BE
eitttwel
!
w
99tL
MB
wjeim
Tje HJhptQpn B
Wmtm. - ,, - ty.--.m- -tssjwmh. ,- u .
M,IWI"''W""WWIWlfaMWMIIWMMMMcMlt
i . -
VOL-.MM.
ii
i
T. !.
("Ji,0CSSHILLEMlEGOS, SATURDAY, MAY 1, 1858.
j r
Independent on nil duff ecH. and ifiJ
to the best Intirtflt , Soulhtrn Orrgtp,
Published T.'vury Saturday,
O.T'rAUOT.Sitor&frtfrklir.
TUKIUSt
Jno onr,8 O'JjSIx Meittb, $8 09,
aurcu Aionius, &. UU.
AlVfelttHRmntttH.
Ono Square- of flwcho lines or lew, rst la-
St OU ' WOSCejWBKlBSief UCfl,
tr'tfit
NO. 16.
I1,KM 0-mos,Mhquiro.or mo yw,
A liberal discount rWtocrsonTwliHtasj
toadrortlso to the eiUntoffjur
"SIITIIH"
Job Printing Office.
r Iir. Proprietor, having a goad Tart
1 cty of JO!) T1TU oa haad. I r
pircd todonllklndsof
PLAIN
AND
ORNAMENTAL.
JOR PRINTING,
On the SHORTKST NOTICE, anl on Hn
i-ot REASONABLE TKRMB J eueh m
Hook, n
rampulots,
Circular,
Handbills..
Showbills,,
Concert'Dllls,
Programmes,
Ball Tlcksta,
Jllll Heads,
Address Can,
UuilneM Card,
tfrc, $:., $:.
Job work done la
AXD
ma, mw& oa
intuit
to suit customers, Orders wlWted,
Business GTar&s
"TbiTdorado
1UIWARP AND DRINKING
SALOON,
conxE)orcAMrORUAxuoRx(HxinrttCETi!r
JACKSONVILLE, 0..
nr
DBSBbKHEHB"
HrVHHnnaLsLLDLLLLBfiiK. nflBH
HrWwiLmBLLHLLHH wIiHIHb' wpvw
ffl .tIv1' WmWTt.' , JfjHH 4tf&
9BrTK3MHHWli
riPilmH&j&JaB
v M iijLLLLVQBXsPrr' tVwT flE1 iW
fBBH aWBBflaBflaVBaHBflaWV sY 1W I TK. .
V "iBaW MTBHBaVBmBPliFK TW . T i- MHLBBBYWlBa tfti ,
aw.ni-k'yuiw.n'ffr?HOMWi
EFi T KvGftv tiij 'H immM
RvaHpn im 7v'HpCV'1iLILLHf
9HflsiiflMr ;; ; XBiuuBn.
9WkvOL :,rtalSaw5j
(MHOi a . nHMBJHmHsW
M5u2flfljfljiB
IrSBSrk JWHBtTKIMMM
JHrtHt el tk Jl(t!Htloil.
" tV "" "ijJ- y
,'.AlfcHlancc 6cutWtihHn!i tlio gloo-
fiot 1770-7. W4&JMW not found
way Ul alttotler. 'aLMc ) wo copy
i.'m tMMber f mJfmei'rat!c lle
U u eflBMHaaaTlM Swiy tlurlnc
(loa, ybMi aaiiMMj'tP bo provl
I fttlotRiMts la nt fevr. Tlio wrl
hr rMtfred tbo nccouat ef )l fmm n son of I
IMmtI M, Lu, and freM'frftaclit Mglilfoot
i, wi were measitw of CfUgrcw, nnd
rhlUdrlUavaiIMUQio. Tbeso
jnMaattM.Riu(Ion Itos
IMllinlniit RilMWir or their
"aalfy r
. iWhaa UmnA W44fl 111 wts retreat Ing
ttroogfci4 Jarocy hi t &Ur of 177C-7
wi W CfMitii Mm rfawvrels lend and
Md. Marly MM, noi ho would le
bU, wllhwit a.cDWera)o supply, to
mM tat VrlllUnt ami anful more-
mha ricoTarwl Ke Jifioy, nnd ro-
tfeo aauatry wlkfc hw lionc nnd
SnaWam In ttlf Caawaaa-larJii-Clilcf In
that aarktit hour of Hi war Congress lnd
erery tfutl to wf.'o somucb.
artkla. ll Mm bad that could bo
found k pabltc sl aflrak akecs tin.il been
eMalncd. led tacsja atn melted audi
Hwiiilati lorn froai'tfMMMfeofhouiciij but
illl a mdaII qwHa;a4jr ionl'd Ik obtain-
I. Juit thw In aw 4aHtel moment ofi
X
F1W1 Wltll tlio l'.
Tho folbTtlng. wo think, wns pnbllshfd In
the Gol n Kra scvernl yenrs ngo. No mat
ter; Ills worth sending on another Journey
through ncntpaperdotn. It Is certainly tho
most Ingenious specimen of nlllternttnu In
the langungo, nnd quite throws tho "SlfRii
of Ilclgradc" Into tho ihmlo. Tho tltth)
folks, nnd some of tho older, will rccogultc
It ns a fanciful rendering of tho old story of
"llcnuty nnd the Ilcnsl:''
A famous flih factor found himself father
of flro flirting females Fanny, 1'lorcncc,
1'rrnnndo, Frnnewca nnJ Kcnclln. Tho tlrat
four wcro ilnUfcnturcd, Ill-favored, forbid
dlng-f.iecit freckled frumpi, fretful, flippant,
foolish nd fiountlng, rcncll.t was n (Inn
featured, fresh, fleet-footed flry frank,
free, nd full of fun. Tho fisher failed, and
win forced by flcklo fortune to forego I1I1
footman, forfeit his forefather's lino field,
nnd UnJ a forlorn furmhouso in a forsaken
forest. Tho four fretful females, fond of
figuring nt feasts In feathers nnd faihlonnblo
finery, fumed nt their fugitive father. For
saken by fulsome, flattering fortune-hunters,
who followed them when they first flourish
td, Fcnulla fondled her father, lla-ored their
food, forgot her flattering followers, and
frolicked In frlcio without flounces. The
father, finding hlmielf forced to furngo In
foreign parts for a fortuuo, found he could
m
II. I. IITIIH'
Billiard Saloon,
Oppoilto Iloglo Motel,
KEKUYVILI.E. O. T.
.nusry I, 1&j8. llf
DRS. BROOKS & THOMPSON,
riiysicians and Surgeons,
OFFICK 'Jackionvlllo Drug Hiore"
oppoiia Union llouso.
Qy'A constant supply of Drugs and
1'iimt MeJicines always on hand.
Tke PrallKMl' Kefttra.
Hard by tartsbold sat the rite,
.jnoBaa tfMtt ka not nor
For eeoraa on BMatory' sstiifafal toa " "
IsaalM j ., '-
Wcro bfaatalac of l
aateatM.ftoaiHMM
A willing exll, Maws aloat
Tht eh Wil. hmlU ulMxl tJm, .
. "JiTT "' -.:.- V .'T.' 135" .
m .i
;, B IIIIIMON',
lata of Sacramento.
II. J. IJIUTT,
San Fraucleco.
nAHHON & LADAH.
LAAV OFFICE,
Vomer of Montgomery awl Commer
cial Sitrttti,
(Over Hanks & Hull, Hankers,
Hun Frnucisco, Cnl, ,
'II. J Lab att, Commissioner for Louisiana
novUbnlbtr
It. B. SNELLING,
ATTOUNEY-AT-LAW,
OFFIOI--On Main Street, four doors
south or tho l'ost Office, Yreka.
&r Will practlco In tho District Courts
of Jackson County. O. T. 2 29tf
R. HAYDEN,
Attorney mid Counsellor at Late,
Wll.l. ATTEND TO UU8INESH in
tho Third Judicial District of Oro
gon.
OFFICE
At Kerbyvillo, Oregon.
Janua llf
W. G T'VAULT,
AUornoyand Counsellor at Law.
nd Notary rubllo for Jackson Co.,
Will practlco in the Supreme and Din.
'(riet Courts of tho Territory.
Dfiico adjoining the I'rinting Office,
ffackionvillo. O.T. llf
D. H BEENAN,
ATTOTliNE Y-AT-LA W.
frFFICK At his resi'dnca, Jsrkson.
ville, O. T.
13
AND
A5BBBWt?2.
Aro takeu by
IPETER BRITT,
On the tho Hill, near the old Parsonage,
JACKSONVILLE, O. T,
Utf
With untiring gazo his eye li bent
Far o'er the distant plain,
Ills ear to distant sounds nttent,
As If ucre beard again
The echoing of coming feat
Nay, nay, 'twas but wicrd fancy's cbcatl
Yet lore wltbln that old man's breast
Keep eager watch to-night,
And will not glvo tho eyelids rest,
For, surohls tea --dimmed sight
A distant shadow doth descry
A speck, u sbapo that drawcth sigh I
Oh. fond embracol oh, gushing tears I
Oh, loro that finds not rprrch I
Ob. lote that counts not days nor years,
liut through all timo doth reach I
Oh, lore that question not tho past,
Hut welcomes back to homo at last I
S. l Bulletin.
With 11 Bottlo of Cider.
Old friend, accept this bottle
Your mouth then open wider,
First to Imbibe, then to oxclalm
Hy Georgol what glorious elder.
Perhaps romo fair young damsel.
Whoso looks hare no'er belled her,
Will not object to take a swig,
When you aro down be elder.
And If she thus Indulges,
You may bare to cutdo her:
But sbo will say it is owlnir to
Tho stuff which is in elder.
Distrust.
And shall we all condemn, and all distrust.
nccause some men are raise, ami some u nustl
Forbid It, Heaven I for better 'twere tc,be
Duptd of the fond Impossibility
Of light and rodiuDco which elcep'd vIons
Than thus to lire suspicion's bltler slsve.
J)iri. jvoritn.
fiTho Atlantic Monthly snyst-A
young minister who bod made himself con
spicuous for a severo and denunciatory stylo
of preaching, went to an old minister to in.
qulro why he did not have more success.
'Why, man," said tho doctor, "can't you
tako a lesson of the fisherman t How do
you go to work if you want tocatcha trout?
You get a little hook and a fine line, you
bait It carefully, and throw It in as gently
as possibly, and tbcu you set and wait and
humor your fish till you can pet him ashore.
Now you get n great cod book and ropo line,
and thrash it Into tbo water, and bawl out,
IJItoor bo dawned!' "
.sir A New York punster challenged n
sick inan'ivoto at a recent election, on the
ground that ho was an legal voter.
Perhaps It -was the same person wIk chal
lenged a squint-eyed voter, because he nas
not natural tytt-td.
jar "Please, sir, I don't think Mr, Doslra
takes his physic reg'lar," said a doctor's
boy to his employer, "Why so?" "Cause
vy, he's getting ell 10 prcclout fast!"
UsjiondsnDy, fcc-bart XcVrlswho has been j "fr'11 n farlll'nB to hl fondlings. Tho first
sllul the "HaaacWr" of tW Kovoliillon.li four wcro fain to foster their frlvolty with
andwhoMCXteMtfecraiMt ibd mercantile1 'f"J f"" "t to flnM. their father's
transactions In EarasVaad wboso unfllnch- fluani ; Fcnelln, fearful or flooring him,
log devotion to ale country, las laid thatli k10'1 n tmc' for a rul1' fttth ,lo,vcr' Folc
conatry aadr Berar-cmiB, obligations,'1'""1"10 "'wor for n few day, when
wcTtdal4UrllrosB6neorUl.lIwvl,IM,, "e ibii in wiiu u log ins laitmul J-Vleifi
bad escaped Use WrltU tfalswa-lnformlng1 r,,ollUr Altered, nnd foot-fnllcd He found
hlmtaatthq vaml wsa'.wltfcki tbocnpei,l-''Ira,c,r,n front f fortified fortress. Find.
nig 11 lurraKcu, auu lecllug lilmsctr rceblc
nnd forlorn with fasting, ho fed on tho fish,
flesh nnd fowl he found, frlccassed and fried,
nnd, when full, fell flat on tho floor. Fresh
In the forenoon, ho forthwith lluw to the
fruitful field, nnd not forgetting Fcnclln, he
tlicrica a ralr flower; when a foul, frightful,
fiendish flguro flashed forth: "Felonious
Macrk a4 saatqr satsaaiw repaired to the' , fingering my flowers, I'll finish you!
wbatfaKsbMat; laaktsirMit for tho eirect- 1 uo' ' ,arew your fine felicitous farn
4 vtai. IFarsaaMMsM abUld not np-
and would raaeh l'filWjU nt such n
mi " ww a(Mif tvm lean, nuu
ataaaaWas; le a vkjt UffsqHwitlty. This
kMw'Hw iwaiteta.Wefris fr such wo do.
lit to aatl bias systvaJ lata In the day,
and altar CaagraatlHHl s3jwnd. He Joy
oaaly lasWaiaa, Uta 'taWrfio could see
bafera uwrakf. 3brly tbe atnt morning,
aaar. TM.iaiiuaswfaastsid la tho hall with
"aau smsswass,aajl anitlio oisenib
H tea IiaM, ta IsataV af Morris was
ral, aad UMlUd-sW'sHaalv.was enircrlr
afrcteu. iltrria wa laaTxlous to ro
asaln In hU seat ta'HsaTlIewa? and bo ro-
it. iu Hia wLarr, atrataiBf tus eyes iionn
the river. At length tho goodly vessel
heaves la sight, and her owner recognises
100 stnrs and stripes. Tho nows spreads
rapidly through tho city and reaches Con-
gresj, nnd a scene of Joyful emotion Instan
tly succeeds, and the hearts of these clari
ons, bdorcd men, send up to heaven their
gratefU tbanksgitlng, for the rellof about
to be received Iu the hour of despair.
The ihlp arrived, tallailed with lead,
which tie Captain of his own apparent will,
(but niour fathers piously believed, by tho
leadlngofn good Providence.) had for tho
Mint tine, resolved to use for that purpose
iiy uocs overruling provldenco the vessel
escaped the perils of storm and capture,
and arrived at tbo exigent moment : a largo
uppl of lead was Immediately obtained,
and our great Commander ro-crossed the
felon-arc, and saved our couutry. Lms
Deo.
WiMTru'a RKPonts. Ono evening, not
nany years ago, while tho Supremo.Court
Eras holding Its session In Somerset county,
lown In tho State of Maine, some of tho le
gal brethren were warming their legs before
a blazing fire Iu a rural tavcru, nnd conver
sing upon various matters pertaining to the
profession, U J, liacon. whose long silence
indicated that his inlud was in travail with
some great thought, broke out by asking If
any or his brethren could relieve him from
tls trouble.
"I wish," said he, "to comraenco an action
against a boy who was caught stealing ap
ples. 1 una no case of tho kind in any of
our Keports, ana I am at a loss for a prece
dent."
The landlord overheard tho question, nnd
Informed tho verdant youth that he knew a
case Just In point.
"AM" said Dacon, "in whoso Reports
shall I find it t"
"In Webster's," said tho landlord gravely.
"Webster's Reports!" replied Bacon.
"Well, now you speak of It, I think I do ro
member something like it there. Do you
know tho volume I"
"Yes, I do; I havo a copy In the house,
if you would like to see It."
"I would be greatly obliged to you for It.
as I have left mine nt home."
Tbo landlord stepped out, and soon re
turned with Webster's Spelling Book I and,
turning to the story, "An old man found a
rude boy ou one of his trees, stealing ap
ples," passed the book to his legal friend,
who threw it Into tho-flre, iu the midst of
roars of laughter, and speedily mode his
exit."
fe(U A man's happiness is said to hang
upou a ttireau. inn must uo mo thread
that is never at hand to sew ou tho shirt
button that Is always off.
Hy, nnd face mo In a furtnliiht 1" Tho faint-
hearted fisher fumed nnd fullered, nnd fust
was far In his flight. Ills five daughters flew
to fall at his feet, nnd fervently fcllcltnto
him. Frankly and fluently he uuMdcd his
rate. Fcutlla, forthwith fortified by filial
fondness, followed her father's footsteps, and
flung her faultless format tho foot of tho
frlghful figure, who forgnvo the father, and
fell flat on his face, for ho had fervently
fallen In a fiery fit of love for the fair Fo
nclla. Ho feasted her till, fascinated by his
faithfulness, she forgot tho ferocity of bid
face, form und features, and frankly and
fondly fixed Friday, fifth of February, for
the affair to come off. Thero was festivity,
fragrance, finery, fireworks, frlccassed frogs,
fritters, fish, flesh, fowl and fermentry
frontignao, flip and fare fit for the fastidious;
fruit, fuss, flambeaux, four fat fiddlers and
flfera; and tho frightful form of thefortu
nato and frumpish fiend fell from blm, and
be fell nt Fcnella's feet, a fair-favored, fine,
frank freeman of the forest. Behold the
fruits of filial affection I
C'iiii X Help You r
Can I help you I Just nay tho word.
There speaks the whole-souled, whole-hearted
man tho mnn whose very shadow Is
worth more than tho whole body, soul and
estate, personal nnd spiritual, of two-thirds
of our human race bearing the name. How
he lifts the desponding spirit of his brother
In troublo ! All day ho had mot with cold
eyes, cold smiles, cojd words, cold bows nnd
cold sympathy. Men fly blm because they
have heard ho was unfortunate; nnd boa
villain, a thief, n murderer, snys tho world
In action, -but duu't. be. unfortunate. I'll
lend you ten thousnnd If you hro worth fif
ty 5 Ifyou'rc unfortunate, I'm poor myself
would help you could have dono so three
days ago, or threo hours ngo hut positively
haven't got three cents, nor shan't bo In pos
session of that nmount while your misfor
tune InMs. ir your old aunt dies, or your
old uncle, or In fact anybody who chooses
to lenvo you n fortune, why, Just call on
mo; I'll mnnngo to havo a llttla change on
hand.
But look I yonder comes a broad-sboul-dcrcd,
frank-browed man, who meets a poor
brother with n slap on tho shoulder, and,
Can I help you ? just Hay tho word. Don't
bo nfrnld now wlint'a your trouble I Out
with It, nnd if you'd llko ft llttlo ensh, just
say so. Don't bo down-cast 5 what If you
havo fulled In your expectations once, twice,
orthrlcol Haven't soma of our most suc
ccssAil merchants, done tho samo thing?
mado the samo mistakes ? And where would
they have been If they hadn't found friends?
Come, what do you want how much T Ho
don't clap his hands In his pockets with a
Styx-llku frown, that says ns plainly ns If
hu had brawled It out In your car, No en
trance here. lie Is not one of those dyspep-
that squeezes a slxpenco till It squalls, and
rends a nowspnper with a greedy, voracious
eagerness, for fear he shall not get his two
cent's worth. He lives for something olsu
than mnn, than gain. Ills passport-to Heav
en Is written on bis face, his religion on the
hearts of the downcast and sorrowing In
tho homes hu has mado happy by his benev
olence
"Cnn 1 help your"
Write the words In golden letters, for they
are only heard on rare occasions. The sneer,
the scorn, tho doubt, the refusal they come
with every night-full and sun-rising. Nig
gards grow llko mushrooms, but ntigels nre.
scarce. Mggards can never look beyond
themselves their own comfort their own
convenience; no matter who starves next
door, they scatter curses in discouragements
and blight over, God only knows, how many
gentle hearts. They caver say, "Cnn I help
him!" but, "He's doan-let's kick him."
But tho angelic ministry of thoso helpers
they consist In nn exhlbl'Ion of the person,
they arc llnble to bo attended with vanity,
nnd to extinguish the blush of youthful tim
idity, which is in young Indies the mot
powerful of their exterior charms. And I
am nlso satisfied Hint, If a young1 woman
cannot partake af the amusements of n ball
room, except nt tho expense of bcncrolrncc.
of friendship, of sincerity, of pood humor,
she has no business there. The recreation
of others may bo innocent, but to her It Is
sin."
AnotT a CniLn wuo Reap 1 Yei.iaw
CoLonmi PniLiCATioN. Soma years ago w 0
knew n beautiful little girl, who tvns resid
ing with her parents In San Francisco. She
was tlicn thirteen ycurs (if age with n faco
fresh, bright nnd pure as tho budding rose-
fa form graceful, nnd Instinct with Innocent
( life hair luxuriant, and golden ns the sun
light. I.lttlo Mary was beloved by all who
I know her tho sweetest flower in the thriv
ing nursery of Mr and Mrs.. Every
facility of education was afforded her, nnd
jtho displayed extraordinary capacity. No
.touch upon the piano sounded so dollcato ns
1 hers j no volco so pleasant 1n the slmplu
'melodies In which she delighted ; nnd no ex
pression seemed so sweet as hers when shu
J looked up trustingly and confidingly In our
faco. and smiled or wept ns we told her sto
ries of good works accomplished and terrible
sufferings endured by brave and good peo
ple Well, wo loved little Mary; but one
day her father failed, nnd she was taken
nnay, and we heard no more of her during
four yenrs though we often thought of the
child, nnd wondered whether we should ever
know her again as wo used to know her.
jTho other evening we heard of her. Wo
Iwcre sitting In our room, and by chaucit
thinking of tho little glrl.iu'hcn n note was
tic, cross-grained, surly, moneyed machines .brought to us-a note directed In a light.
Hint ........... . .lr..... till It ...II. ....l'l. ... .
trembling hand, as though tbo writer wan
under tho Influence of some strong emotion
or settled misery. Wo opened It ; it won
blotted with tears, and tbo scrawl was Irre
gular nnd almost Illegible. Wo Anally
mado out the contents to be about as follows:
Mv Di:An I-'niKsn. I may -call .you dear,
yet. though I am lost nnd sunken, now.
Lost nnd sunken degraded Oh! Stretch
ed on a bed from which I feel I shall never
rise again. Oh J my dear, dear friend, you
used to love littio Mary whcu.hcr.rya was
bright and her faco fulr; you will not desert
her now, though sho Is withered nnd worn
I brought down very low by dishonor aud
lianio. Como to me tho bearer will no
( company you. Prepare to bo shocked I
I can't write any more. Minr .
On that Monday night wo went to n
wretched room on one of tho streets of San -
Francisco, and thero wo found illttlo Mary
au. A correspondent in the army Is re
sponsible for the following :
"While our army was In Mexico, Gen.
T was walking In the plaza at Taronlco.
when a Mexican offered to sell htm a One
Mustang pony, which the General, who had
n keen oyo for horses, was desirous of pur
chasing; but as the owner was Ignorant of
English, and tho General's Spanish did not
extend beyond if aud tamos, they made
slow progress towards a trade. The Gen
eral called an orderly to him, a genuine
Irishman, and asked:
"Orderly, do you speak Spanish t"
"Nlver a word, sur."
"Theu go and And me some ono that
does,"
Off went the orderly, nnd soon returned,
dragging after him a full-blooded and thor
oughly frightened Mexican.
"What aro you doing with that man?"
demanded tbo General ; " what has ho
dono ?"
"lie has dono nothing as I know of, sur."
"Then why do you bring him here t"
"Wasn't it a man to spake Spanish Hint
tho Olneral would havo tne to bring wid
rae?"
"Certainly it was."
"Will, thin, I thought him the very roan
for your honor, for I am sure he can spake
nothln' but Spanish at all, at nil !"
The General was obliged to admit that
the Orderly had obeyed orders to the letter,
but It was uo help In buying thomustung.
Biikach or Fiiomub. Things get to an
awful pass when men In "high places" are
reckless to their own engagements) And
wo arc sorry to find that tbo chief Magis
trate of our NatUnal Union is charged with
such an aggtsvdtcd offence. Au exchange
says ;
"A young American lady la Paris threat
ens to sue President Buchanan fur breach of
promlso j she says that dining at her father'
table years ogo, ho said to her 'My dear
Miss, if ever I should bo President, you
shall be mistress of the White House.'"
1. i.n..n. . i.- -11 .1 I how ultcrcd. how nenltuut. we cannot toll 1
entrusted with tbo powers tho gods might that nnd tho story she told us,.must remain
envy, that they might be used to somo good ,ft ,ccret t0 M but ono who ,s ,n ntcr
,iuim, uui mis wo must say, in a lono 01
solemn warning to hundreds of dear child
'rcu and loving parents that hor ruin was
brought about by oue.ycllawvtrcd publi
cation. This she sold (his -she charged
I us to proclaim. Sho Id buried now. Gold
en Era.
purpose what shall we say to them ? how
glvo them the burning prnlso they merit ?
Oood, whole-souled, generous man. tho an
gels and God himself emtio approval when,
with beaming eyes and hopeful words, said
to tho dispirited brother, "Can I help you 1"
Exchange.
A Cooi. AvoLOur. They had ji ball down
at Wavcrly tho other night, which brought
out somo remarkablo experience. Amonc
other events, the following lnstanco of a cool
apology took place 1
Bill P. Is kuowu all over, and Bill was nt
this ball In all his glory. All of his neces
saries for pleasure were 011 hand good mu
sic, pretty girls, aud excellent whisky. Tho
evening passed off rapidly, ns It always
does, and Hill had at about one o'clock, be
come pretty happy. Stepping up to a young
lady, he requested tho pleasure of dancing
with her. She replied she was engaged.
"Well," said Bill, "aro you engaged for
tho next sot ?"
Sho suld sho was.
"Can I danco with you the next, then ?"
'I nil) engaged for that, also."
"Can I dauce with you to-night ."'
"No, sir," with some hesitancy.
"Go to Boston," said Bill, highly indig
nant, and turned on his heel.
After a few moments Bill Is accosted by
the brother of the young lady, nnd charged
with insulting hts sister. Bill denies, but
professes himself willing to apologize, if he
has done wrong, and accordingly steps up
to tho lady, when tho following conversa
tion ensued :
"Miss h., 1 understand I have insulted
you?"
"You have, sir!"
"What did I say, Miss L?I'
"You told me to go to Boston."
"Well," said Bill, "I hnvo come to tell
you that you needn't po "
A VAUunu: Opinion Mrs. Washington,
the wifo of him who was "first in war, tlrst
in peace, and first in the hearts of his coun
trymen," ucd to say, "It is perhaps wore
desirable that young ladles should play.
sing and dauce, only so .well as to iimusc
themselves aud their fristWs, than to prac
tlco arts In so cmluoot a degreo as to aston
Mi the public ; because a great apparent
nttentlou to trlvinl accomplishments is lia
ble to give 11 suspicion that more alunble
acquisitions hne bvin urglccUd. Aud as
A CiunGK as is a CirAnaK. Judge Jorah
Joles, a Western judicial dignitary, recently
delivered the following charge to the jury,
In tbo case of L'llm Crunch, on trial for
stealing:
"Jury, you kin go out, and don't show
your ugly mugs here till you find a veidlcf.
If you can't find ono of your onu, get tho
ono the last jury used."
The jury retired, and oftcr an absence of
fifteen minutes returned with a. verdict of
"Suicide in tho ninth degree and fourth
verse."
Then Judge Jonah Joles pronounced upon
Crunch this sentence :
"Ellin Crunch, standi and face theWu
slo. You aro found guilty of suicide for
stealing. Now, this Court sentences you to
pay a fine of two shillings, to sliaicyour
head with a bagnuet In the barracks, nnd If
you try to cao In the heads f any of the
jury, you'll catch thunder, that's all. Your
fatowillbo a warning to others; nnd, lu
conclusion, may the Lord have mercy on
your soul! Sheriff, git nioaj.lut of red
eye 1 I'm awful thirsty!"
Qpitk a Mistake i.v ak Elopkmknt. A
novel mlslako lately occurred in a love af
fair at Duancsbiirg. A couplo of young
persons agreed to elope together, nnd by
somo mistake In the preliminary arrange
ments, (he gentlomnn put his ladder up to
tho window of the room next to tbo one in
which lib sweetheart slept, aud which pro
ved to lie that Iu which her anxious mam
ma, a handsome w Idow, reposed. She turn
ed the wltTc to her own advantage got
into his urms returned bis affectionate cm
braces was boruo by blm to he carriage,
and by preserving becoming alienee until
daylight, kept him blind of bis error, and
by tho potent power of her blandishment,
actually charmed him Into matrimony with
herself. We glvo these fuote on tbo author
ity of n respectable correspondent. The old
lady evidently thought that marriaga was
not gord fur her children "it night make
them sick."
I
S.