeming deterioration of
civility right here in Sisters.
In public meetings and in
letters to the editor there
seems to be an undercurrent
of anger and rudeness that is
driven by assumptions and
accusations that are held as
truth often without check-
ing the facts or asking those
involved. There seems to be
a “my way or the highway”
attitude. People’s minds are
made up and closed.
What I have loved about
Sisters for most of the last 11
years is the small-town feel
where people go out of their
way to be helpful and kind.
And that quality is still here.
But I fear the public face we
are presenting to our visitors
and surrounding neighbors in
Central Oregon is one of dis-
cord, fault finding, and law-
suits. The weekly letters to
The Nugget are often hostile,
accusatory or disrespectful in
tone. The Bend Bulletin has
picked up on this in several
recent articles. I even saw
several posts on Facebook
just this morning referencing
this development. Certainly
we can share our opinions
in a respectful way and find
ways to actually get things
done.
How I think and act and
speak contributes to the over-
all atmosphere and attitude
in Sisters. I choose to con-
duct my daily business with
everyone I meet in a cordial,
respectful manner. My work
with others is more easily
accomplished if I approach it
with curiosity and an attitude
of cooperation and compro-
mise. I don’t have to be right
all the time; the relationships
are what matter.
The most important char-
acteristics I think a person
can possess are empathy
and compassion. If I am able
to understand and identify
with another’s struggles or
pain or life circumstances,
then I will be less prone to
condemn, criticize, or chas-
tise them for their behavior
and choices. If I can imag-
ine on an emotional level
what someone else may be
experiencing, I will have
compassion for and appre-
ciation of their situation.
Can we as a community,
working together, find a suit-
able compromise regarding
the proposed paved bike trail
between Sisters and Black
Butte Ranch? Surely an
equitable solution in which
parts of everyone’s hopes are
met can be worked out.
How about looking for
the best in our City staff,
elected officials, and volun-
teers who willingly agree to
serve our community? Let’s
show them appreciation for
what they do well. When
we disagree, let’s address
the issues with respect in a
cooperative manner, to find
common ground. If there
are things that need to be
changed or corrected, be
willing to be a positive part
of the solution.
I hope we can “polish
up” our communal attitudes
and behaviors to match the
shiny new storefronts, beau-
tifully landscaped streets,
and the gorgeous natural set-
ting which we are all fortu-
nate to call home. After all,
the Three Sisters are named
Faith, Hope and Charity —
not Disrespect, Discord and
Division.
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