C. E. WOODSON.
A TTORNE Y-A T-LA W
Office In Palace Motel Heppner. Oreoon
Sam E. VanVactor.
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Office on wait eud of Mar Street
Heppuer Oregon.
S. E. Notson
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Offlceln Court Home, Heppuer, Oregon.
F. H. ROBINSON,
LAWYER,
lone, - - - Oregon
W. H. DOBYNS.
ATTORN EY-AT-LAW
JOBSON ON THE FOURTH
lone.
Oregon.
W. L. SMITH.
ABSTRACTER.
Only complete set of abstract book
in Morrow county.
Obbooh
Hkfpneb,
J. P. WILLIAMS
Justice of the Peace.
Office with S. E. Van Vactor
DR. M. A. LEACH
rICJVTIT
Permanently located in Heppner. Offlc
Id the new Fair building. Gaa ad-ministered.
OSTEOPATHY AND
MECHANOTHERAPY
Dr. Martha S. Arledge, D. 0.
Dr. J. P- Conder, M -T. D.
Treatment of all diseases
D9 per cent, of cute successfully treated
without operation
II are we coins away any
where over the Fourth V"
timidly ventured. Mra. Job-
sou at tho breakfast table.
"Going away for what?" Inquired
Mr. Jobson, glowering at her over the
rambler roses lu the middle of the
table.
"Why," said Mrs. Jobson, "to escape
the noise and"
"Escape nothing!" cut In Mr. Jobson
gloomily. "How you going to escape
It? Illre a balloon and escape to Spits
bergen? nike to the Mohave desert?
I'd be considerably obliged to you If
you would suggest how anybody can
get away from this durnphool Fourth
of July nonsense, madam, but you can't
do it. It's not to be done."
"Well, then." Interposed Mrs. Job
son, "It Is settled that we are not to go
away over the Fourth and that"
"It is pretty near settled, Mrs. Job
son, If I say bo," replied Mr. Jobson
grandly.
"We are not only not going away,
but we are going to remain closely
bottled op in this fortress from the
beginning of the day to the end there
of. I'm going to take all of the screens
out of the windows and pull the win
dows down tight, so as to exclude as
much of the racket as possible, and
then I'm going to retire to the attic,
where I want my meals served to me t
throughout the day."
Mr. Jobson was In a pretty chipper
and cheerful frame of mind when he
woke up on Fourth of July morning.
He ate a whopping breakfast, and aft
er breakfast he sat In the front room
at the window, reading the paper and
smoking his cigar and gazing out at
the youngsters firing their crackers
and torpedoes.
"Those youngsters don't get the good
out of their firecrackers that us fel
lers used to when I was a kid," he
observed to Mrs. Jobson. "They don't
get enough noise out of 'em. And
they don't know bow to nurse and
hoard their firecrackers. Why, I'll bet
those kids never heard of shooting 'em
off under a dish pan, and"
That suggested something to Mr.
Jobson. He sneaked out the basement
way, went around the corner to a fire
works shop and presently returned
with an armful of firecrackers. Then
he slunk In the basement way and
copped out Mrs. Jobson's second best
dishpan. Then he went out again and
beckoned a bunch of the firecracker
shooting youngsters In a vacant lot.
"Hey, you fellers." he called to the
delighted boys, "come on along here
and I'll show you some shootln' of
firecrackers as is what you might call
shootln'."
When Mrs. Jobson went over there
an hour or so later to summon Mr. Job
son to lunch he was firing off the final
Ml. in .; : ;,-, . B
fr, tL ;lf KH ,
ro! iv warns a
Wtad: HCIii
ADff a ERaimcBB
DDdD Von Wai
arid tfets
mcKer
it- '
N. E. WINNARD
FHVMICIAN A
M. D.
SUKUCON
Graduate of:
Lenox College, 1885.
Chicago Homeopathic Med College
1890.
Kuuk Medical Colleue, 1S92.
F. E. Boyden, M. D.
PUYSSCIAN A SUKQKOM
Office in rear of Patterson & Son's
Drag Store.
HEPPNER OREGON
WELLS & CLARK.
8HAVINO PARLORS
Three Doom South of Postoflice.
Bbaving 25c Hnirouttlng 35(
Bathroom in Connection.
PATTERSON & ELDER
2 Door North
Palace Hotel
TONSOIIIAL ARTISTS
Fine Baths - - - - Shaving 25c
J. H. BODE
" - -l-IMM I t
ON THE FOURTH OF JULY.
poet you should read
should go
should read
should
to
eat
Tho
Burns.
The place you
Fire island.
The author you
Bang.
Ths food you
Crackers.
The artist you should admire
Gunn.
The actress you ahould sea
Starr, The humorist you ahould read
Shuts.
The politician you should hear
Cannon.
The kind of tyne thi skit should
fbe set in to make it appropriate
CAPS. X
J F P. Pitzer in Judge. J
JULY FOURTH.
Same old f-peeches.
Same old Hags,
Same old rockets.
Same old Jags.
Same old music.
Same old noise.
Same old crackers.
Same old boys.
Same old picnics,
Same old dread,
Same temptation.
Same old head.
Same old fires.
Same old lights.
Same old crowds and
Same old lights.
Same old cannons.
Same old thrills,
Same old cheers and
Doctor's bills.
Same old brightness,
Same display.
Same old gladsome
Natal day.
Philadelphia Ledger.
Arc you interested in getting
hold of land for a home?
Do you want a place suited
to diversified farming?
We have bargains to offer
in the three tracts listed
below.
No. 1.
Consists of 1100 acres, divided into
250 acres of wheat land, 30 acres now
set to alfalfa, with 20 acres more that can
be put in,- and all under good ditch; 800
acres grass land. This is an ideal dairy
and heg ranch, lying on the creek, with
plenty of water the year around. One of
Eastern Oregon's Best Propositions.
$14 per acre; $8000 cash; good
terms on balance.
Safe and Sane?
i
Merchant Tailor
IIEPPNHR
F- H ROBINSON
W. S. SMITH
lone, Oregon.
COMB ON, rELLEltS, tVE LI BATE SOUS
ItE.VL KOlyiL"
package of his stock of crackers un
derneath the dishpan. and the noise he
was making was something terrific.
(h.uu. "liaveu t had so much fun sinrp
Hector was u pup," he panted delight
edly to Mrs. Johson as he cobbled his
lunch. "Didn't know there was so
dlirmd mil,h fllll f-r, ha h.,,1 rt,,t tt ost.
KlIKIIM.MJW A V H simple things as firecrackers, We're
- Wli ,. ,, ,, . . , . ...
uuja aim Kills fll UUillL. OIU IUUV.
and It s only these gloomy muttonheuds
that allow 'einselves to grow old."
Well. It hasn't been such a noisy
Fourth after nil, has it?" ventured Mrs.
Jobson after It was all over.
Mr. Jobson darted a suspicious look
at her.
"Oh, yon can Just put those sneers of
yours in a tin and seal 'em up, mad
am." growled Mr. Jobson. "I know
ivhat your crack means that I've con
tributed a little to what you call the
noise. Well, If I have I'll stand for It,
madam, and I've got no apologies to
make. This Is a free count rr. vou'll be
pleased to remember, and we're cele
brating the day that made it free, and
if I ever become so blamed atrophied
in my sentiments and balled up in my
patriotism that I resent a little extra
outbreaking of praiseworthy and coin
nieudatory noise on the Fourth of July.
like some alTected and alleged nicey
I niccy folks that I could mention, I
want to be run inlo the Potomac river
Real Estate
Farms and City Property for Sale. Farms
to rent. Correspondence solicited.
ectrsc
IWado A PJow f-an Of Hi.T
"I was EufTcrinr from rain in mv C
stomach, head and tack,"1 writes II. V
T. AJRton, Ka! ih. 2J C,"ard n yS
liver and kid;-.f 5 s did not work riiht. g
but fonr Lott! a of J-Jcctrie Uitursf
made rce fetl like a new man." S
noire nnrr-i at am nRi'R pt.tpf': k
by a pack of ferocious rabbits, madam.
and that's about nil the reply I need to
make to you." Washington Star.
' iy
J j j "M J
mm
No. 2.
Is a creek farm of 950 acres; 500
acres of good wheat land; 25 acres now
growing alfalfa, and as much more can
easily be put in as it comes under ditch.
Small orchard, small house with water
piped in from good spring on place; barns
and other buildings.
$11 per acre; half cash; terms on
balance.
A GENERAL PURPOSE FARM.
No. 3.
A BIG BARGAIN. 3800 acres,
on wnicii is now growing do or U acres
of alfalfa, and 25 acres more can be put
in, making nearly 100 acres that come
under ditch. ' On this ranch three eood
crops of alfalfa are grown each year and
but one irrigation is required; it is sub
irrigated by from 15 to 20 springs on the
place. There is a good orchard of 150
choice bearing fruit trees; 9-room resi
dence with water piped in from spring;
large sheep shed and other outbuildings.
About 1000 acres of this farm is good
wheat land with 600 acres now in cultiva
tion. 1 1 miles from Heppner.
Price $11 per acre; half cash; easy
terms on balance.
This is one of the best rural homes in all
Eastern Oregon and is certainly a snap at
the figure offered.
To the homeseeker or the investor there are no better
propositions offered than these; nowhere in the North
west can such land be had at anything like such figures.
These farms join and can be had all in one deal
separately as desired.
or
For further particulars, call or address
Hie azef-Ioiss
Reai Es!ae Office
KEFPNEK .... OKEGON
I
Skldmore In nutrias Life.
1