WEEKLY CORY ALUS ti ZETTE
CORVALLIS, - - DECEMBER 12, 1879
7.V A TIME OF TROUBLE.
As an eagle, from tbe height,
Looking down upon tbe lands,
On forests Mack as night.
Fair fields and desert sands.
Bees the traveler below
Losing heart, as league on league,
Loug v. ildernesses show
No end to his fatigue.
Ho Fait h amid her stars,
Beholding far beneath
The bright of gloomy bars
In tbu web of life and death.
Sees weary hearts that deem
The dark breadth is tbe whole,
fees happy hearts that dream
The bright rays all their goal.
Ah! let this faith be ours
That even 'said the pain,
Above the present lowers.
And sees the nearing gain.
While, breadth by breadth, appears,
As from the weaver's hand.
The pattern of tbe years
Which God himself has planned.
a rich heiress, possessed of all fashiona
ble accomplishments. I adored her with
with enthusiasm, and love, I thought,
would repay me for every disappoint
ment. But I soon saw she wished to
make me her slave, and yoke all other
men beside to her triumphal chariot. I
broke the engagement, and selected a
poor but a charming girl a sweet inno
cent being, as I thought, who would be
my life's own angel. Alas ! I found her
one day bidding adieu, with tears and
kisses, to a youth whom she loved. She
had accepted me for my wealth only.
My peace of mind vanished. I sought
diversion in travel. Everywhere I found
the same hollowness, the same treachery,
the same misery. In short, I became
disgusted with life, and resolved to put
an end this night to the pitiable farce."
"Unfortunate young man," said the
other, with tears of sympathy; "I pity
act; then he fetched Bertha. It is impos
sible to describe the joy he felt when he
saw the young girl throw herself in her
father's arms and press him to her heart.
She paid the bill and triumphantly led
him home. Traft accompanied them,
and said he had a few more kreutzers in
his pocket; she had better go and get
something to eat. It was late before
Traft went home that night; but the leap
from the Main bridge was no more
thought of. He came to the house every
evening, in order, as he said, to share
with them his scanty earnings.
About a fortnight after, as he was going
away one evening, he said to Bertha:
"Will you become my wife ? I am only
a poor clerk, but I am honest and up
right." Bertha blushed and cast her eyes to
the ground.
A few days alter the young couple,
m m T 1 " f 1 ! ' 1 la , .i.1.1 rt -,'t.,l
you. l coniess i nave oeen more iorau- i aiiupiy uut irojimwuij "cu, m
nftto than von. 1 possessed a wife and companied by Herr Schmidt, went to
daughter, who came forth pure and lm
THE MAIN BKlDttE.
It was past midnight the lights on the
stone bridce which crosses the River
Main at Frankfort were still burning,
though the footsteps of passengers had
died away for some time on its pave
ment, when a young man approached
the bridge from the town with hasty
strides. At the same time another man,
advanced in years, was coming toward
him from Sachenhausen, the well known
suburb on the opposite side of the river.
maculate from the hand of the Creator.
The one has returned to Him in the
whiteness of her soul, and so will the
other.
"Give me your address, old man, and
permit me to visit your daughter to-mor-I
row. Also give me your word of honor
j that you will not inform her, or insinuate
' in any manner, that I am a rich man.
The old man held out his hand. "I
i give you my word. I am anxious to con
vince you that I have spoken the truth.
I My name is William Sclimidt, and there
i is my address," giving him at the same
j time a bit of paper which he drew from
his pocket.
"And my name is Karl Traft. I am the
i son of Anton Traft. Take these bank
I notes, but only on condition that you do
I not leave this" house until I fetch you
from it. Waiter! a bedroom for this
ml .1-, . . . i .11.. ' 11UU1 IV.
ine two nau not yet met, wnen tne latter ; entleman. You require rest. Herr
church, where they were married in a
quiet way. When they came out, man
and wife) an elegant carriage was stand
ing at the door, and a footman in rich
livery let down the step.
"Come," said the happy husband to
his bewildered wife, who looked at him
with amazement.
Before she could utter a word the
three were seated in the carriage, driving
away at a quick pace. The carriage
stopped before a splendid house in the
best part of Frankfort. They were re
ceived by a number of domestics, who
conducted them to apartments decorated
for them in the most costly style.
"This is your mistress, said Traft to
the servants, "and her commands you
have henceforth to obey. My darling
wife." said he. then, turning to Bertha,
"I am Karl Traft, one of the wealthiest
men of this city.
Schmidt. Good night. To-morrow you
will see me again."
II.
In one of the narrow and ill-lighted
streets of Sachsenhausen in an atic of a
lofty and unsightly house, sat a blonde,
about twenty years of age, busily en
gaged with her needle. The furniture
of the room was clean and tasteful. The
girl's whole dress would not have brought
many kreutzers, but every article fitted
The idea of making the jour- i her as well as if it had cost hundreds.
.tier nair iocks suaueu a lace Dngnrcneu
- the parapet, from the bridge into the
Main.
The young man followed him quickly,
and laid hold of him.
"Sir," said he, "I think you want to
drown yourself."
"What is that to you ?"
"I was only going to ask you to do me
the favor to wait a few minutes, and
allow 'me to join you. Let us draw close
together, and, arm in arm, take the leap
together.
ney with a perfect stranger, who has
chanced to come for the same purpose, is
really rather interesting. For many
years I have not made a request of any
human being. Do not refuse me this
one, which must be my last."
The young man held out his hand.
His companion took it. He continued,
with enthusiasm: "So be it; arm in arm.
I do not as you who you are. good or bad
come, let us drown."
The elder of the two, who had at first
been in so great a hurry to end his ex
istence, now restrained the impetuosity
of the younger.
"Stop, sir," said he, while his weary
eyes tried to examine the features of his
companion. "You seem to be too young
to leave life in this way; for a man of
your years life must have still bright
prospects."
"Bright prospects ! In the midst of
rottenness and decay, vice and corrup
tion ! Come, let us end it !"
"And so young ! Let me go alone,
and do you remain here. Believe me,
there are many good and honest people
who could render life charming to you.
Seek them, and you are sure to find
them."
"Well, if life presents itself to you in
hues so bright, I am surprised you
should wish to leave it."
"Oh, I am only a poor old sickly man,
unable to earn anything, and who can
endure no longer that his only child, an
angel of a daughter, should work day
and night to maintain him. To allow
this longer I must be a tyrant, a bar
barian." "What, sir," said the other, "you have
an only daughter sacrificing herself for
your sake ?"
"And with what patience, what sweet
ness and love, what perseverance ! I see
her sinking under her toil and her de
privations, and not a word of complaint
escapes her pallid lips. She works and
starves, and still has a word of love for
her father,"
"And you commit suicide ! Are yon
mad ?"
"Dare I murder that angel? The
thought pierces my heart like a dagger,"
said the old man, sobbing.
"Sir, you must have supper with me; I
I see a tavern open yonder. Come, tell
me your history, and I will tell yon j
mine. There' is no occasion for your j
leap into the river. I am a rich man; j
your daughter will no longer have to i
work, and shall not starve."
The old man allowed himself to be
dragged along by his companion. In a
few minutes they were seated at a table
in the tavern, with refreshments before
them, and each examining curiously the
features of the other.
Refreshed by the viands, the old man
began thus:
"My history is soon told. I was a mer
cantile man; but fortune never favored
me. I had no money myself, and loved
and married a poor girl. I never could
begin business on my own account. I
took a situation as book-keeper, which I
held until I became useless from age,
and younger men were preferred to me.
Thus my circumstances were always
circumscribed, but my domestic happi- ory
ness was complete. My wife, an angel of
love kindness and fondness, was good
md pious, active and affectionate; and
my daughter is a true image of her
luother. But age and illness have brought
me to the last extremity, and my con
science revolts against the idea of the
best child in the world sacrificing her
life for an old and useless fellow. I can
not have much longer to live, and I hope
the Lord will pardon me for cutting off a
few days or weeks from my life in order
to preserve that of my dear Bertha."
"You are a fortunate man, my friend,"
exclaimed the young man. "What you
call misfortune is sheer nonsense, and
can be cuffed. To-morrow I shall make
my will, and you shall be the heir of my
possessions, and to-morrow night I shall
take the leap from the Main bridge alone.
But before I leave this world I must see
Bertha, for I am anxious to look upon
one who is worthy of the name of human
being."
"Sir, what could have made you so un
happy at this earjy age ?" said the old
man, "moved by compassion.
"I am the only son of one of the rich
est bankers in Frankfort. My father
died five years ago, and left me heir to
an immense fortune. From that moment
every one that has come in contact with
me has endeavored to deceive and defraud
me. I was a child in innocence and
Valises that Look Alike.
confiding. My education had not been
neglected, and I possessed my mother's
loving heart. My friends, and to whom
1 opened my heart, betrayed me, and
then laughed at my simplicity; in time I
gathered experience, and my heart was
filled with distrust. I was betrothed to
bv a pair of eyes of heavenly blue
The spirit of order, modesty and cleanli
ness reigned in everything around her.
Her features were delicate, like those of
one noble born ; her eyes betrayed sleep
lessness and anxiety, and ever and anon
a sigh rose from the maiden's breast.
Suddenly steps were heard on the stair
case, and her face lighted up with joy.
She listened, and doubt seemed to
shadow her brow. Then came a knock
at the door, which made her tremble so
much that she almost wanted the courage
to say "Come in." A young man, shab
bily dressed, entered the room and made
a low and awkward bow.
"I beg pardon, Miss," said he; "does
Herr Schmidt live here ?"
"Yes, sir; what is your pleasure ?"
"Are you his daughter, Bertha?"
"I am."
"Then it is yon that I seek. I am from
yonr father."
' 'For heaven's sake, where is he ? Some
thing must have happened he has stayed
away all night."
"The misfortune is not very great."
"Oh, my poor, poor father. What
shall I hear ?
The young man seemed to observe
these visible marks of anxiety with great
interest. He said:
"Do not be frightened; it is nothing of
great importance. Your father met last
night an old acquaintance, who invited
him to a tavern They had supper to
gether, but when the landlord came for
his bill your father's friend had de
camped, and left him to pay the score.
He had not sufficient money for this, and
now the host will not let him go until
he is paid, and declares that unless he
gets his money he will send him to
rison."
"To prison !" exclaimed the girl.
"Can you tell tne how much the bill
comes to ?"
"Three florins and a half."
"Oh, God !" sighed the girl. "All I
have does not amount to more than one
florin, but I will go to Madam Berg and
beg of her to advance me the money."
"Who is Madam Berg ?"
"The milliner for whom I work."
"But if Madam Berg does not advance
the money what then ?"
The girl burst into tears.
"I am afraid she will refuse. I already
owe her one florin, and she is very hard."
"For what purpose did you borrow the
money you owe her?"
The girl hesitated to reply.
"You may trust me."
"Well, my father is very weak and
requires strengthening. I borrowed the
money to get a quarter of a fowl for him."
"Under these circumstances I fear
Madam Berg will not give you any. I
possess nothing. Have yon any valua
bles more ? Here is one florin, but that
is all upon which we could raise some
money."
Bertha considered for a moment.
"I have nothing," she said, at length,
"but my poor mother's prayer book. On
her death-bed she entreated me not to
part with it, and there is nothing in the
world I hold more sacred than her mem-
and the promise I gave her; but
still, for my father's sake, I must not
hesitate." With trembling hand she took
the book down from the shelf. "Oh,
sir," she said, "during many a sleepless
night I have been accustomed to enter
the secret thoughts of my -heart on the
blank leaves at the end of the book. I
hope no one will ever know whose
writings they are. You will promise me
that?" .
"Certainly, Bertha; I will take care
that your secrets are not profaned. But
now get ready that we may go."
While she left the room to put on her
bonnet and shawl, Karl Traft (for the
young man was no other than our hero)
glanced over the writing in the book, and
his eyes filled with tears of emotion and
delight as he read the outpourings of a
pure and pious heart. And when they
had left the house together, and she was
walking beside him with a dignity of
which she seemed entirely unconscious,
he cast upon hei looks of respect and ad
miration. They first went to Madame Berg, who
did not give the advance required, but
assured the young man that Bertha was
an angel. Certainly Mr. Traft valued
this praise higher than the money he had
asked. They pawned the book and the
required sum was made up. Bertha was
overjoyed.
"But if you spend all that money to
day," remarked the young man, "on
what will you live to-morrow ?"
"I do not know, but I trust in God. I
shall work the whole night through."
When they went to the tavern, the
young man went first to prepare old Mr.
Schmidt for the part he wished him to
If the trunk manufacturers do not quit
making so many thousands of valises ex
actly alike, somebody is going to get
into some awful trouble about it some
time, and some trunk maker will be sued
for damages enough to build a court
house.
The other day an omnibus full of pas
sengers drove up town from the Union
depot. Side by side sat a commercial
traveler, named William Macaby, and
Mrs. Winnie C. Dumpleton, the eminent
lady temperance lecturer. When the
omnibus reached the Barret House, the
commercial missionary seized his valise
and started out. The lady made a grab
after him and he halted.
"I beg your pardon," she said, "but
you have my valise."
"You are certainly mistaken, madam,"
the traveler said, courteously but hrmly,
"this is mine."
"Wo, sir! the lady replied, "it is
mine. I would know it among a thou
sand. You must not take it."
But the' traveler persisted and the lady
insisted, and thev came verv near Quar
reling. Presently one of the passengers
pointed to a twin valise in the omnibus,
and asked:
"Whose is that?"
"It isn't mine," said the traveler; "it is
just like it, but this is mine.
"And it isn't mine," said the lady; "he
has mine, and I'll have it, or 111 have
the law on him. . It's a pity if a lady
can t travel alone in this country with
out being robbed of her property in
broad daylight.
Finally the traveler said he would open
the valise to prove his property. The
lady objected at first, saying she did not
want her valise opened in the presence
of strangers. But as there was no other
means of settling the dispute, she at last
consented. The traveler sprung the lock,
opened the valise, and the curious crowd
bent forward to see.
On the very top of everything lay a
big, flat flask, half full of whisky, a deck
of cards, and one or two other things that
nobody knows the name of.
The traveler was the first to recover
his self-possession and speech.
"Madam," he said, "you are right.
The valise is yours. I owe you a thou
sand apolo
But the lady had fainted, and the trav
eler relocked his valise with a quiet
smile. Early in the afternoon a sign
painter down town received a note in a
feminine hand, asking him to come to the
Barrett House to mirk a red leather
valise in black letters a foot and a half
long. Hmvkeye.
WIT AND HUMOR.
of
Very bad taste A bite of stale egg
A Revenue Cutter Ye clipper
j coupons.
Unlike the flea, when you; put your
finger on a hornet he is there.'
' Isaac Ream's suffering from consump
' ion during this warm weather.
! Kearney lias plenty of sand in his lots,
i but not lots of sand in his craw.
New York policemen are evidently of
English extraction as they are jEers.
"Now I am undone," as the package of
1 sugar said when it fell from the grocer's
wagon.
It was the man who wrote his final be-
quests on a piece of stove plate had an
iron will.
One half of the world don't know how
! the other half live and it's none of their
j business.
I A train of cars may run on a standard
, guage, while a train of thought runs on
language.
JJJames Rodpath, the lecture bureau
man, has been missing lor three weeks.
Not strange.
It hardly seems credible that the great
Roscoe Conkling's poolitical grave
should have for a head stone a Rhode
Island clam.
What a miracle it would be to feed a
multitude upon five loaves of such short
weight bread as Toronto bakers sell
nowadays.
We know of a man, a victim to
tobacco, who hasn't tasted food, for
forty-seven years. The tobacco killed
him in 1832.
Bob Ingersoll is trying to start a new
party. There is a certain wicked old
party who will start some day if he
doesn't look out.
The only line that a woman takes when
she starts out on the journey of life is
usually a masculine.
A Mr. Olds, of Columbus has invented
an improved refrigerator. He must be a
gentleman of the Olds cool.
The admittance fee to the Long Branch
pier, is nothing more nor less than a
species of modern wharf-fare.
Tis passing strange that amid all the
mistakes of the world, nobody ever
passed a quarter for a twenty-cent piece.
The true philosopher does not scold,"
observes Nat Bur bank, of the New
Orleans Picayune. Ye men with scold
ing wives, take this and paste it tip on
the curtain.
Running a Newspaper.
There was only one newspaper in this
town, a semi-weekly. I arrived at the
place in the afternoon, and it was dark
before I gave up looking for a piano. I
had not visited the newspaper offace and
did not intend to do so until the next
day. But after supper I learned that the
paper was a semi-weekly and would be
issued next day.
Anxious to get m an advertisement and
a notice before the paper went to press I
hurried to the office as soon as I obtained
the information. On arriving there I
found the employees, who consisted of
two young women and a boy lounging
around in great discontentment and dis
gust. The cause was soon explained. A
man lay on the floor with his head on a
pile of newspapers. He was in a drunken
stupor.
The employees explained that he was
the editor and proprietor. He had been
drinking for two or three days and bad
undertook to sober himself up that
afternoon, to write his editorials, by
drinking whisky and seltzer. His effort
at sobering up had been attended with"
the result that presumed itself in his per
son. Generally speaking he was a
sober man, but occasionally fell into
temptation. This was one of his peri
odical departures from the path of
sobriety.
The employees had set up all the copy
that had been given to them and now
waited for more. Not a line of editorial
had been written for the paper, and they
feared that its issue would be a day late
as had happened to be the case once or
twice previously.
"What are the politics of the paper?"
I inquired.
"Republican," was the answer.
"All right," said I, "you can take your
sticks, I will write some editorials. But
first I will give you my advertisement.
Let that be set up first. It must go into
this issue. Don't be afraid; we'll get out
the paper."
I took off my coat and sat down at the
editor's desk. The work was not new to
me. I headed my first editorial "The
Advantages of musical culture." Under
this head I said as much in favor of
musical education as could well be said
in half a column, of space, brevier type,
and closed by saying:
"In this connection it gives us pleas
ure to state that our citizens will soon
have an opportunity of observing the
wonderful strides we have taken in
musical culture within a decade. A
glance at the displayed advertisement on
our inside will recall the pleasant memo
ries of the past and excite joyous antici
pations of the future. He is coming
among us again the great ! the
prince of violinists! Coming again! the
Jupiter of the musical firmament! at
tended by a galaxy of stars of the first
magnitude. Shall he have a welcome?
It is for our music loving citizens to
answer. They will answer! That an
swer will be a crowded house."
My next editorial was on politics. The
State was in the throes of the fall cam
paign, and, although something ol a
mild Democrat myself, yet appreciating
my position as temporary editor of a Re
publican paper I gave the Democrats
particular toridity, charging them, like a
good Republican as I was for the time
being, with all the crimes in the calen
der. I closed this rousing editorial as
follows:
"But while we claim that Republican
supremacy is necessary to the nation's
welfare, while we enter the emphatic
declaration that this political strife must
go on until we are victors, while we
stand party opposed to party, at daggers
drawn as it were in the assertion of our
political principles, it is a pleasure to
reflect that we can still meet on one com
mon ground in the affairs of social life,
and as citizens we will see to it that we
will raise one united and unanimous
shout of welcome to the great when
he comes amongst us one week from to
day see ad. inside.
I flattered myself that this was a very
neat way of bringing in the name of the
leading card of the company, while, at
the same time, it took a little of the
rough edge off the editorial itself; with
out in the least weakening its Republi
canism.
My third editorial was entitled "Music
in the Home." My remarks on this sub
ject had reference to the influence of
music in promoting harmony in the
family circle. I also gave (this a neat
turn jji a closing paragraph bringing in
the concert company. These editorials
were sympathized by expressions I
sandwiched in between them, such as,
"Secure your seats early!" "We predict
an unparalled rush for places! " Our
citizens will do injury to their reputation
for musical enthusiasm and social hospi
tality if they do not turn out en masse to
receive the great on his arrival here!"
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
Perfumes ami Girls.
A Gewaij Fellow's Death. Some of
my readers who have had the entry to
artistic and high class Bohemia in Lon
don will remember a square headed and
bright young man, who was to be met
with at many convivial houses. He was
the eldest son of Hep worth Dixon, and a
godson of Douglas Jerrold, after whom
he was christened Jerrold. A few weeks
ago he came rushing into my house in
his hopeful, sanguine way to say "Good
bye, old fellow, I'm off to Dublin by the
night mail." He had been appointed
Secretary to the Dublin Sanitary Com
mission. A week ago I heard that he
was going well and making his way to the
hearts of some of the leaders of society
in the Irish Capital. Recently I saw a
telegram announcing his death. The
Commission had completed its work
a very short time afterward. Young
Dixon (he was 31 years old) had posted
up his work. He was not quite well.
Hie died before any member of his family
could get over to see him. He was a
genial and pleasant fellow, and his death
is much lamented among a large circle of
other genial and pleasant fellows.
Though a barrister by profession
he preferred to walk in the hard
and thorny paths of literature and Jour
nalism. He wrote occasionally for the
Examiner, contributed several short,
lively stories to Belgrqvia and the
Theatre, and for a little while con
tributed a London letter to a New York
evening paper. One of his comediettas
was produced at the Ooera Comiaue.and
he had, in collaboration with Julian
Hawthorne, written an unacted comedy.
He was one of the contributors to
Dicken's Dictionary of London, and his
highest ambition latterly has been to
make a tour through the United States.
Paris Corr. N. Y. Times.
We are about to divulge to an honest
people, and to our delinquent subscrib
ers, a fact, perhaps somewhat startling to
the majority of readers, which contains
the ingredients of truth and poetry
with the latter in the minority.
A remarkable scientific discovery is
alleged to haye been made by the emi
nent scientific person, Dr. Piero Fabris
of Venice. Dr. Fabris was preparing an
exhaustive work on "The Function of
Perfume in Flowers," when the thought
occurred to him: Are not all our im,
pulses due to the influence of perfumes-
and it is not possible to make the human
nose the greatest influence of education .
This thought led to the long series of
careful experiments which finally en
abled him to formulate rules for the pro
duction of female character at will.
Dr. Fabris's experiments were made
with the aid of seventy-eight girls of
between ten and fifteen years of age.
These girls he divided into six classes.
Hiach class was kept day and night in an
atmosphere steeped in some particular
perfume. The effect of these scientific
perfumes were carefully studied, and the
result is really startling.
The class of girls in musk consisted of
thirteen members chosen at random. At
the end of six months every girl, with
out exception, had become plump,
languid and conspicuously good tem
pered, unless under extreme provocation.
Though Dr. Fabris found musk produced
a desire for wearing fine clothes and
jewelry, it te also evident that it did not
stimulate a. taste for personal neatness,
though perhaps this was due to indispo
sition to take any unnecessary trouble,
which is the characteristic effect of musk.
This experiment cbnvinced the investi
gator that an amiable, languid and
showy ftirl, with a tendency to undue
postponement in the matter of collars
and cuffs, may be produced in from five
or six months out of the most scraggy,
spiteful and viciously active material.
The effect of the perfume of the rose
was precisely opposite to that of musk.
The girls of the rose class grew thin,
abnormally neat, excessively prudish
and decidedly unamiable. A curious
unwillingness to tell the truth was de
veloped in twelve of the thirteen girls
subjected to this experiment, a result
which was the more remarkable since, in
other respects, they were unusually
strict m obeying the teachings of the
church. For this style of girls there is,
offjpurse, little or no demand, except in
those parts of New England where every
girl is expected to become a school
teacher.
Geranium was found to produce a fair
sample of a girl. Those subjected to its
influence developed the plumpness of
the musk girls, a decidedly independent
spirit, and a tendency to free thinking in
matters of religion. This kind of girl
would probably meet a large demand in
our Western and Northwestern estates,
where personal beauty and strength of
character are much prized, and where
orthodoxy in religion is not regarded as
essential. Dr. Fabris is inclined to
think that by the alternate action of
geranium and violet a modified girl
might be produced, would be a decided
improvement upon either a pure gera
nium or a pure violet girl.
Very satisfactory results were obtained
by the use of violets. The girls upon
whom this perfume was employed be
came gentle and truthful. They also,
however, developed some indications of
melancholy, and were as a rule, lacking
in physical and moral force. So far as
the doctor's investigations have been
pushed, violet appears to give the best
results. It is hoped that his expectations
as to the alternative use of violet and
geranium will be justified; for in that
case we shall be able to produce girls
who will be almost faultless.
The only other perfume with which
Dr. Fabris experimented was patchouli,
and the results were most discouraging.
At the end of two months the girls of the
patchouli class had developed every un
desiring quality, and it was perhaps a
good thing that a mob, justly maddened
by the scent of patchouli which radiated
from the doctor's laboratory, broke into
the premises and destroyed nearly every
thing that they could lay their hands on.
ALL SORTS.
166
Snake stories should not generally be
credited unless she name and residence
of the snake be given.
The world never knows the great
respect lawyers have for each other,until
one dies and there is a meeting of the
bar.
An Irishman describes a savings bank
as a place where you can put your money
in to-day, and get it out to-morrow; by
giving thirty day's notice.
When a boy becomes ashamed to sit in
his mother's lap, he is generally in busi
ness for himself holding some one in
his lap.
In some cities, where the blue ribbon
does not prevail over much, the other
side of the soda fountain does the most
business.
"A tail that tolled," remarked the
gatekeeper when he caught a horse by
the conclusion while he made the rider
pay the fare.
"No more" is a sweeping angel; "too
late" is a mocking fiend. Sorrow is the
concomitant of the one, remorse that of
the other.
jarcn brown a tabiespooniui of rice;
put into a cup of cold water and let it
come to a boil; sweeten a little.
We see no excuse for having let the
race called sharp-shooters die out. There
are still book agents in the land.
These are the evenings for courting
strolls. Yonkers Statesman. Better for
courting girls.
We've noticed that's it's most always
the aggressor in a dog fight that gets
licked, and it's a good deal so with
men.
Show us the man who hasn't indulged
in a picnic. We want to shake hands
with him as a gorgeous exception to the
general rule, and kill him.
A young man who lost a bet of the
oysters with three of his friends, said
he wouldn't pay unless he was four
stew.
How doth the busy bee? Oh, well as
can be expected under the circumstances.
We've just smashed him for unfolding
his interest-sting tail, ding bat him.
In Candahar, when a young woman
becomes sweet on a young man she sends
him a hairpin, meaning, "that is the
kind of a hairpin I am." If the young
man is like Barkis, he pins a handker
chief to iMfteap with the hairpin, signify
ing: "tMm can bet your sweet life I am
on it worse than an Injun." This
amounts to an engagement and a notifi
cation to all the folks of the fact, and
then they get married. This plain and
simple way of doing the business, saves
a deal of swinging on the gates, burning
kerosene oil of nights, buying ice-cream,
and standing off the liveryman for
buggies.
A WEEK in your own town and no
capital risked You can give the
business a inai wiwiuut expense.
The best opportunity ever offered for
7t .... i 1 oV. ami 1.1 i.rv nnf.hjiiir
mose wining io worn, j a
else until you see for yourself what you can do at
tne ousiness we oner, xiu w
You can devote all your time or only your spare
time to the business, and make great pay for
every hour you work. Women make as much
as men. Send for special private terras ana par
ticulars, which we mail free. e outnt iree.
Don't complain of hard times while you have
such a chance Address II. HALLETT & CO.,
Portland, Maine. io:diyi
j. TO $6000 A YEAR, or $5 to $20 a day
CR W in your own locality. No risk. Wo-
ra I il men do as wel1 83 wen- Manv make
IIV more than the amount stated above.
No one can fail to make money fast. Any one
J Ik. urnrlr Ynll ran lllflke from jOctS to
la&u vtv 1. 1 . -
$2 an hour by devoting your evenings and spare
tune to i in uiiomcffo. n - v.j
business Nothing like it for money making
ever offered before Business pleasant and strict
ly honorable. Reader, if you want to know all
about the best paying business before the public,
send us your address and we will send you full
particulars and private terms free; samples worth
$5 also free; you can then make up your mind
for vourself Address GEORGE STINSON
CO , "Portland, Maine. 16:3lyl
SAFf & LOCK COMPANY,
CtJNtM i,oo,o.
Oncral ( ffiees rnd fan "factory
CINCINNATI, OHIO.
Pacific Brasch,
No. 210 Sansome St., S. F-
Agcncv for Oregon and Washington Territory,
with HAWLEY, DODD & CO., Portland.
HALL'S PATENT CONCRETE
FIRE-PROOF SAFES.
Have been tested by the most disastrous confla
grations in the country.
They are thoroughly fire proof.
They are free from dampness.
Their snneriority is beyond question.
Although about 1 50,000 of these safes are now
in use, and hundreds have been tested by some
of the most disastrous conflagrations in the
country, there is not a single instance eu record
wherein one of them ever failed to preserve its
contents perfectly.
HALL'S PATENT DOVETAILED
TENON AND GROOVE
BURGLAR-PROOF
Have never been broken open and robbed by
burglars or robbers.
Hall's burglar work ia. protected by letters
patent, and his work cannot be equaled lawfully.
His patent bolt is superior to any in use.
His puteutfucks cannot be picked by the most
skillful experts or burglars.
By one of the greatest improvements known,
tbe Gross Automatic Movement, our locks are
operated without any arbor or spindle passing
through the door and into the lock.
Our locks cannot be opened or picked by bur
glars or experts, (as in case of otherlocks),and we
will put from $1,000 'o $10,000 behind them any
time against air equal amount.
The most skilled workmen only are employed.
Their work cannot be excelled.
Hall's Safes and Locks can be relied on at all
times.
They are carefully and thorughly constructed.
THET ARE THE BEfeT SAFE
Made in America, or any other country.
One Thousand Dollars
To any person who e n prove that one of Hail's
patent burglar-proof sales nasever oeen
broken open and robbed by
burglars up to the
present time.
B. K. WILLIAMS,
Agent for Oregon and W. T.
Office tvliti Hawlej, l.oild ..
28fcbl6:9tf. Portland.
Bees Hamlin.
Emmett F. Wkenn.
DRAYAGE !
DRAY ACE !
Hamlin & Wrenn. Propr's.
HAVING JCST RETURNED FROM
Sulem with a new truck, and having
leased the bam formerly occupied by James Eg
lin, we are now prepa.ed to do all kinds of
DRAYIMC AMD HAULING,
either in the city or country, at the lowest living
rates. Can be found at the old truck stand. A
share of the public patronage respectfully solic
ited. Corvallis, Dec. 27, 1878. 15:52tf
JOB PRINTING.
THE
Gazette Job Printing House
IS NOW PREPARED TO DO
Plain and Ornamental Printing,
As neat and Cheap as it can be done by any
Office on the Coast
Mil Beads,
Aitrtler Heai
(e henda.
hi emrata,
P. ogriuninet,
Bull Tickets.
Invitations
Circulars,
Buitiue s ird.,
VlaiMBK arda,
Labels.
Dodfffrs.
btaall raster.
Kavelepes. t
Bank Betes,
fcblpplas; Receipts,
Order Bonks.
Buns,
Tace.
nr.. Kte
-Orders by mail promptly filled. Esti
mates furnished.
AUGUST KNIGHT.
CABINET MfeAKEH,
AND--
UNDERTAKER.
Cor. Second ami Monroe Sts.,
CORTiLLIK, ORKMOH.
Keeps constantly on hand all kinds of
FURNITUIIE
COFFINS ANO CASKETS.
Work done to order on short notice, and
at reasonable rates.
Corvaliis. Jan. 1. 1877. U4
UK WtllGft iU BUS
Good Hooks lor All."
Works which should be found In every library
within the reach of all readers. Works to en
tertain, instruct and improve. Copies will
sent by return post, on receipt of price.
Nav Physiomiomy-, or Signs of Character, as
manifested through Temperament, and Exter
nal forms, and especially in the Human Pace
Divine. With more than One Thousand Illus
trations. By Samuel R. Wells. 768 pages.
Heavy muslin. $5.60.
Hydropathic Encyclopedia; A system of Hveiene
embracing Outlines of Anatomy, Physiology
of the Human Body ; Preservation of Health :
Dietetics and Cookery; Theory and Practice of
Hygienic Treatment; Special Patholoev and
xnerapeutics, including the Nature, Cause s
Symptoms and Treatment of all Known Dip-
eaSeS- 5?R- T- Trall M" D- Nearly 1000
pages. $4.00.
Wedlock; or The Right Relations of the Sexes.
A Scientific Treatise, disclosing the Laws of
Conjugal Selection. Showing Who May and
WhoMayKotMarry. By Samuel R. Wells.
How to Read ; and Hints in Choosing the Best
wiiu a i-iassuiea ii st ot Works of Bio
graphy, History, Criticism, Fine Arts, Poetry,
Fiction, Religion, Science, Language, etc By
AwBhe V.Pefitt. 220 pages. 12 mo, muslin.
How to Write; a Manual
Letter-Writing. Mnalln k
Hoto to Talk; a Manual
Debate, with mistakes in Speaking corrected
How to Behave; a Manual of Republican Eti
quette and Guide to Correct Personal Habits,
with Rules for Debating Societies. Muslin
(5c.
How to do Business; a Pocket Manual of Practi
cal Affairs and a guide to Success, with a col
lection of Legal Forms. Muslin, 75c
Choice of Pursuit; or What to Do and How to
Educate Each Man for his Proper work, de
scribing Seventy-five Trades and Professions
and theTalents and Temperaments required .
By N. S zer. $1.00.
Expression, its Anatomy and Phiksophy, with
numerous Notes, and upwards of 70 illustra
tions. $1.00.
How to Paint; Designed for Tradesmen, Mer
chants, Mechanics, Farmers and the Profession
al Painter. Plain and Fancy Painting, Guild
ing, Graining, Varnishing, Polishing, Paper
Hanging, Ka'sominingand Ornamenting, For
mulas for Mixing Paint in Oil or Water. By
Gardner. $1.00.
Combe's Constitution of Man. Considered in
relation to External Objects. $1.50.
Combe's Lectures on Phrenology. With an Essay
on the Phrenological mode of Investigation,
and a Hi:-torical Sketch. By Andrew Board
man, M. D. $1.50.
How to Read Character. A new Illustrated
Hand-book of Phrenology and Physiognomy.
With 170 engravings Muslin, $1.25. .
How to Raise Fruits. A Guide to the Cultiva
tion aud Management of Fruit Trees, and of
Grapes and Small Fruits. Bv Thomas Gregg.
Illustrated. $1.00.
Letters to Womefi on Midwifery and the Diseases
of women. With General Management of
Childbirth, the Nursery, etc. For Wives and
Mothers. $1.50.
Science of Human Life. By Sylvester Graham.
With a Copious Index and Biographieal Sketch
of the Author. $3.00.
PhrenolooicalJoumal and Life Illustrated. De
voted to Ethmology, Physiology, Phrenology
Physiognomy, Psycology, Biography, Educa
tion, Art, Literature, with Measures tp Re
form, Elevate and Improve Mankind Physi
cally, Mentally and Spiritually. Published
Monthly in octavo form, at $2.00 a year in
advance, or 29 cents a number. New volumes
January and July.
Inclose auiouut in a registered letter or by a
P. O. order for one or for all of the above, and
address 8. R. WELLS & CO., Publishers, 737
Broadway, New York. Agents wanted.
RUPTURE
CURED!
From a Merchant.
Dai-ton, W. T. Feb. 10, 1879.
Tf. J. Home, Proprietor California Elastic
Truss Co., 720 Market street, San Francis Dear
Sir : The Truss I purchased of you one year ago
ba i proved a miracle to me. I have been ruptur
ed forty years, and wore dozens of different kinds
of Trasses, all of which ruined my health, as
they were very injurious to my back and spine.
Your valuable Truss is as easy as an old shoe and
is worth hundreds of dollars to me, as it affords
me so much pleasure. I can and do advise all,
both ladies and gentlemen, afflicted, to buy and
wear your modern improved Elastic Truss Imme
diately. I never expect to be cured, but am sat
isfied and happy with the comfort it gives me to
wear it. It was the best $10 I ever invested in
my life. You can refer any one to me, and I will
be happy to answer any letters on its merits,
remain, yours, respectfully.
D. D. Bunnell.
Latest Medical Endorsements.
Martinez, Cal.,Feb. 17, 1879.
TV. J. Home, Proprietor California Elastic
Truss Co., 720 Market street, 8. F. Dear Sir:
In regard to your Cal. Elastic Truss, I would say
that I have carefully studied its mechanism, ap
plied it in practice, and I do not hesitate to say
that for all purposes for which Trusses are worn
it is the b st Truss ever offered to the public.
Yours truly. J. II. Cakothbbs, M. D.
Endorsed by a Prominent Uedlcal Instt
lata.
San Fbancisco, March 0, 1879.
W. J. Home, Esq. Dear Sir . You ask my
opinion of the relative merits of your Patent
cinauc xiunn, ia tamiijuicu wilu uiuui tuuus to.u
have been tested under my observation, and in
reply I frankly state, that from the time my at
tention was first called to their simple, though
highly mechanical and philosophical construction,
together with easy adjustibiiity to persons of all
ages, forms and sizes. I add this further testi
monial with special pleasure, that tbe several
persons who have applied to me for aid in their
cases of rupture, and whom I have advised to try
yours, all acknowledge their entire satisfaction,
and consider themselves highly favored by the
possession of your improved Elastic Truss.
JtOUIStlUly, UARI.OIV J. SMITH, M. D.
Proprietor of the Hygienic Medical Institute
D.3.1 uaiuornia street, Dan r rancisco.
A Remarkable Cure.
San Fbancisco, Oct. 26, 1879.
W. .. Home, Proprietor California Elastic
Truss, 720 Market street, San Francisco Dear
Sii I am truly grateful to you for the wonder
ful CURE your valuable Truss has effected on my
little boy. The double Truss I purchased from
you has PERFECTLY CURED him of his pain
ful rupture on both sides in a little over six
months. The Steel Trjss he had before I bought
yours caused him cruel torture, and it was a hap
py day lor us an wuen ne laiu it asiae ior tou
CALIFORNIA ELASTIC TRUSS. I am sure
that all will be thankful who are providentially
led to give your Truss a trial. You may refer
any one to me on the subject. Yours truly,
v m. nau, two oacramenio ou
This is to certify that I have examined the son
of Wm. Peru, and faBd him PERFECTLY
CURED of Hernia, on both sides.
L. Dkxtkk Lvpobd, M. D.
Surgeon and Physician.
Trusses forwarded to all parts of the United
Stales at our expense, on receipt oj price.
end
stamp tor Illustrated Catalogue
and Price Mi.
Giving full information and rules for measuring
UljeasmM ELASTIC TRUSS
COMPANY,
no Market Sired, 9. F.
$300
A MONTH guaranteed. $12 a
day at home made by the indus
trious. Capital not required; we
arill atari, vou Mpn. women
boys and girls make money faster at work for us
than at anyitung eise. me worn. i jirhi auu
pleasant, and such as anyone can go right at.
Those who are wise who see this notice will tend
us their addresses at once and see for themselves.
r 1. n w-. A Urma Yn VftW w 1 1 , f. ttmo
VOStlV UU.U. Wlu kiiiio uv... - ' ... .
j Those already at work are laying up large sums
I of money. Address TRUE CO., Augusta,
Maine. 18:31yl.,