Humors take possession of the body, and L- lrds of Misrule. I They art- attended by pimples, bolls, the a-chiiur tetter. Bait rneuin, and other cu- Simous eruptions; by reelings of weakness, SiMUor, general debility and what not. f Tuey cause more uU-rlng than anything f Health. Strength. Peace and Pleasure Inquire their expulsion, and this Is posl- tflv effected, according to thousands of trsleful testimonials, ty ' Hood's Sarsaparilla jVhich radically and permanently Idrlves gueni out and builds ud the whole system. Her Spring. "If ninn sprang from a monkey hat Hid woman spring from?" f "Pon't know." "Why, a mouse." Mothers will find Mrs. Wlnslow's Sooth- tie Svrup the best remedy to use tor their tiiiuren during iiw teeming period. Appalltd. Poctor I'm slightly in doubt as to whether yours la a constitutional dis rate or not. , I Patient For heaven's sake, doctor, tare I got to go to the expense of ap pealing to the United States supreme fc.mrt to find out whether it is or not? Jiichmond Dispatch. I Viewing With A'arm. I "Esmeralda, " aBKed her lather with Jome sternness, "what was that young iongreesnian'n business here last tight?" . J "We were merely holding a caucus, II 1 ! -.1 pa, sue rupuuu. Hi! he rejoined, glancing nt iniethin? that sparkled on one of her gimpely tinpurs, "and you adopted a srinping revolution, did you?" Chicago Tribune. Waiting lor in Order. Col. Abraham Gruber entered a res taurant recently, and, after waiting fall an hour to be served, called the ailer, and inquired how long he hud freen there. "Two weeks," was the reply, I "Oh, then you're not our waiter," replied Col. Gruber. "We gave onr jonier at leust tliretj weeks ago." Xew ork Times. All Explained. Mrs. Twickenham (to Mrs. Slimson) Of late we have been havine our steals sent in by the various caterers. 1 Willie SliniHon (to his mother) Mamma, is that what you meant when 1 you said that Mrs. Twickingham didn't mow where the next meal was coming L-ooi? Exchange. Always in Trouble. Kan Whut is she worrying about tow? I Fan Because she can't think of any Jiiini; to worrv about. leiiiatisi I Rheumatic pains ore the cries of protest nd distress from tortured muscles, nching jl ints anil excited nerves. The blood has iwa poisoned by the accumulation ol aste matter in the evstem, and can nc aonger supply the pure and health sustain ing food they require. The whole system Seels the effect of this acid poison ; and Jot until the blood has been puriBed and brought back to a healthy condition will aches and pains cease. Sr.1v- Jame Ke'.I, of 707 Ninth street, K. E., rilnBton- D- C.. writes as follows: S'A few vonlhsago I had an attack of bciatic Rheums niniUKorform. The lin was go intense that I ame completely proe The attack was an oimiallv severe one, and T condition was regard- u being very danger- I was attended by W the mo't able doc "iin Washington, who is : member of the fac- yof a leading medical jo-rge here. He told tue. W continue fcl ' Jadl would Ret well. After having !' fillet .r. I"?" without receiving the slighlesl EnJ. ' I,dclncd to continue his treatment an JS? heard o S. S. S.(SwiffsSpeciuc) Pmmended for Rheumatism, I decided, almost TiS VP", ,nwrver-to B'v the medicine a trial, JM alter I had taken a few bottles I was able tc I,,.;larund on crutches, and very soon there lu'Zi no u,f for " ' S. S. S. having S;" f .nl aud well. All the distrewiinp t r r"t lcft mt' n-y appetite has returned tilth PPy to aeam rettored 10 perieci tut j-rcat vegetaUi purifier ana tonic, is ; the ideal remedy i:i al! rueumauc irouDies. fcinetali! ; j: : j Fd to ruinous habits. I l'e have prepared a special book on j Weuruatism which every sufferer from i rff rife r--juiuiaisease should read. It is the uare var( or, to express It in famil leki.fl!!!L "wTJ-JL !t tar terms in an agricultural.commuuity. ft kind in existence. It will be sent free r"1" ne desirintr it. Write our nhvsi- ns f utly and freelar about your case. W "t SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, U. SHOP SCOTT ACADEMY foitlaud, Oregon. Founded la? Sij Horns Schm! for Boys. I f Military and Manual Training J ' rite for illustrated CaOilmjua. Li ARTHUR C. NEW1LL, Principal K KW PENSION UWS o .viius HiiimKti. ni"U'XY, W AfcHIMiTON, I.0. - Williams) Avamua ) rORTLAttO OREGON lkcar on Third . tlnxU lo Upper Al bins. Pnont, Pink Itbi Otejcon. in It B J PREM0MTI0S OF DtATH "WW.,,.,,.,; JeTnoat f ai'hth oomed at." said a well-known Wash lugton newspaper man, -but there are oc-cnsmnnlly authentic instances arls ug which rn:s3 uouhu as to whether nf Tn,TV,",tbe-aft'r ne sort of Iniletlnable spiritual phenomena Id the Incidents. -It may be recalled that a well known chief of division In one of the flopartments. n nppnreut perfeit health on the la.t day he appeared at he otfiee. died recently of apoplexy on that night. I have since learned that on the evening In question, shortly be fore he retired, a large dog In his household set up such a rrolonged and dismal howling in his yard that he went out with a revolver, under the supposition that there might be la trunVrs prowling about, although the dog howled and did not bark. The dr." refused to stop howling npon the ap pearance of his master, and followed him in the aouse, whining and show, ng evidences of distress, looking up nto the official's face In such a peon liar manner that the members of the family at the time thought it exceed ing strange. The dog continued to follow his master about the house, act lug stmngely In the manner I have de scribed. On the following morning the official was found dead In his room. "The above incident Is a curious fact, as is also the following, and while not of startling ghostly Interest, Is also local to Washington, the pnrties being members of my own family. "Some time ago my wife's mother started on a Journey to California. Sev eral days after her departure an elder ly colored woman, who had been a B.ave In her family, having been raised with niy wife's mother, called nt the house. As in similar Instances In the South, there had been a warm attach ment existing between former mistress anu slave, which had continued through me. ne declared she had been 'warn ed' thnt my wife's mother had died at nn early hour on that morning on the train. When nsked whether she had received a telegram to that effect she replied that she had not, but that nt the hour in question she had been awakened by the ringing of the front door bell. In responding to the call she had found no one on the steps In each instance, the bell having been pulled three successive times. Her house, by the way, was on a down town street, and was recently razed to make room for a business structure. 'At about 10 o'clock' on the morning of the day when the former slave had communicated the intelligence of my wife's mother's death we received a telgrum from the officials of the rail road, dated from a far Western State, announcing her sudden death at about tue hour when the colored companion of her early childhood had heard the pulls at the bell. Had the bell been rung during the ordinary hours of the day we would have attached no Impor tance to the former slave's positive as sertion of a spiritual visitation from the deceased lady, but ns It was at about 3 o'clock in the morning the In cident has ever been one of more than usual Interest in our family. If the pulls at the bell were not supernatural, they were assuredly a strange coinci dence." Washington Star. Volcanic Dust. The Barbadoes Agricultural Reporter has sent to this office a specimen of the volcanic dust which fell on that island on May 7, S and !(. "Borne from St. Vincent," it says, "in the upper strata of the air, and there suspended, this stuff obscured the sunlight, aud nro- j duced the phenomenon of darkness. In ' color and consistency it resembles I'ort- ltiud cement." It quotes the following description of the dust by W. U. Free man of the local department of agricul ture: "From the calculated results of a series of observations made in Strath-. Clyde on the fall .of volcanic 'ash,' it vuulil swmu that, at a low est! mute. about tuirteeu ounces fell per square foot between the hours of 5 p. m. on W(.dnesUay a,1(i 5 a. m.. on Thursday. This, nerhiins. may not nimear a large amount; but look nt it from another point of view. Thirteen ouiices per square foot means 117 ounces per no less than 10.2 tons per acre. "Leayiug for the while minor units, such as acres, we find that 10,240 tong of volcanic 'ash' were rained onto every square mile of this Island during the last twelve hours of darkness. Suppos ing the fall to have been approximately equal In depth over the" whole Island, the almost Incredible amount of 1,CJ9, 840 tons of solid matter was added to Barbadoes last night." New York Tribune. JJepew's Explanation Failed. About a month ago a constituent of Senator Depew came to Wru to seek his Influence in gettiug an ettice. "You write a letter telling wnnt ywu want and I will forward it with my in dorsement,", said the Senator when h had heard the man's story. !' Yesterday the man met the Senator in the capltol lobby. "You remember telling me to write you a letter," he said. "O, yes." was Mr. Iepew's reply, as be cordially grasped his visitor by the nand. "Vet me see. You sent me the letter,' didn't you, and if I remember rlghtlv, I Indorsed it strongly."' u..No said the man, "I never wrote I the letter. I ve ueen sick. "'uS ton Post. "y ' " ""'', ' j ' x girl is not the real thing unless she ta beau out town..' ' - ' Heredity: "Do yon believe In here Ity?" "Certainly: 1 know a barber who has three little shavers." Ex. Youngman I wonder what's the best way to find out what a woman thinks of you? Henpeck Marry her. Phila delphia Press. Pawson Bjenks is a great believer In fate. Isn't he? Lawson Yes. he has to blame his Incompetency on some thing. Somorville Journal. An Insinuation. Flora Yes, I sing In a church where they have an awfuHy small congregation. Ppra Then why don't you stop singing? Philadelphia Bulletin. Mrs. Swellmnn I dreamed last night that I was with a box party at the opern. Mr. Swellman I wondered why you were talklne so loud in your sleep. Philadelphia Press. Miss Eastside That Is a lovely gown, but haven't I seen It before? Miss Westside No, I think not; I have only worn It at a few smart affairs this season Town and Country. "It says here, Samanthy, thet Rever end Toogood was a saloon passenger on the Majestic. Beats all how them preachers do cut up when they git away from hum." Judge. Arthur Yes. I think Minnie lovea me very much. She's a dear girl; she has a ;arge heart. Harry A heart like a London omnibus: always room for one more. Boston Transcript Clergyman (lately come to parish) Your neighbor. Smith, says my ser mons are rubbish. Farmer Ah. ye needn't mind 'im. Bin 'e's a mouth piece for other folks. Tit-Bi:s. Flossie I'm afraid, Bridget, that mnrnma Is dissatisfied with you. Bridget Is she, now? Faith, thin, she'll soon have a chance to be dissat isfied wit' somebody elsei ruck. Inducements Held Out Harriet What shall I sny In the advertisement for a cook? Harry Well, say that we'll take her with us to any summer resort 81-2 may prefer. Detroit Free Tress. Nothing to Show. "YVbnt is your na tivity?" nsked the magistrate. "I ain't got any, y'r honor," said the blear-eyed Inebriate, feeling in bis pockets; "the police took everything I had." Chicago Tribune. She You wouldn't mind saying this over again to-morrow, would you, dearie? I am a member of the M. P. D. C. Club. "Why, what does that mean?" "Moonlight proposals don't couut." Life. Convincing Proof: May I had no Idea before last night that Mr. Pilcher was a man of such lofty ambitions and exalted Ideals. Maud How did you come to find it out? May He proposed to me. Bazar. Mother There were two apples In the cupboard. Tommy, and now there Is only one. How's thut? Tommy (who sees no way of escape) Well, ma, it was 60 dark In there I didn't see the other one, Glasgow Evening Times. Sure Test: "How can you tell real'cut glass from the Imitation?" asked Mrs. daswell. "You can't, always." salJi Mr. Gaswell, "but when anybody offers you a piece of real cut glass for fifteen cents, don't buy It." Chicago Tribune. "Will you please raise my salary?" "Why, I gave yon a raise only last week, because you told me that you ! had your mother to support. "I know, , but my mother got married aud now I i have two to support." Ohio State Jour ' nal. I Farmer (In cart) II I. stop: Stop, I vou fool'. Don't you see my horse is ' running, away? Driver of motor car (hired by the hour)-Yes, it's all very well for you to say "stop, but rve rot- gotten how the blooming thing works! -Punch. , Bobbie You know them preserves out in th' pantry wot you told me not to eat? Mother les. Bobble ou I . -.1.1 . I .- ,1 n,nbn I. !..!. IS KnOW you MUU I i" J u ummr iaiit Dim 11 I et 'em, didn't you? Mother Yes. Bobble Well, they didn't. Ohio State Journal. "Belinda, your brother Georgle tells me that you were sitting on that little Mr. Thomklus' kuees last evening. Is It true?" "Yes, papa; but I'm sure you will forgive me. It was Just one of those little moral lapses, you know." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Haddock I met poor old Ituyns creeping towards bis office to-day. aud he complained bitterly of being all run down this spring. Juddock (defensive ly) Well, confound him, he had no business getting in front of an auto mobile. Harper's Bazar, The Floor Walker: First Clerk Poor Jim! It will be a long time before he gets another place. .Second, Clerk Don't you believe It Why, be got a place as floor walker. First Clerk You don't say so? Second Clerk les; he's got a new baby. Judge. "' ' t Mr. Williams (Fanny's admlren is your sistah going to the seaside this summar. Tommy? Tommy That all depeuds on you. I heard ma -say It you and Fanny were engaged before the season opened, there wouldn't be any sense In her going. Stray Stories. The Kind That Get Away. "That lit tle minnow," said the first fish, "seems to have got a big opinion of himself all of a sudden." "Yes." replied the other, "he managed to wriggle off a hook this morning, and then heard the fish erman bragging about his size." Phil adelphia Press. ' ' ,;.' Tour Shirt. . If the earth were equally divided among its inhabitants, eih peis-on would get about 23 acres. Provt It We want yon to prove onr staten-ent that Monopole ffpices are the purest nd strongest in the rorld. For sale by all grocers. To enable you to do so, we will send you free a 10-cent tin of white pepper or cayenne, or ginger or any other variety yon may prefer, if you wilt send ns two ?-oent stamps for i I postage, and give ns the name and ad dress of your grocer. Triie coupons packed with every can. Send to Wad hams & Kerr Eros.; Portland, Oregon. To Continue Thi Dispute. "I wonder how they ctme to marrv each other?" "They were nnable to decide which was the better ping pong player." Exchange. T.ftillra Cnn Wrsr Shnri One lie smaller aftrr usitiir Allen's Foot-Ksse. Cures swollen iet. blisters on J illoiisitsnd is certain cure lor iiiirrowlnsj imils, sweating, hot, aching feet. At 11 lmiggists. ay 1 riel c.kun FKEK l.y mail. Address Allen 8, Olm sted, LeRoy, N. v.. What Hsppentd. "Did the sermon produce nuich enectY" i "Well, it was followed by what you i might call a religious awakening." i Agetable PreparalLonror As similating IticFoodandBcgula ting the Sloinadis rtnd Bowels of Promotes Digcstion.Cheerrur ness and Rest.Contains neitlier Opium.Morphine norIineral. NoxKahcotic. sb afOUO-SiMLTLPITCHat fimfJtm Seal jUx.Smui ' jkatirtml e Bt duiauUiJUf Apetfecl Remedy forConslipa non, Sour Stoinach.DiarThoca Worms .Convulsions .Feverish ness and Loss of Sleep. Facsimile Signature of NEW YOUK. exact copy or wrapper. ""- - . ,rr.zr;-rr- .... . m, . ...'-irT" 1 - - - n uik wml uui oi your system, ana eei ready for the summer's trials with clean, clear blood, body, brain free from bile. Force is dangerous and destructive unless used in a gentle persuasive way, and the right plan is to give new strength to the muscular walls of the bowels, and stir up the liver to new me and work with CASCARETS, the great spring cleaner, disinfectant and bowel tonic. Get a 50c box to-day a whole month's treatment and see how quickly you will be 25c. ALL DRUGGISTS. CURE all bowel tronblaa. louaueaa, bad brenth, on the aComacb, b ion mm.ll. li.o.UI.. n . r. ..Tti ir I 1 "iris II 5 i-KLC . ... .uu.uc-b.iu, iiiiiiiira. pallia after esllnj, liver (rouble, aallow complexion ailfl lllfvln... ILL., w . . . . larly yon are getting alelr. CouaUpatlon kllla uiora people Iban all other dlaeaees together. It la a j i ttmXl'T r' " cbronlo allinenla and long; rears of arrerlog- that come afterward. No matter what ''.yon. atart taking CAM Aft IT lo-dsr, for sou will never get well and be well all the tlmenntll f."Jni FSnr lowe' right. Take onr advice atart :. wttta CAiCAHETI to-day, under an abaolute guar antee to cure or money rfclunded. M Mitchell Wagon. aw sVsrsTaMsm Best on Earth Peesnse It hi mule nf the best material pmlh to buy. Ihe iiiniitiiMin-ni atn.i.lui,'iv AV -i to )er fenl simve the mnrket rhv ol ti4l era, Irs ol wacon tlnilier for the prl iliir of c-m-linir over ar.it nkiimiiliig off the rrvam of tlx atoll slm R, liu h ln.-arn.it Aa-1 to 4 V(.r b re niaktiiK njv hW'h mean mi liivitnu.ul III WiMXl Ktook of m-arty one million dollar. Mll lit- I.L Wa-oiia are ittiMiriniAiMvt r quality, inHrtkii, Bnlsli. strenglli aud llhl JUI'MhlC W hy take chanoo An auv oilier? Win 11.. I tw Hi U-i.it A MlU IIKt.t. Mltclll, Lawlm t Star or Co. rorilaud. heattle. ' MpoKaua, llolsa, Avnts Fverywbera. SurTlTora nf Indian M ara or Widows of I Sui-h as are llerea.eil: By recent ai-t of oonurewi you h.ve a claim fvr reiiHlon at thf rateiir.ui pt-r iiiuiiln. Keml ,i ma for n.lk-ll,.n. A il.lrvss T. W. -'allniaiU-o, Wanll Ingtoti. 1. L'. A reiialon Attorney fur tui-ty euis. Old Indian War Pensions I Cons. ngreas has just passed a law granting pan 1 to the survivors and to the widows of do- ri.-ii w in- 1.1111 iv.irp anu io me suniwi Ol UO- "aaed aoldiemof the Oregon, Washington and . California Indian wars of 1M7 to In. Full in. niriiiniioii win lie aeui ov nvingiou A n llson. No. T'JS Seventeenth Street, ashingtou, 1. C, or Branch ofllee No. 412 1'arnitt liiillditig, bau Francisco., Cal. Fees limited by law. For Infants und Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Signature of Use For Over Thirty Years thi esMTaua commmv. nsw voaa crrv. a srrr. t f " 1 " 11 11 i" I Signature Ay 1 r ,fft In mm He thinlcs he lives, but he's a dead one. No person is really alive whose liver is dead. During the winter most people spend nearly all their time in warm, stuffy houses or offices or workshops. Many don't get as much exercise as they ought, and everybody knows that people gain , weight in winter. As a rule it is not sound weight, but means a lot of flabby fat and useless, rotting matter stavino- in the body when it ought to have been driven out. But the liver was over burdened, deadened stopped uork. There you are, with a dead liver, and right now is the time for resurrection. Wake up the dead! BROUGHT BACK TO NEW LIFE BY appendleltla. fcll- GUARANTEED bad blood, wind ted bowels, foul . i . idOxetsi blfcUUAU ' -- sr aua, arvm v HI M asslalla Bf 1 W1 arUgll .7 t mum iur money Dark rr t 5 mT . our dTle mttr whut alls uu-sti.ri 3 wail tUICKIV IOIIOW t4ua VOI VOU sSfB.sllg vfMsl tlidh n.a naTt!- td A U r 1 JOHN POOH!. PORTLAND, ORt-. I 41.1l of MiMilson Street. Can rlre rm te ! --fs n in Rolle-r atnl r iiri;ei. U inttnUW. t'tim, athl ieti IKl 1"'.lm'ry. U.i.l Mining Mai'biliM a leeialty. s-ee us heur h mug. liOI'IT'S SCHOOL I I'arents desiring hum Inrltieiieea. heaiillfa siirmundlnga. rvneet elimate. earedil suivr. tision. and thorough mental, moral and plT Iral training for their t;s. will find all lhas reqiilrenieius lullr met at H.. Ill's Sebuul. Mauls, l ark, San Mateo County, tsi. hand (or Catalogua. Iwallti year begins Angnst 13th. IKA u. UU1I I', I'b. I).. PrtnlgX DR. C. GEE WO HOMt; trl;atmunt X w.m.l.TliI ( ilMtir In toIiwI ki ttt une hr tarv IH'tiplr wiihrMit otarv tiiu tlmt nr gm-n up In ill1. irm wtih ttlUtM WiUHltTlUl t'M-M-Kt llrlM. rMtH, hlMltV. tmt kihI viKrihl nm itr vnllri'ly ut Mown In intstlinl im'I- ' In (hwtwiMirjf, Thr-nih lb umml IImm hurmlrw. rtiivlift thin ruiiKiua dticii.r kmnn ittr ncllon r uvvr HW ll(T'rtiit rmr4.1fM, wbtrb lit l. UIVlll UMt 111 Illffcrt1ll tliiM'IIIMW. IU KUnrMtiliN-M Ui rum rtrrh, km lit in m, Iuihu tlirul, tlifUmilUui, iMTVnuattfNi, itoniwU. Uvit, kliliir.VK, vtr. ; tint. tiuiHlrtM of titiimitf hiln. liHiiffn nxxlrri-tf. 4 nil aii.1 f litiiu I'tdlfnln tun of the dl v wrtir for blmtkn Mitd rm-nlr. HhihI 4 cvnln in ntnmtm. CliNHtir THE C. GEE WO ChlKESE MEDICINE CO. IJZ't Third M.a PorlUnd, Oret Cripples, I OMk Hpr I ''r.v wwi ol ntiituw lwrv I IWI W timklnir nriltMu. Itnil. brni, drfi.rmliy uppniMiim wml hII kttnln -ri-Hi.tpltM. l.nteMi kmhK tw'Hi mniif. Writ um mid wt'U sliuw ou IhU'mi uppllHiicv Ur yvur VVlern Aluminum Artlfklal Umb Co. It-T.1 Vhltminii Nt, 1 lia MtximlfH. PurtUnd, Oretrun. W. L. DOUCLAS $3&$39 SHOES W. L. liotilas hhtieH are the gtan flard of the world. 'J'IiIh Ih th renaon AV. I DiiiikIiis nrnkt-H and kcIIh un,r niii' ;i.oo antl :..() Hhoes thun uur other two rniitiiifiifttneiH. W. L. DOUCLAS $4 SHOES CANNOT Pgr rvrci en Ji.103.s20 1 :::;... .2.30, Sett moor'srf ani Amtrlcnn Irathrri. Htyl'm fattntCalf. Ermmel, Box Calf, Calf. VM til. Clfnm Colt, Hat. Kangaroo. Fast Color l- yeli la iimiI. Caution I rh genutna hn w. i. DOVOI.AaT name anil prlca etamiiert ou bottom. by mail, itir. rxlm. (, (ululpg fnt W. L. DOLIOI.AS. BUOCKTON. MAS. K. P. N. U. SI 10. . - i - W,,,N writn to ad.artlaara plaoaa 1 f snantlosl tola papar. I NEVER SOLD IN BULK. TO tlTHKi Five rears ago the Urat baa or C'AHCAU KT was .old. Aow It la over alx aalllloa buaes as ( ill u .v.tu-rji -ss staullar meoielne la the vrerld. T hi. Is absiilale ur.mf of" will sell C.SrAlltTt Hbaolalelr goaranteea to tm, ,r neney r.fuad.il. tio bag today, two aOc kes.i, give tlieaa m fair, honest trlnl, as per simple direction., and If you nr. oat sall.liad, after a.lua one .lle.oi, retnra the aaiaaed SOe I k irons alb Ito- iwlll bleaa the daw BfcghDI CO., KkrT liKa or CuitAfiO., ;