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SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ SATURDAY, MAY 2, 2015
A Sporting
V iew
By Mark Vasto
Rise of the
machines
Sport, being competitive
in nature, lends itself to the
act of comparison. This is,
of course, by design. In fact,
it — sports — is nothing
more than a vast and giant
conspiracy that has been
foisted upon the teeming
masses in order to distract
us from whatever it is we
are supposed to really be
paying attention to (and I
have a hunch it has some-
thing to do with numbers)
by bickering over nonsense
like Hack Wilson’s slugging
percentage
and
Pie
Traynor’s wins above
replacement.
Who cares about what
happened to the economic
surplus?
It’s the man keeping us
down, keeping us bickering
with one another so we
won’t get our act together.
They tell us it’s all about
comradery, teamwork and
sportsmanship, but put a
guy from Michigan and one
from Ohio in the same room
and shut the door. They’ll
come out looking like beta
fish — you’ll see. They’ll
tear each other to shreds.
And don’t let the Internet
fool you. Sure, you can go
to Sports-Reference.com
and glean all sorts of num-
bers. You can compare and
contrast your favorite play-
ers from every era and act
like you know it all.
There are a million blog
sites out there that promise
to make you the next Joe
Posnanski, where everyone
is on a level playing field
and Dan Quisenberry can
be in the Hall of Fame.
Don’t kid yourself.
Time was, in order to
glean various statistics you
would go to a news stand
and purchase a daily news-
paper or specialty publica-
tion dedicated to the sport-
ing event of your choice. In
order to support that indus-
try, you needed statisticians,
writers, editors, umpires,
judges, referees, linesmen,
scorekeepers, equipment
managers, groundskeepers
and various other gofers.
One by one, they’re get-
ting picked off those jobs,
but we don’t say anything
because Mulberry U. got a
play-in
game
against
Hooterville Tech in the
tournament.
That will shut us up for a
few. Soon they’ll install the
DH in the National League
and provide bathrooms and
municipal sewer connec-
tions at Wrigley Field.
They’ll take the guesswork
out of the games, and we
won’t say anything ... until
it’s too late.
Next, they’ll get rid of
the fans’ physical presence
(see the Baltimore Orioles).
It’ll save on stadium over-
head, and it’s good for the
environment.
The athletes will be the
last to go ... they’re always
the last to know when it’s
over.
Boxing will be banned,
and then they’ll come for
football.
See
May is Wildfire Awareness Month; prepare today
May is Oregon Wildfire
Awareness Month. Oregon
experiences its heaviest wild-
fire activity during the summer,
but fires occur all seasons of
the year including spring.
During May, federal, state,
tribal and local fire agencies
will be spreading the word
about wildfire prevention and
the steps Oregonians can take
to stop most fires before they
start.
What’s at stake?
Lives, forests and property.
During the 2014 season, 1.3
million acres in the Northwest
were consumed by wildfire,
which includes 868,399 in
Oregon and 425,136 in
Washington.
The total cost to date
exceeds $460 million. Closer to
home, 705 human-caused fires
burned around 20,000 acres on
lands protected by the Oregon
Department of Forestry, nearly
six times the 10-year average
acres. ODF’s gross large-fire
costs were $75.6 million, and
timber losses totaled roughly
$227 million.
The fires destroyed numer-
ous homes, threatened large
communities and decimated
key fish and wildlife habitats.
Remember that wildfires can
start at home. Wildfires that
occur in the wildland-urban
interface often are started by
human activity and then spread
to the forest. Once underway a
fire follows the fuel, whether it
is trees or houses.
“Simple prevention strate-
gies will make the strongest
impact in keeping your home,
family and community safe,”
said Kristin Babbs, president of
the Keep Oregon Green
Association.
Spring is the perfect time,
she said, to remove dead flam-
mable vegetation and limb up
trees around the yard.
To get an early start on
Wildfire Awareness Month,
join neighbors and reduce your
community wildfire risk by
committing a couple of hours,
or the entire day, to help raise
wildfire awareness and work
together with neighbors on
projects that can help protect
homes and entire communities
from the threat of wildfire.
During May, Keep Oregon
Green will promote a new
wildfire prevention message
via traditional and social media
each week to help homeowners
and recreationists learn how to
prevent their outdoor activities
from sparking the next wildfire.
For more information, visit
the websites for Keep Oregon
Green at www.keeporegon
green.org,
the
Oregon
Department of Forestry at
www.oregon.gov/odf and the
Northwest
Interagency
Coordination Center at www.n
wccweb.us.
Ocean Dunes tourney to
Coast Guard offering vessel safety
checks to help prevent boating mishaps benefit Helping Hands
Owners of pleasure boats,
large and small — including
cruisers, fishing boats, pontoon
boats, canoes, kayaks, jet skies,
and wave runners — are
encouraged by the U.S. Coast
Guard and local Marine Law
Enforcement Officials to have
free Vessel Safety Checks
(VSC) of their boats.
In our area, VSCs are per-
formed year-round by Certified
Vessel Examiners who are
members of either the United
States Coast Guard Auxiliary
(USCGAux) or the United
States Power Squadrons
(USPS).
Vessel
Safety
Checks
include mandatory items
required aboard a pleasure
craft, plus 16 other recom-
mended safety and/or discus-
sion items. A boat passing the
VSC receives a Safety Seal
Decal.
Skippers needing additional
safety equipment may receive
a discount on safety-related
items at their local Marine
Stores.
To locate a convenient local
VSC examiner, and to receive
a free Vessel Safety Check,
visit www.safetyseal.net/Get
VSC.
You can also contact
Florence resident and Certified
Vessel
Safety
Examiner
Jonathan Yoder directly at 541-
991-1181.
Note that boats do not have
to be in the water for the safety
checks.
“We encourage Marina own-
ers, Harbormasters, yacht
clubs, marine stores, insurance
agencies and other boating
groups to conduct safety days
or even safety weekends with
vessel checks,” said Yoder.
“We’d be more than happy to
be invited by them to conduct
these free VSCs at their loca-
tions.”
tracts you into being complete-
ly aware of your environment.
• Avoid unpopulated areas,
deserted streets, lonely trails
— and especially avoid
unlighted routes at night.
• Vary the route and the time
of day that you run.
• Run in familiar areas. Note
the location of neighbors you
trust along your route.
• Know where police are
usually to be found and where
businesses, stores, offices are
likely to be open and active.
During the run —
• Always stay alert. The
more aware you are, the less
vulnerable you are. Think
about possible escape routes in
case of confrontation.
• Take notice of who is
ahead of you and who is
behind you. Know where the
nearest public sites are with
some general activity — there
is usually safety in numbers.
• When in doubt, follow
your intuition and avoid poten-
tial trouble. If something
seems suspicious, do not panic,
but run in a different direction.
• Run clear of parked cars,
the public and golfers of every
level are encouraged to play.
Teamwork will be key as this
event is a four-person scram-
ble.
The Ocean Dunes Golf
Links are located at 3345
Munsel Lake Road in
Florence.
The cost is $25.
Non-members pay an addi-
tional $39.95 green fee, which
includes use of a golf cart.
Sign up at the Ocean Dunes
Pro Shop no later than noon
May 8.
Let me Showcase your property.
Sheriffs offer safety tips as spring
runners take to roadsides
Every runner should take a
few moments and consider
their safety while running.
Running is generally a safe
activity, but there are still perils
worth considering and prepar-
ing for.
For example, running at
night, while often pleasant due
to lower temperatures and
decreased traffic, brings with it
the added danger of decreased
visibility. The weather can
pose running safety risks.
Running in extremely hot or
cold weather requires special
precautions, in addition to run-
ning in inclement weather.
Here are some tips to make
your run or jog safer and more
enjoyable:
Before the run —
• Arrange to run with anoth-
er person.
• Leave word with someone
or write down where you plan
to run and when you will
return.
• Carry some I. D. and a cell
phone.
• Take a whistle with you.
• Don’t wear a headset, ear-
phones or anything that dis-
The Ocean Dunes Golf Club
is holding a benefit tourna-
ment for the Helping Hands
Coalition.
The event will take place
Saturday, May 9, with a 9 a.m.
shotgun start. All the golfers
entered in this tournament
begin play at the same time.
The tournament will benefit
the Helping Hands Coalition
which provides hot lunches,
toiletries and other services to
those in need in and around
Florence.
The tournament is open to
bushes and dark areas.
• Run against traffic so that
you can observe the approach
of automobiles.
• If the same car cruises past
you more than once, take down
even a partial license number
and make it obvious that you
are aware of its presence (but
keep your distance).
If confronted —
• Run toward populated
areas, busy streets, open busi-
nesses.
• Ignore jeers and verbal
harassment. Keep moving.
• Use discretion in acknowl-
edging strangers. Be friendly,
but keep your distance and
keep moving.
• Do not approach a car to
give directions or the time of
day. Point toward the nearest
police or information source,
shrug your shoulders, but keep
moving. If you feel you must
respond, do it while moving.
• Don’t panic and don’t run
toward a more isolated area.
— Submitted by Lincoln
County Sheriff’s Office
Richard Beaudro
Principal Broker
541 991-6677
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