All Humors An Impure matters which the Bkln, liver, kidneys and other organs cannot take care of without help. Pimples, bolls, eczema and other erup tions, loss ot appetite, that tired feeling, bilious turns, fits of Indigestion, dull head aches and many other troubles are due to them. They are removed by Hood's Sarsaparilla ' In usual liquid form or in chocolated tablets known as SarsatabS. 100 doses $1. Next. "Step up and take your medicine!" "fwas Uncle Sam that spoke it. And now the tobacco trust will please Put that In its pipe and smoke it. Mothers will And Mrs. Wlnslows Soothing By r up the lx st remedy to uso tor thoir chlldrej during the teething period. Choice of Terma. "Is Mr. IJliggins a Rood golf player?" "No," answered Misn Cheyenne, "I happened to be sufficiently near to hear his language when he made a bad stroke. He may be an expert player, but he is not a good one." Washington Star. CITO Bt Vitas' Dance ana all Nervous Diseases f 1 1 O permanently cured hy Dr. Klme'n Gn at J'nrve Restorer. Henrt for FRKK 'l trial bottle and treatise. i)r. U. 1L Kll a, LA., Wil Arch at., l'hll.plJi. Privileged. Japan was asked if it considered th presence of American craft in the Pacific objectionable. "Not altogether," it responded, pleas antly ; "we accord you freedom to run aj the boats necessary between San Fran cisco and Oakland.' With a grateful heart Uncle Sam real ized that the threatened trouble was no) to eventuate. Philadelphia edger. Habitual " A' 1, IrUUMI JUUUU i i Mayb av bo Dcrmnnonllv overcome bv nrotw . Ji --il &. ' uursonm etforis wan ine assistance of ito one iruty oeneiinai lavuiiu ' i w. j i r. j t it i . nd Llui remeuy, uyrup of hps ana L-iuiroMonna which enables one to form regular nabits daily so that assistance to na ture may be gradually dispensed with when no longer needed as the best of remedies, when reautrod, are to assist nature and not to supplant the nutur ol unctions, which must depend ulti mately upon proper nourishment, proper efforts, and right living generally. TojJet its benojicial effects, alwuys huy the genuine 'i manufactured by the California Fio Syrup Co. only SOU? BY ALL LEADING DRUCOSTS one size oiuy, l eulur price 50f p Uottlc. IRRIGATED LAND IN WASHINGTON Tlie WenaUhee Valley Irrigated Ap ple Orchards are paying f500 to flndC ier acre this year. Cascade Orchards, one mile from leaven worth, is now on pale. Get particulars free Irom H. C. Peters, 622 Alaska Bldg., Seattle r 1 V I m D0Y0UKN0W THE TOT WEATHER COMFORT AND PROTECTION afforded by a Slicker? Clean -Light Guaranteed .Waterproof 3 " Everywhere BOtJMCt mm USIIIESSCOLLEGL TENTH AND MORRISON STREETS PORTLAND, OREOON A. P. ARMSTRONG, LL. B., PRINCIPAL. Quality is our motto. We educate for success, and send each student to a position when com petent many mora calls for help than we cu meet. Individual instruction Insures rapid prog ress. All modern methods of bookkeeping ar taught; also rapid calculations, correspondence, commercial law, office work, etc Chart icr if our shorthand easy, rapid, legible. Beaut if a catalogue, business forms and penmanship free C. Gee Wo The wall known reliable CHINESE Root and Herb DOCTOR TTri mtvle a life ntndy of roots ami ho rim. and in thnl tutiy diMovrM nud in riv. In to tho world hii wonder ful rumedien. No Mercury. Poisons or Drugs Usd He Cures Without Operation, or Without the Aid of a Knife Ho o"""itnttM to Cur 1'ntHrrh, Awthnift, laintt. rhroAt, Khfiiiiirit Ism. Ntrvoneiw. Nnrvoim iVhility, Htomni'h. Ijvor. Kidney TrouliJcaiHlHO Ijrmt Manhood. Kama I f Wpiikntw And All 1'rivnto UineniHw. A SURE CANCER CURE lust Received from Peking, China Safe, Sure and Reliable. IF Ton ARE AFLIfTKM. ION'T PFXAY. DKLAYS A HE DANOKKOITS. COISSL7L.TATIOIN FUBB tf you cannot enll. write for prmpton blank and olrcu Inr. Inrlna 4 rent In ptumpn. THKP. UKK IVO ("HINKSE MFl'ItTNE CO. E2 1-2 t int St., Cor. ilorrlaon. Portland. Oregon. Flense .Mention This Taper. r. n. u. Na. 4007 1TJHEN writing to advertisers please 11 mention this paper. ITe So your husband hna given up smoking. Tbat wnnts a pretty Htrong will. Sbe Well. I've Kot one. Punch. Daughter She seems to have got over the death of her first busbnud. Futber Yes, but her second busbund hasn't IMck-Me-Up. Mrs. Smalltown Would you accept a place in tho suburbs? Cook I'll con sider it If yez have room In your garage for me motor. Town Topics. "What did you thlnn of tbat girl at her eoinlng-out party?" "Well, to be perfectly frank, I thought she'd better go back!" Leslie's Weekly. Mother But what do you expect to do later, my son, If you never learn to wrlto? Sou Oh, that will be all right I'll buy a typewriter. Silhouette. "Mny I call you Mabel?" be asked at their second meeting, pretending to be badly smitten. "If you wish to; but my name Is Gertrude." Chicago Uec-ord-IIerald. Candidate for Crew Could you tell me where the rhetoric class Is being held? Candidate for Football I don't know; I'm a student here myself. Town Topics. Employer This makes the fourth grandmother of yours that has died this spring. Office Boy I know it; ain't tbese family troubles fierce Cornell Widow. Snooks To what do you attribute your success as a tradesman? Sellein If a customer doesn't see what he wants, I make him want what be sees. Illustrated Bits. "What's become of your umbrella?' "I loaned it to Tompkins." "Why doesn't he return it?" "The owner caught him with It and demanded it" Milwaukee Sentinel. "Father, do all angels have wings?" "No, my son, your mother has none." And then nho said, sweetly, tbat he might go to the club If he wouldn't stay late! Atlanta Constitution. Teacher How long' had Washington been dead when Roosevelt was inaugu rated? Scholar I dunno, but it hasn't been very dead since Teddy has been there! Lipplncott's Magazine. "Do you think cabbage Is unwhole some?" asked the dyspeptic. "It de pends somewhat, answered tue ioou expert, "on whether you eat it or try to smoke It." Washington Star. "Mrs. Uogers Is a perfect slave to her husband." " hat does slie cio.' "Would you believe it? Every year, on bis birthday, she gets up in time to eat breakfast with him." Leslie's Weekly. Teacher You have named all domes tic animals save one. It has bristly hair, It is grimy, likes dirt, and is fond of mud. Well, Tom? Tom (shame facedly) That's me. Chicago Trib une. Mabel (aged six) Ain't you afraid of our big dog? The Tarson (very tbin) Xo, my dear. He would not make much of a meal off me. Mabel Oil, but he likes bones best. Chicago Daily News. "A tramp fell Into the water tank of a locomotive and rode twenty-seven miles without beinir discovered." "Was he unconscious when found?" "No. T'nrecosrnlzable." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Dolly Molly Wolcott told me month nzo that her new gown was going to be a dream. Polly Well, that is all It Is, so far. Her husband won't give her the money for It. Somerville Journal. "And do you have to be called In the morning?" asked the lady who was nhont to eniraire a new girl. "I don't has to be, mum." replied the applicant, "unless von happens to need me." Yonkers Statesman. "Your sentence is to be suspended hezan the merciful court. "Great Scott, Jedge!" exclaimed the prisoner, "ef I'd knowed chicken stealing was a hnnglng offense I wouldn't have stole," Philadelphia Ledger. "Which do you prefer," said the ar tlstie young woman, "music or jxetry?" "Poetrv." answered Miss Cayenne. "You can keep poetry shut up In a book. You don't have to listen to It unless you choosy." Washington Star. "Excuse me, sir," remarked the weary wayfarer, "but I don't know where my next meal Is coming from." "Neither do I," roplled the prosperous-looking- individual. "My cook left this morning, too." Philadelphia Record. "Oil, madam," said the French maid, "Fido weol not eat ze bon-lons." 'The dear, Intelligent little doggie!" exclnim ed Mrs. Rich. "There must be some thing wrong with thoso ltonbons, Cloe. Give them to the children." New York Evening Mall. Does Your Heart Beat WHAT IS A "LADY." Yes. 100,000 times each day. Does it send out good blood or bad blood ? You know, for good blood is good health; bad blood, bad health. And you know precisely what to take for bad blood Ayer's Sarsaparilla. Doctors have endorsed it for 60 years. One frequent rains of barl tilnnd Is a ulnuplnh liver. Tina produces cmiKtiputmn. I'oiionous iubHtaiictiH are then altKorbi.-d into the blood, iiiHiea'l of llri rprmivHil from the liody daily an nature Intondt-il. Ktp tlif bowels open with Ayer's 1'ilU, liver jjiIIs. All vegetable. A1 i &iers Made by J. C. Aynr Co., Lowell, Maaa. auo manufacturer or HAIR VIGOR. AOl'E CURB. CHERRY PECTORAL. Heady for Him. Last summer a well-known professor with bis family went to a small sea side resort on the New Jersey coast and boarded with a farmer. This year he wrote to the farmer, and In his let ter he said : "There are several mat ters I should like changed If I board at your house again. We do not like your servant Jane and we think a pig sty so near the house is not sanitary." The farmer replied, "Jane is went and we ain't had no bogs 6) nee you went last August." How to Make a Furniture Potlah. To make a furniture jwlish use one ounce of brown beeswax, one-half ounce of white wax, one-half ounce of castile soap, one-half pint of turpentine and one-half pint of water. Shred the brown and white wax into a Jar (a two pound jam jar will do), add the turpentine and let it stand on the stove until dissolved. Shred the soap and let it boil In the water until quite dis solved. Allow to cool, then pour into the Jar and stirr all the Ingredients to gether. When cold, it will be a thick cream and must be kept ,air tight. For old furniture this produces a deep,. glowing polish quite different frpm any other, and it does not finger mark. Shake Into Your Shoes Allen's Foot-Kne. A powder. It makes tight or new shoes feel easy. It is a certain cure for sweating, callous and hot, tired, aching feet, fold by all Pniirgists. Price 25e. Trial paek ara mailed FHKE. Address Allen S. Olmsted. LeKoy, Kcw York, Facta About ColTee. Coffee originally came from the Is land of Mocha, when in tho year 3C10 coffee trees were transported to Hol land. This article of diet was first scientifically cultivated at Surinam by the Dutch in 171S. Though coffee was not known either to the Greeks or Ro mans, it was used as a beverage by the Persians in early times. The first cof fee house of which there is any record was opened in Constantinople in 1511, and coffee was first brought to France in 1GG2 by Thevenet, the famous traveler. Funny Dcfloltlona by ICnuMib School Child ren. Some elementary school children were asked to write down what they understood by a lady. Some of the answers deserve a wider publicity than tbat of the magazine of the Gra.vstoke (L. C. C.) Training College, England, In which they were recently published. The following is a selection: Ada (aged 7). A lady marls a man and she goes in a carlsg or she goes in a motor. Sometimes she Is a rich lady, sometimes she goes to a ball, and she has glasses when she can't see, and when her father dies she la a widow. , John (aged 8). A lady is a pres (person) And a Cookmaed And a lady does the wrek (work) And a lady don the doorstep And Clens the handle of the dore And the nokre And the stevos (stoves) And the tadools And bred. liertle (aged 7). A lady has got a love hares, (house) and have got some serves and lovely frames and a ring and a lovely long hair and a pony trap. F.die (aged S). A lady has a very nice house and she has nice things In It and when she is married she has very nice wrings and then she mite have a nice husband and sometimes 1m; treats her to nice things and then they be kind to each other. Lizzie (aged 7). A lady Is some thing like a man. But she's got long hair and she's got a different face and different clothes and she's got a lot of work to do. Ernest (aged 7). A lady is a mother oo as a ot of children and she thest (tries to get rid of her children. Harry (aged 7). A lady Is a maid and sometimes a cook tiiat cooks the dinner, and a lady as a skirt, and when lady isn't married she is called a widow a lady has lone hair. Dolly (aged ). A lady Is a kind Wooman. A lady is a Guvnals. A lady Is a Ruler. A Indv Is a kind and sen tie wooman to us and gives us clothes. Jack (aged 7). A lady Is a nice woman because she don't have torn clothes, and she has a woch with her and she has a chane on the woch. Ned (aged7). A lady Is like a Mis tress and like a sister and she prhers (preaches) to people and telihs (teaches) about God. Charles (aged 6). A lady Is diver ent irom a man because a lady has difrent clothes from a man and a bulv has Different eyes from a man and a lady has Different body from a man and a lady has Different shoes from a man. Jack (aged C). A lady has A dress and A man hasn't, and A man has A top hat and A lady hasn't ODD) SOME FED AND KEPT OPEN jBY IMPARITIES IN THE BLOOD Whenever a sore refuses to heal it h because the hlood h not pure and healthy, as it should be, but i3 infected with poisonous germs or some old blood taint which has corrupted and polluted the circulation. Those most usually afflicted with old sores are persons who have reached or passed mid dle life. The vitality of the blood and strength of the system have naturally begun to decline, and the poisonous germs which have accumulated because of a sluggish and inactive condition of the system, or some hereditary taint which has hitherto been held ia check, now force an outlet on the face, arms, legs or other part of the body. The place grows red and anry, festers and eats into the surrounding tissue until it becomes a chronic and stubborn uleer, fed and kept open by the impurities with which the Mood i3 saturated. Nothing is more trying and disagreeable than a stubborn, non-healing sore. The very fact that it resists ordinary remedies and treatments is good reason for stspicion; the same germ-producing cancerous i:lcers is bach of every old sore, and especially is this true if the trouble is an inherited one. Washes, salves, nor indeed anything else, applied directly to the sore, can ' I wa, afflicted with a .ore en my ? a" permanent rood ; neither will remov- was acmaUpimplo at iirst but It surgeon's knife "'( o Intinrr raw Tf gradually Krow larger and worse bur0-a S enile me a lasting cure. IX in everv wav until I Vinnmno everv article of the diseased flesh vcerr aiarmea about Jt and consulted taken awav Another cn'o vrm1r1 r-nmt K neveral physicians. Thoy all " "W , . . , WOUia come, D" now pure and healthy from tho effect of S. S. 8., and there has not been any sig-n of tho sore since B. S. S. cured it. ' THOS. OWEN West Union, Ohio. treated me but the eore continued cause the trouble is ia the blood, and the to irrow worse. ItiwS. S. H. ml. ntmnn iiuvnT m Vertised and commenced iY use . UI VT. and after taking it a while I was The cure must come by a thorough cleans completely cured. My blood is fnrr nf Mr! T-, K f,,l a remedy for sores ar.d ulcer3 of every kind. It is aa unequalled blood purifier one that goes directly into the circulation and promptly cleanses it ef all poisons and taints. It gets down t tho very bottom of the trouble and forces out every trace of im purity and makes a complete and lasting cure. S. S. S. changes the quality of the blood so that instead of feeding the diseased parts with impurities, it nourishes the irritated, inflamed flesh with healthv blood. Then the sore begins to heal, new flesh is formed, all pain and inflammation leaves, the place scabs over, and when S. S. S. has purified the blood the sore is permanently cured. S. S. S. is for sale at all first class drug stores. Write for our special book on sores and ulcers and any other medical advice you desire. We make no charge for the book or advice. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC ATLANTA, CAm PURELY VEGETABLE Oranget, This Is the West Indian way of pre paring oranges for the table: Peel the oranges, taking off as much white skin as possible; then slice them off all round as you would an apple, regard less of the sections. This leaves the seed, tough, stringy central part and most of the inner skin together and is a much less tedious process than re moving the skin by sections. Use a very sharp knife, so as to make clean cuts and not crush the fruit. UOWAKO E. BUriTON.-Assayer ars Chemlnt. Leadville, CohirauoL Specimen prices: Uold, Silver, Li-ad, (I ; tiold, Sliver, TV-; Gold, 6oc; Zinc of Copper, il. Cyanide tests. Mailing envelopes an4 full price list sent on application. Control and Um pire work solicited. liKlereuce: Carbonate Ra tional Bank. ENGRAVING Write Us PLATES rOR PRINTING HICKS-CN ATTEN Portland Oregon BLACK GIRL A NOVELTY THEEE. It Outer Approach. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." "Yes, my dear, but his teeth have some thing to do with it. A girl friend of mine once lost a promising young man by giv ing him a cut of cherry pie of her own making. She had left the seeds in It." Chance to Prove lllmxelf. She I would never marry a man w1k was a coward. He About how brave would it bo necessary for bun to be In order to win your approval? She Well, lie'd have to have courage enough to er propose. Chicago News. rjiamplra, "The country air developos nn enor mous appetite, doesn't it?" commented one summer boarder. "Yes," answered the other; "Judging by the mosquitoes." Washington Star. The Dear Friends. Gladys When are you going to fore close on Gerald? Esmeralda To foreclose? What do you mean? Gladys I saw you sitting in the con servatory last night, and you seemed to have a lean on him. Chicago Tribune. A Canine Secret. - "You can always tell the people who are unhappy from the look of their faces," said the tired woman, "but if you look out into the court of a morn ing you never can tell which dog it is that has cried all night and kept you awake." New York Press. Poaalble Explanation. Traveler Why is it that Manila, under American occupation, is cleaner and more wholesome thnn many of your American cities New York, for example? Native Uncle Sam has thoroughly as similated Manila. He hasn't assimilated New York yet. Some Good In It. "Gracious," exclaimed the first coun try boarder, "see how muddy that water is the cows are drinking. Wby, It is postlvely thick." "Yes," replied the other, "perhaps the milk won't be so thin for a coupU of days now." Philadelphia Tress. HIIUU MAIU UIGQdb lengthens the life of the wagon saves horse power, time and tern per. Best lubricant ia the world contains powdered mica which forms smooth, hard coating on axle, and reduces friction. If you want your outfit to last and earn money while it lasts grease the axles with Mica Axle Grease. SIANUAKUUILCOKPANT I-r.r.t.. I I B am mi I i Why One Fnmily Will Xot Tnke a Colored Maid to France Aain. "My wife and I went to France not long ago to see her parents, who live In that country, and we took along my wife's maid, nn extremely efficient col ored girl, who has bei In the family a long time." said J. T. New Orleans at the New Willard. ac cording to the Washington Herald. "This girl, besides being nn excellent creature, is about the complexion of the ace of spades, the deepest of blacks, for she is the direct descendant of slaves of unadulterated African blood. Next year we may go again to France, but we will leave the maid nt home. "What for? Well, that colored girl created a sensation that we never dreahied of. It seems that In many parts of France no colored person had ever before been seen and this one was a novelty that whenever she appeared crowds gathered to look at the unac customed sight. This was carried to such nn extent as to prove very em barrassing to us and It also worried the maid greatly, for she was not used to being stared at by great throngs of people. One day she went to church, but her presence came very near break ing up divine services nnd the good father, seeing what was the matter, dismissed the congregation in short or der. In London, where black folks are not unfamiliar sights, her appear since created no such stir nnd, while the girl would willingly go back there, no money could induce her to revisit France." The Kind You Have Always Bought lias borne the sijrna- mre ui vims. n. r ictcner, arm lias Dcen made under his personal supervision for over oO years. Allow no one to deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and Just-as-grood " are but Experiments, and endanger the health of Children Experience against Experiment. What is CASTORIA Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare goric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic . substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destrovs Worms and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and "Wind Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates tho Stomach and Dowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. Tho Children's Panacea The Mother's Friend. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Signature of Sn He Well-Mcnnlnie lint ' So you don t like .Mr. Wiggins; "No," answered Miss Cayenne. " is very clumsy." "But he means well." "Yes. He Is one of those people who think it doesn't matter how much dam age they do if they say 'Excuse me,' " Washington Star. F.x lul nel. "Miss Waspie says she wonders why slie has to meet so many disagreeable people." "That's easily explained," answered Miss Cayenne. "It's hard for anybody not to bo disagreeable in Miss Waspie's company. asmngtoii Mar. ot (Julio. "Have you any diiiiculty In getting the proHr diet for the invalid?" "No, Indeed; the doctor has ordered us to give some of that prepared des ecrated food." Baltimore American. Use For Over 30 Years. THCCCNT.UH COMHNV. TT MURRAY STREET. NCWTORK CITY. MILITARY ACADEMY A boardinp and day pcliool for young men ami toys. Accredited to Stanford, Berkeley, Cornell, Amherst anil all state universities and BKrieultiiial colleges. The principal has hHd 2S years' experience in Portland. Make reservations now. 1'or illustrated catalogue and other literature address J. W. HILL, M. D., Princ;pal and Proprietor, PORTLAND, OREGON 7 h i - ( , r The watf r is all squeezed out bv hy draulic pressure from Preferred Stock Squashand Pumpkin. No more scorching. Preferred Stock Canned Goods Fackwl Wlutnr the Cut ar Grows Eastern grown Squash and Pumpkin are best, therefore we have all Preferred Stock Squash and Pumpkin canned in the hast. When thrv hnv ha.li rnn.l lmt I 1 necessary to give finest flavor then the best of the crop are gathered at onve into the cannery, careful! v set aside and put up for Preferred Stock. It comes out rich, and 111t Illili nAn,.(, 1 - r ! .......v.unnwiiiimii ucm cs. i or is iiiisiirrviietv it-r. Be sure it is PREFERRED STflrX-t ?.'. f7' r;.Mi-i-ti.i Qlggg ALtEM"W.WholeiIeOrociri.POSTIASD,OKEOO;t,t; .A. mm? Kven the man who paid for the par lor furniture Isn't to be trusted alone with It and a Jack-knife, nnd nothing to do. You are more apt to hear any wom an rave over a doctor than the woman who has to earn the money to pay her bills. If a woman has her children with her, she never bears half what yra ST IN e WORLD W. L. DOUCLAS S3.00 & $3.50 SHOES T"e Ka&F SHOES Port EVERY MEMBER OP THE FAMILY, AT ALL PRICES. ' fi ft fl iToanjronowha can prove W. L. &4D,UUU oou&a tfoe. not rZakZ & moll f?r iv rrrl ) rrfor S3 a S3. 5-7 os Ithjtn mny olfier imtrsi.lzztumr. THE KK.VS.1NW. I IVugl.v ,,-,,, I vt.u.re i ie In all walks of life th:m any other in:ike. i N-.rio .-t ih- r rxcell.-nt styl. e-v-y-tittiiif, and sn.Ti..r vt .iris qn:.! f.s. 1 he wWctlnn of the leathers mid other ii:;t.M .-.Is :.r.:i.h .tt of the shoe, and every let:l of the n. ik -n j is -1 .ifi.T hv th most com!.t0.rg.tiix:tUmi of siip,rititiiK!.!.t.f,r.'in.-iiand kil!ed sh.wm.ikers. who r.-reivc the hi-l-.t p:ii. in tho sh.e industry, and whoso uorkm.inslop cann, t 1-. Hod. ii 1 1-om.i i ie yon mro inv Urw t;i,-ior:- ;t iro, kt -n. M.ss., hiid show you how .-arrfiillv V. I lvm;'m ,! -.are made, vou would then understand shy they hold th. ir slnj-e. tit Ivti.-r, wetr longer nt.d are of irr.-iter v :uo th:i:i htiv . i;..t nuke. My 9-i.OO nnd SS.OO Gilt Edga Shoe cannot bo ejuaHcJ si aiy trrrrf. CAUTION! Th centime hve W.I.. l-u-. . n..:n- oil i-: -i... i. .-1 . n h-t ... i..!... No Snlxtltiitr. Ask your deilr for W. I 1. . .!.. 1! -tin tI. i .... i,.l Jireet to factory. Shoes seut everv viLer- t J m:i.l. Ot.-U- ; free. W.LDoug!, 5 rock Ion. Viau. V. w