fHAI THE KIDNEYS 00
"A BIT OF NAVAL HISTORY.
Vkrlr hcvhcIiik Work. Keeda Is
Vlrnnit nd llcnliliy.
&H tUe blood iu the body parses
viVasjf h the kidneys once every three
inrai.i!s. The kidnes filter the
yktd. Thoy work night and day.
yt fccalthv thev remove about 500
-?r ij s of impure iuattr daily, when
, 6fU.hy some part of this iuiDtire
:taCJ:er is Jeft in the blood. This
:'.!titx.-a on mnoy dieases and symp
tne pain in the back, headache.
.swwim-'neBS, hot, dry skirt, rheumatic
v.tir, eout, gravel, disorders of the
.isa'ht and hearing ..dizziness irreg-'-aSft4:
iieart, debility, drowsiness,
v-aiv-tf deposits in the urine, etc.
HBit if you keep the filters right ynu
it4 fcve no trouble with your kid-
(i. L,. Berry, Main St. HecDner
j5rn, says: "You are welcome to
vta y Rame as one who has been
.-Rrwyf Kidney complaint by Doan's
Hi tr?y Pills. M? kidneys were weak
ifcs asy back was so uainful that 1
w.t attkiged to walk all stooped over.
"T&ecwutents of one box of Doan's
Kiisey Pills effected a cure and dur
tq; f.he Das two years there has been
; ronrrence of the trouble."
For sale by all dealers. Price 50c.
'JFarter-Milburn Co., Buffalo, New
"rj, sole agents for the United
Heoiember the name Doan's and
trMka ts other.
Jied Front Livery &
Feed Stables
"Willis Stewart, Prop
3FIRST-CLASS
LIVERY RIGS
iJCept constantly on hand
7- uid can be furnished on
; -s3wrt notice to parties
sLsliing to drive into the
Vitlerior. First class : : .
of
Slacks and Buggies
f'CALL AROUND AND
; SEE US. WE CATER
"TO THE : : : : :
COMMERCIAL
TRAVELERS
.AXD CAN FURNISH
III GS AND DRIVER ON ---SHORT
NOTICE : : '
HEPPNER, - OREGON
Origin of the Corps of Professors
Mathematics.
Before the Naval academy was es
tnblished midshipmen received their
education entirely on board ship. Their
technical education was obtained In
tue scuool of experience, helped out
occasionally by the- voluntary efforls
thi? older line officers. Their gen
eral education was at first neglected,
but later Instructors were appointed
fur service on ships that carried mid
shlpmeu. These . were appointed hy
the secretary of the navy for stated
periods, much as civilian instructors
nt the Naval ncndeiuy are appointed
at the present time. In lSt2 a general
order was issued providing that they
should live and mess with lieutenants.
They were commissioned in 1SJS, lint
specific rank was not given them uutil
the general reorganization of all staff
corps during the civil war.
The late Professor II. II. Lockwood.
U. S. N.. in some very interesting rem
iniscences read before the Naval
Academy Graduates' association In
1S93 relates how the corps of profes
sors of mathematics came to be form
ed. In the early days of the Naval
academy he was one of its instructors.
He hud had service in the army, and
in the development of the course of in
struction he determined, after consul
tation with the superintendent, to give
the midshipmen a little infantry drill.
This did not suit the proud spirits of
the young gentlemen of that day, and
to show their disapproval of this and
other efforts of the professor they hung
him in eftigy. An investigation nud a
court martial followed on the charge
of Insulting a superior officer.
The defense put up the plea that the
instructor was not a superior offl.er.
Such a condition Is bard to uuderstand
at this time, when the status of offi
cers, instructors and midshipmen at
the Naval academy is well defined, but
at that time midshipmen were officers,
while instructors had no official stand
ing. The plea was technically correct,
and to punish the guilty uiidshipmeu it
was found necessary to substitute
charges in which the anomalous posi
tion of the professor in the naval serv
ice could not be made to enter. Upon
these the guilty midshipmen were con
demned and punished.
This incident led to an amendment
in the naval appropriation bill of 1848
giving authority for the commissioning
of twelve professors of mathematics.
Commander U. T. Holmes in Engineer
ing Magazine.
POLICE OF BERLIN.
t
Each One Is a Sort of Czar on
His Own Limited Beat.
EVERY PERSON IS
WATCHED.
.-of
UIMIA
'fi: me with a friirhtf ul coueh and
" I I J II 1 I J
"tlffrvj wean, i iiiiu speiis wiieu x couiu
t,S?isr;-il-- breathe or sneak for 10 to 20
pmaristes. My doctor could not help
Isssin but I was completely cured by
OR. KING'S
isv Discovery
Urs. J. E. Cox, Joliet, III.
5te AND $1.00 AT ALL DRUGGISTS.
A Simple Get-rich-quick Scheme.
Take 1,000,000 cats and get rich
quick. This Is the advice of the Liberte
of Paris to Its readers. The. prescrip
tion is quite simple. A million cats
will supply you with 12.000.000 kittens
a year. The skins are worth a little
over 28 cents each, so there you have
a daily gross revenue of about $10,000.
To skin the cats you will have to em
ploy 100 men, who will charge you $2
per fifty cats. Your net revenue will
thus be reduced to about $9,000 a day.
It should cost you nothing to feed your
cats. Start a rattery. Rats breed four
times as fast as cats, so the cats can
have a daily diet of four rats apiece,
which Is ample. To. feed the rats is
perfectly simpla Give them the skin
ned gats. ' One cat will be ample for
four rats. The scheme works out sim
ply and automatically. The cats eat
the rats, the rats eat the cats, and you
have the skins.
For Sale.
JL thorougnnred jersey Dun, one
vmwar of age and dehorned. Will sell
itfalar animal cheap. ;
EPH ESKELSON
Lexington, Oregon.
Lost
"it yearling bav colt, with one white
ritt.lfoot, branded :Pon right shoulder.
Xiii animal was missed from the
La&ae" Nsal pasture at Lone Rock
ssSb. early part of October 1911. A
itrimiri of $5 00 will be paid for in
a'ifcmt'ja leading to its recovery.
AARON PETERSON,
1M. Eight Miile Oregon.
3 to the Bakery for yoor bread.
US- ioares for $1.00.
Vfer not select that carpet from the
rat?- b' see At Case's Furniture Store.
JEenpt An Awful fate.
nk. thousand tongues could not ex
!he gratitude of Mrs. J. E. Cox,
s.itlftc'tX J 11- fr her wonderful deliv-rf--?rtC'rfi
from a awful fate. Typhoid
Mjwo-.ua .Lad left me with a dread
Jtjat. Mtigh she wries. "Sometimes
EfcfcaJcb awful 'roufthiog coellg 1
t tfmrmtSti I would die. I could get no
.-we&dtaestfill I used Dr. King's New
I'XHxxntty. But I owe my life to
-Si wondefttfl remedy for I hardly
-tUt ill m." Quick and safe.
m. f- mnit rrfliavtlA rtf all f,mf nA
ianc afrfirine. Eery bottle guar
iMAiM. SOo and ll.td. Trial bottle
Tira at 81ocum Drag Co.
The Chape! of Bones.
One of the most interesting sights of
Malta and at the same time rather a
grewsome one is the Chapel of Bones.
Guides who show visitors round the
island never fail to point this out. The
whole of the sides, arches and about
the altar are the skulls and crossboues
of the long departed monks. Iu niches
round the chapel stand skeletons of
monks in their habits. On either side of
the altar stands a skeleton represent
ing Father Time with a scythe. Stand
ing at the rear of the chapel one can
not but admire and wonder at the reg
ular manner in which the skulls and
bones are placed.
How Parchment Got Its Name.
The Greeks of Pergamus are said to
have first prepared parchment from
the skins of the goat or sheep. They
were curried, deprived of all fat,
thinned uniformly by the knife, dyed
or whitened and finally rubbed
with pumice stone to a smooth and
even surface. Called pergamenum from
the city of its origin, the new mate
rial became parchemin in archaic
French and parchment in the English
tongue. National Magazine.
Where a Man Works, How He Amuses
Himself and the Way Ha Behaves It
Is the Oi'r'icer's Business to Know,
The Civil Service System.
"When you arrive nt a railway sta-
tlou In Berlin," said a professional man
who spent a year iu Berlin, "you are
not surrounded by a clamoring crowd
of cab drivers, some of whom a stran
ger would he foolish to trust. You tell
a policeman what you want whether
a cab or a porter and be givea you a
number. When you emerge from the
station a uniformed governmental em
ployee, either cab driver or porter,
stands at attention and salutes you in
a military manner. lie has been or
dered for you by the policeman inside,
and when he presents his number, cor
responding to the one the policeman
gave you. you can trust him to take
you or your luggage wherever it is to
go. The government Is responsible for
the safe arrival of yourself and your
luggage at hotel or other destination.
If the porter should run away with,
your belongings the government would
reimburse you.
"The police system Is wonderful.
The officers carry no revolvers or clubs,
only swords. Each one has only a
small beat to cover a couple of blocks
or so tuat ne Has time to be tne moni
tor of the moral conduct of every per:
sou In his district. He knows exactly
what each person is doing, where he is
working, how he is spending his leisure
time and whether he is behaving him
self. There is very little crime, and
the police courts have little business.
ir you commit an ollense you are
not dragged otf to a police station. In
stead, your name and address are tak
sn by the officer in the district, and the
next day a letter informs you that you
have been fined an amount in keeping
with the character of your offense.
You are told that you either can send
the money hy messenger or appear at
the prefect's office for trial at a certain
time. It doesn't pay to give a police
man a wrong address either because
the system Is so perfect that they will
una you anyway ana nne you more.
loe policemen are instructed to
prevent infractions of the law. not to
wnlt for persons to get into trouble and
then arrest them. Each policeman baa
such a small district to cover that you
can find one whenever you want one.
He sees that his district is kept clean.
that each house In it Is sanitary and
Jim t each resident gets fair treatment
from hia neighbor. Disputes are settled
with no thought of appeal before they
ever get to the police station.
Jsoon arter l arrived I was otr my
way to the university one morning and
saw a" policeman at a cab stand eX'
amining the hoofs and backs of the
horses, the harness and the cushions
and wheels; of the cabs. '
"'What are you doing? I asked him
politely.
" "As a representative of my govern
ment. be replied. 1 am Inspecting to
see that the passengers of these cab
men are assured a safe journey with
them. The government is responsible,
you know, and it is my duty to see
that all dangers and possibilities of
discomforts are eliminated.'
"His answer was given In a most
courteous manner.
"There are uo paupers In Germany.
Everybody pays as he goes. You can
see the result In the Independent man
ner of even the street sweeper. He
knows he shall be provided for in case
he encounters adversity.
"For instance, suppose a lamplighter
or a bootblack becomes ill or suffers
an accident By the way, the boot
blacks of Berlin do a thriving business
because not a man, from street sweep
er up to banker, would think of ap
pearlug on the street of a morning
without having his shoes sbined. If
such a lowly worker becomes disabled
the government association of his dis
trict gives him a certificate to any
physician for whom he may have a
preference. It is good for two weeks.
. Elephants Asleep.
A question often raised in regnrd to
the African elephant Is whether this
animal ever rests or not At first blush
it would appear that there could only
be one answer to the question. So
huge an animal must expend a terrllie
amount of energy and therefore, as one
might reasonably Infer, must need
more flm than smaller animals for
rest and.relnvlgoratlon. NeferthWss
many travelers and some naturalists
have asserted that the African elephant
In its native si itte never sleeps or at
least never lies down. A correspond
ent who has sent photographs from
Malek. on. the White Nile, says In the
communication that accompanies them
that the picture represents a "herd of
female elephants photographed lu the
bush near Malek, In the Mogalla prov
ince of the Anglo-Egyptian Sudan. It
has been, maintained that the African
elephant never lies clown to rest. Sev
eral may he seen thus sleeping."
Country Life.
OE
It,
Poisons In the Stomach.
A most curious fact Is that all food
contains the elements of poison... and
in our body poisons are manufactured
from these. For instance, meat fish,
cheese and milk are composed of hy
drogen, carbon, nitrogen and oxygen.
Take away the last and you have prus-
sic acid. We do not manufacture'
prussie acid, it is true. But in every
stomach In the world fermentation
goes on just as In a brewery, and the
poisonous carbonic acid Is made in
large quantities, ir you Dreamed a
few days' output of carbonic acid gas
you would inevitably die. Sulphuret
ed hydrogen is one of the most deadly
gases known, yet in every stomach it
is made at one time or another. In the
stomach all food Is converted into
what we call "peptone," nnd if a very
small quantity of this found Its way
into the blood it would kill as surely
as prusslc acid. Pearson's Weekly.
Notice!
Call and look over the new line of
SPRING & SUMMER SAMPLES
Just Received.
LOUIS PEARSON, Tailor.
JL
VAWTER CRAWFORD
Notary Public ' Insurance Agent
Represents some Leading Fire Insurance Companies, including;
The Home of New York, The Hartford, and The I'hciMiix or
London, uIho American Bonding; Co. of Baltimore. :'
Office: Gazette, Ileppner, Oregon
Oc
3 C
3C
3 C
Story of a "Violin."
On one Occasion all who were pres
ent In the court of Justice at Berlin
had the great pleasure of listening to
a free performance by rofessor Joa
chim, the famous violinist. It appear
ed from the evidence that a dealer In
musical Instruments was charged with
cheating a customer by representing
that a violin which he offered for sale
at $1.25 was an instrument that cou il
be played. The great professor was
called in as an expert witness, and,
taking up the impugned instrument,
he proceeded to play upon It. Under
his magic fingers it really sounded like
a violin, but In a few moments, much
to the regret of his listeners, the maes
tro laid the Instrument down with an
evident air of contempt But be had
secured the accused's acquittal.
The Plowing Season
And VAUGHN & SONS have on a
new supply of
n Canton and Syracuse Plows
Gangs, Sulkeys, and Walking. Call
before buying and look at the new
Two Way Sasiicey
with all the good features the other
makes have, and some special features
that no others have.
VAUGHN & SONS, Heppner
30
n
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A Mystery Explained.
An English docter was asked to es-
plaln how women can wear such flimsy
clothes In cold weather without appar
ent harm and without much discom
fort when a man would suffer terribly
so exposed. He says tuis resisting
power Is due to an additional layer
of fat In the body, acquired In the
day of cave dwelling, when the wo
men had to stay In the cold huts while
the men kept warm by hunting and
outdoor activities. Healthy Home.'
An Old One.
"1 found a gold ring today."
"A new one?"
'No old and much worn."
"Any name on the Inside of It?"
"No; nothing but the letters B. C."
"Gracious! You don't suppose it's
as old as that, do you?' Kschange.
Antenuptial Thrift.
"Why do you Insist on carrying that
umbrella ?" asked the bridegroom.
For purpose of domestic economy,"
replied the bride. "I'm polng to turn
It upside down nnd catch enough rice
to do the family for several weeks."
Washington Star.
ELMER BEAM AN
Fuel Dealer
Rock Springs Coal, Pine, Fir and Oak Cord Wood
and Slab Wood.
SELLS FOR CASH ON DELIVERY.
Leave yous Orders with Slocum Drug Company
nd they will receive prompt attention.
MIKE HEAL Y, Proprietor
Telephone...
Liv,ery Stable
- TELEPHONE. 201
THE
HOME
OF THE
SPOTTED
HORSES
Disillusioned,
King Firefly (with much feeling)!
once loved a wnmnn: hut, alas, sue
married. Baron Ituhberneck (sympa
thetically Whom did she marry?
K'.nf Firefly iln n dep tone of manly
grief) She married me, Red Riding
Hood.
Squeal and Bark.
"Nothing lost here but the squeal."
declared the pork packer. "Are you as
economical in conducting your busi
ness V .
"Just about." answered Hie visitor.
"I'm in the lumber business. We
waste nothing hut the bark." Louis
ville Courier-Journal
It Fell.
"Wbat' that racket down there?"
ihouted the old gentleman from the
tend of the stairs.
"1 think," promptly replied his
daughter, "that it was Bob dropping
his voice when he proposed to me."
Detroit Free Press.
Reassuring Him.
"But" said the absolutely bald old
party, "can I be assured that this
horse Is quite gentle?"
"My dear sir." replied the tricky
dealer, "he wouldn't hurt a hair of
your bead." Catholic Standard and
Time.
Everything we endure patiently Is a
key to something beaulful wt could
never enter otherwise. j
I. .. V. t A 1-
i ne association, iuai ine government
will pay b id. If more than two weeks'
medical attention is required the as
sociation issues a new certificate. The
disabled worker pays for his medicines
In the same way. The physician gives
him a certificate ontbe druggist, and
the latter is not allowed to charge
more than the customer's station In
life Justifies.
"A ride on the governmental rail
ways assures you absolute comfort
uid safety. They laugh at our 'spread
:ng rail' and 'washout' accidents over
lere. The construction of German rail
ways won't permit the rails to spread.
nd after a train passes over a certain
Mretcu of track a walker follows along
tehlnd to see that all is safe before
soother train Is allowed to U3e IL
"There Is no political graft. The mo
nent a man goes (o work for the gov
jrument be is disfranchised. He Is
jnder civil service, and he has a life
:!me Job if he gives good service, but
:he others do the voting.
"1 met an American lawyer who re
iids there and rather marveled at his
ibility to make a living. I told blm
i bout it
" I make a good living. be explained,
by telling Americans how to keep out
f trouble. And I tell them if they
Mke their cases to court they must
upect exact Justice. There Is no
maure for political Influence and pull
ji the courts, as In Anjirlca.' " Kaa
ms City Star.
To Stop His Laugh.
Patient- V'hen I iRiigh my side hurts
me. Uoitor Ah. well, wen soon put
that right Send for your mother-in-law
to stay with you, and I will send
In my blll.-Pele Mele,
Calumny wonld soon Starr and die
of Itself if nobody took it In and gave
It a lodging -I.elghton.
COURTEOUS TREATMENT AND FIRST-CLASS SERVICE. WE
PAY FOR ALL TELEPHONES FOP RIGS.
LOWER MAIN STREET HEPPNKR, ORKGON
THE CITY MEAT MARKET
KINSMAN 4& HALL, Props.
Fresh Beef, Pork, Mutton, Sugar cured Ham
and Bacon and Home-rendered Lard.
Top Prices Paid for Hides and Pelts.
FRESH FISH THURSDAYS.
IT
WILL
DO
IT
Let the AKERS PATENT FASTEN
ER reduce your draper troubles to a
minimum this season.
The fastener, which l tllntrte't here. Is Mumped from sheet
teel, h i ivins two brsds Kmrk up mm e.ch Jw which re driven
into the stick when tue are set up. .
This holds the stick as If Jn a Tine. There are'no rivets oln
through the itli k to weaken or pli It. We ue the heat No. duck,
straight g rained h sticks and first quality leather belt.
We gnarantee the quality snd we tuarsotew the workmanship.
Three drapers will rmt rou no more thsa other mikes and they
will save you much time and annoyance.
Don' fail to use one on your Harvester or Header this season.
A NEW INSTRUMENT
in Hachment tor hoe drills ss Ulustrsted here has two very vsl
nit ble ami impor snt features which eve-y r regressive farmer will
appreciate tonce. Tlmy are made to fit any hoe, are easily d
jiiKied and answer the double purpote of regulating the depth of
r
viwing and at he same
time presses me on
flrmlyaroiindthe grain
Ihns Insunu, BV
late termination.
HpR-nilld results are
obtained from their use.
Manufactured by
Pendletoi.
Iron
Works,
Penti.eton,
Oregon.
We have an up-to-date machine shop and found
ry and employ skilled workmen in every depart
ment We solicit your patronage.
7
L.
o
n
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