Cottage Grove sentinel. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1909-current, August 17, 2016, Page 9A, Image 9

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    COTTAGE GROVE SENTINEL August 17, 2016
Chatterbox
The
I’m with Gracie!
BY BETTY KAISER
For the Sentinel
Fast forward a few years and another
Hollywood face entered the political arena.
Pat Paulsen was a long-faced comedian and
satirist who was well known for his hilari-
ous monologs on The Smothers Brothers
Comedy.
Paulsen was approached by the Smothers
Brothers to run for President in 1968. He
is reported to have said, “Why not? I can’t
dance; the job has a good pension plan and
I’ll get a lot of money when I retire.” His
slogan was “Just a common, ordinary sim-
ple savior of America’s destiny.” Sounds a
little familiar!
Viewers would tune in to listen to his
campaign promises that were outright lies
and tongue-in-cheek attacks on the major
candidates. His so-called campaign was
comedy based and a big hit. The long-faced
comedian’s response to any and all criti-
cism was “Picky, picky, picky.”
Tongue in cheek, Paulsen addressed is-
sues that we still face today:
Problem solving: “I will not claim to
solve all the world’s problems. If I did, I’d
have to run as a Republican or a Demo-
crat.
Gun laws: “A gun is a necessity. Who
knows…you might be walking down a
street and spot a moose!”
National Debt: “Will I obliterate national
debt? Sure, why not?”
Immigration: “All the problems we face
today can be traced to an unenlightened im-
migration policy on the part of the Ameri-
can Indian.”
To everyone’s surprise, his pseudo cam-
paign took on a life of its own. In the 1996
New Hampshire Democratic Primary,
Paulsen polled 921 votes to President Clin-
ton’s 76,754. He came in second place! Ul-
timately he ran fi ve campaigns with gentle
humor aimed at political arrogance until he
died at the age of 69 in 1997.
Paulsen had some fi nal words of election
wisdom as he paraphrased another wise
man: “You can fool some of the people all
of the time and all of the people some of the
time but you can only make a monkey out
of the voters every four years!”
Don’t be a monkey! Get informed and
vote intelligently! As for me, I’m with Gra-
cie and Pat. Truth goes down best with a
little laughter.
T
he campaigning to become presi-
dent in 2016 has been in full swing
too long. It’s a slight exaggeration to say
that dozens of candidates began testing the
waters years ago. Finally, all but two have
washed out. Across the board, it was a pe-
culiar election slate, to say the least.
The sparring of so many candidates left
me more confused and crabby than in-
formed. Finally, former Secretary of State
Hillary Clinton prevailed on the Democrat
side. Billionaire Donald J. Trump, who
was originally just a speck on the candidate
horizon, ultimately gained the Republican
nomination.
Personally, I long for the good old days
of candidate selection. In election years, I
remember my grandfather sitting and lis-
tening to the results of the DNC and RNC
National Conventions on the radio. He
would listen intently as the conventions an-
nounced their select candidates to the na-
tion. In those days they elected individuals
with solid credentials like Harry Truman
and Gen. Dwight Eisenhower. As a young-
ster, the process seemed relatively simple.
Presidential campaigning is serious big
business — very serious. Our country’s
future hangs on every word of potential
nominees as they try to come up with solu-
tions to the mega problems facing us. It’s
not possible for anyone to have all the an-
swers. Yet we seldom hear candidates say
they don’t know the solution to a situation.
Lots of arrogant pontifi cating goes on. Not
much humor is displayed.
Back in the day, humorous pseudo-can-
didates would often surface and lighten
up the whole process. In the early days of
radio, Eddie Cantor and Will Rogers made
slapstick runs at the White House. Now
TV’s Saturday Night Live brings a little
levity to the proceedings.
One of the funniest comedians to address
political comedy was ditzy Gracie Allen.
She and hubby George Burns were come-
dic stars of radio, stage, screen and televi-
sion. Burns was the straight man who wrote
the material, but the audience loved silly
Gracie and her earnest delivery of skewed
answers to Burn’s serious questions.
In March, 1940, on the Burns and Allen
radio show, Gracie announced that she was
forming a new political party and declared
her candidacy for president. War was sim-
mering across Europe; times were grim and
getting worse. This was the era of Frank-
lin D. Roosevelt and Thomas E. Dewey.
Laughter was in short supply.
Gracie’s new political party was called
“The Surprise Party.” After all, she said, her
mother was a Democrat, her father a Re-
publican and she was born — a Surprise!
Gracie made unannounced appearances
on many radio shows to offer her views on
the issues of the day. One day she could be
found at Fibber McGee and Molly and the
next on The Jack Benny Show. When Ken
Murray, host of The Texaco Star Theatre,
asked her which party she was affi liated
with, she answered in typical Gracie form:
“I may take a drink now and then, but I
never get affi liated.”
Eventually she and George crossed the
country on a whistle-stop campaign tour.
They promoted her book “How to Become
President” and performed their radio show
live from Hollywood to Omaha. There,
at the Surprise Party Convention she was
nominated for President of the United
States.
When asked what made her qualifi ed to
run for President she said, “…let me tell you
that women are getting very tired of run-
ning a poor second to the Forgotten Man,
and with all the practice we’ve had around
the house the time is ripe for a woman to
sweep the country. I’ll make a prediction…
that a woman can and will be elected if she
is qualifi ed and gets enough votes.” Gracie
continued adlibbing as she shook hands
and kissed babies. She garnered a few hun-
dred votes and tens of thousands of smiles
— which is all she really wanted.
Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox is about peo-
ple, places, family, and other matters of the
heart. Contact her at 942-1317 or via e-
mail — bchatty@bettykaiser.com
9A
CG's Neigh hopes
to help others in the
World Race
A
calling to serve
others and see the
world has prompted a Cot-
tage Grove resident to race
around the globe this win-
ter.
Courtney Neigh moved
here last year from Cleve-
land, Ohio after the dis-
appointment of not being
accepted into a nursing
program and in search of
her next step.
“There’s a whisper in-
side all of us that says,
‘There must be more,’”
Neigh recently wrote, and
she believes she may have
found more with her plans Courtney Neigh plans to
visit and work in 11 coun-
for this winter.
The World Race is an tries beginning in January.
11-month mission trip to
11 different countries that aims to serve “the least of these” in
many communities. Neigh said she will spend one month in
each country working with local churches and organizations
to meet the needs of each community while also spreading
the Gospel.
“Racers serve for 11 months while living out of a back-
pack,” Neigh wrote. “They experience how others live as they
are immersed in new cultures, forming lasting relationships
with people who bring fresh perspective.”
Neigh will be traveling to India, Nepal, Thailand, Cam-
bodia, Vietnam, Albania, Macedonia, Bulgaria, Zimbabwe,
Swaziland and South Africa starting in January, but she’s
aware that her route is subject to change. Along the way,
she’ll be preaching in churches, visiting kids in orphanages,
doing community construction work and ministering to sex
traffi cking victims, experiences she expects to be “life-giving
and life-changing.” But these will not be her fi rst foray into
service, as Neigh has volunteered her time and talents from
a young age. She participated in Young Life in high school,
volunteering summers working at a camp either baking for
hundreds of campers or serving them in the dining hall. In
college, she served as Vice President of Service on Student
Government, helped with a few Habitat for Humanity trips
in Florida and did mission work in West Virginia. Neigh also
did mission work in Haiti through Mission of Hope, where
she helped paint houses and worked in the orphanages while
experiencing the culture. She later went to Guatemala with
nursing professors to aid medical clinics in several cities and
villages.
“Those experiences have been some of the most rewarding
times in my life; knowing that you helped make someone’s
life a little brighter is an amazing feeling,” Neigh wrote.
Before Neigh can begin her journey, she must raise the ap-
proximately $17,000 her trip is expected to cost. Those inter-
ested in learning more about the World Race or contributing
to Neigh’s participation can visit her blog at courtneyneigh.
theworldrace.org.
Dental care can help prevent periodontal disease
Kids often lament daily dental care. Mom and Dad might in-
sist kids brush their teeth each morning and before bed, but that
doesn’t mean kids enjoy these daily dental rituals.
While it’s notoriously diffi cult to get kids to take dental care
seriously, many adults also approach dental care with something
less than an enthusiastic effort. Dental hygiene routines or visits
to the dentist might not be welcomed with open arms, but their
importance, especially with regards to preventing periodontal
disease, is paramount. To understand that connection better, it can
help to get a fi rmer grasp on periodontal disease, its potentially
negative consequences and how to prevent it.
What is periodontal disease?
Periodontal disease is commonly referred to as gum disease.
An infection of the tissues that surround and support the teeth,
periodontal disease is a major cause of adult tooth loss. Accord-
ing to the American Dental Association, periodontal disease is
often painless, and many adults may have it without even know-
ing it.
What causes periodontal disease?
Periodontal disease is caused by a sticky fi lm of bacteria that
forms on the teeth. This fi lm is called plaque, and the bacteria that
forms creates toxins that can damage the gums.
Are there signs of periodontal disease?
There are signs that indicate the presence of periodontal dis-
ease, and anyone who notices these signs should see a dentist
immediately. Indicators of periodontal disease include:
• gums that bleed when your brush your teeth
• red, swollen or tender gums
• persistent bad breath
• pus between the teeth and gums
• gums that have pulled away from the teeth
• loose teeth
Can periodontal disease be prevented?
As harmful as periodontal disease can be, men and wom-
en should know it can be prevented. Taking good care of your
Routinely visiting the dentist for cleanings and other checkups is one
teeth and making those dental appointments, no matter how
way to prevent periodontal disease, which is usually unrecognizable
much you might fear the dentist’s chair, are great ways to
in its early stages.
prevent periodontal disease.
Keeping gums and teeth healthy requires a daily commit-
ment, but that commitment is easy to make. The following
ing to the dentist, no matter how irrational that fear might be. But
are a few daily routines that can help prevent periodontal disease. skipping dental visits is a recipe for disaster. When detected early,
• Brush twice per day. Brushing twice daily removes plaque periodontal disease is rather easily reversed. But the longer men
and reduces the risk for damaged gums. When brushing, the ADA and women go between dental visits, the more time periodon-
recommends a soft-bristled toothbrush and toothpastes that con- tal disease has to advance, and serious damage can result. When
tain fl uoride, which strengthen the teeth and help prevent decay.
gum disease has progressed to an advanced stage, this is known
• Clean between the teeth every day. Floss or interdental as periodontitis. At this point gums can be seriously damaged,
cleaners remove bacteria from those areas a toothbrush just can’t possibly resulting in loose teeth or tooth loss. So no matter how
reach, such as between the teeth. Flossing is important, as the much you might fear the dentist’s chair, those trips are necessary.
ADA notes that early periodontal disease can be reversed by daily
Periodontal disease often goes unnoticed, placing great em-
brushing and fl ossing.
phasis on the individual to be proactive and take care of his or
• Don’t skip dental visits. Fear of the dentist’s chair is not her teeth while visiting the dentist at least twice annually. More
uncommon. Be it kids or adults, many people harbor a fear of go- information on periodontal disease can be found at www.ada.org.
This message is brought to you by these local sponsors:
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Hours: Monday-Friday, 8am-5pm
Emergency appts. available daily
www.shaneparsonsdmd.com
541
942-9171