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PORTLAND. SUNDAY. APRIL 29; U06.
EARTHQUAKE AND MAN.
The earthquake at San Francisco, in
comparison with earthquakes that have
occurred elsewhere at various times
within human history, was not severe.
Joss of life at San Francisco, though
considerable, -was not great. Loss of
property -would have been small but
for destruction by fire. Seismic energy
diminishes as we recede from the
equator especially In the Western
Hemisphere. This seems to be experi
ence, and we do not expect violent
earthquakes in America, as far north
as San Francisco. Yet Lisbon, in the
Eastern Hemisphere, Is just about dn
the latitude of San Francisco; and at
Lisbon in 1755 occurred an earthquake
most terrible in its consequences, so
far as -we know, of all that history has
recorded. The city -was destroyed, and
the number of persons who perished
has been estimated variously at from
40.000 to 60,000. A large part of the
t ity sank below the sea, and the in
habitants, engulfed, perished mostly
by drowning. At San Francisco the
iolenoe of the earthquake was in no
way comparable with this. The loss
at San Francisco though a consider
able number were killed by the earth
quakewas mostly by fire. And the
lire was the consequence ofmodern
conditions gas pipes broken by the
shock, electric currents, use of illumi
nants to an extent unknown in former
times, fall buildings, and collection of
oil, coal and other combustibles in dis
tricts which would break Into confla
gration at once. Loss of water supply
would complete the catastrophe. By
the earthquake itself San Francisco
is as not much hurt, though the earth
quake was the cause of the consuming
fire.
Of all earthquakes of which there is
any precise' historical record that at
Lisbon, in 1755. was the worst; and It
may reinsure us all, whose eyes have
been lixrd during nearly two weeks
past on San Francisco, that Lisbon has
since had no similar visitation of ser
ious kind. This catastrophe at San
Francisco will pass into history and be
forgotten in current life.
In literature the earthquake at Lis
bon carries peculiar interest. It opaned
the question a to man's relation to
Nature or to Providence a question
Indeed not new. but awakened to new
life by an incident so appalling. Vol
taire wrote a poem which was an in
quiry into the comfortable doctrine.
"Whatever Is is right." It was a sub
ject that put both philosophers and
theologians on the defensive, for it was
not easy to reconcile such a catastro
phe with any theory of the universe
which had yet found general or re
spectable acceptance in Christendom.
The earthquake occurred on All Saints
Day, one of the great festivals of the
Roman Catholic year, and at an hour
when the numerous churches of the
city were filled to overflowing with
worshipers. In six minutes the city
was in ruins, half the population had
perished; the miserable survivor were
face to face -with conditions the most
terrible that can confront mortal be
ings; all the region round about was
shaken fearfully, and repeated shocks
kept the universal terror alive. Quick
communication by telegraph and steam
and methods of relief, now so familiar,
were then unknown. The transmitted
energy of this earthquake was across
the Atlantic. In Boston every house,
eighteen days later, had its memento
of the perturbation, and nearly all the
chimneys wore thrown down.
News was then about a month in
traveling from Lisbon to Geneva,
-where Voltaire then was. The doctrine
of Pope's "Essay on Man" then had
wide circulation and favor. In liter
ary circles it was fashionable to rest
in the comfortable doctrine that there
was really no evil, but that all par
tial evil was universal good. The
philosophy was summed up in the famil
iar line. "Whatever is .is right." Vol
taire's poem upon the disaster at Lis
bon, written while the perturbations
continued. Is the most powerful and
pathetic human utterance of that gen
eration. What crime had these people
committed? Was Lisbon wickeder than
Paris? If. an eruption like this was
necessary, could it not have burst forth
in the midst of an uninhabited desert?
All this may seem shallow now, but it
serves as a record to mark precisely
how far man-at that time a century
and a half ago had -advanced toward
the discovery of his own ignorance.
Rousseau ' followed Voltaire in an in
genious letter, written to uphold or
Justify the-old notion or doctrine, so
shaken in its base. Not that Rousseau
was more reverent than Voltaire, but
he"lsaw in the catastrophe of Ltsbe-n
new proof of the essential evil, as he
deemed it. of civilisation. Savages, he
observed, would not have built houses
Seven stories high, nor huddled a popu
lation of two hundred thousand In o
small a space. In the long epistle writ
ten to parry Voltaire's poem, Rousseau
does not advance anything more valu
able than this: God is perfect; there
fore all that occurs Is the best possible;
this world, then, really Is, because it
must be, the best of all possible worlds,
except in so far as man has perverted
it by a false civilization or social sys
tem. Hence Pope Is right and Voltaire
is wrong. Rousseau's letter, though
eloquent and plausible, did not admit
of a serious reply: but Voltaire retorted
In "Candlde." the drollest of philo
sophic queer stories, which throws a
merciless searchlight on the flimsier
optimism of the period, and stands as a
perfect example of literary style, equal
to the Provincial Letters of Pascal,
razing a Babel tower by the wave of a
feather. It is the most disillusionizing
book ever written. The author carries
his Ingenuous young hero and his pe
dantic German tutor to Lisbon, where
they arrive Just in the nick of time to
see the horrors of the earthquake. The
tutor, none other than the celebrated
Dr. Paugloss, is always seeking to
make clear to his pupil that this is the
"best of all possible worlds," by point
ing out to him the exceptional benefits
that may from time to time accrue
from shipwreck, pestilence, rape,
murder, incendiarism and all the hor
rors of life. In Lisbon, therefore, he
has the most triumphant of chances to
glorify his theory. We trouble ourselves
little about such theory now. Man has
learned better his place in Nature.
"What I know." said Candide, "is that
we must cultivate our garden." "Let
us work without theorizing," said one
of his companions: "it is the only way
to render life supportable."
(iEOGRAPHV AND CANDIDATES.
" A portion oV the state press Js dis
posed to read a lecture to .Marlon Coun
ty and Baker County on the deep Im
morality of having too many candidates
for -office, and to point to the results
of the late primary election as show
ing the utter futility of such wicked
ness. Marlon County, for example, had
three candidates for Secretary of State,
two for Representative In Congress, one
for Governor and one for State Printer;
and one misguided newspaper declares
that .as a consequence Marlon Count
emerges from the turmoil with nothing.
It is the inalienable right of any citi
zen to become a candidate for office
under our primary system, whether ho
hails from Marlon County or not, and
the unhappy fate of the numerous as
pirants Tor position from that County
need not deter others. As a matter of
fact, Marlon has done just as well as
any other county In the state (except
Multnomah), despite the assertions of
uninformed newspapers. It has the
Republican candidate for Representa
tive in Congress for the First District
for the first time within the genera
tion. In the present state administra
tion Marlon County has no representa
tive at all. and it has been a long, long
time since it has had more than one.
The geographical distribution of candi
dates made by the late primary is as
follows:
Governor. Benton County.
Secretary of State. Doucla- County.
Treasurer. Clackamas County.
State Printer. Multnomah County.
Superintendent of Public Instruction. Mult
nomah County.
Attorney-General. Douglas County.
Supreme Judf-f. Union County.
I-abor Commissioner. Multnomah County.
RcpreHentatlvrK In Con-rres. Marlon and
Umatilla Counties.
United States Senator. Multnomah County.
Multnomah came out first best, but
it will scarcely be contended that it
had that fortune because it cast the
most -otes. The successful candidate
for United States Senator lost his own
county, but the outside counties in
sisted that the candidate should come
from here. It will undoubtedly be gen
erally conceded, too. that the three
other Multnomah candidates were
chosen because of their personal merits
and not because of location.
Whatever criticism there Is to be
made, then, of the primary law cannot
fairly be based on overpowering in
fluence exercised by the large' counties
on the one hand, or of the multitude of
candidates from a single county, on the
other. Marion has done as well as
under the old convention system: and
so has Baker, which got nothing and
never did get anything. Multnomah has
fared well, because the state at large,
and not Multnomah Itself, Insisted that
four or the nominees should hail from
Portland.
EVIDENCE OF FHOG.KESS.
There is evidence all along the line
that the world is getting better as time
goes on not that it is getting worse,
as the pessimist and the preacher
politician would have us believe. Take,
for example, the matter of child labor,
of which much Is being said at this
time. No longer ago than 1SS4. as stated
by Dr. Fred Rogers Falrchlld in an
article recently published on "Factory
Lcglslatlon in New York State." the
employment of children under ten years
of age in the factories of that state was
general and attended by very grave
abuses. There was no .care for the pro
tection of these Infant tollers, and but
little thought was given to the unchildly
wretchedness of their lot. In the mill
districts of Cohoes, Amsterdam, Little
Falls and Uttca many children began
to work at eight -or nine years of age,
and In one mill In the former city, out
of 3200 employes 1200 w:ere children
under sixteen. In New Tork City chil
dren began working In the gas bouses
at eight, nine and ten years of age.
while in the crullery bakeries children
of from nine to thirteen worked all
night. From 5 to 25 per cent of the
cigar workers were children under
J fifteen, manj of them being about nine
unu some iiu more man lour.
This seems Incredible, and yet these
conditions ruled In one of the most
enlightened states In the Union less
than a quarter of a century ago. Only
by state intervention, behind which
public opinion surged and protested In
the name of humanity, and the pressure
of labor unions, urged on by the primal
law of self-protection, was this exploit
ation of the weak and the helpless
checked.
One need scarcely refer to the
changed conditions wrought by this
combination of forces In the factories
of New Tork. As the law now stands
(an amendment to the first factory act
passed in 1S86) children under fourteen
are barred from factories entirely, and
between fourteen and sixteen, except
under proper certification as to simple
educational qualifications and normal
physical development. Children under
sixteen are not allowed te work, before
6 A- If. and after 9 P. M.
Mock still remains to e done In per
fecting the child labor law- In New
Torlc and other nuinafacturlng states,
but truly much has been done In this
line in a quarter of a century, and
especially In its more recent years.
The temptation to exploit children
for profit Is still strong, and mercenary
parents and grasping corporations
yield to it whenever possible to do so
without discovery. But, as stated re
cently by the New Tork Independent,
if is something to show for progress
that by state intervention tbe number
of child workers has been reduced by
one-half, their workday has been
shortened, their attendance upon school
considerably increased, and the degree
of illiteracy notably lessened.
A- DREAM OK BEAUTY.
San Pranclsco. In the opinion -of
Architect Daniel H. Burnham, has the
opportunity now to become a city beau
tiful an American Paris. The sug
gestion will no doubt meet with general
approval among those- w'hose means
and business energy will rebuild the
city. But San Francisco will not be
built piecemeal, so to speak, as It was
before. The city long since outstripped
the ideas upon which Its foundation was
laid. Here a little and there a little.
Its area has been increased, making the
growth of necessity conform In outline
to the plans that were made before such
growth was Imagined. This will not be
the case In the sudden uprising of the
great city from Its ashes the rehabili
tation of Its business, the upspringlng
of a new life, big with past and possible
achievement.
San Francisco, says Mr. Burnham.
"has an opportunity now to do what
Paris did under Louis Napoleon In 1S51
make itself one of the beauty spots
of the world." If the people are will
ing to make haste slowly, relatively
speaking, this opportunity may be
worked out In grand and striking de
tail.. But the needs of commerce press
theV?xigencIes of business clamor
the homeless are eager for shelter.
"Whether or not these Interests can be
held in check until a more deliberate
movement can be inaugurated, looking
to the construction of an American
Paris Is a question. "The cutting of
diagonal streets, and the construction
of a splendid outer boulevard that will
encircle the whole city" represent possi
bilities that are at present but dreams
of beauty, the fulfillment of which may
be prevented by the spirit of haste that
pervades all enterprise In tbe New
World.
THE GENERAL STRIKE.
The process of modern thought and
controversy has made It necessary for
readers to understand what the word
"proletariat" means. It comes to us
by way of France from the Latin word
proletarlus. and this word was formed
from proles, which means offspring.
Proletarlus signified to the Romans a
citizen so poor that he could pay no
taxes; the only service which he was
supposed to render the state was pro
ducing children, ire made part of that
Roman rabble which Virgil had In
mind when he used the phrase "Igno
blle vulgus," vile herd, to describe the
common people. Latin literature al
ways speaks abusively of them, and no
doubt they deserved their bad name.
They were vicious, fickle, mercenary
and cruel. The few good emperors and
the many wicked ones were always
afraid of them. Nero made bonfires
of Christians to appease the rabble
after he had burned the city over their
heads. One main reason for the great
gladiatorial shows was to keep them
In good humor and free food was reg
ularly dealt out to them for the same
reason.
The modern word proletariat means
something very different from the Ro
man rabble which neither worked nor
received wages. In the early days of
the republic when slaves were few and
labor honorable the lowest class of the
citizens worked their own land exactly
like American farmers: but It was
always hard for them to keep out of
debt and the land gradually fell Into
the hands of the rich nobles. Rome
never was a manufacturing city, and
if It had been the labor would have
been done by slaves, as It was else
where Sn those days. Building, cleri
cal work, housework, teaching were
also done by slaves. The wage system
was not In use. Neither does prole
tariat mean "peasantry." The modern
European peasant is a man who tills
the soil. Sometimes he owns It. as In
France, sometimes he rents it as in
England; but he Is not a wage-earner.
The proletariat Is that part .of the
human race which lives by selling Its
labor. It has become numerous and
Important in consequence of the inven
tion of the steam engine, which Is the
most momentous event In human his
tory since the birth of Christ. The
steam engine concentrated the work
of supplying the world's -needs In a
few large cities... It gathered there
great numbers of people who live by
selling their labor to the owners of
steam and the machinery which It
drives. These owners are technically
called capitalists. A capitalist, to be
precise, is a man who buys labor in
the expectation -of making a profit out
of It- The more labor he buys and the
cheaper he gets it, the greater his
profits. Hence the lrreslstilbe tendency
of the capitalists Is to enlarge their
business, employ more hands and force
down wages. To this tendency there
are exceptions, but In the long run and
upon the whole It does and must
prevail.
When the proletariat ceases to sell
its labor It must perish, for it has
nothing else to live upon; but it does
not perish Instantaneously. It can
survive for a time, though In want
and misers', and meanwhile the capi
talist's machinery stands idle and the
stream of his profits ceases to flow.
By refusing to sell Its labor to the cap
italist the proletariat therefore always
Injures itself more or less, "but it In
jures the other party also and some
times so severely that he prefers to
raise wages or grant some other de
mand rather than suffer the threat
ened loss. This Js the scientific theory
of strikes. The refusal of a single
workman to sell his labor Is a matter
of no import to the capitalist, but
when a large number act together It Is
of vital consequence. Hence the con
stant effort of the capitalists is to pre
vent the proletariat from Uniting to
place their labor on the market or
withhold It, while the workmen strive
to act as a unit. If they could all act
together they would be irresistible In
everj' case simply by causing proflts
to cease and entirely without violence,
but hitherto their concert of action has
never been perfect.
Perfasps it never will be, but there Is
a atronr tendency toward solidarity
not sly Im. the preftetariat of each sep
arate century, but aloe between these
of different -eeentrks. There is a
grewjag perception among all those
who work for wages that their Inter
ests are identical in the main, and an
Increasing willingness to rnake com
mon cause against the capitalists. The
movement toward a universal organ
ization of labor Is only nascent as yet
In America, but In Europe It has gone
far. There bas already been some
thing like a -general etrlke In Russia
and now one Is threatened In France.
The people of France are said to be
terrified at the prospect and well they
may be. for. even without violence, few
things could be more dreadful. It
would mean the sudden deprivation of
water, food, light and fuel. Transpor
tation would cease. Newspapers could
not be Issued nor letters sent. The
telegraph and telephone would become
useless. The more complex our civili
zation the more ruinous would be a
general strike, for all our modern ap
pliances depend upon the willingness
of the proletariat to sell their labor.
Against the resolute common determi
nation of all laborer not to work force
would be useless. The only safeguard
of society against this danger, which
dally grows more definite, is to make
It to the advantage of the proletariat
to sell their labor rather than withhold
it. In other words, we must allow to
the worklngman a fair share of the
benefits of civilization. We must cease
to devise ways to exploit him and be
gin to study how to make him a con
tented and happy man.
DR. CRAPSEV.
"What entitles a man to act as a
Christian minister?" This Is the ques
tion which the court appointed to try
Dr. Algernon S. Crapsey must answer.
If belief In the historic creed of the
church Is a necessary qualification for
the , Christian ministry. Dr. CraDsev
ought to be silenced, for he denies near
ly every article. His opinion Is that
Jesus was born like other men of hu
man parents without any special Inter
position of supernatural power, nor
does he accept the belief "that his body
rose from the dead. It Is not denied
that Dr. Crapsey Is a good and useful
man, but It Is contended by his prose
cutors that the rejection of these
articles of faith unfits him for the pul
PU. If their contention Is correct, it fol
lows that the principal duty of a Chris
tian minister Is to teach the historic
creed. No matter how useful he mas
be In other ways, how helpful to his
fellow men. how salutary his ministra
tions to the lost and fallen, if he can
not inculcate these assertions as to the
parentage and resurrection of Jesus he
Is unfit to preach. It seems to make
no difference to the accusers of Dr.
Crapsey whether the creed which he
rejects is true or false. They have ex
cluded all the evidence which he of
fered upon that point. They appear to
hold that In the very words themselves
there Is some mystical, or magic virtue
which overwclgbs all other considera
tions and makes them of superemlnent
importance. What can this virtue be?
The fact. If It be a fact, that Jesus
was conceived by the Holy Ghost, is
without relation to the affairs of mod
em life. It is as abstract as Kant's
definition of the soul, which he says
Is the transcendental unity of apper
ception. Practical benefit or practical
Injury to mankind -from holding or re
jecting those articles of the creed there
Is none. There can be none. Nor does
the teaching of them give the church
Influence in the world, but rather the
contrary. It stimulates the opinion that
the church Is concerned with remote.
Impractical. Inconsequential affairs;
that It Is interested with empty words
rather than things: that It is out of
touch with life: that It is a decadent
Institution without purpose or vital
function In the active world of men.
Not only are these abstract assertions
destitute of moral Influence; not only
Is undue, emphasis upon them injurious
to the repute of the church as a living
force In the world, but there Is grave
doubt in the minds of unprejudiced
scholars whether they are true or not.
The evidence for them is of jhe slight
est. The story of the miraculous con
ception depends upon the word of a
single person who was not and could
not have been an eye-witness to the
event. That of the resurrection, as nar
rated In the gospels, is marred by con
tradictions to glaring and numerous
that It could not be received as cred
ible In any court.
To make the Inculcation of such stor
ies the principal mission of a great
institution like the church seems al
most childish. The Incongruity be
tween the vast paraphernalia of wealth
and Intellect employed and the object
to be attained Is so wide as to look
like mockery. Theoretically these
questions doubtless possess a certain
Interest; practically they are without
Importance. It Is hardly credible that
a grave, learned and "godly man will
be deprived of his opportunity for use
fulness because his opinions upon them
differ from those of some of his col
leagues. KEDERAL FELLOW-SERVANT' LAW.
Railway employes, after a strong
fight through their representatives In
Congress, have succeeded In securing
passage in the House of the employers
liability bill. If the bUl becomes a law
It will abolish the "fellow-servant" law
and enable the employe to recover
damages for injury when his employer
is grossly negligent.
The passage of this law is urged In
the Interest of the large army of rail
way employes In the United States, as
a measure which, by placing the
heaviest end of the liability upon rail
road companies, will lessen the casual
ties that result from various causes to
railway emploj-es each jear. The fellow-servant
law. In the estimation of
the public, at least, is the prime cause
of carelessness on the part of railway
management which has resulted In a
deplorable loss of human life. Repre
sentative Mann, of Illinois, speaking In
eupport of the bill said:
There -rere S31 railroad employe killed
last year and 13.2SO injured on tbe railroads
of the United State. The best way to pre
vent a recurrence of these fatalities and to
protect the trarell&s public from the danger
and delay Involved in these accidents Is to
male the railroad pay for the teepy e&staecr
who bas worked for 24 bear and by reason
of this overwork vu ssable to maintain tbe
decrre of alertness that the safety of bis train
constantly demand.
Tbe proposed bill does not, and
should not, make the railroad companies
-entirely responsible for accidents, but
divides the responsibility between the
employe and the' employing power, thus
giving the injured party a chance te
recover damages according to the meas
use of the responsibility of the. con
trolling power. This Is Jtt aad -its
reairement can )udly faM to lacrosse
the rigftiuftceof Xht power that dele
gates to auMuf skill aad endurance
the xectJ'r Its corn-Banes, to the
end that t the first may be carefully ap
proved and the last be not overstrained.
Proper regard for human safety and
for the protection ef the large property
Interests Involved has practically elimi
nated the drinking engineer from the
list of railway employes. Like Interests
demand the elimination of the over
worked engineer and the sleepy train
dispatcher. The process, byowhich the
latter reforms could be accoraolLshed Is
relatively easy. It simply means the
employment of men enough to do the
work.
AS THE WILD BEAST DIETH.
The days of Murderer Smith are
numbered. The deaths of too many
brave men are now on his head. No
more will man or posse call on him to
halt. He will be shot on sight, like
the wild beast whom he emulates. There
may be other sacrifice of lives of brave
men before they get him. for It Re
quires fearlessness in a high degree
to approach this reckless murderer, who
has nothing to lose but his miserable
life that he would put a heavy price
on. Officer Manlon. who Is dead, and
Sheriff Shaver and Captain Henderson,
who It must be TCgretted will die. met
their fate with face to the front: and
for that reason their successors just
as bravely will attack this outlaw once
they have him located. There will be
little of the vainglory of the Harry
Tracy episode; he feasted on notoriety
and nature favored him. Outlaw Smith
Is finding different men and circum
stances, and the circumstances are
helping the men. They will get him.
Senator Petto of Alabama is the
oldest man in public life In the United
States at the present time. He Is a
living refutation of the Osier Idea in
regard to the uselessness of men who
have passed the age of three-score
years, being now four-score and four
years old. He was 73 when he entered
the United States Senate; Is a veteran
of two wars, having come out of the
Mexican War a lieutenant and out of
the Civil War (In which he fought on
the side of the South) a brigadier gen
eral. Senator Pettus was born when
Monroe was President: he was a man
grown when Clay and Webster and
Calhoun were In the Senate, and was
9 years old when the great Webster
and Hayne debate took place. And
withal he Is "eighty-four years young."
is not garrulous, but speaks seldom and
to the point, and hopes to succeed him
self three years hence. His record Is
an exceptional one and shows not that
aged men should be preferred to young
men in National affairs, but that age
does not always handicap endeavor or
make its subject a useless cumberer of
the ground. Wdl-furnlshcd brains are
a passport to usefulness, even though
the hair that covers the head has been
thinned by the blasts of time and whit
ened by Its. snows.
The difficulties encountered by Mr.
William Ladd. in hSs effort to establish
a newspaper to work the plutocratic
schemes of the first families, entitle
him to commiseration. He has. In
deed, command of all the money there
Is in Portland, or Is supposed to have,
yet his little old tin cup bank is valued
on the assessment roll at only $100,000.
We should like to see him "give up"
for the deficits of bis newspaper more
cheerfully than he does hoping, how
ever, that the deficits will not break his
bank, poor as It Is on the assessment
roll. It is startling, however, to note
that twice as much money has been
sunk already In the newspaper as the
valuation of the bank. But that, of
course. Is "high finance."
The death of Mrs. O. M. Murray at
her home In this city on April 2S will
place the "fatal asterisk of death"
against the name of another honored
woman in the records of the Oregon
Pioneer Associatfon, and remove from
the ranks of the charitable and philan
thropic of Portland a woman whose
long life was fruitful of kind words and
good works. Mrs. Murray was 71 years
of age when the call came to her. Of
these years 43 had been spent In this
city and i in Oregon. A cheerful,
energetic woman, a genial companion,
a warmhearted friend, she will be
missed from the circle which narrows
sadly each year as one after another
drops from the ranks and is known no
more.
Up in Clackamas and Polk and other
counties and all over Old Tainhlll there
are weekly papers whose main filling is
made up by the country correspondent.
Every crossroads and every little post
office settlement has Its batch of Items
mostly personal or of a "personal"
nature, some one of which goes to the
heart of the boy or girl exiled down
here In the city, most likely about his
or her kin; and as he reads It and
furtively wipes away a tear, his
thoughts go back to the days of his
childhood when there was no place like
home. It will be a dreary world when
the country correspondent is CTbwded
out of It.
The Oregonlan does not believe that
general prosperity can ever be had
through laws that enable one man or
set of men to tax other men. So. If
"protection" makes sheep In a particu
lar locality sell for 36.18 a head. The
Oregonlan knows that somebody Is
forced to pay that price, or go without
sheep. ' AH the "protection" that one
individual set or class get, through law.
others must pay for. and The Oregonlan
does not conceive It to be the Just object
of government to force buyers to pay
high prices, that sellers may get high
prices. Salem Statesman please copy.
It Is easy to say. as his partisans say,
that "Chamberlain Js the best Governor
Oregon ever had." We shall not ques
tion or dispute. But this Is an expres
sion of Governor Chamberlain's admir
ers. Is he, then, as a Democrat, a bet
ter Governor than Whlteaker, Grover,
Thayer or Pennoyer? A better Gov
ernor than such Republicans as Glbbs,
Moody. Lord and Geer? Let us beware
of superlatives.
While we may all have had our opin
ions about San Francisco as It was,
we may now confess our unfeigned ad
miration for San Francisco people as
they are. ' v
Desperado Smith appears to have a
great desire to emulate Tracy; and he
Is doing- very welL He will have oc
casion soon to recall Tracy's Unlah.
It may not be too late for the oppon
ents of the North Bank Willamette
Vridge to Insist that it be earthquake
proof.
THE PRODIGAL SON.
The true greatness ef Jesus, who was
atfetakBerist. a wit and a master of satire,
as well as a great mural philosopher,
has been obscured by a thick fog of ec
clesiastical ml "conceptions. Kven his par
ables are for the most part misunder
stood, especially the famous one of the
prodigal son. which is usually Inter
preted as an encouragement to thriftless
ways and an oblique condemnation of
honest Industry, while It was meant air
an Ironical. comment upon parental weak,
ness and folly. Examine for a moment
the details of this masterpiece of satire.
A certain fanner had two sons, the elder,
quiet, steady and Industrious; the young
er, a rake. The elder had put in his time
educating himself, and afterward working
on the farm. The younger had been hav
ing fun in the saloons, the police courts
and elsewhere. The elder had been mak
ing money for his father, the younger had
been spending It. The elder was a com
fort to him, the younger a continual trou
ble. Although the parable does not say so
In plain words, there are good reasons
for believing that the father was weak
minded. In the first place, he loved the
younger son best, notwithstanding that
be was an absolute good-for-nothing, vi
cious and dissolute. In the second place
when his unworthy favorite asked him to
divide his property and give each son
half, he complied. It is an unwise act
for any man to dispossess himself of his
property before he dies. Such conduct in
variably leads to ingratitude and often to
crime; but in this case It was cxcesslvely
llly because the farmer knew exactly
how his younger son would net when he
received his share. How the division
was made Is not stated, but we Infer that
the elder son had saved up money enough
to buy out his brother's Interest In the
land and stock. He remained on the
farm, and the weak-minded father contin
ued to live with him. while the other boy
pocketed his money, without a word of
thanks to the old man. and act out to
see the world and have a good time. For
convenience let us call this younger son
Henry". ( Henry traveled until he came to
a city run on the wide-open plan, which
was just the sort of a city to please a
youth like him. and there he hung around
the dives until he had run through his
cash. Then he went out Into the country
and got a job with a farmer to feed hogs.
This man seems to have had a very fair
appreciation of Henry's character and
ability, for lie paid him nothing but his
board and fed him as he did his hogs.
The boy stood it for awhile. Then he
began to think of going back home to live
on the old man again. "My father's hired
hands have plenty to eat." he said to him
self, "and here am I living on husks
when I might just as well be loafing
around home with no work to do and
three square meals a day. I'll quit this
job right now and strike out for the old
man's."
Meantime William, the cider son. had
worked diligently on the farm, which now
belonged to hlra. saving his money, going
to church regularly with his wife and
sending his children to school. He must
have been very kind to his father also,
for the poor old fellow acted as If every
thing still belonged to him. and William
let him have his way. Mr. Joncs--the
father's name was. perhaps. Jones spent
most of his time In the grocery com
plaining to the neighbors how mean Wil
liam was. and telling them how sorry he
felt that Henry had not staid at home to
run the farm. He would have made twice
the money out of It that William did. said
Mr. Jones. Everybody winked, of course,
to hear him talk, for the neighbors were
on to Henry and his father, too. while
William was Noble Grand In the lodge,
and had already been mentioned in the
paper as a good man to send to the Leg
islature. If it could be made all right, with
the boss. When Mr. Jones was not in
the grocers abusing William he was
perched on a stump before the house
looking down the road for Henrj. He
knew the boj- would come back sooner
or later, and he knew also just what kind
of clothes he would have on. So. even
time he saw a hobo coming he would sa
to himself, "that must be Henry. and
final!, one day. It was Henry, ragged.,
dirty and drunk, exactly as his, father had
expected. He had begged a quarter a3 he
came through town and spent It In the
saloon.
Mr. Jones limped down the road to meet
him as fast as his rheumatism permitted
and as soon as he came within hearing he
began about William. "I never was so
glad of anything in my life as I am to
see you come back. Henry." said he. "The
farm Is going plumb to destruction, and
BUI don't give me half enough to eat. I
want you to take right hold and reform
things."
"The same old noodle." said Henry to
himself as he wiped a clean spot on his
neck for the old man to kiss. Mr. Jones
gave Henry the best suit of clothes In
the house It was William's Sunday suit
and ordered the hired man to kill the calf
William had been fattening to pay for his
wife's Easter hat. They sent to town for
a keg of beer and invited in the neighbors
and had a high old time to celebrate the
return of the Prodigal Son. While this
was going on William was at work in
the field. Toward dark as he came to the
house In his overalls and slouch hat he
heard the noise of the rejoicings and.
going In bj- the back door, he called his
father out to ask what was up. "Whoop
la." j-clled Mr. Jones. "Henry's come
home and we're going to make a night of
It. No more work on this farm: nothing
but nods and becks and wreathed smiles,
quips and cranks and wanton wiles from
this das henceforth and forever. What's
the use of work, anyhow?" "Why. fath
er." replied William, soberly. "I have
worked hard for you all my life, taken
good care of s'ou and never denied you
anything you asked for, and sou never
thought of making a party for me oven
on my birthday." The old man stared
at William In surprise. "You don't de
serve to have any fuss made over you,
Billy." he returned. "You're just a
steads, hardworking, decent boy. Tou
wouldn't know how to act at a party.
Go on out to the barn and do the chores
and don't spoil the fun by getting mad."
William did get mad. but for all that he
attended to the chores and. after eating
a cold boiled potato for his supper,
sneaked upstairs to bed. There was no
room In the house for a plain, honest
man that night.
The apparent lesson of this parable Is
that If you want to have a good time in
this world and the next one also, you
must be shiftless, improvident and vic
ious. There will be no joy over S'ou on
earth or In heaven unless you repent, and
In order to repent you must be a sinner.
Therefore, hurrah for sin. It Is evident,
however, that Jesus could have had no
Intention to teach such a lesson. The
parable is not to be taken llteralls. but
as a satire upon poor, foolish- human na
ture. The rejoicings of men and angels
ought to be over what Is of most value,
and. certainly a man of William's ts'pe Is
more valuable than one of Heniy's.
C. H. C.
Prince Whan's Spirit Parrot.
Detroit Journal.
Mln Tung Whan, the Corcan Prince
who killed himself as a protest against
the Japanese protectorate. lived in a
magnificent palace of his own. which
came down to him by hereditary right,
and was surrounded by an arms" of re
tainers, fighting men. slaves and women.
He had a table of beaten silver, crusted
with the most precious sapphires, and
his state dress was so heavy with gorge
ous Jewels that It took two men to lift
it over his head. He carried with him
on his travels a great white parrot, with
rose-colored lining on his wings. The par
rot's beak was perforated and on either
side was set with priceless sapphires.
The Ignorant natives believed that the
great white parrot was Mia Yung Whan's
fatalllar spirit, and that when he died
Mln Tung would die. too. When Mln
Tung Whan's body was found lying on
the purple cushions of his ' couch the
great white, parrot 0c-, screaming out
of the window and disappeared in the
palra trees.-
THE PESSIMIST
While the charitable- people of Oakland
arc dispensing gracious charity to the
sufferers of San Francisco. the business
interests are trying to get San Fran
cisco's wholesale trade awas from It.
Charlts la charity, but business la busi
ness. . "
When a married woman conceals her
age It Is not done with Intent to de
ceive her husband. She has In mind the
possibilities of widowhood.
To awaken one to a sense of his re
sponsibilities, there is nothing like a cold
bath on a frosts morning. .
A Japanese doctor named Hope
Is now at the end of his rope;
He'd no license to heal;
Now his patients will feel
How 'tis to be sick without dope.
"I have come." said Maxim Gorks.
"from below, from the very depths of life,
where there is naught but slum and slush.
I am the voice of that life the harsh
crs -of those who wallow In the mire."
"I have come from below." said Gork;
"It's worse than the worst In New York.
I'm the voice of that life.
Where there's nothing but strife.
I've come for your moncs. so fork."
Answers to Correspondents.
GWENDOLEN."! have just joined
the Women's Club, and have been asked
to read a paper. I have thought that a
carefulls prepared paper on the 'Inter
relation between an Extra-Cosmic Delt"
and His Creation would be vers inter
esting. What do you think?" That would
be vers good, but I should advise you to
prepare an address on the "Duties' of a
Mother to Her Neighbors' Children." or
perhaps. "Should the Mince Pie Be
Served Hot or Cold"?
LOUISA. No, dear friend, the "Tetrac
tss" of Pythagoras Is not a book on eti
quette. It Is a symbol well-known to
Masons of high degree.
a
WILLIE R. "I am 3 years old and I
go to Sunday school. Last Sunday
teacher told us to pras 'Bless ths little
lambs this night and make them meat for
the Kingdom of Heaven.' I do not think
that thes should kill the dear, little
lambs. Do you?" That is right. Willie.
Alwaj-s be a kind, good little bo and you
will never go to Heaven, where thes do
such things.
VOX POPULI. "In s'our opinion, it all
the politicians and candidates for office
should die at once, would our govern
ment disintegrate, and the people be pre-
clpltatcd into anarchy?" No; but the rest
of us would be pretty lonesome.
CONNECTICUT. "Is Vancouver on
Vancouver Island? What is the meaning
of the phrase 'Vancouver. Wash.?" Van
couver is on the mainland at the . terminus
of the Canadian Pacific Rallwas. It Is
known to the postpfflce authorities as
Vancouver. B. C. Vancouver, Wash.
"Wash." being a contraction for Washing
ton Is another city in an entirely dif
ferent locallts. It Is sometimes distin
guished from Vancouver. B. C by being
re-P-rod to as Vancouver. A. D. The
initials A. D. in. this connection arc an
abbreviation of "antiseptic dope." a sooth
ing beverage that has made Vancouver
famous. It is a wholesome remedy for
nervous prostration and super-abundant
physical energy. To Its non-toxic prop
erties may be attributed the unusual long
life of Vancouver's oldest citizens.
ANXIOUS INQUIRER. "Will you tell
me something about E. Plurlbus Unum?
He seems to be quite prominent, yet I
cannot find his name in the city directors-
Plurlbus Is not a man. He Is part
of our National motto, which means:
"One out of many." John D. Rockefeller
being the "one" and the American people
being the "mans." The motto Is often
seen in cbnnection with the phrase, "In
God We Trust." "We." in this case, also
meaning the American people. John, be
ing the "one," does not trust anybods.
He takes cold, hard cash for his.
CONSTANT READER. "A great deal
has been said lately about cities rising
Phoenlx-Hke from their 'ashes.' Balti
more rose Phocntx-llke from Its ashes.
Seattle rose Phoenix-llke from Its ashes.
Chicago rose Phocnlx-llke from Its ashca.
and now I read from a hundred different
sources that San Francisco will rise
Phoenlx-llko from some more ashes. To
decide a bet, will you kindly inform me
what Phoenix-llke means, and how it Is
doner "Phoenix-llke" has no reference
whatever to a prominent Insurance com
pany of Hartford: neither does it refer to
Phoenix. Ariz. It is a bird. According
to Plins. Herodotus. William Jennings
Bryan. Ananias and other romancers of
earl$- days, the Phoenix appeared .and ap
peared again at variously stated recur
ring periods at Hellopolls and prepared
for his demise and subsequent rebirth in
a very spectacular manner. Ills method
of accomplishing his astonishing feat va
ries In accordance with me capacity of
the 11 I mean the historian who records
the event. The most popular account,
and the one that Is generally accepted. Is
as follows: Tlfe Phoenix, each time that
be came to Heltopolls to do his great
trick of vanishing in the smoke and ris
ing again Seattle-like from his ashes, no
tified all the morning papers just where
he was going to pull it off. He then built
of himself a pyre of frankincense, mjrrh
or other odoriferous wood: provided him
self with an automobile buzzer, a set of
drs batteries and a can of deodorized
gasoline. In the morning he was all ready
for the conflagration, when the crowd
began to arrive. At the proper moment
he flapped his wings, and gave the offlcla'
yell of the Heliopolls High School:
"Phoenix! Phoenix!
Rah! Rah! Rah! .
I'm a warm bird, hot bird!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Watch me!
Zip! Boom! Ah!
He touched the button: disappeared
from view In a pillar of fire; and then, to
the great delight of the multitude and
the reporters there assembled, he reap
peared from his own charred and smok
ing embers, a new Phoenix, giving the
afternoon papers a chance to shout in
big red letters: "He has arisen Phoenix
llke from his ashes."
NUX VOMICA. "I have read that the
high handshake was originated bs the
King of England. It was explained that
he had a boll in his armpit, and could
not shake hands in the ordinary manner.
Is this truer It is partly true. The
high handshake was first shook by King
Edward, but the circumstances under
which it happened were these: His Maj
esty was seen, through an open window
in Buckingham Palace, at night, bidding
farewell to a noble Duke. The room, be
ing brilliantly lighted, was full of insects.
The peculiar movement, which has been
copied by American aristocracy, was due
to an attempt on the part of the King to
shake hands with the noble Duke and
brush a ntoth-mlller out of his imperial
whiskers at the same time.
M. B. WELLS.