POLK
DALLAS. OREGON. SATURDAY. NOVEMBER 20. 1869.
VOL. 1.
THE POLK COPSTV TIMES
1« Istu td Every Saturday Afternoon at
Dallas, Folk County, Oregon.
f . R. STUART, EDITOR A.\D PROPRIETOR.
ci and
an,
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TH E P O E T 'S CORNER.
THE MODERN TURPINS.
A srentleman named Turpin once
Kicked up a fuss aud bobbery.
By riding on "Brown Bess” to do
Some bits o f highway robbery.
For which they caught and brought him in,
With cudgel-taps and grand ouïs,
Put fetters on his limbs, and on
His wrists a pair o f bandeufTs,
Convicted him o f felony—
A long-wigged Judge harrangued him-—
And quite regardless of his woe.
They took him out and banged him.
Oh, Dirk Turpin !
Unhappy Richard Turpin!
Had Turpin lived in modern days
He then had found a nigh way
T o win a competence, without
Resorting to the highway ;
And if he were a lively cuss.
And one to turn a penny fit,
A furnace and a rolling mill
Erected to his benefit ;
■Stolen his little cent per cent
Without the least objection;
And while he plundered right and left,
Miscalled the thing— P r u t s c t i o s .
Oh, Dick Turpin !
That Kupid Richard Turpin!
And in another thing, beside,
The wretched Turpin blundered—-
He merelj robbed the men of wealth.
The poor he never plundered ;
Cut these are more expert than he.
They are the poor man’ s spoilers,
And make their ehiefest profit from
The pockets o f the toilers.
To load the rich man’s luxuries
With tax. will not content ’em—
On iron and salt and cloth they lay
Their heaviest per centum.
Oh, Dick Turbin !
Yon silly Richard Turpin!
At hod or hoard, in house or street,
Wherever we may turn us,
We find these robber* of the mill,
These Turpin* of the furnace.
On stalwart men and women weak
They lay their burdens heavy ;
On all we eat, or drink or wear,
A contribution levy.
They think to all this grinding, we
Have grown by custom callous •
So Turpin thought, the week before
lie swung upon the gallows.
Oh. Di<-k Turpin!
Mistaken Richard Turpin'!
G EN ER A L MJSC ELL A N Y.
TOO MANY
FAMILIES
p
TO SL F -
,; h t .
John— I don’t see why we can’t get
along as well as we did ten years ago.
I work harder, uever spend a cent un
necessarily and yet I find it a struggle
to live. W e used to live plentifully,
dress well, and have help for you. I
could lay up something for a rainy day
at the end o f every week.
W ife— True, J o a n ; hut then you
only had one family to maintain; now
you support a great number.
Joh n— A great number do you say ?
I don’t understand you.
W ife— W ell, I ’ ll tell you, John, for
you have worked too hard, and are too
tired to read the newspapers, and too
much harrassed providing for the family
to think and investigate. I said you
now have to help support a great many
families, whilo in older times you had
not any to labor for but your own.
There is the “ Collector,’ ’ the “ Assess
or,” and the Detective who informs on
your neighbors. Y ou have to support
the families o f all these; help to buy
pianos and silk for their wives aad
daughters, and help to educate their
children. Then there’s the bondholder,
who gives champagne dinners, and bur
dens his table with silver plate, and
travels in Europe, and pays no taxes.
A ll this lie docs on his gold interest
which is paid him twice a year. And
then there is the Tariff-robber, who
makes an annual profit of a hundred
per cent, almost all of which is a theft
from honest toil. So you see, John,
after you give a part o f every day’s
earnings to each of these purposes there
t
can’t be no great deal left for your
family. You didn’t have to give your
earnings for any o f these purposes when
James Buchanan was President, and so
we lived easily and well.
John— W hy, wife, you amaze me.
I never stopped to think o f these mat*
ters, though I knew something was
wrong. Nor do I now ezaetly see how
1 am robbed for these purposes. -
W ife— W ell, John, I ’ll tell you. W e
used to get coffee for ten cents a pound.
Now we pay thirty-five. W e used two
pounds a week, gnd on this single arti-
cle fifty cents are taken from your wa
ges aud divided between bondholders,
collectors, assessors, and detectives.
There is a like addition on the cost o f
tea, and o f sugar, molasses and rice.
Every addition to the price o f these
articles is a tax imposed by the govern-
uient to raise money to pay bondhold-
ers, collectors, assessors and detectives.
Every pair o f boots you buy you pay
just double price for, and the extra cost
goes to the support o f tariff robbers, for
government leeches bad no existence
in Democratic days. Our rent, you
know, is a great deal h igh er; and the
landlord says be had to raise the rent
because he has to pay income tax, aud
higher for tea, coffee, .sugar, and other
provisions, than ten years ago, when he
gave us rent so cheap. Sometimes you
chew tobacco, or «moke a cigar; and
for these you have to pay just thrice
what you had to pay in Buchanan’s
tim e; and all this extra cost is tax, to
enable bondholders, collectors, assess*
ors and detective* to live in luxury and
idleness. So you see, John, your week’s
hard toil is made to contribute to the
support o f mauy families. It is no
wonder we live poor and hard— that we
sometimes hare barely the necessaries
o f life, and that our children don’ t go
to school because we haven’ t money to
buy them books and suitable clothes.
E xit John, determined te vote with
the party hereafter which desires that
the laboring man shall have a fair day’s
wages for a fair day’s work, and that
the proceeds shall go to the support o f
his own family
First T rip o f the F irst L ocom otive.
Yesterday morning at about 10J
o’clock, lien. Holladay, Gen. A . L.
Lovejoy, Geo. Weidler, editors and re
porters o f the eity press, and a half-
dozen invited persons stepped aboard o f
the construction locomotive, “ James B.
Stevens,” at East Portland, to take the
first ride on the Oregon Ceu'ral R ail
road. After a few moments delay, the
constructing engineer, John F. Kidder,
turned on the steam and away we went.
The progress was necessarily slow, so as
to feel the strength o f the trestle-work
and bridges. After passing over them
it was a general remark how firm and
solid everything was about the track.
We steamed away to the machine 6hops,
2 1 miles away, for the purpose o f bring
ing hack four platform cars to be used
in carrying material along the line from
the landing. A t the machine shops
the party got off and looked around
while a section o f track was placed in
connection with the main line. Things
are going on very lively at the shops.
Two cars o f modern style and finish are
nearly completed, to be placed ou the
track, and capable o f seating sixty-two
passengers each. Four more platform
cars will soon be finished, to be used for
the same purpose as those now running.
W e noticed a large force at work along
the road. L. A. Doherty, foremau o f
the tracklayers, informs us that within
76 feet they had four miles o f rails al
ready down. A water tank, ten feet in
diameter and seven feet deep, is nearly
done at the shops, with a capacity for
4,000 or 5,000 gallons o f water, to sup
ply the locomotive. Mr. K idder ran
the engine out and back, but, hereafter,
James Anderson will be the day, and
C. W . Tracy the night, engineer.
Everything about the road seems con
structed with a view to stability and
strength, as well as to wear and tear.
The event o f yesterday may well arouse
the lethargy o f the community and
wake up the entire country through
which this road passes.— Herald. 11th.
M odes o f W a lk in g .
Observing persons move rather slow,
their eyes, and sometimes their heads,
moving alternately from side to side,
while they occasionally stop and look
around.
Careful persons lift their feet high
and place them down lightly bat firmly,
and frequently pick up some obstruc
tion and place it down quietly by the
side o f the way.
Reflecting and calculating persons
generally walk with their hands in
their pockets and their heads slightly
inclined.
Modest persons generally step softly
for fear o f being observed.
Tim id persons often step off from the
sidewalk on meeting another, and pre-
fer going around a stone to stepping
over it.
Shrewd yet shallow persons “ toe out”
and have a long swing o f t&ek arms,
while their hands are always in their
way.
Wide-awake persons also “ toe out,”
move rapidly, with their bodies inclined
forward, while their heads have a jerky
motion from side to side, and their
arms swing steadily close to their bodies.
Careless persons are forever stubbing
their toes.
Lazy persons scrape about loosely
with their heels, and are first on one
side o f the walk and then on the other.
Very strong-minded persons place
their toes directly in front o f them, and
have a kind o f stamp movement.
Unstable persons walk fast and slow
by turns.
Venturous persons try all roads, fre
quently climb the fences instead o f go
ing through the gate, and never let
down a bar.
One-idea persons, and always selfish
ones, “ toe in.”
Cross persons are very apt to hit
their knees together.
Good natured persons «nap their fin
ger and thumb every few steps.
Fun loving people have a kind o f jig
mewoment.— Ex.
1« the vicinity o f Spoon river, (H I.)
is a child that was bom aad has lived
five years without a head. M r s .-------,
the » o th e r, is the widow o f a soldier,
formerty living in Marshall county, who
enlisted in the Sixty-fifth, or Scotch
Regiment, and was killed at the battle
o f Lexington, Missouri.
She was
standing beside her husband during an
engagement, when a cannon ball car
ried hi« head completely away, his
body falling into her arms, and cover
ing her with blood. W hen her eliild
was born there was not the semblance
o f a head about it. The limbs are per
fectly developed, the arms long, and
the shoulders, where the head and neck
should he, smoothly rounded off.
Rut the most surprising thing o f all
is that the face is situated on the
breast. O f course there being no neck,
the power o f turning the head is want
ing, except as the whole body is m oved;
but this difficulty is overcome by the
siugular faculty it possesses o f turning
its eyes in their sockets, enabling it to
sec quite as well on either side as those
more perfectly formed. The upper por
tion of the body is as white as the pur
est Caucasian; from the waist down
ward it is blood red. This strange
creature, now an active boy o f five
years, as if to compensate for his defor
mity. possesses the most clear and bird
like tones ever listened to, singing with
singular correctness everything it may
hear, and its voice, at this early age, ac
complishes two octaves easily.
beef, it is asserted, proves o f
the greatest benefit as a diet for persons
o f frail constitutions. It is reported
that physicians are now administering
to consumptives a diet o f finely chopped
raw beef, properly seasoned with salt,
and heated by placing the dish con
taining it in boiling water. This food
is given also io cases where the stomaeb
rejects almost every other form of food
It assimiliates rapidly, and affords the
best nourishment, while patients long
for it and like it as much as Dr. Kane
lion , I. Donnelly delivered an ad-
did his Arctic dinners of raw seal and
dress on the 13th of October, to the walrus.
Dakota county fair, at Farmington, on
the low price of wheat and its cause.
People who are always innocently
It was a vigorous argument against the cheerful and good hnmored are very
the present protective tariff. He frank useful in the world. They maintain
ly owned that he had changed his opin peace and happiness, and spread
ion on tlie subject, and said it was bet thankful temper around them. I t has
ter to he right than to be consistently been said that “ we have no more right
wrong. The wise man, he said, chan to fling an unnecessary shadow over the
ges his opinion many times, the fool spirits o f those whom we may easually
never, and he felt that an acknowledg meet, than we have to fling a stone and
ment was the first reparation for error. break their windows.”
The speech has created quite a sensa
Bismarck Rays that he always en
tion in the Republican camp.
trusts difficult commissions to men
stitch in time saves Dine.
, with spirited and ambitious wives.
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Anecdete e f Thomas F . Marshall.
GKEATNESSL
N E W S I N B R IE F .
The Hon. Thomas F. Marshall e f
Kentucky, once a prince ot good fel
lows. was defending a man charged with
murder, in Jessamine county, Judge
Lusk presiding. The testimony against
the prisoner was strong, and T o » strug
gled hard on the cross-examination, but
to little purpose, for the old Judge was
inflexible in his determination to rule
out all the improper testimony offered
on the part o f the defense. A t last
Tom worked himself into a high state
o f excitement, and remarked that “ J e
sus Christ was convicted upon just
such ruling« of the court that tried
him.”
“ Clerk,” said tlie judge, “ enter a fine
o f ten dollars against Mr. Marshall.”
“ W ell, this is the first time I ever
heard o f anybody being fined for abus
ing Pontius Pilate,” was the quick res
ponse o f Tom.
Here the Judge became very indig
nant and ordered the clerk to eater an-
other fine o f twenty dollars.
Tom arose with that peculiar, mirth-
procoking expression that no one can
imitate, and addressed the eourt with
as much gravity as circumstances would
permit, as follow s:
“ I f your honor pleases, as a good cit
izen, I feel bound to obey the order o f
this court, and intend to do so in this
instance, but as I don’ t happen to have
thirty dollars about me, I shall be com
pelled to borrow it from some friend,
and as I see none present whose confi
dence and friendship I have enjoyed so
long as your honor’s. I make no hesita
tion iu asking the small favor o f a loan
for a few days, to square up the amount
o f the fines that you have caused the
clerk to enter against me.’ ’
This was a stumper. The Judge
looked at Tom, and then at the Clerk,
and finally said:
“ Clerk, remit Mr. Marshall’s fines;
the State is better able to lose thirty
dollars than I am.” — Bench and Bar.
Men call it real fame when a man’ s
name is repeated centuries after his
death, in a far distant land ; and so it
is. It is real fame that has spread the
renown o f Solomon through the length
and breadth of Asia, and made A lex
ander’s name a household word with the
Tartar and the Arab. Men that never
opened a book are familiar with the
glory o f the great J u liu s ; and where
are the people ignorant o f Napoleon ?
Twenty five years after his fall at W a
terloo, Prince Puckler Muskau was
questioned about A bou Napartee by
some Arabs in a village on the Nile.
“ Is it true ?” they said. “ They tell us
fee is dead; that he died in the midst o f
the ocean, and that the Pashas, who
surrounded h i « , beheld his soul, like a
spark o f fire, glancing along the edge oD
his sword.” This is indeed the immor
tality on earth far which so many
eager spirits have hungered aad thirst
ed, toiled and endured, and sinned; nor
can the coolest cynic deny that this is
the reward of greatness. But they are
few who attaiw to this extraordinary
elevation among naca ; and to convince
ourselves how small is the world that
remembers the great names with which
history busies herself, we have only to
make an excursion outside of our habit
ual round o f thought, and appeal to
the intelligent men about us. Most of
them could toll us something o f W ash
ington and G reene; but what answer
should we get if we inquired concern
ing Suffren, or De la Bourdounais, or
Marshal Saxe, or Turenne ? The great
Mouse colored Man many may have
made acquaintance w ith ; hut what re
collections would the name of Zuinglius
arouse, even in Protestant minds ? It
is certain that not a few men, with what
is called fair education, would unhesi
tatingly describe Maimonedes as a
Greek, i f they were asked about him.
W e might multiply these cases indefi
nitely, for the great men of science are
almost unknown to the worshipers o f
art, the philosophers to military men,
the seamen to theologians, and, in a
much greater degree, the superior men
o f one country to the people o f another.
To most o f ua to-day, Germany means
Von Beust and Bismarck, and we
should not know what to say if we were
asked to name some other German no
tabilities in any branch. There are
great manufacturers, great lawyers,
great physicians, men really remarkable
for their powers, to be found in thou
sands o f corners, great in their circle,
and unknown to those outside o f their
profession ; and thev have hardly fal
len short o f fame. Every characteristic
o f great men they possess; and the
difference between them and Hippocra
tes or Justinian is very hard to define.
The big men o f the time arc not so
much to be pitied, after all; for they
have their day, and no dog, not even
Cerberus, can have more.
— The Iowa State Register advertises
for a girl who will wear pants.
B rea« and Butter.
Hall, in his Journal o f Health, gives
A l i v i n g H e a d le ss C h ild .
P
. J
NO. 30.
us the following bit o f wisdom :
Bread and butter are the only arti
cles o f food o f which we never tire from
early childhood to extreme old ag
A pound o f fine flour of Indian meal
contains three times as much meat as a
pound o f the butcher’s roast beef, and
if the whole product of grain, bran and
all, were made into bread, fifteen per
cent, more nutriment would be added.
Unfortunately the bran, the coarsest
part, is thrown aw ay; the very part
which gives soundness to the teeth and
strength to the brain. Five hundred
pounds o f flour gives the body thirty o f
bony element, while the same quantity
o f bran gives more thau one hundred
and twenty-five pounds. This bran is
lime, the indispensable element o f
health to the whole human body, from
a want o f natural supply o f which m ul
titudes o f persons go into a general de
cline. But swallowing in the shape of
powders or syrups, to cure these de
clines, has little or no effect. The ar
ticles contained in these phosphates
must pass through nature’s laboratory ;
must be subject to her manipulations,
in alembics specially prepared by A l
mighty power and skill, in order to im
part their virtues to the human frame ;
in fact, the shortest, safest and most
infallible method o f giving strength to
the body, hones and brain, thereby ar
resting disease, and building up the
constitution, is to eat and digest more
bread made out o f the whole grain,
whether o f wheat, corn, rye or oats.
S harp .— A lawyer was once plead-
ing a case that brought tears into the
juror's eyes, and every one gave up the
ease as gone for the plaintiffs. But the
opposing counsel arose and said: “ May
it please the court, I do not in this caso
propose to bore for water , but— ’ ’ here
the tears were suddenly dried, laughter
ensued, the ridiculousness o f the case
was exposed and the defendant got
clear.
8 crofui . a is a taint or infection la the hu
man organism which weakens the vital forces,
and disorders or disarranges the functions o f
the whole system. This taint or infection is
most usually hereditary in the constitution, but
it may also arise from habits o f life, unwhole
some food, etc. In time, if this disease does
not show itself in an ulcerous or tubercular
form, it induces those other diseases, such as
consumption, ulcerations o f the liver, stomach
and kidneys, salt rheum, dropsy, etc. The best
remedy ever yet discovered is “ Dr. Walker’s
V eoetabl * V imeoar B ittebs ." It will euro
the disease if not too far advanced, and will
•radicate the cause.
— On Sunday evening a party o f a
hundred men eame to the Richm ond,
K y., jail and teok ont a man named
Yarcy, the author o f five murders, and
hanged him in the court house yard,
with a placard ou his hack not to cut
him down until 7 o’clock Monday even-
ing.
— Y ocn g Lockwood, who was ruined
by the W ull street gold robbers, was t«
have been married in grand style, with
great magnificence, but recalled the
seven hundred invitations and was mar
ried privately to one o f the handsomest
and most accomplished ladies of New
York, who stood true to him, notwith
standing his downfall.
— I f we compare Yieuna, Paris, Lon-
do* and Berlin, we shall find that for
every 1,000 men above 20 vear3 o f agd
in Vienna, 476 are m arried; in Berlin,
5 2 6 ; in Paris, 563 ; and in Loudon,
661.
O f 1,000 females who have
passed their 20th birthday iu Vienna,
408 are married; 530 in Berlin; 551
in Loudon ; and 593 iu Paris.
— A Washington correspondent says
that during the season nt English opera,
which extended over three weeks, the
President never once visited the thea
ter; hut last niuht, the seeond night o f
Lydia Thompson’s Burle-que Troupe,
he occupied a box and witnessed the
performance with infinite relish and
gusto. Burlesque is evidently very
much to the Presidential taste.
— A t a camp-meeting in Wisconsin,
this season, two girls were converted
by sleeping in a tent near a lively
young minister. The girls are getting
ready to intercept little flannel shirts
en route for the heathen, while the
girls’ fathers have gone to Iowa on the
track o f the minister, each armed with
a double-barreled shot gun. They want
to thank him some little for his “ suffer
little children,” etc. The name o f the
divine is Tessly, and i f he sees two
joyous-faced shot gunists coming up
that way, he’d better send them up an
other road, or send his mother sow«
mourning goods.— St. Joe. I lc n ld .
— The full official returns o f the Ohio
election give the following aggregate«:
Hayes, 2 3 5,9 72; Pendleton, 228,332.
Republican majority, 7,640.
— The Bachelor’s Club o f Topeka,
Kansas, lately offered a reward o f 810
for the prettiest unmarried girl o f over
fifteen years o f age, and the editors o f
Topeka were appointed the judges.
After a careful scrutiny, they decided
that Florence Morrisou was entitled to
the first premium.
— An English manufacturer, at a re
cent public meeting in Manchester,
said : “ I give it to you as a fact, that
where eight years ago, I sent one hale
o f cotton cloths to China, I now send
fifty, and all o f English manufacture,
but they arc stamped in Manchester
T h e Tariff* Q u e s tio n .
with an American mark, and sold as
The tariff question may be reckoned American goods.’ ’
as one o f the knottiest o f the time. In
— A dilapidated old darkey in Mont
view of the necessities o f the ntitional
gomery, while watching the monkeys
exchequer, it is safe to say that abso
in a menagerie i:i that city, spoke thus-
lute free trade is out of the question, no
ly : “ Detn children got too much sense
matter what maybe thought of a remis
to come outer dat cage; white folks
sion o f duties as an abstract policy.
cut dar tails off and set ’em to votin’
Indeed, no political party has yet
aud makiu’ constitutions.’’
had the boldness to declare for absolute
— The castor bean, from which the
free trade. There is, however, a wide
spread, almost universal feeling that oil is made, is becoming an important
there is something wrong in the pre industry iu Placer comity, California,
sent adjustment o f duties on importa One prominent dealer roceivcd nt his
tions— Even the advocates o f high du warehouse one thousand bushels iu one
It
ties will sooner or later be forced to day, paying S3 18 pcf- bushel.
yields
more
bushels
to
the
acre
¿han
adopt some more wholesome, just, and
wheat.
equal system o f levying duties for the
— It is stated that the friends o f
benefit o f the nation, and not o f a par
Lady
Thorn doubt the various rumors
ticular interest, either o f class or local
ity, or else abandon their schemes alto o f great trotting feats done by Dexter
gether. Nor do we suppose those who in private; they «ay that the Lady is
lean towards the free trade system, are ready to meet Dexter in public either
prepared, yet, to say that duties, in for money or charity ; and that until
cidentally protective in their effect the challenge is accepted she must be
should not, while levied at all, he ad considered the fastest horse.
— A shoe factory is to be established
justed with some degree o f discrimina
in
Washington hy a number o f business
tion. W e indulge the hope, then, that
while opposing theories are urged by mco headed by General Howard,
their respective adherents, sufficient
— Dr. Draper, o f New York, has ac
practical statesmanship will be found cepted the Presidency o f the American
in the law-making branch o f Govern Union Academy o f LiD'rature, Science
ment to reconstruct the tariff on sound and Art, just formed iu Washington,
er principles, aud with a more equal it already numbers 134 members, iu-
distribution o f its burdens for the bene I eluding President Grant, C hief Justice
fit o f the whole nation.— New York Chase, and others of diktirction.
Shipping List.
— The scientific French weather
prophets predict a winter o f unusual
J @ * A lady was urged by her friends severity.
to marry a widower, and as an argu
— A wairan iu Concord, New Ham p
ment spoke o f what fine children he shire, crazed by religious excitement,
had.
“ Children,” replied the lady, insists on preaching in the garb ot Eden.
— Near Crab Orohard Springs, K en “ are like tooth-picks— a person wauts
—'The heirs of Juhu Campbell, pos
tucky, on Friday night, forty men went her own.”
sessor in 1778 of 300 ucres, now in ih#
to tear down a house o f ill fame, and
suit
fig^T he best mode o f gaining high center of Louisville, have
. brought
_
finding parties inside to defend it, they
recover property, estimated at 8o0,‘
opened fire with Spencer rifle*, killing reputation, is to he what you appear to i
be.
1000,000.
Geo. Teukclsue, an inmate.