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About The Columbia register. (Houlton, Columbia County, Or.) 1904-1906 | View Entire Issue (April 29, 1904)
Peculiar Itself 10 In what it U and what it docs con gaining the best blood-purifytap, iterative and tonlo substances and effecting the most radical and per manent cures of all bumoro and all eruptions, relieving weak,' tired, languid feelings, and building tip the whole system Is true only of Hood's Sarsaparltla No other medicine acts like itj no other medicine has done to much real, substantial good, no other medicine has restored health and strength at so little cost. "I u trouble with scrofula tod cub mm loilm mt fght For (our tnonthi eoutd Dot to do anything. AfUr UaJot two bottlts of ilood'i 8rsaparllla I oould set to walk, and Trbn I had taken eight bottls eottld see m wll m erer." 8uus A. LUlB to. Wither. N. a Mood's Sarsapartlla promises) to urojand keeps tho promise). The Hair of the Head. Red haired people are lent subject to baldness thnn others. A doctor ex plaint the matter thue: The hair of the red-headed li relatively thick, one red hair being almost as thick as five or three brown hairs. With 80,000 red hairs the aralp la well thatched, where as with the tame number of fulr hairs one Is comparatively bald. It takes nearly 1(10,000 fair and 103,000 brown hairs to cover adequately an ordinary bead. Conflicting Evldenoe. The Widow I wonder why Mlnenra was railed tho goddes of wisdom f Tho llachclor l'robably because aha wasn't fonlUh enough to marry. The Widow Then why waa Solomon, who had a thousand wives, called the wisest man Eight relatives of Tremlor Sodden of New Zealand draw on an avsrng of 123,000 each , In salary from the gov ernment Hue's Cure U a good couth anodlcine. It haa cured coughs and colds for forty year. At druggists. 2Scantt, The total annual rovtnuo of Russia, according to tho last report, waa SI,- oii.uhmwo. Little Willie. Willie Mr. Oldboy, why do they, aay you are In your aecoud childhood Mother Wllllet Willie Oh, I know; It'a because you are baldheaded. Juat like baby Dick. Uostou Transcript. CITC f'nnantnuy curse- wo at or bwtobiihw 1 1 10 rSnldar'sttseorUr.KllnViUraalNerr (leatorer. Hnd ft.r free SIS trial boiilsend ItmUmi I, M. H. Kiln. Ltd.. to Xrcb nk. 1-hUad.ltthla, P. Continued. We are told that, In many directions, It Is tho ImpoKHlble which Is true. Tor Iiapa the extravagance of the follow ing atory, told by the New York Times, tuny help vouch for Its accuracy: A book club bad engaged In the study of "HaraleL" But two meetings bad taken place whon one member met another at an afternoon tea. "Aren't you dying for the next meet ing of the club?" she asked. 1 don't know. Why?" "Why, because we're studying 'Ham. let'l Aren't you almply crazy to know bow It comes out?" The Canae or Ik "What's tho cause of all this twaddlo about elevating the atage, I'd like to knowr "Want to get It above the level of tho women's hats, I suppose." BOI PYRAMIDS OF PAIN Boils show the blood is in a riotous, feverish condition, or that it has grown too weak and slug- gish to throw off the bodily impurities, which then concentrate at some spot, and a carbuncle or boil is the result. To ono already enfeebled by disesse, boils seem to come with more frequency. causing the intensest pain and greatest danger to the already weak and J 1 a. IT All 1 . ueoimaieu sunerer. ah sum eruptions, irom the sometimes fatal car. buncle to the spiteful little cat-boil, are caused by bad blood, and the only way to avoid or get permanently rid of them is to purify and build up the deteriorated, polluted blood, and counteract the humors and poisons ; and nothing will do this so quickly and thoroughly as S. S. S., which is the acknowledged king of blood purifiers and great est of all tonics. Where the blood has become impoverished and is poor and thin, no medicine acts so promptly in building up and restor ing its richness, purity and sirengin. ine time to cure eanonj. -., e-o.ni,io3. at hnil ia hafartt it rlv1. Jrrom the ago of twenty or thirty I waa aorely a DOU IS Deiore It aevei aimoted wUh law, awful bolla on my faoe and Ops, When it is in a State body. Aa ooon as they would heal up In one plaoe of incuhatinn or form t inn oy would break out in another part of the body, , inCUDMlon or lonnation nd this continued for ten rears. I tried everyi in the blood; for boils are, thing loould boar of to got relief, but nothing after all onlv tha imnuri. did mo any grood. X had but little faith in 8. B. B. auer ail, only me impuri- doing mo good whon X began it, but aiter taking ties and poisons bubbling It for a short while the bolls began to disappear, un throuo-h the akin end Xonnnd on with the medioino, taking elx hot up tnrougn Itie SKin, ana tleo, and all the boile entirely disappeared. Vive mis will continue in spite years nave eispsea ainoe that time, ana X have nf nnulttcirio- and lnnrino- wboon bothered ainoe, showing that the oure 01 poulticing ana lancing WM p,rmM,,t. I had some thlrtr or forty of till tha blood ceta rid nf the moit nalnful holla ana aver had. and to ba ceta rid nf the nuit if.-a..rn1af.J I nA... entirely rid of thorn byyour groat puriflor, US accumulated poison. s. B. B., puts me under debt of gratitude to The way to stop boils is you. . HBNBY ziwtf. to attack them in the;blood, v and this .is what S. S. S. does. All danger of boils is past when the blood has been thoroughly purified and the system cleansed of all mor bid, impure matter. I? you are subject to boils, then the same causes that produced them last season will do so this, and the sooner you begin jI 'j..." i jTt: tkn young, and without harm to the most delicate constitution. It is mild and pleasant in its action, and unequaled as a cure for boils and kindred eruptions, Write us if you would like medical advice or other infonaatioa ; , . ' EZS $V;:jt CFZttfjSl CO., ATlJLTA, CAt Latest Electrical Novelty. Down, near Atlantic City, X, X, there baa been In successful operation for several months an sxperiEecti! trolley road minus the trolley. More sitonlabment sUll there Is no third rail or storage battery to bo sees oa this unique bit of road. Without any apparent means of obtaining the all Important electric current, motor cars will draw a 200,000-pound load oa tola road. Of course, the secret of It tU lies In the application of a new ays teto. Every sixteen feet a point of connection Is established midway be tween, the rails where a metal button projects above a box through which passes the powerful current carried along wires In a subwsy. A person might step on this button and one of the rails st the same time and not receive a shock, but, ss the car passes over, a powerful magnet underneath attracts the button snd In ralalng It establishes the circuit which supplies the motor with enough of the essential fluid to propel the car along the six teen feet of track to another point of contact Tile aavlng of expenses In Installation and maintenance over that of the old systems, the freedom from overhead wlrea which so seri ously Interfere with the fighting of tires In the cities, and the Immunity from fatal shocks which It insures are factors which will no doubt bring about its rapid adoption. Meant What It Bald. Mr. Lelghton has none of the spirit of a bargnln-hunter, and Mra. Lelghton decided that to have hlra accompany her on one of her Monday expeditions waa more of a trial thuu a pleasure, In spite of bis capabilities ss bundle-carrier. "Edward, I wish you would look at that golf vest and see If you don't tiitak it la exactly, In every portlcular, like the one we aaw at Ilrowu'a. That waa only f3.75, and this la $4.23. I'm sure I don't know what they mean by calling these bargulna," aald Mrs. Lelghton. "I csn't see that It says they are bargains on that placard," aald Mr. Lelghton, In an uncomfortably clear tone. "It aaya, 'These goods s.-e being sold regardless of cost' and probably mey are, my dear. Fao'a Abont Japan. Among the Japanese one divorce takes place for every four marriages. The Emperor of Jspan Is the direct descendant of the Emperor Jlrnmu, who ascended the throne 2.504 years sgo, making tho dynasty older than any other dynasty that exists or ever did exist The true name of Korea Is Choeon, meaning "Land of the Morning Calm." it Is by this name that the country Is designated in diplomatic papers at the State Department In Washington. Japanese soldiers are fed on lice, salted fish, dried seaweed and pickled plums a diet that ia almoat univer sal In Japan, except In tiie navy, where ratlona of meat are aerved. Soldiers are allowed meat when on campaigns, but rarely est It Dad aa a Bullet, Hospital I'bjraiclan This man aeoms to be half dead, and yet I cannot find anything the matter with him. Where Is he from? Ambulsnco Driver I got him at tho door of tho St Fashion Assembly Hall. There la a ball going on there. Physician Ah. I see, ' Ho probably stepped on a lady'a drosa aud she said ."Sir!" It All Depends. "They tell mo," aald the youth, "that men who work live longest Do you believe it?" "Well," remarked the sage, "It de pends a good deal on who they try to ork." nmlnfal to put your biooa ana system in gooa order the better the chance of going through the spring and summer season without boils or other painful and irri tating skin eruptions. S. S. S. is guar anteed purely vegetable, and can be with nrfft aaforv hv old and He Why does tbla theater have Its orchestra concealed? She Wbyt Just wslt until you hear It play. Teacher Where was the Declara tion of Independence afgned? Tommy At the bottom. Chicago Dally Kewa. Wantanno Why do you call that boy of yours "Flannel?" Dusno Be cause he Just naturally shrinks from wsshlng. Ediths I wonder why the dudes wear one eyeglass? Deborah To pre vent seeing more thsn they are able to comprehend. "Ma, Is there any pie left in the pantry r "There Is one piece, but you csn't bsve It" "You are mistaken, ma; I've bad It" Kond rarent I understand the fac ulty are very much pleased with your work. Dropped Junior Yes, they en cored my sophomore year. "Grace, can you tell me what Is meant by a cubic yard?" "I don't know exactly, but I guess it's a yard that the Cuban children play In." Old Grim Keiuember, young man, there is alwaya room at the top. Young Sprawley Ob, I know that; I'm waiting for the elevator now. Judge. Lord Llttlecash (lovingly) You are m Clltk V... 1 ttA nana .hot "Ob, what did be aay?" "Bald you didn't earn enough to keep your soul and body together." Nurse Johnny, stop sslrhig your fa ther so many questions. Don't you see It annoys him? Johnny Why, nurse, It's not the questions that make him angry; it'a because be can't an swer them. A husband aald to bis wife: "I dreamed last night that I caught a man' running away with you." "What did you say?" she asked. "I wanted to know what he was running for," re plied the husband. Mrs. Closeflst Oh, do bny me a new bonnet, my desr. It will set sll my friends talking. Closeflst If you're sfter notoriety, why don't you get the old one rctriinmed? That will make your friends talk twice as much. "I see that choice Bengal tigers have been marked down to 100 each.' "For goodness' sake, don't let my wife read that paragraph. Here's my knife. Cut it out If those tigers are on the bargain counter abe'd want at least two." He (bitterly) If I were rich you'd marry me fat enough! She Don't Gussle, don'tl Such devotion breaks my heart! lie What do you mean? She Often you have praised my ' beauty," but never before my' common "Hello, Freddie! Are you playln' robber?" "risyln' nuthln. This Is the real thing. I'm waltln' for the cook, an when she comes she'll tell where she bides the plea, or I'll know the reason why." New York Evening Journal. "John," asked the lawyer's wife, who bad recently taken up the health culture fad, "la it best to lie on the right side or the left aider "My dear." replied the legal luminary, "If one is on the right side It isn't usual ly neceasary to lie at all." Mrs. Youngwed You know Uncle Plncher aald he was going to send us something that would help us save our coal bills this year? Well, it came. Mr. Youngwed Really A stock of coal? Mrs. Youngwed No. A little arrangement for filing bills. He (as they were seated In a quiet nook near the links) Are you quite aure we have never met before this season? She Yes; quite positive. He And you haven't a sister? She No; why do you ask? He Well, I'm positive I bugged that blouse before, somewhere. Call a girl a chick, and she. smiles; call a woman a hen, and she bowls. Call a young woman a witch, and she is pleased; call an old woman a witch, and she Is Indignant Call a girl a kitten, and she rather likes it; call a woman a cat, and she'll hate jou. Queer sex, isn't It? Chicago News. Burglar Gimme yer jewels! Lady of the House Did you shut the win dow after you? Are you sure you wiped your feet? What did you do with that burnt match? Did Bur glar Er I I guess I forgot it. Don't aay another word,-ma'am, an' I'll go right out Chicago News. "Did I understand you to say that you didn't have any company in the kitchen while I was out, Katie?" "Yls, mum, that's what I said." "But I smell the tobacco from a pipe all through the house." "Yls, mum; the policeman was in for half an hour, mum, but we were In the drawing room." . Economical: First farmer Did they hev fire-escapes at the hotel where ye slept Zeke? Second farmer No, but it was the most eckernomlcal tav ern I ever seen. First farmer In what way, Zeke? Second farmer Why, they had a rope hanging in ev ery room, so that you could commit suicide without wastln' the gas, Phil adelphia Telegraph, He Told Her at Last. "There Is something," be said, "that I have want ed to tell you for a long time, but" "Oh," Bertie," she said, blushing sweet ly, "not here iu tbe car before all those people.. Walt. Come this evening." "It's merely that you have a streak of soot down the middle of your nose, but I couldn't for the life of me get a word In till Just now." Chicago. Record-Herald. THE SCRAPPY LITTLE JAPPY. When wo first observed the yellow little follow from Japan. Willi him satina. Sower sod silks wo (row acquainted. We Imagined him as sUodlog la a gar den with a fan, Nigh a dainty paper mansion, nicely painted. Bat ho offered no suggestion of a war ship or a gen, Or a deed of marUa! valor, fiercely scrappy; Or tho military neatness shown booeata tho rising sun la tho plucky little, lucky little Jappy. When first upon the Yalo ho destroyed the poor Chinese, Ho diiplsyod for modern wsr a passion ready. Hs took to shell, torpedo boats and war ships with the csm Of a Npunky little duckling In an eddy. Later, wheu wo stormed l'ekln, the Jap was first noon tbe ground With a daub Uiat mads tho god of war fel happy Yon were sure a revelation to the mili tary nations, Ob, you fiery little, wiry little Jsppy. Lately, when he bearded Bosnia with de mands to right a wrong, -We remarked, "Bo careful, kid wo would advbte, sir, That the bear is fierce and sbsggy, thst the Ctar Is cruel and strong Better look for something nesrer to your size, sir." But the youngnter. like a demon, clutch ed tbe windpipe of the bear, Till his mighty psws were paralyzed snd frappe. Now her battleships lia battered, and her banners torn and tattered, By the spunky little, chunky little Jppy. New York Globe. BIRD CAME TO COMFORT HER. Btraage Btorjr Told by Jewish Woman Mourning Her II unbend' Death. Mrs. Abram D. Davis, of 430 Ash land avenue, tells a strange story. Her husband, who was a prominent mer chant, died ten daya ago, and she, in accordance with tbe customs of tbe Jewish religion, retired to a mourning chamber with her sister-in-law, Mrs. U. Frledenberg, of Bradford, Pa. Tbe period of religious mourning ex pired at 0 o'clock yesterday morning, and Just at that hour a bird aa large aa a sparrow and as black aa night flew out of tbe gas grate, which was burning, and alighted at Mra. Davis's feet Both women tried to scare the bird away by waving their handa at it but it stayed three mlnutea, bop ped about on a table and finally van ished through the front door. Mrs. Davis, who had been grief stricken because of the death of her husband, to whom she had been mar ried thirty years, became cheerful at once. She tella her friends that it bore a message direct from God telling her that she should be comforted and that all would be well. An examination of the chimney showed that the bird must have come down the hot chimney through a hole about an inch square. Small blackblrda'are foreign to these parts, and cynical persons say It must have been a sparrow with a coat of soot But Mrs. Davla's story has crea ted a stir in the fashionable district where she lives. One of tbe persons who saw the bird ia a Mr. Bornstein, of 121 West One Hundred and Four teenth street, -New York, and he cor roboratea the atory of lta strange movements. Raubi Aaron of Temple Beth ZIon haa heard tbe story. He expressed delight at Mrs. Davis's com fortNew York Sun. SACRED RUSSIAN IMAGE. Hi ' I The ikon that is to be carried by the Russian army In Manchuria is the most sacred of jthe Kremlin's treasures. The painting represents the Virgin as she appeared to St Sergius, and in accordance with Russian custom the picture Is covered with precious stones. This ikon is the same that accom panied Alexis, Peter the Great, and Alexander I. and was with their ar mies in every big battle. Divorce Difficult In Canada, In Canada there are but two things which can dissolve marriage death and Infidelity. An applicant for di vorce must act under the provisions of a law marked at every step by the most rigorous limitations. If a man or a woman for the requirements are the same wishes to secure a divorce, a formal notice, giving the names of applicant and accused with the ground for accusation, must be insert ed for six months In two newspapers published in the town or city where the applicant resided at tbe time of separation. No court of law has any thing to do in granting divorce. To ob tain divorce the applicant must go to the Dominion Parliament . The , di vorces in a generation have not aver aged over three a year. Cost of Eleotrio Light. The cost of city electric lights ranges from 2 to 8 cents an hour a lamp. Talk is cheap unless you are using a long-distance telephone. .,, A MICHIGAN MAYOR SAYS "3 Know Pe-ru-na Is a Fine Tonic for a Worn Out System." Hoa. Nelson Rice of St. Joseph, Mlcb., knows of a large number of grateful patients In his county who have been cured by Peruna. Hon. Nelson Rice, Mayor of St. Joseph, Michigan, writes: The Peruna Medicine Co., Columbus, Ohio; Gentlemen : "1 wish to congratulate you on the success of your efforts to win the confidence of the public in need of a reliable medicine. I know Peruna is a fine tonic for a worn out system and specific in cases of ca tarrhal difficulties. You have a Large number of grateful patients in this county who have used Peruna and have been cured by it, and who prnlse It above all other medicines. Peruna has my heartiest good wishes." Nelson Rice. MARCH, APRIL, MAY Weak Nerves, Poor Diges tion, Impure Blood, Depressed Spirits. . The sun has just crossed tbe equator on its yearly trip north. . The real equator is shifted toward the north nearly eighteen milca every day. With the return of the sua comes the bodily ills peculiar to spring. With one person tbe nerves are weak; anoth er person, digestion poor; with others the blood is out of order; snd still oth ers have depressed spirits and tired feeling. ' All these things are especially true of those who have been suffering with Jarring an Actor. "What did you think of my death scene?" asked the actdr. "Well, it seemed to mo it came a little too late in the piece," was the reply. Chicago Evening Post. Mother will And Mrs. Wlnalows's Soothing Syrup tha bottromedy tout lot their children during the teething period.. A drop of blood which might hang from the point of a needle contains 1,000,000 red flattened corpuscles. "Keele? liouor-mcwphine-tobaccc IVrJT HINT. BrnMaNFNTlY aiBrfi wKtniYjjBTmnTrjpc The president of the Republic of An dorra, in thePyrenees, gets the smallest salary paid by any civiliied government It is only $15 a year, and ho thinks of asking for a ten per cent increase, which would make it $16.50. Perm's Pile Specific Tha INTERNAL RXMIDY He Case Exists It Will Not Cart you can un $25.00 PER DAY (letting Water, 00 or Coal with AUSTIN WELL DRILLS Mad In all alios and styles. Writ for Cata logues and liat ot mors In h WtU Beill I Go. 818 Commer cial Block. PORTLAND, ORB. v&iSg S'IS " '-,,aW w 1 yjyl MITCH BL.L.. L.E5WIS 300 First Street. - Branches) i 8BATTLB SPOKANE catarrh in any form or la grippe. A course of Peruna is sure to correct all these conditions. It is an ideal spring medicine. Peruna does not irritate it invigorates it strengthens. It equalizes the circulation of the blood, tranquilizer the nervous system and regulates the bodily functions. Peru na, unlike so many spring medicines is not simply a physic or stimulant or nervine. It is a natural tonic and in vigorator. If you do not receive prompt and sat iafactory results from the use of Peru na', write at once to Dr. Hartman, giv ing a full statement of your case, and be will be pleased to give you his valu able advice gratis. ' Address Dr. Hartman, President of The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, Ohio. HOWARD L BURTON, Assay and Caanfat 6pedmen prices, Oold, Silver, Lead, 11 ; Oold, SO. rer, 7jc ; Uold, SOc ; Zinc or Copper, f U Cyanide testa. MmJn envelop and full price list sent on applies Hon. Control and Umpire work solicited. Lead vllle, Colo. Keference Carbonate Natl Bank. BUY FROM YOUR DEAL.ER 17. L. DOUGLAS $4.00, 83.50, $3.00, $2.50 UNION CUnCC BEST IN ' IN MADE WIIWI.W W.L Douglas shoes are worn by more men than any other make. The reason THE WORLD. is, they hold their shape Jatbetter,wear longer, and have cr a at. r int.rinsin value than any other shoes. s .... . I -m IMM nr astsn svm price oa sMXtoai. Ions;lM uses Corona Coltakln, which I irrw her conceded to bet he finest Iatent leather yet prod need. ttheryt Ftut Color ytliti umo." SlMOIDTUMU W. I OOUGJLAS. Brockton. iu,eemsenra. n nie lor uuaio. P. N.U. No. 18-1004. TTTHEN writing- to advertisers pi I IT mention tbla paper. "BEE LINE" BUGGIES Ar not manufacture ra regular construction, but ' Our Own Special Construction ' Put up with full knowledge o! the re quirement8 of this rough western coun try. : Made to Btand up, and will stand up, better than any buggy sold at any thing like the price. If you want a good buggy at a moderate price, try our F' Bee line." You can't beat It. We have the " Bee Line " Road Wagons. ' Wagons STAYER CO. PORTLAND, OREaOlM BOISE! i A b A. I