WALLOWA CHIEFTAIN.
ruhlWlied Kvrrr Wrrk,
ENTER F RISE OREGON.
A good, sound panl;lng might make
the Kins of Spain a hotter kins.
lugly at It. Work Is the winning horse
In the (treat handicap of life; Idleness ij
never In the money when the Hi fibers
are posted.
The milk of human kindness gets
our If allowed to stand too Ions.
No man ever fell Into the snares of
a temptress If he didn't want to b
snared.
An exchange advertises a "foreed
Bale of pianos." Are the neighbors;
forcing It?
The seriousness of a political bolt
rannot always be determined by the
noise It makes.
King Alfonso Is said to be thinking
of having a punching bag fixed up at
cue side of the throne.
Charity begins at home, ami in the
vast majority of cases It never ven
tures out of the house.
It is always safe to whoop for the
llonroo doctrine. Few people know
what it Is, and those who do are in fa
vor of it.
The only financial crisis the Sultan of
Turkey fears Is a dun, accompanied by
a stiff ultimatum and backed by a fleet
cf war vessels.
If the Turkish Sultan ever goes globe
trotting he may be Inclined to distribute
Ills unparalleled assortment of ultl
tuutuuis us souvenirs.
A woman has committed suicide be
cause her husband refused to let her
go fishing with him. He probably
realizes now what a sucker he was.
It is difficult to see why the President
.should consider the trust problem a
Iiard one to settle, when there is E.
lieu J. Andrews standing around settl
ing great problems every few minutes.
Strenuous" is now the most popular
word in London, threatening even to
push "blooming" to one side. The
President hus made a world-wide hit
with "strenuous." Mr. Cleveland's "iu--uocuous
deseutude" did not cross the
ocean.
Frenchmen In America are planning
to put up a monument in Newport,
Ithode Island, in honor of Admiral de
Ternay, who commanded the fleet
which brought Uochainbeuu and his
soldiers to America. The monument
will stand near the site of the pier at
which the French troops disembarked,
and will be a fitting memorial of a
worthy officer.
When President Hoisevelt turns from
the trusts and the tariff to the debt of
the nation to the fanner he gets upon
! .!.. ,111.1 .w.r. II, .1..1 K,- ..11 liif..ll!..,.n, i.
ers of American history. There may
be room for difference of opinion as to
effective remedies fir monoily and
as to what we should do for Cuba, but
when It conies to the contribution of
the farmer to our statesmanship, to
our scholarship, to our commercial In
tegrity and financial solidity, to the
moral fiber of our citizenship, there can
be no ground for controversy. What
the fanner and the farmer's sons are
doing for the prescription of those
Ideals that lie at the basis of the re
public is not a iHilttlcal Issue. That the
President's eloquent tribute to the
farmer on the fair grounds at Bnugar,
Me., will not be challenged in the whale
wide republic is no reason why such
tributes should go unspoken. It is fit
ting that the acknowledgments of the
nation to the influence and power of
the agricultural classes should find pub
lic expression. While the business of
agriculture has changed along with
other systems of industrial endeavor,
the influences which breed the strong
ineu in finance, commerce and state
craft are still at work lu the country.
Touching this phase of the country life
the President said: "Conditions have
changed in the country far less than
they have changed In the city, and in
consequence there has been little
breaking away from the methods of life
which have produced the great major
ity of the leaders of the republic In
the past Almost all of our great Pres
idents have been brought up In the
country, and most of them worked
hard on the farms in their youth and
got their early mental training lu the
healthy democracy of farm life. The
forces which made these farm-bred
bo'B leaders of men when they had
come to their full manhood are still at
work la our country districts." Farm
ing has progressed along with other
lines of productive Industry. Old meth
ods have been discarded. Farming
grows more scientific every year. There
is greater diversification of crops, and
farming is no longer the life of monot
onous drudgery that it was lu the ear
lier days of the republic. It Is the most
Independent and satisfying vocation on
earth, and with the great number of
labor-saving Inventions that mechani
cal genius has contributed to husband
ry It Is In many respects the most en
joyable. But the country has not
eluuiged. It Is the same healthful at
mosphere, the same uplifting environ
ment And It is from the farm that
the republic must continue to draw
most of the strong men In commerce,
politics and In society.
The judiciary systems of nearly all
the States of the Union stand lu need of
such revision as will tend towurd expe
diting the trial and final determination
of criminal cases, both for the purpose
of impressing more strongly the crim
inal classes, and with a view to the bet
ter equalization of the conditions and
opportunities confronting tne vurious
clases of defendants.
A department has been established in
the Massachusetts Institute of Tech
nology to reduce to an exact science
the prevenl'.on of fires. This may be
accomplished, first, by planning the
construction of buildings In such u
manner as to reduce danger of fire to
a minimum; second, by devising means
for the rapid extinction of any blaze
that gains headway. Considering that
the fire waste in the United States has
leen increasing for the last live years
In the lace of Improvements in the
lire departments and equipment, and
that the loss last year wns S 1 ."VH.4.M ttx i.
It is certainly time an Intelligent cfiort
was made to eliminate avoidable danger.
President Itoosevelt has decided to
recommend that Congress authorize the
Commercial Cable Company to lay a
cable across the Pacilic to the Philip
pines and thence to China. According
to the terms of the provisional agree
ment the government is to reserve the
right to control the cable in time of war
and to buy the franchises and property
of the Cable Company in the Pacific
cable at an appraised valuation, to fix
the rates for messages, and to prescribe
the speed at which messages shall be
transmitted. If Congress approves the
agreement we shall have a seuil-private
cable that may become public when
ever the government chooses to exer
cise its option.
"In this life, as a rule, the Job that Is
easy to do is not very well worth the
doing." Few more pertinent epigrams
thaii this have ever been voiced. The
speaker was President Itoosevelt,
whose life proves that he has followed
the axiom which he voices. Along these
same lines are the words of George W.
Perkins, who is right haul man to J.
Pierpont Morgan, and who said recent
ly: "Too many young men In this coun
try don't want to work hard. They pre
fer to take things easy stay up late
at night and lie abed too long In the
morning. They never can get ahead In
that way. Times and conditions nay
change, but the old rule remains that
there Is no success without everlast
ingly keeping at It." The trouble with
the majority of young men Is that they
get the swelled head. They achieve a
little success :uid then believe they can
neglect their duties and that things
will naturally gravitate their way. The
histories of all successful men prove
that they are persons who have contin
ued at work. They watch little things
and bis things, and they keep everlast-
1
0
If. A. IIAXXA.
POLITICS SHOULD INTEREST EVERY MAN.
By- Marcus A. tianna. Lnired StAten Smnatar tram Ohio.
If you do not make it a point to interest
yourself in politics actively, I menu to
work' for the best principles and to sup
pun the best candidates, yon are not a
good citizen. Your country is a collec
tion of individuals. Its7lwer results
from the union of these individuals. Your
country gives you tremendous benefits.
It protects you in tile enjoyment of your
life, your liberty and your happiness. It
frmir.lu vonr litime vnni ftimitt Imlil-i tin
high ideals for you mid yuur children.
inn reuirn uo you niuKe lor no
Think tlw, miitt.,1. .u'ur 11., run
nstlv think mn ,1., n.i nineh nil rnn ahimhl ill,'
i ue Kovernment ot your country tiegins wltn tne neignDor
hood mucus the caucus that is held just a few blocks from
where you live. It works up from the caucus to the city,
county. State and national conventions', from the township
board to the United State House of Representatives, the
Senate and the White House. Do you attend your caucus?
Do you care to know when or where It will bp held? Would
you give up your least important business or social engage
ments to attend it? Let each man answer these questions
for himself. The man who does not discharge this plain duty
is not the citir.cn he should be. Politics would be oa a higher
plane If all the citixens interested themselves in the caucus.
If you want to do something for your country you always
have the chance if you are in politics. No doubt you would
respond to a call to arms. Of course you would, you" say. Then
why don't you resMnd to the simplest demand? In the matter
of working for the interests of this country there must be no
distinction between classes. Each man as a man must do his
duty. He must prove that he is worthy of the suffrage by in
teresting himself in the government of his own community.
q'unlntance as compared wirti that of his forefathers is simpij
enormous. The acquaintances of any busy tiiiin in the busy
hive of twentieth century industry are numbered not by the
score nor by the hundred but by the thousand.
With an increased htininnitariaiiisai under which men
are more truly brothers than ever before, there is no need in
ordinary cases for the formation of friends-hip's link, at least
ns a means of mutual succor and support.
3. Moreover, the very wear and tear of modern life. Its
ceaseless and increasing struggle in the teeth of ever liervr
competition In all walks of life, the effort that is needed to
gain a livelihood or make a nap -all these leave scanty leis
ure and small inclination for fo.ming new friendships or even
children Ke'I''"K l,l those ulready formed.
all this? ' Friendship, however, perhaps has not changed so mtfh in
rou lion- I degree u m kind. No arguments are needed to establish the
1 admitted truth that the social intercourse of the sexes, which
I i; - .. . i ... i . ....
now supplies so many oi uie closest nun iuoni eAiiu.ru mniu
ships, was in former years far less satisfactory than under
modern civilization it has now become. Indued, in most cases
it was simply non-existent.
And in this great and almost magical elevation of woman
kind mentally, physically and morally, is to be found what I
called just now one of those providential compensations that
are frequently to be met with when at first sight one is apt to
imagine that such and such a virtue that flourished in the good
old times is beginning to fall into decay.
M
KHSfl
There Is no use In trying to cotnbnt
advertising. The goods that are adver
tised are the ones which are bound to
sell. Progressive Advertiser.
If each firm were to take advantage
of one-half the advertising possibilities
of Its business, there would be many
more advertising successes. White's
Sayings.
One con never tell how far a gobd
deed or n good advertisement will
travel. Each one goes on working for
you long after it has dropped out of
your mind.'
The man who makes up his mind ns
to what class of trade he will go after,
and goes after that class with system
atic advertising generally gets It
White's Sayings.
Never wait until the last moment to
prepare copy for advertisements or
printed matter, (iet It into shape early
and thus Insure having plenty of time
to read two proofs and make desirable
changes.
Never use an advertisement that Is
not thoroughly understandable to every-
rea :er. The other kind costs the
same price and brings more business,
and a single word often transforms the
whole from n puzzle to an Intelligent
announcement.
In writing an advertisement try this
recipe: Jot down all the hard hlltlng
things you want to say. all the things
that give specific Information about
the article you wish to advertise. Then
cut out all the driftwood, all the super
fluous words and weak sentences, leav
ing a terse, plainly expressed, easily
understood argument. Give Instruc
tions to have It set In good, plain type,
with a display heading or illustration
which bears directly on the matter,
and you will have an advertisement
that will make buyers. Wheel.
FUTURE OF THE INDIAN.
By General T. J. Morgan.
Will education save the remnant of American
Indians? Yes, as men and women; not as tribes.
The Indians as a peculiar, distinct, separate semi
barbarous people are doomed to disappear, liidiuuisni
is an anachronism and must pass awuy.
Education is the only hope of the red men and
women: it niTers thern uiilrntimi Tl.,, ...,, I,
will be saved as American citizens. Thos vhn mfnau it ixHll
lierisli.
What I mean by this is that It is inevitable that the Indians,
like all other elements in our notional life, must become ob
sorbed by the nation and lose their distinctive racial peculiari
ties, the one exception to this probably being the negro.
It is impossible that the Indians should maintain their
tribnl organizations with separate governments, being a sort of
nation within a nation, and have their own peculiar civilisa
tion: it is both undesirable and impossible.
Education is the means of bringing the individual Indians
into such relationship with our nutioual life that they will
desire the same things which the white people de-ire They
will adopt our ideals or individual hope, cease to think ami
feel like Indians and feel and think only as American citizen.
FORMATION AND CONTROL OF TRUSTS.
By J. J. mil, President ot 6reat Northern Railway.
-.ue oniy serious objection to so-called
trusts has been the method of creating
them not for the purpose of manufactur
ing any public commodity in the first
place, but for the purpose of selling
saeaves of printed securities which rep
resent nothing more than good will aud
prospective profits to the promoters.
If it is the desire of the general gov
ernment, through Congress, to prevent
".c Ki tu oi sucn corporations, it has
always seemed to me that a simple remedy was within its
reach. Under the constitutional provision allowing Congress
to regulate commerce between the States all companies desir
ing to transact business out of the State lu which thev nre
ncorporated should be held to a uniform provision of federal
law. They should satisfy a commission that their capital stock
was actually paid up in cash or In property, at n fair valuation
just as the cap.tal of the national bank is certified to be pa" up
Ith that simple law the temptation to make companies f , ,'
the purpose of selling prospective profits would be at an old
and at the same time no legitimate business would suffer
,IS FRIENDSHIP DYING OUT?
By Rer. J. Hudson. British Essayist.
There is an apparent decay of friendship, and if
we inquire into the reason of this I think we might
attribute it to one or other of all of the following
causes or circnnistuiiccs:
1. In these days of rapid communication by sea
and congestion of human beings for purposes of busi
i iMiTnnui,.' n men ih Kin-it n rn: r ifirn.
wnicn we uve, tne numerical increase of everr ,... ..
i. i. HILL.
CHARACTER VS. SALARY.
Br Gear at fl ktuti-
Men who are trusted with uMi
ought no, to be too young, ft ti 'Z
er with the young than with those who have a rived
at more mature years and have experienced t he "e v,o
trials of many temptations e-ie
It goes without saying that men who are trusted
with large amounts ..f . ,,ro rsted
. nil illftaX n r1 I I
and land, in the frequent and inccKs , t ngrcgaZ I" V "'" ' , aHf of lw ""po t nc , who'''
and congestion nf h,,.n i.i... 7 tio" Positions are without special resr.nn-ii.Hi. . '""1 "
.. .... i, ,,,..,-,.!, increase or everv nmn'. .... , . . .. . "onrs as with ..I..
ANNEX CUBA AS A TERRITORY.
By Representative Robert 6. Coustns. otloa.
I cannot see any assured happiness for
the Cuban people, and 1 mean, of course,
commercial prosperity when I say this,
except through annexation. I have 'al
ways believed that to tie the only solution
of one of the most vexatious problems
that has ever confronted the people of
the United States, to whom Cuba looks
us a Xiild toward its parent. The men
who represent the business interests of
the island have always favored annexa
tion, and to-day they desire it more than
ever. I think it rather premature when
Cuba is spoken of as a possible State in
mil TTninn Thiit la a., ihhiiuNi tlint it i.i
KOHT. O. COUStNS, a WMfe of ttue w u
The bone and sinew ol the Island, the thinking men there,
who have the best interests of their country at stake, desire
a political alliance with the United States, for without it they
cannot occupy a position which gives them standing commer
cially with other countries. I fear the first outbreak will come
from the laboring class, and such a happening would bo most
disastrous. Ixt Cuba come In as a territory before internecine
strife bring, back to her once more the devolution and misery
she suffered through Spanish tyranny.
mm
mm
COLLEGE COURSE MUST BE SHORTENED.
By President Harper. Vnlrersltr ot Cflfrsro.
The feeling grows stronger in every quarter that
the college course, at least for those who are to en
gage In a profession, must be shortened. Many men
who are preparing for a profession are distinctly in
jured by the last year or two in college. There ure
som men for whom the college atmosphere, as dis
tinguished from that of the urofessionnl sehiMtl. is not
a wholesome one. Men who in college idle away their time
in many cases find the more strenuous lif,e of professional train
ing exactly suited to their needs.
It does not seem that the Harvard plan of three years
meets with general favor, even In Cambridge, although, accord
ing to the oUiclal rejiort, 40 per cent of the men now graduat
ing from Harvard College finish their academic work in three
years. It would seem to be a better plan to allow those who
do not contemplate a professional course of study to take the
full four years of work in college anil to arrange for the other
class to count their early professional work as a part of the
work accepted for the bachelor's degree. A great forward
step in the direction of this policy has been taken in the recent
action of Yale. This policy has been adopted ns the basis for
the organization of the schools of medicine and law in the
University of Chicago. It is the most practical solution of the
problem which confronts us and bids fair to be the commonly
accepted solution within a short time.
ARTISTIC TIN VASES.
I i
till
i 890 iffi1
i ' - I
mind It is a question of th. man' .T ,U
snys a writer lu Harper's Weekly. Of
these, HS per cent were common bouse
Mies. The house lly does not bile or
Sting. The irr!itu,!t .1..,.,,... f. i.i...
) " ivi iiuui mill
arises from his neglect to wipe his feet.
ue win tramp over tilth and infected
mutter and straightway track his accu
mulation over unylhliig that any near
by family may lie having for i.imier. it
is easier to discourage tiles altogether
than to teach them better habits. (Jen
eral Enioniolouisr li.m i t..n... ..
...... ,.-, ut i,
e i .
vAieiiiuiiiuioii, nut i ue nrst and
111 .Kt Ill'llet i,Mi lil.i till,.., .. .1.. I . .. .
! - ,niirt iu uo is to leacn
Several women hi Germany ure now , people lu general as much .-is inKni..
making beautiful and artistic oma-. about flies; when and where time ii.-,.o.i
One Definition nf It.
"What do you consider domesticity
In man?"
"It Is the trait of wantiug to stay'
home when his wife wants him to go
out with her."
"And what Is domesticity in wom
an?" "That is the trait of being willing
to stay home when her husband wants
to go out without her." Chicago Post
If the baby cries, and Its father!
doesn't look cross at Its mother, it tisu-'
ally means nothing but this: that there
Is company present.
meuts and household utensils out of
tin. Apparently the first to utilize
ber talents In this direction was Frau
Clara Hoppenrath, of Berlin. She fash
ioned artistic tin vases, and since then
she has made a beautiful imitation of
n cluster of silver thistles, which has
been bought by the King of Koumnula.
Tin is an easy metal to manipulate,
and any woman who is a good artist
will have little dltllculty in shaping It
as she desires. The design must first
be carefully drawn on the tin, or rather
punched In It, and then as carefully
cut out Only a few tools are needed
for the work, and the necessary skill
In their use can soon be acquired. As
decorations for articles of majolica and
wood delicate tin ornaments are now
becoming popular In Germany, and al
most all of them are made by women.
FLItS AND ADMINISTRATION.
Much Is "einir Done Toward a Better
Understand inu.
The present administration Is opposed
to Hies und Is fighting them through the
Department of Agriculture. Dr. How
ard, chief of the division of entomology,
is the general directing the campaign,
which Is being prosecuted at present
chiefly by the distribution of pamphlets
telling nltout nil sorts of flies, their vari
ous habits and dangerous propensities.
For the better study of them 2,300 were
caught in kitchens and dining rooms in
all Larts of the country and put on trial,
una why they ure dangerous. It Is well
known that stables are great nurseries
of tiles, it seems hopeless to attempt
to regulate stables so that flies Won't
breed in them, but a good deal can be
done by the use of knowledge aud of
sense: and where stables are so placed
that their Hies are particularly annoy
ing the use of chloride of lime will ueip
matters very much. The great central
truth about Hies and the danger from
them seems to be, the cleaner the place
the fewer the files and the less danger
from those that are there. Common
flies do uot secrete poison; they merely
carry It. Don't leave any poison around
where they can get at it. Bury filth;
keep garbage In proper receptacles, and
remove it promptly.
Arabian Coffee.
Tbe Arabian coffee maker, having
prepared his fire of charcoal and placed
near It n huge pot containing water,
takes a few bandfuls of green coffee
berries, carefully culls out all Imper
fect berries nnd foreign substances and
then places tbe best of the berries in
an Iron ladle bold over the fire. The
berries are permitted to roast until
they begin to smoke, and are then,
while still uncbarred, placed In a small
mortar and carefully brayed with a
pestle closely fitting' the cup of the
mortar.
The berries are not. Jiowever, re
duced to a dust While this process
TO pot and p,,,,,,' 0VW 111,1 '
:r. who,, ,r 11()W!) or -
Dogs ,,r Wr.
There are numerous instances on pec
ord where dogs hve dlsul , v...l ...
;-fn. intelligence . w"
.'i ng messages while in ut.tIon"
when acting ns carriers t,. .
stations t dis,; n v" "tS r
"l'V '"''"""'. while lu l?',01
uahu.t Indians in i e w K"1UK
would always collect a tlw r?
take them along to the couutrv of
.ostiles. When mportant to 'end b S
messages at a time when It ". i
IW. t get a soldier "ri."
rounding tribes, these do. J , -m
pers attached to their collar.' lm'
r,n K,U-'reo,yp" Phrase.
Many of our stock expressions m.
"rather late." do not tuei v 7n 1" K
one takes their meanlne literal S
little dialogue from the W'. A
Star is a case In point ttsl"uton
"Did any of the Inhabitant. ,
with his lifer In.ulre,," the m wlf
wants harrowing details. ho
"I didn't stop to ascertain
te man who is liUJ
It struck me that If nnvLn
enped without his fe t. ere
u,uch e In his escaping, anyhow
Every time a woman sees a piece In
he paper about the mean actions of a
;rbaiiman 8he tuiuka u
ATCHISON GLOBE SIGHTS.
Comment! on KYerydajr Matters by a
Original Ocnlua.
When you lie, be moderate. Whop
pers don't go.
What lias become of the old-fashioned
boy who ran off?
What "trying" things occur In llfe;
And how numerous they are!
There ought to lie a law against the
bogus Punn ma bats; they look like the
very Old Scratch.
There is nothing more expensive
than experience, und nothing of which
there is more sold.
Women think men have such good
times. Men would like to kuow where
the good times come In. j
A certain woman in this neck'of the
woods has caused three men to b gliot
in six yea in. That's too many. I
The women are becoming such ad
vanced cooks tlint tliey are putting Ev
erything Into Ice crenni but cream. ;
Men use dictionaries at their love-letter-periods,
but otherwise womeui'are
the only ones who look into them. s
There Is an unwritten law among
lioys that If one boy kicks lu a tight
the other has n right to throw a rock.
In most western towns, the arrival of
n good .ball player causes more excite
ment than the arrlvul of a summer
girl.
"If ever I have a disappointment la
love," said n girl to-day, "I am going
te be real old-fashioned about It, and.
pine."
Every time you pass a woman on the
streets, leading her little boy, you will
bear the boy say, "O, mamma, buy tne
some!"
Make nn old girl feel as If she were
ten, nnd It Is a snub, but make her
feel as If she were sixteen aud It 1
Mattery.
We often regret that there Is no mo
nastic order devoted to teaching the
use of bruss baud and orchestral instru
ments. "Walt," every man is saying to the
man ten years his Junior, "till you
reach my age, and you will know what
trouble really Is."
If you have a wronged feeling that
your friends have never showered you
with presents, give out a hint that you
would like a good cnt.
If you are very poor, when you cry.
It is "bawling." "Wept" and "sob
bing," like all other words, are gov
erned by the size of Income.
Every one lias tbe sneaking belief
that there is this much in Christian
Science: Others could overcome their
physical ailments if they wanted to.
They make such costly drinks at
Atchison soda fountains that It Is pos
sible for a girl to make a young man
too poor to mnrry her after three
treats.
When n woman asks you to stay to
supper, ber mind goes off on a light
ning visit to her cupboard, aud If her
manner grows more cordial. It means
that the mental trip was satisfactory.
We have traced It back, and tind
that a Topeka woman some sixteen
years ago named her baby girl Bertha.
Later she was called Birtle, then
Birdie, then Bird, nnd when she was
graduated last week It was "Byrd
eyene." Mothers never know how sim
ple a thing may result tragically.
WESTERNER AND A RATTLER.
Ticklish f Hunt loti i the 8 hank of
John Prentice.
Kenncwlck, Wash., sends word of
this state of affairs: Every time John
Prentice rolls over In bed at night a
big rattlesnake lifts Its ugly head aud
burr-r-rs, and some night there prom
ises to be a battle between the two.
Ten days ago Prentice first heard the
warning burr-r-r of the rattle In his
shack. He is nn old Westerner anil
dwells on the bank of the Columbia,
balf n mile from Kenuewlck and Just
across the river from Pasco.
His cabin Is a one-room affair in the
midst of a wild, sparsely settled, sage
brush country, and Is piled high on
one side with plunder gathered from
the river. Here are dozens of heavy
boxes and other articles which would
ake hnlf a day to drag out.
Prentice heard the rattler, looked
twice at the boxes and then decided
not to Interfere with the Intruder en
scoused behind the mass of rubbish.
He shifted his bed a little and gave up
balf lils bouse to the snake. The rat
tlesnake burr-r-rs at every move Pren
tice makes, but the nervy Westerner
hays little attention to It.
On one side of the shack dweller as
be sleeps Is a big shotgun and on the
other a bottle of approved snake bite.
"If I see that suuke first, heaven help
ulni." remarked Prentice yesterday.
"If he gets on me first, here's the snake
bite. I'm safe either wny."
Why Not? '
"Jack" Nevlns told a group In the
Continental Hotel lobby one eNenlnff
during his last visit to Phlladeipoiu of
a fellow passenger on a Lehigh Valley
train who was unable to find his ticket
when the conductor made the rounds.
The conductor bade the man go on
hunting, nnd ald he would return
when he had collected all the other
tickets. When he returned the pas
senger wns still searching.
"Are you sure you bad It when you
sat down?" asked the conductor.
"Sure!"
"And you have not left your seat?"
"No."
"Well, then," said the conductor,
"you could not possibly have lost the
ticket"
"Why couldn't I?" was the unex
pected retort "I lost a bass drum
once." Philadelphia Times.
Paper Stockings Coming.
A Londoner has nerfected a method
for manufacturing paper stockings.
If a man enjoys bis wealth before be
lias It he never gets rich. 1