Himiwtamwiffl'iuir.ww'M
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DAILY CAPITAL JOURNAL, flALBM, ,OREQON, THURSDAY, AUGUST 17, 160S.
1EEING
THINGS IN
JONDON
Sasy Ways of Spending Time and Money
Political Pogess American
Customs Abroad
By Robert J. Burdette
3
nnit r ttr 11 .j .-j.
i.. ..w. yuonacovi ami .air. tollman.
; London,
louder nt
July
In
20. First thing you
London is how cheap
irerjthlng isl Youcangot .so many
blags for a penny. In fact you can
everything for n penny. Being an
acrlcan, whon you lay down six
which la first cousin two
bnta older than a dime, for a penny
per, which the newsboy, who is any
Ihcro from twonty-flvo to nlnoty
ars old, Informs you Is a "piper,"
oa walk away without, your change,
iMch ho calls "chynge." That Is, If
on wait for it, ho docs. But if you
Llk away, ho calls it the eternal,
rcrlastlng, ubiquitous, irritating
ajtlish "Thank you I" with an indo-
trlbnblo rising inflection on tho
a sox-rosorvatlon becauso wo havo
yet to go to Paris, where men do not
buy clothes. At least, not to wear
thomselvcT. But "ihTEnglIsh'tall5rs
thoy will fuss over you, they will
try on clothes for you at ovor stop in
ine courso of tho construction, thqy
will go to ondless pains with you,
thoy will put in the best work in
orery part of a suit, thoy will sow on
buttons for eternity and work button
holes as indostructiblo as hawso
holes, thoy will work for tho tourist
as conscientiously as for tho King,
anil tho suit will cost just half, or
loss than one-naif as much as you can
got it for at homo. Thoy do better
work, I think, for Americans than for
nfow days you spend tholr wn P000- Thnt is; M ihW
nates llko a lnV in the novela of, J """wivcb, mo Americans wear
typo so dear, in America, to tbot,,olr Cl0tllC8 Bmttrlor" tuan English,
t of what Is known in tho bost of """ "" B' ars nis
. . .. ..... frnflk print ttint .' wtint Vi ..nil. U
n own socioty ns tno "sicking . ; " . " """ "" "'
no lujrui nuiuncnnB can u a 1 rinco
btou." xor
But tho -second 'girl's .duke
ends ponnles thus lavishly only in
it novol. After a day or two you go
tho bank pronounced, by tho Bus
Inductor, "bonk" with your letter
1 credit and a frown like a villain's
tho third act. You haven't spent
I thing but ponnlos', but your money
all gone. Littlo by llttlo it dawns
ton you that whllo you havo spent
plhing but pontiles, you havo spent
lem incessantly, all day long, ovory
Ifnuto, for ovorything you sow, did,
It, looked nt or naked for. That's all.
pr ono thing, if you aro old as I am,
English penny is an honost dims of
just the sizo of tho old-time
nerlcan cent which, was current
pney of tho morchnnt whon your dnd
a boy, and was a real William
innings Bryan cent, with a cent's
ortb of copper in it, by fair weight.
doesn't occur to you, until you sit
fcwn and consldor whllo you wait in
Is hunk, that tho English penny is
ko Amorlcan cents. And, it is worth
tern. It is HKo ovorytning oiso img-
hh, honest as its natno. For in'
luce, as the boy nnd I passod a bar
jer shop, I observed that ono could bo
tatly shaved for four penco. Now,
lad never had a four-cent shava in
ny llfo. How rooiisu to snnve one's
rlf when ono could havo a valet to
bve ono for four cents. 8o I said to
h hov, "Go toj I will havo a four
fent shave." 'And tho boy said, "Go
ko, for I likewise will chanco it." Ho
n't tho klpd of ft boy to soe his old
atheur Tush madly into unknown perils
td not stand by him. So ho wont in.
unemployed man 'administered
list he called a "sbyvo." About the
jl you get down on tho Plaxa end
Spring street. Two days under tho
n and tips on the races for one
e. Then ho wantod to know "if I
wted my face washed." Cert.
enny, Then, "Did I want my hair
wbedl" Cert.' Tenny. "Did I want
T coat brushed!" Naturally. Penny.
Did I want something antiseptic and
eling, such as bay rum, Tubbed on
J fare!" Course. Ponny. until,
7 the time ono got out of the ah op,
fl lad had, and paid for, J fifteen-
t shave, That 'a all. Things in
Cwope look cheap, until you como to
for them. Then they cost coiff. In
fyi if memory serves mo correctly,
' paid for tho article wo boug"ht,
k we paid for tho -wrapping paper,
&w for tho string, thon for eaeh knot
k ulesman tied Id it. An extra for
little loop wherewith to hang it on
enr finer. And in Syria, -the mer-
jkt charged is broker's c6mmisBion
:r making change. Things don't cost
much at first price, tut overy last
Tllne. thread. Vnol. Anil' eOD
Pat them costs something.
ra is ona exeentfnn. Clothes.
P" clothes, that is. I epeak with
Albert" unbuttonod, and tho fit of it
is n6t so pfociso. Tho American buys
a ton or flftcon dollar waistcoat,
which ho calls a vost, then puts on a
flat scarf, and buttons his "Prlnco Al
bert" until a dotectivo couldn't swear
that ho had on a shirt, lot nlono a
"weskit." But hero, I am not doing
"mail shopping" for Los Angoles.
Some Things.
You know how slow wo all know
that England, and especially London,
is, compared with our Amorlcan pro
grosslvoncas. I havo thought of that
so many times riding on the top of tho
electric car. All trolley earn which
wo English call "eloctrle trams" nre
fitted with tho roof garden, or upper
dock. It is tho favorito placo for all
pooplo, savo in rainy weather. If
tho English wero not so slow thoy
would catch onto tho American idea
of putting "hanging straps" insldo.tho
cars, so that tho passengors could bo
drlvon into tho car with a mallot, and
tho oxtra sovonty-fivo could bo com
pelled to hnng on tho swaying straps
nnd stand on tho fcot of tho sitting
mombors. This is no doubt much bet
ter than giving ovory passenger a
comfortable seat as thoy do in slow
old England. And oleotrio 'buses
they aro ns common in slow old Lon
don as aro tho antiques that aro
drawn by horses in our own llvo and
wldo-awako and up-to-dato town, to
say nothing of Chicago and Now York.
Wo ought to send sorao missionaries
ovor to London. Then they could
como back and teach us how to do
somo things.
And Others.
And then again, somo things are
odd. For iastanco this morning I went
into tho pcftoffico and bought some
stamps. I tenderod in payment a
Bank of England note a five pound
note. My month's salary.
Tho obliging clork handed mo a pen
and' asked me to indorse tho note with
my name and residence, I never felt
so "chesty" in my lifo. That I should
be asked .to indorso the paper of tho
Bank of England I I did It, very
promptly. Anything to oblige a friend
in need. So long as my credit is good
In tho markets of the world, tho paper
of the Bank of England shall not be
shaved on the streets. I suppose, with
all the enormous expenses of such a
country as this, the government has to
have a little help from its friends onco
in a whllo when money la tight. I'm
not a bit worried about it, you know.
I think I will send word around to the
bank that I can- go on their paper for
fifty, if-they don't want-it too long. I
reckon whon that note of mine got
back to the bank, the governor looked
at it longingly and said, "I wish we
could get that man's namo
papor for $175."
nh.l rl.. n-f t... .. . '
...... wiBc iwm nnu tne rest or tliOj
nion In the banks at home to rcmombcS
what tho Bank of England thinks oh
my namg, when thoy.got into, a pinclf
iihiici, wiicn j. o. mat concerns
me tho most.
A Correct Answer.
One thing I would like to knoV
about tho Bank of England notes.
And that Is why a bank clerk, when
j-ou indor.so t'ho note for him an ask
him to gtvo you chongo for it,
tears off a little corner of it. I don't
bellcvo ho knows why, but he' always
does It. Tho only ono I over asked to
glvo mo a reason for it said ho Jidn't
know.
Clean Money.
You novcr handle any dirty Bank of
England notes. As soon as ono is paid
into tho bank it Is canceled nhtt stored
away, ami a now ono issued. A noto
may loavo tho bank in tho morning,
fresh from tho printing press, and re
turning, bo canceled before tho close
of banking hours. They are printed
on whito paper about the sizo of com
mercial noto paper letter papor I
mean. And I never saw ono thnt
wasn't whito and clean. When nn
American teller thinks of tho filthy old
bundles of smell and contagion that ho
has to handle, it's enough to make
him wish ho was an Englishman, in
splto of the fact that thoy aro so slow
'ovor hero. They will put a bank noto
into cojd storago after using it
twenty-four hours and mako a now
one. rather than handle the old stuff
a socond time Slow system, isn't itt
This alow old bank issues about CQ,000
now notes ovory dny, the valuo thoroof
ranging from $25 to $.1000. Tho bank
building is ono story, irregular in
shapo, covers an area of fuur acros,
and thcro is not a window in tho outer
walls. All tho papor money is printed
in tho building. Tho canceled notes
nro kept for flvo years in tho "Old
Noto Ofllco," in caso thcro should ariao
somo necessity for using any of thorn
in a law suit. Every week, the notes
canceled in tho corresponding week of
five years ago nro burned In a furnace
specially constructed for that purpose
So I may yet havo to pay that noto
indorsed so readily and thoughtlessly
this morning. Well, I shan't worry.
It won't bo tho first time I'vo been
stung. Not by a furnace full. I do
not feel at all unoasy, but I do hope
on our
I want Mr. Mead,
mimiii iiiimiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniiw"'
. . . - m jhim "m
SALEM SAW MILLS
Now is the time to buy your Winter
Slab Wood
?
Single load . ...
10 loads
Flooring, "No. 1
Flooring, No. 2 ....
Flooring. No. 3
1.75
ie.50
28T0O
28.50
15.00
JheChas. K. Spaukftig Loggjng.Cg
war won't break out between tho
United States and England' for six
years to come, any how.
One placo anywhore in old England
you do get your full money's worth.
Thnt is in any good family hotel.
Writing ahead, our rooms woro al
ready preparod for us in London, so
wo camo straight from the train to
our hotel, down in tho midst of things.
Whon tho English landlady has your
rooms roady, thoy aro ready. Tho
smallest dotnils for your comfort
havo been anticipated. Servants in be
wildering numbor, trained to tho per
fection of ready courtesy, wait on you
so deftly you don't know that you aro
being cared for. The rooms aro fur
nished in honio-y way. Good pictures
not advertising chromos on the
walls. Old furniture that gladdens tho
artistic eyo and "breathes comfort"
Breakfasts, luncheons, teai dinner
and suppers at any and all unheard of
and impossible hours you can suggest,
nnd any old whero you want them.
You smilo at the absence cf the elec
tric bell, but you quit smiling when,
before tho tinkling of the old-fashioned
jangler has ceased to vibrate, a
servant stands waiting for your order
with lips framed for tho everywhercr
and-all-tho-timo English. "Thank
you!" Tho more intimately you know
English pooplo and English ways, the
better you like them. They have the
art of being comfortablo to perfec
tion In everything except their
clothes. And tho menwijl wear frock
coats and silk hats "hats of the high
C8t" to business, and on the hottest
days. If only thoy could teach the
world to drcs as comfortably as they
themselves live, what a boon it would
be. I think I can see signs of roform
in the matter of the high hat. The
'bus drivers aro beginning to discard
them, even on the Sabbath day. That
is a hopeful indication. Hitherto the
Meh' of "Half red" on his 'bus seat,
has been as sacredly a part of the gen
eral "London General's" outfit, as the
advertisements of various foods,
milks, and things which cover, oblit
erate, deface and hide names which
indicate tho route and destination of
the omnibus. This you ascertain by
getting on all the wrong buses In suc
cession until you find tho last one, the
right one. By which timo you have
arrived, so it is all right after all. Or,
you can ask a policeman in the first
place. And if there Is anything about
London a London Bob doesn't know,
I haven't found it out.
Tho Tipping Nuisance.
To get back to matters financial,
as this seems to bo a sort of mone
tary letter, there is one thing new
in London to my eyes. And that Is a
system of restaurants scattered over
the town, here and there, thiek as the
"surpassing off" plates at horns,
with great black-letter placards stuck
up on tho walls, Informing thd guosta
that tho waiters nro forblddon to ro
coive "gratuities," nnd requesting tho
patrons not to' offer "tips." This In
London. Well, if ,tho English people
can carry this reform through, nnd
load tho world to follow their exam
ple., "Magna Chnrta" will take second
place in the historical running. Thoro
will bo hope of salvation ovon for tho
Pullman sleeping-cnr company. Which
is impossible. This roformnjipn is not
merely an English necessity. ho tip
ping nulsanco is much worso In the
United States. A "penny" doesn't go
with tho gentleman from tho North
of Ireland or South Carolina or
Darmstadt who brings you soup with
his thumb in it. A quarter or nothing.
Thnt is a shilling. Moreover, if your
go. away without tipping tho London
waltor, ho looks hurt. PJsMbly, if he
has boon badly trained, Jndignnnt. If
ho doosn't caro for his job, ho may
say somothtng after you that you can
hear. Tho same man in America will
sayi or do something insolently, as
though you had not paid your bfll.
Imitations are always exaggerations
of tho original, especially when a
fault is lmitatod. I supposo that is
ono reason why tho tipping custom
is so much moro irritating in America
than it is abroad. It is natural over
her p. It la In tho atmosphere People
nro born to it. It has, indeed, a noblo
pedlgrco. It Is n lineal descendant of
"largosso," which tho nobla lord, hav
ing wrung by the millions from his
subjects, used to distributo a handfu
nt a time, onco overy fifteen or twenty
yoars. Small handfuln and only a
few Of them. It was looked upon ns
noblo beyond all measure "When an
Amorlcan docs much the same thing,
and thon scatters his amassed mil
lions over tho country in colleges and
libraries, a howl of "tainted monoyl','
goos up from overybody who doesn't
got any of it; from everyono who is
too old to go to collcgo, or too stupid
to pass tho cntrnnco examinations,
or who hates to road. Our ancestors
oallod It "largesse." Wo call it
"graft." Which Is much tho same
thing, only dlfforont. Tho same differ
ence thoro is botweon "Gulllaumo"
and "Bill." I think tho lattor appel
lation, in both instances, is tho honest
or, If you hoar it, or soo it in print,
without seeing the man, you may be a
llttlo bit uncertain as to tho sex of
"Onlllaumo," and it dees sound some
thing liko a now kind of sauco for the
fish. Bub you're dea& certain about
"Bill." And if woca'lled a grafter a
"thlof," I think wo woul deal moro
promptly and moro justly with his ofr
fensos. "Graft" Is ono of tho bits of
American slang, by tho way, that is on
tho road to tako its placo in tho best
English eocloty. You can hear it, not
infroquontly, In tho dobatcs in tho
IFouso of Commons, And possibly, nay,
probably I think, indeed, certainly
in tho House of Lords. It hns mado
iU appearance in tho investigation of
tho "army stores" scandal. Of this
inquiry I need mention but ono itom
to mako the wholo matter clear and
plain as daylight to tho Amorlcan
mind. In tho sale of "surplus stores"
during tho war in South Africa that
is much tho same, I understand, as
"condemned stores" in our army af
fairs cor tain largo quantities of "sur
plus oats" woro sold to a contractor
at soven shillings per. And tho next
day well, say tho following week
tba samo lob was bought back from
the samo man for army uso at eleven
shillings per.
Say, the way these English cousins
of ours aro picking up good old Amer
ican customs they'll bo electing their
Kings in another generation. Beats
overything how rapidly the world is
bocomlng- civilized. There wasn't a
quartormastor in the Spanish war
who could have done anything neater
than that, .Why" that isn't business.
That's clean statesmanship. An Eng
lishman wl)o can do that at home
could buy his way into the United
States senate if he'd come over to
tho Home of -tho Bravo. It gives a
"Freeman" a very comfortablo feel
ing, whon he is traveling abroad, to
know that his neighbors are kept to
busy cleaning their own chimneys
that they have no time to bring com
plaint agaiust him under tho "smoke
ordinance." When we finally do get
together and begin, the reformation of
this old world, there's no uso of talk
ing about "beginning at Jorasalom."
It's got to be a Hound Bobln move
ment. Kobort J. Burdette, in Los An
geles Times.
CASTOR I A
Tor Infants sail Ghilirw.
k m Yh Kin Afwayt Ntl
n
Bear Uis
fUg&ut&reof
&&&
your
His Semser Qaeet,
Nodd Whero did you spend
TseationT
Todd Looking for a place where I
could be eossfertabls, Brooklyn Life
Salem, One Day Only
Wed.. August 23
On grounds at Southern Pacific Depot. Taly Amerfca'M
Only Real Representative show
EWoRUURGEST.GRANDST.BESTANUSEHEfTINSTrnrriON,
AMERlfAS REAL RURESENTftnYE SHOW, .-
Sr
,7GC5i!iS,wuarrs. uo7 I"
SB. LBHSBlBSliaSSr' p- j-j IBB
RawilM M;
tJllr UFft'ul'9 or
Ai? mll oOjJii-"ALL.THK DCSTAMUSCMtHl IDEAS.
2-.UU) avtmiHS ?;'fAiicirr Mint feiurui rattiM imui
-"- ASJSI" BRIDGtPOaT.CONN. SteOAIYSOUAMleilBOKDlOA
main umrorncii-NEW YORK CITY. lltttarrrHuKW.rMuirKuuaCV
COHDUCTJlD'ON S0UNDBU3IHE3S RIHCII1X3-PAILY tXPEHSXAtiaCOW''
TUB ONLY OntOUS BVEB, EXHIBITING m NEW YORK
Or that has vlsltod tho capital cities of Europe, exhibiting beforo tho
crownod heads and ruling families of tho world. Overflowing with dolights
for children, crowded with thrilling sonsatlone for scientists, teeming wilh
charming foaturcs for ladles.
MOST POPULAR AMUSEMENT BNTBRFBISB ON EASTH.
. .Prosonting Exclusive Features only Possible of Exhibition with this Show
THE GORGEOUS DURBAR AT DELHI
Reproduced1 precisely as it took plico in India, before tho' "Viceroy' and
Vlcorlno. '
SIX SURPASSING, SUPERIOR, SUPREME, SENSATIONAL SURPRWEjII
Scon solely with theso Shows, Stnggorlng and stunning all spectators.
Presenting for tho first timo in Amorica
The Dip of Death
Startling ad Stupendous Parisian Sensational Scs;crsr.fttt Surprise
A Lady Looping the Gap in
an Automobile
A Fascinating, Fearful, Flitting Fugndious Frolio with Fnto. The absolute'
limit to which mortals may tempt death with Impunity.
H
TITO mOKEST PRICED ATTRACTION BVER KNOWN
Noarly $5,000 Cash for 48 seconds' Topay-Turvy Auto Hide.
Just think of it I A young lady receiving $100 cash overy clock tiok for
a somersault in an nutomobile.
An absolutely amazing nnd astounding automobile act.
VOLO, the VOLITANT
ARonma an aerial abyss in defiance or death, .the mom
rEARLESS AERIAL BI0Y0LB ACT EVER DEVISED.
B'y i-5-J&si,?E:
InCSMMATt
rvr
w eogpHiCMB ftmaaan. cizaaraKSras w.i
DUAL DEEDS or DESPERATE DEATH-DEFYINO DASINO
FEARFUL, FRIGHTFUL, FEARSOME, FEARLESS, FASCINATING FBAT
Perfrraod by the Jloit Intrepid Artists in the World
A MYRIAD NEW ATTRACTIONS Or ALL SORTS
100 nets performed in threo and a half hours. Besides tho many mar
volous attractions to bo soen bofore tho performance begins.
r t" -l SJUBMfc-
SSSSSSSSSJBv. j jj iBSS54BtSC!Bc5BHSSSjgCPpAZ - jBSBH
man jumpinq and xono dmtanob leaping tournament
Threo Troups of Acrobats on Three Stages at once, Thirty Clowns in Sixty
Concurrent Acts, Two Terr I lie Japansso Slides for Llfo nt the Same Moment,
Champion Equestrians Hiding Simultaneously In Threo Rings, 'Prodigious
Aerial and around Displays, Tumbling and Leaping Contest, Combats,' Bouts
and assaults. "Speck," tho smallest Horse Ever Discovered, Three
Herds of Elephants, Droves of Camels, a Full Herd of Towering Transvaal
Olraffes, Triple Circus, Double Menageries, Olympic Hippodrome, Aerial En
clave, Court of Games, Sports Arena, Moraus' Realm, Racing, Traek, Acro
batic Plazas, Cycling Clrcr.it, Aviary, Spectacular Amphitheatre and Horse
Fair, in which aro seen
1,000 MEN, WOMENv HORSES, ELEPHANTS AND ANIMAL PRODIGIES
Two performances Dally, at 2 and 9 p. m. Doors open ooo hour earlier or
a tour of the Menageries, Museums and promenade concert.
OENERAL ADMISSION, INOLUDINO SEAT WITH TOOT-REST, 80c.
OHILDRBN UNDER 10 YEARS, HALF-PRICE
Reserved and private box scats extra, according to location. All reserved
vseat tickets are numbered and have soupons. attached. Private box aad re
served seats for sale at Patton Bros.' Book Store, 08 Btate SI., and en the
grounds at hours of opening. All tickets sold at regular prices. Beware of
parties charging- more.
OWING TO THE sWUPRNDOUB SIZE OF THE SHOW NO STREET PA
BADE WILL SB MADS, BUT X BIOB CLASS AND VSSY BXFBNSTVB
FBS SHOWS WILL SB OZTSX OX TUB DHOW ROUXINI XJ4 HOUR
SKFOlfts; TUB DOOibS ABU OFBtf,
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