TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT. OCTOBER 14. 1909
Dining Room of ■ Circuo.
Tbe diM'ipIlne of
army rvlguz au
pretne lu elr< ua life, aud It is always
lute rest Ing to watcb oow tbe thousand
or m< n- people of such an organiza
tion are fed. three meals a day without
a blteb a off as silently as In a big
hotel
Tbe grass serves as a carpet,
and the forty or more waiters move
quickly In and out. Tbe kitchen tent
is completely equipped with pastry
ovens, warming tables, steam vats for
stewing, steam urns for cotfee and tea.
boiling ovens aud numberless other
cooking utensils. Tbe force of cooks
numliera sixteen, including tbe three
which tend tbe campfire, at which
nothing but soup is prepared. Tbe
ranges fold up and are carried in
wagons, and the tents are lighted with
electricity at night. It la not unusual
to serve as many as 5.000 pancakes for
breakfast, aud U00 loaves of bread are
used each day. In addition to crackers
and biscuit. Tbe meat consumed each
day is somewhere near 1.000 pounds.
Such provisions as celery, young on
ions. strawberries, radishes, melons,
etc., are bought in eaph town, often
cleaning out tbe entire market. An
advance agent of tbe commissary de
partment keeps well In advance of the
show, contracting for its supplies for
num and beast.—Popular Mechanics.
A Craving For 8weats.
Advocating the use of sweet fruits,
preserves, sugar and good candy by
children. Dr. Woods Hutchinson In
Success says that a craving for sweets
Is nature's call for the substance
w hich Is "a full blown member of the
great trinity of nutrient materials, sug
ar (carbohydrate), meat (protein) and
fat. Sugar is wood. coal, gasoline for
tbe muscle engine. Every time the
tiny engine gives one of its rhythmical
explosions—that is to say, when a mus
cle contracts—a certain amount of sug
ar is burned up. It is fortunate for
people whom a mistaken conscience
deprives of sweets that tbe human
body can manufacture sugar out of
mau.v foods, out of meat. milk, vege
tables and grains; otherwise the body
would go Into the desperate business
of manufacturing sugar out of its own
tissues, which Is precisely what dia
betics did In the days when this dis
ease was supposed to be due to too
much sugar in the food and physicians
tried to cure It by cutting sweets and
sweetmakers out of tbe patient’s diet.
8hak«spa«r* on Baseball.
I will go root.—“Richard III.”
Now you strike like the blind man.—
“Much Ado About Nothing.”
Out. I say!—“Macbeth."
I will be short.—“Hamlet.”
Thou canst not hit it. hit It. hit It!—
“Love's Labour's Lost.”
He knows the game.—“Henry VI.”
Oh. hateful error!—“Julius Caesar.”
A bit. a bit, a very palpable hit!—
“Hamlet."
He will steal, sir.—“All’s Well That
Ends Well."
Whom right and wrong have chosen
as umpire.—“Love's luibour's Lost.”
Let the world slide.—“The Taming
of tbe Shrew.”
He has killed a fly.—“Titus Andronl-
cus.”
Tbe play as I remember pleased not
tbe million.—“Hamlet.”
What an arm he baa!—"Coriolanus.”
They cannot sit at ease on tbe old
bench.—"Romeo and Juliet.”
Upon such sacrifices tbe gods them
selves throw Incense.—"King Lear.”
— Washington Post.
Old Cures.
Tbe antiquary took down a little
gray book. “Here Is a 'family doc
tor.' " he said, “that was published as
fur back as IDOL Talk about your
quaint prescriptions!" Tbe first pre
scription. a truly quaint one. ran; “If
a man be greved wytb the failiage
sicknesses, let him take a tie wolves
bnrte and make It to powder and use
It; but If It be a woman, let her take
a she-wolves harts." A 1501 jaundice
cure wus: "Take eartbwormes and cut
them small, ami brays them wytb a lit
tle wyne so that ye may swallow It;
drlneke the same fasting.” For tooth
ache: "Sesth as tuauy little frogges
sitting upon trees as thou canst get.
In water: take the fat flowynge from
them, and when nede la, anoynt tbe
teth tberwytb.”
Buying the First Bond.
lu tbe Ilves of most |>eople there are
a few moments that are not only big
with Importance, but remain long In
the memory. Due of these moments
may be tbe first sight of tbe ocean;
auotber. when great, anow clad moun
tains first come Into view. Still an
other. though perhapa not quite so ro
mantic. Is that time when tbe average
mao or woman draws bls or bsr sav
ings out of a bank and buys tbe first
bond.—Moody's Magazine.
Sensitive Salmon.
"Spleudld color, Isu't ItF asked a
fishmonger ns he cut a pound or two
of salmou for a customer.
“Yea." replied the latter, “looks as
If It were blushing at tbe price you
ask for it!*'—London Scrape.
An Ancient Sky Pilot.
The Modern Way.
From Gai nett's "Anthology.” volume
: One friend who has s|H-ut a long
land useful life and looks good for an- 7, page 48. 1 copy tbe following. tak*>n
i other half ceutury expects his reward from tbe “Writings of Lucian." a
lu oeaven and meantime is a philos Greek born about 100 A. D.:
"We were suddeuly caught by a
opher
He can talk on any subject
under tbe sun. from "the Hower of whirlwind, which turned our vessel
several times around in a circle witb
|M>eay" to "the precession of the eqnl
| mixes.”
He apimrently knows the I tremendous velocity and lifted it
"Iliad" and “Odyssey" by heart, so I above 3.000 stadia in tbe air. not set
knew that when he handed me a bit tling It down again on tbe sea. but
kept it suspended above the water at
; of verse it must be good.
I “Here Is a hymn on the solar sys ' that height and carried fis ou. with
tem or some other lofty theme.' swelled sails, alajve the eloijjs."
lu these days of air conquest this
thought 1. placing the sheet in my let
ter case. When 1 arrived borne I read: quotation might be of utmost Interest
The llxard climbed a wall. He climbed it to aeronauts and also literary men.
once.
i This ancient Gulliver long preceded
He climbed it twice—then crawled away. ■ Swift, aud as for outdistancing Jules
Verne another quotation Is added:
The bee sipped a flower. He sipped It
once.
“Having thus continued our course
He sipped It twice—then flew away.
through the sky for a space of seven
The man kissed a maid. He kissed her days and as many nights, ou tbe eighth
once.
day we desc ribed a sort of earth in tbe
He kissed her twice—then walked away.
air." etc. (which proved to be tbe
The wall wasn't sunny; the flower had no moon i.
honey;
Tbe thoroughly familiar vernacular
The maid had no money. Funny!
i expression "going some" applies witb
The problem now is whether the con original vigor to this early and per
tribution Is a joke or a gem. —National haps first sky pilot.—New York Times.
Magazine.
An Obliging President.
Pilkerton Won the Race.
During a short lived revolution, says
At one of the regattas of the Na Harper's Weekly, there came to be
tional Association of American Oars
the bead of tbe government in a little
men during the early nineties .lames Central American republic a man who
Pilkerton. for many years the cham was above all things courteous and
pion sculler of America, was matched ! who was. moreover, very anxious to
to row double against another team. gain the good will of the foreign con
He and his mate were the champions, suls. One of tbe latter, having beard
and tbe general belief was that they that a certain countryman of his had
would win without effort.
But the died, addressed a note to the bead of
night before the regatta public opinion the new government. In which he stat
suddenly and mysteriously changed. ed that his own government would be
Mr. Pilkerton knew that this was not grateful for a certificate of death of
caused by any new development of tbe individual in question.
A few
strength In his opponent or any loss of days later the consul received this
skill on bls own part. After making communication:
some quiet Inquiries he discovered that
Esteemed Senor—I blush to say that I
there was talk of bls rowing mate hav cannot at present comply with your ex
cellency's
request tor a death certificate
ing been bought up by the other side
and of an arrangement to throw the ot the man named. 1 sent my soldiers,
but he got away, to my shame. 1 shall
race.
use every effort to catch him. however,
He didn't say anything about his sus and hope to send your excellency the de
picions. but when the two men were sired certificate at an early date.
Needless to say. the cousul lost no
seated in the shell and were well out
Into the deep water he leaned over to time in communicating to tbe obliging
president tbe information that the cer
bls mate and said:
"Look here, you blooming cutthroat! tificate was undesjred. in view of the
You've got to swim, drown or win this fact that the individual was able to
"get away.”
race! You know me!” He won.
Would Bequeath Her Ears.
Harriet Martineau displayed orig
inality In the provisions she made at
one time for the disposal of her re
mains. James Payn relates that, hav
ing consulted Toynbee, the distinguish
ed aurlst. with regard to her deafness,
"she was so pleased with tbe interest
be took in her case that she resolved
to leave him by testamentary bequest
her ears. She announced this inten
tion in the presence of her medical
man. Mr. Shepherd, who to my luti-
nlte amazement observed: 'But. tuy
dear madam, you can't do that. It
will make your other legacy worth
less.' The fact was. In the interest of
science. Miss Martineau had already
left her head to the Phrenological so
ciety.
I asked tbe doctor bow be
came to know that. 'Oh,' be said,
‘she told me so herself. She has left
£10 In her codicil to me for cutting It
off.' ” The doctor, however, died be
fore his patient, and tbe Phrenological
society never received tbe legacy of
her bead.—London Chronicle.
A Cheerful Letter.
The following was sent by a country
man to bls son In college not many
years ago:
My Dear Son—I write to send you two
pair of old breeches, that you may have
a new coat made ot them: also some new
socks, which your mother knit by cutting
down some ot mine. Your mother sends
you 110 without my knowledge, and mr tear
you will not spend it wisely 1 have kept
back halt and only send five. Your moth
er and 1 are well, except your sister An
nie has got the measles, which we think
would spread among other girls It Tom
had not had them before, and he Is the
only one left. I hope you are well and
will do honor to my teachings, it you
do not you are an ass, and your mother
and myselt are your affectionate parents.
—Nantucket Inquirer aud Mirror.
A Nice Bird.
"Do you like a nice bird?" asked the
host as they sat down to the table.
“Ob. yes!” responded the guest im
mediately and enthusiastically.
“You ought to call on my sister," ex
plained the other. "She's got one of
the finest canaries you ever saw. Well,
wbat kind of a sandwich do you think
you can eat?"—London Telegraph.
An Arbitrary Classification.
"So you think every patriot has a
more or less clearly defined nmbitiou
to hold public office?"
"Yes," answered Senator Sorghum.
"As a rule, patriots may be divided
Into two classes—the appointed and tbe
disappointed."—Washington Star.
Badly Expressed.
"For beaveu's sake, be careful with
that rifle, man!" exclaimed a musketry
instructor. "You Just missed me that
time."
"Did I. sergeant? I’m awfully sorry!”
responded tbe ludlffereut marksman.—
London Fun.
A Good Ear.
Mrs. Dyer-Have you ever called on
It Quieted Mother.
the people In the next apartment?
The house was all paid for. Mother
Mrs. Gossip—No; the walls are so was exultant, jubilant, reiterative.
thin that I know all about tbelr af "Say, mother," burst out six-year-old
fairs.—Brooklyu Life.
Paul eagerly, "print It on your cards,
mother, print it on your cards!”—De
A Pessimist.
lineator.
“A pessimist." said tbe philosopher
of folly, “la one who. when he has
The Usual Thing.
the choice of two evitai chooses both
"What> the proper thing at a wed
and sticks around to watt for more"— ding?"
Cleveland Leader.
“Wish tbe pair happiness and tell
everybody else there's no earthly
Both Alike.
chance for It.“—Louisville Courier-
Mother (complatntnglyl—Will aoema Journal.
to have forgotten us at college. Ma
There Is a paradox tn pride—It makes
letters are so short Father (tersely)—
Ro la Will wheu he writes 'em-Balti- some men ridiculous, tat prevents
others from becoming so.—Ooitou
more Atnaricgn.
A West Indian Wife Catcher.
As is customary witb Indians tbe
world over, tbe Carlbs are expert
basket weavers, and many strong aud
handsome baskets are to be bought in
Roseau at reasonable prices if one
finds the right shops, writes Harriet
Quimby in Leslies Weekly. A pecul
iar instrument, made of basket straw
and woven closely together so as to
form a hollow tube ending in a thong
of twisted ends uud commonly dubbed
a wife catcher, is also made and sold
by tbe Carlbs. By slipping tbe hollow
end over a mao's finger above tbe
joint and pulling on the twisted end
the catcher will tighten around the
Unger and the captive will be unable
to release his band. It is claimed that
tbe Indians formerly employed this
device as a handcuff for prisoners,
using several for each hand aud lead
ing tbe captives by tbe fingers. Few
tourists are permitted to leave Roseau
without a wife catcher, for which six
pence Is wlljiugly exchanged.
Tillamook
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HEADQUARTERS FOR
DAIRYMEN’ AND
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STEEL STOVES & RANCES
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We carry a Large Stock of
Hardware, Tinware, Glass
and China,
Oils, Paint, Varnish, Doors, Window
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Fine Line of Choice
GROCERIES
Agents for the Great Western Saw.
ALEX
The Most
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Reliable Merchants in Tillamook County.
;
A
Babies' Bank Accounts.
In Scboeuberg, a suburb of Berlin,
every baby Is born with a bauklng ac
count. No Scboeuberg baby can help
this even If it wants to. The tpunici-
pul regulations provide that whenever
tbe birth of a child is recorded tbe
ottfi lais of tbe municipal savings bank
shall Issue a bank book in tbe said
baby's name. The city itself theu de
posits 1 mark (about 25 cents) and
Immediately allows Jnterest.
With
this nest egg the authorities believe
that the parents of the child will la-
encouraged in thrift and that tbe baby
Itself will have a fair start on the
road to wealth. No withdrawals are
allowed in less than two years, and
the ordinance applies to all children,
whether they are members of poor
families or descended from million
a I res.
Babies are popular In Schoenberg.
The Lost Donkey-
In Turkey they tell stories about
Nasr-ed Din and hlsdonkey. <mcen|>on
a time when tbe donkey was lost Nasr-
ed-Dln went about seeking II. at the
same time giving thanks as he went.
"Why do you give thanks?" asked
his friend. "1 see no cause for thank
fulness."
"Cause enough!" was the prompt re
ply. "Why. tnau alive. If I had been
along with that donkey I'd have been
lost too!”—New York Tribune.
Use For the Anchor.
••Captain." remarked the nuisance
on shipboard who always asks foolish
questions, "what is the object in
throwing tbe anchor overboard?"
"Young man." replied tbe old salt,
"do you understand the theory of
seismic disturbances? Well, we throw
the anchor overboard to keep tbe [
ocean from slipping away In tbe fog.”
Ohl
"How did you act when be pro
posed?"
"I sank gracefully on one knee.”
"How ridiculous! What In the world
did you sink on your knee for?"
"On bis knee, not miue."—Houston
root.
Quits a Difference.
Customer-Can t you give anything
off to a clergyman? Tradesman—Not
In this Instance, sir. You see. these
goods Is different from yours. These
Is guaranteed goods.—Life.
Love, like fortune, turns upon a
wheel and Is very much givei to ris
ing aud falling —Vanbrugh.
FARMERS
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