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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 17, 1905)
0 THE SUNDAY OREGONIAX, PORTEND, SEPTEIUjBER 17, 1905. Catered at the Poetofflce at Portland. Or. a aecond.claas matter. SUBSCRIPTION' RATES. . INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. (Br Mail or Express.) Oally aad Sunday, per year .....(9.0B Dxilr and Sunday, six months......... COO Dally and Sunday, three months....... 2.53 Sally and Sunday, per month.. .83 Sally without Sunday, per year 7.60 Duly without Sunday, six months 3.00 Sally without .Sunday, three months.!. 1.83 Sally without Sunday. ter month...... .03 Sunday, per rear 2.00 Sunday six months... 1.25 Sunday, three months 05 BT CARRIER. Sally without Sunday, per week Sally, per week. Sunday Included THE WEEKLY OREOOKIAX. (Issued Every Thursday.) .13 -20 Weekly, per year 1.30 Weekly, six months .73 Weekly, three months...... .60 IICW TO REMIT Send postofflce money order, express order or personal check on jour local bank. Stamps, coin or currency at the sender's risk. EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE. The S. C Beckwlth Special AreBcy New Terk, rooms 43-30 Tribune buildlnr. Chl ctgo, rooms 310-312 Tribune building. KEPT OX SALE. Chicago Auditorium Annex. Postofflce Jfewa Co.. 178 Dearborn street. Dallas. Tex Globe News Depot. SCO Main street. Denver Julius Black. Hamilton U Kend rtck. ftM-ftl Seventeenth street; Pratt Book Store. 1214 Fifteenth street. Den Moines, la. Moses Jacobs, ' 309 Fifth reet. CSoldneld, Nev. F. Sandstrom; Guy Marsh. Kansait City. Mo. Rlcksecker Cigar Co., Ninth and IVulnuL. Ix Anpele Harry Drapkin; B. E. Amos. 614 Ww Seventh street; Dlllard Nowa Co. Minneapolis M. J. Kavanaugh, 30 South Tfclrtf Cleveland, O. James Pushavr. 307 Superior street. New York City L. Jones & Co., Actor Howse. Atlantic City, X. J. EM Taylor, 207 North llttnots ave. Oakland, Cal. W. II. Johnston, Fourteenth aattf Franklin streets. Ocden Goddard Sc Harrop and Meyers & Hart-op. D. L Beyle. Omaha Barkalow Bros.. 1012 Far nam; Marath Stationery Co., 1308 Farnam; "40 Hottlh 14th Sacramento, CaL Sacramento New Co., 45 K rtreet. .alt Lake Salt Lake News Co., 77 West Second utrret South; National News Arency. Yellowstone Park, IVyo. Canyon Hotel, Lake Hotel. Yellowstone Park Assn. Long Beach B. E. Amos. . San FraneUco J. K. Cooper & Co.. 740 Market Mret; GoMnmlth Bros.. 230 Sutter and MotpJ St Francis New Stand; L. E. Palar Hotel News Stand; F. W. Pitt 14S Market; Frank Soott. SO Ellis; N. Whatly Movable News Stand, corner Mar ket aad Kearney streets; Foster & Orear, Ferr News Stand. St. LoiiK. Mo. E. T. Jctt Book & News l omtwaj. K$ Olive street. Wafthlncrton. D. C Ebbltt House, Pennsyl vania avenue. PORTLAND. SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 17. A GREAT EVENT FOR OREGON. The meaning of Northern Pacific Groat Northern construction down the worth bank of the Columbia into Port land is that Oregon Is at last free from the Harriman thralldom. No event so Important to Portland and the state has happened Jn years. Two transcon tinental railroads seek a short and economical route Into Portland. One of them has long been here, indeed, but II has been operating under disadvan tages that have weakened Its efficiency and made its iitcrest in Portland and Oregon necessarily incidental and sub ordinate. Now it is sought to make Portland a bona tide terminus of two transcontinental railroad systems. That is In Itself a matter of the greatest mo ment to Portland ;but It Is not so impor tant as the fact that their action forever nxes the destiny of thelty as the chief wart of the entire Columbia basin. The first consequence of building the north -bank railroad must be that all tributary commerce will seek here its natural and inevitable depot. This means that the outlook of all Eastern "Washington and Northern Idaho will be down the Columbia River to Port land. It can be nowhere else. No one imagines that the Northern Pactftc and Great Northern seek Port land for any sentimental reason. All know better. They come because they want the business already here; be cause much traffic now existent can thus be more cheaply and satisfactorily handled; and because they desire to occupy and -develop a new field, long neglected and richly deserving of at tention through many jcars. No one thinks that the Northern Pacific de sires t abandon Tacoma, or that the Great Northern has ceased to be a pow erful patron of Seattle. But the time has long since passed when it paid any railroad t devote all Its energies, re urces a.nd influence to the advance ment of any one city. It never did pay; but the railroads were a long time finding it out. The Pacific Northwest Is no longer a rough, remote and un known territory, with a sparse popu lation, infant commerce and puny towns; but it is a great, prosperous and growing regjori, rich In agriculture, trade and manufactures, with splendid cities and an active and Industrious people. Traffic is in a large sense -where you find it; and. If you don't find it. -where you make it. The Northern Pacific has had a share of Oregon business; the Great Northern little or 3one; and because both -want more, and deserve It. They are coming to get it. But this Is not all, nor even the most significant part, of the story. The merit Portland has always urged for the water-level route down the Colum bia Is now formally acknowledged by the two transcontinental railroads which have heretofore, by their policy of lifting their traffic over the Cascade Mountains to Puget Sound, denied It. We do not expect, nor desire, that either railroad will abandon Its expen sive mountain route;. but it Is obvious that, for the Northern Pacific at least, all heavy traffic to Puget Sound Is to' be carried by the Columbia River Rail road. And, of course, all traffic for Oregon points will be carried down the river Instead of via Puget Sound. Fur ther, and even more Important, the Northern PaclflQ will undoubtedly carry to Portland a part perhaps the greater part of the Eastern Washington grain which it has heretofore insisted on transporting to Puget Spund. It will rrovide facilities here to do such business as can be done here more economically than on Puget Sound. We do not suppose, as already Intimated, that the large grain elevat ors at Tacoma wilt be abandoned; but other elevators will doubtless be erect-. ed here for the purpose of doing the business that seeks an outlet In Port land. If trade offers for the Orient, the Northern Pacific will doubtless carry It from here. The heavy purchases of water-front property by the railroad, and Its careful and systematic prepara tion to meet all transportation emer gencies, can have no other interpreta tion. The days of the Insufficient and Indifferent Schwerln steamship service are. It may be hoped, about to end. We have in the proposed north-bank railroad a most striking illustration of the historic Hill railroad policy. j. Mr. Hill is a traffic creator. If there Is "business to be had, he goes "for it; and if there is business to be developed, he develops IL He overlooks no prac tical opportunities; he Is deterred by no obstacles; he never wears out the public patience, and forfeits general confi dence and respect, by waiting until he fears some one else may build, and then bottling up a country by monopolizing rights of way so that nothing may be done until he gets ready to pull- the, cork, which may be. and probably will be, never. There is no dog-in-the-manger odium to be attached to Mr. Hill; no you-shan't-eat-hay-and-I-won't pol icy about him. He is not afraid of tres passing on the enemy's territory. The terms of the ancient divlslon-of-terrl-tory agreement between himself - and Mr. Harriman he regards evidently. in a Pickwickian sense. Having crossed the Rubicon of the Columbia into Port land, it may be hoped that the modern railroad Caesar will not stop until he has traversed all parts of Oregon. Who, or what. Is there to stop him? OLD BACHELORS. The subtle inter-relations between the prevalence of materialistic philosophy and the increase of old bachelors have never been adequately investigated by scientists. The subject is difficult and obscure, but it may safely be ventured that no man becomes an old bachelor because he is a materialist, and none a materialist because he Is an old bache lor. The relation between these two unblest predicaments is not of cause and effect, but rather that of both being the twin and Inseparable effects of some deeper common cause. What is, then, this common cause of materialism and old bachelorhood, thus wofully and In separably chained In wretched union. like a Roman convict to a dead body? We shall discern dimly by and by. but first let us distinguish. There are theoretical old bachelors and practical ones, just as there are theoretical and practical politicians; and as a man may be a church member In good standing and fancy himself on the road to heaven when In reality he has commit ted the unpardonable sin which dooms him to perdition, so one who has a wife and a dozen children-mav nnssofw nil those traits of soul and bodv which characterize the practical old bachelor. We detect and convict him by the looks and acts of that same wife and those unhappy children. From all eternity he was' predestined to celibacy, to lone devourings of food at a solitary table, to barbaric evenings at saloons and clubs, to an old age forlorn of grand children's babbling; but. like so many other predestined arrangements,, this one went awry and the old bachelor married the woman created for another man. The other manIn suchaase. be reft of his affinity, becomes a theoret ical old bachelor. Childless on earth, when he gets to heaven, as he always does, there Is an exception made to the rule of neither marrying nor giving In marriage; otherwise, how could all the odds be made even to him? But such cases are rare. For the most part the theory and practice of old bachelorhood coincide, and, while the exact definition of an old bachelor is "a man who never ought to marry," it generally comes to the same thintr as "'one who never does marry." He never marriefe because he loves himself bet ter than anything else In the world. He Is afraid to take a wife lest some of the fat packings from the garden of the earth which he covets for his own stomach should be diverted to another's. His Ideal, his Utopia. Is so to live that the net results of all his endeavors shall ...v. - i v. ai ma chuvb iuic Mian i flow down his own gullet. The thought of a wife angers him; her gowns, her bonnets, mean so much -abstracted from J the beautiful rotundity of his paunch. The idea of children maddens him. Must they not have shoes, scho'olbooks. toys? And every gingerbread monkey. every primer. Is robbery of the old bachelor's god, his stomach. The glory of the settlhg sun does not exist. for. him, nor the keen beauty of the eternal stars. As there Is no music for the deaf and no color for the blind. music and color being the matchless fabrics woven -within the soul out of tangled waves of air or ether, which for the blind and deaf Impinge on blank walls Instead of entering the ex quisitely wrought gateways of sense: so for the old bachelor there is no beauty In all the universe because to his soul there is but one gateway and that Is his mouth. Of the setting' sun he asks. Would It taste like a lobster? It oucht. since both are T-ed " Ani of iYia moon, "Has it the flavor of Roauefort cheese or- Llmburger?" He Imagines the stars to bei sort of oysters, phos phorescent from having been kept too long uneaten. Fame he desires because fame has a cash value which can be turned Into champagne and pates; but if fame meant hollow cheeks and wakeful nights, the scorn of his 'own generation and the slow heartbreak which Inevita bly befalls the suitor in the chancerr of time, whose case goes over to . far posterityand sometimes must await the ultimate Justice of God slttlnir In the court of last appeal If fame meant this. the old bachelor would cry "away with It," for he flouts posterity and he does not believe In God. If he had children he might look down the years and see his life returning to Its SDrincrtlme through perpetual cycles. For children are man's victory over death ahd his hold on eternity. He that has begotten sons and daughters has saved his life from annihilation. He sends it on. to new times and new worlds as it has come down to him. through what ad ventures dire, what moving accidents. from the' prime creative source. But the old bachelor's life dies with him. Selfish In this, as in all thlnc-s elsf faithless guardian of the Promethean flame, he lets It perish on the altar. He breaks the golden chain of everlastiog being and commits the crime of cosmic murder. What has oosterltv done fnr me, he asks, that 1 should, consider It? A father never thinks to ask this ques tion, for he himself is posterity and in the natlon-of tinhorn "time he will be a denizen. The old bachelor's hope Is llm Ited to the little circle of his life. Once he goes round the ring, and then, for all the ages of ages, he Is as If he had never been. He yields utterly to death IUhas been truly said that we create our gods In .our own image. The old bachelor, being all stomach, conceives the universe as one enormous paunch. and this he worships with inflexible devotion. Moreover, to him nothing exists except what goes to make stom achs or what they can digest; there fore In philosophy he Is a materialist Materialism and old bachelorhood, as we said before, are thus inherent to gether In one common nature; but if we ask whence this nature, comes, the only answer. Is that Jt is predestinated from all eternity as a vessel ' of wrath. Can, then, an old bachelor.be a Christian? We say not. He, may indue himself with , the earthly habllaments of Chris tianity, Its forms and ceremonials vain He may sing hymns' and endeavor prayers. But, In spite of all, he Is but a hollow stomach, a whltcd sepulcher of beefsteaks and pies. And, grievous as It Is-to say so, there seems little hope that he can go to heaven with the exempt heathen who are saved by prevailing grace In spite of their un belief. The presumption Is a fair one that In our rambles by the sea of glass and along the golden streets we shall meet no old. bachelors. In fact, how could they be there? It Is souls, not bodies, that go to heaven, and old bachelors have no souls. WHAT IS A HUSBAND FOR? . The Chicago 'woman who. In her de termination to make a success of mar riage, tried It six times and was at last forced to declare matrimony & failure, unwittingly gave the solution of her ill success in the declaration that she "could not love a homely man, no mat ter how good he was." The presumption is that she married six successive times a man to whom she was attracted solely by his "good looks." Her testimony as to the result of each of these ventures Is direct. "My husbands have all been alike in one particular; I have had to support all of them." Well, what of It? Was not each hus band a. "pretty man"? And was not this fact his chief recommendation to her favor? Did she expect a "pretty man," chosen because of the regularity of his features, his winning smile, his expressive eyes, his shapely hands, to descend xto the vulgar plane of labor? How unreasonable! She cot what she was looking 'for, ,and should have been content with- the first venture. Sun- port her, and perhaps get his hands begrimed' with toll. lose. In the nurstilt of pelf his genial expression of counte nance ami even gather crows' Teet about the corners of his eyes? Absurd! HOW BOYS AND GIRLS ARK LOST. The law that forbids minors to enter or loiter about saloons. Is one that, for the honor and decency of the city, should be rigidly enforced. It may be well to say, however, that Its enforce ment should not be left entirely to the police, nor yet to philanthropic soci eties. Parent have an obligation here that should not be ignored. Those girls who' transgress this law are said by Mrs. Baldwin, manager of the Trav elers' Aid Society in this city, to come mainly from the middle clttfs of fami lies in the suburbs. They visit dance halls In. groups of three or four sham protection for each other dance with strangers, and go out at Intervals, pre sumably for "refreshments." It passes comprehension that decent, orderly fathers and mothers permit their young daughters to go our In this way seeking "fun," themselves mean while going to bed and to sleep and taking no note of the time at which the girls come home. Girls exposed to temptations and forming associations of this caracter cannot be kept pure In body and mind by law. Police vigil ance, however active, can ill supply the lack of parental prudence In the management and control of boys and girls. , SURVIVAL OF THE UNFIT. We are hearing a. great deal nowa days about Crook County, Eastern Ore gon. Several of Its citizens are receiv ing much unpleasant notoriety. In the United States Court, for one reason or anuiiicr. fuuk uouniy is large enougn and varied enoueh In natural onnriitiAnc another. to be a state rather than a county, Think of a county with SS60 square miles, and nearly Ave and one-half mil lions of acres within Its boundaries. Its size Is partly responsible for the pe culiar characteristics of some of Its In habitants. It has enormous areas of semi-arid open plains and rolling hills. Water-courses and rivers are few and far between. Up to what may be called the pre-lrrlgatlon period the use of these wide stretches of sagebrush opens and scanty pastures was for the cow boy and his half-wild herds. From horizon to horizon they ranged. There was but one town, Prlnevllle. in the center of the county. It might have stood for an Oregon sample of Arizona's Wolfville, with the old cattleman, and Doc Peet, and old man Enrlght, for its city fathers. The cattlemen took their chances with the elements, and their cattle rustled as best they could through the snows and frosts of the occasional .wild Winters. Years passed and the sheepmen from the north pressed slowly but surely southward with their flocks. Between the flocks and the herds, and their owners and keepers, never-ending war broke out. Sometimes In open violence and deadly quarrel, sometimes In more civilized contentions for water-course, spring and pasture In one form or an other the contest dragged Its slow length on. To what extent -legal forms and pow ers of the courts Influenced this war fare in the Interest of one side or the otheir cowboy or sheepherder depend ed on the control of the county offices, particularly of that of Sheriff and Dis trict Attorney. So events fluctuated year after year. How deeply the need or ambition to "own vantage points of timber, ranch and feed penetrated the community may be discerned by all who read In or between the lines of evidence given in the" pending trials In the Federal Court." Meanwhile further changes were Im pending, orn course of evolution. It had been known for many years that irrigation was the only requisite to con vert agebrush flat and dust-strewn valley into the richest farming land. But Crook County had not the means nor the people to undertake canaliza tion of the waters of the Deschutes. and to lead them over the then barren spaces. Outside men of means were attracted to this' untried field for In vestment and development. This alone would not ha;e sufficed. The railroad was;an absolute requirement,. to bring, people In and take products out. The Columbia Southern was headed from Biggs, on the Columbia, south Into Crook County. The C&r'vanis & East ern had been surveyed east and west along the Irrigable region. With such rosy prospects In view irrigation enter prises were entered on with vigor. The stream of population began, to be di rected into this great country, even while three days' Journey Intervened between the end of the railroad and their promised homes. Thus a society far different from cowboy and sheepherder began to take rpot in this debatable land. Still an other factor came in. By trial after trial It was found that wheat and other grain would prosper on the sagebrush soli, even when Irrigation was yet afar off. Thus newcomers spread from val ley to vallej. and over the hillsides, wherever household water could be found. The day of the earlier people, the pastoral folk with cattle and sheep, was passing rapidly away. New men, new Ideas. Influences which might and did dominate under those earlier con ditions could not be overborne and de stroyed by a healthier growth of re spect for law,- order and good govern ment without the country's passing through a stage of opposing forces and unrest. But the end in .Crook County, as elsewhere In these United States, Is sure. Inevitable. Elements Inherent In those early stages may set themselves In array to hold offices, retain influence and power, which had been, theirs with out dispute. But their fight will be In vain. Crime, of whatever grade, will, no less In Crook County than elsewhere In Ore gon, meet Its retribution. Those who strive to uphold government good and pure will be supported by- forces far stronger than those of disorder and misrule. Similar struggles have often been, and will yet be, marked by violence on -both sides, when the sentimnet that the Republic Is in danger is animating the well-disposed citizen. Vigilantes In Cal ifornia, moonshiners In Crook County, are not needed now. What Is required is the courage to rely on the recognized agencies for law and order, and on the power of publicity, which is . a strong and terrible weapon against the evil doer. Battles fought at the ballot-box are more surely and permanently won than by rifle and revolver, or by other agencies of violence and crime. WASHINGTON GLADDEN. Dr. Washington Gladden Is a fighter, and the world loves him for It. Emer son said, "All the world loves a lover." and-perhaps It does; but there can be no doubt whntever that all the world loves a manly fighter, and Washington Gladden Is exactly that. He believes he Is right, and he will fight anywhere and everywhere for what he believes, at the drop of the hat. Odds make no difference to him. He was not scared to be. told that his minority In the' American Board was small, possibly a minority of one or two. His grit was equal to the dilemma. The surer he was to lose the worse he wanted to fight. "The whole board .Is against you." some of hls.4r'ends warned him before he sailed In. So they warned another Christian soldier long ago. "Little monk, little monk. God help thee now." But the littie monk made his speech all the same. "Here I stand. So"heln me God. I cannot yield." . Washington Gladden Is nor Luther, and what he faces is less fearful; but It takes courage to day to stand alone, just as' It did at the Diet of Worms. There Is nothing we dread so much as to be In a small mi nority. And yet minorities must be small before they can be large, and Luther's Is not the only case In history where a minority of one has become a majority In due. time. Washington Gladden's brand of cour age Is exactly what our times need in every department of public life. From the cowardice which does as .the crowd does and calls It right because It Is fashionable, few Americans are free. Our greatest man. valiant war rior as he is and strenuous champion of righteousness, has yielded to it. We ! give this cowardice pleasant names. We dub It "American good nature" when we submit to be bullied In trains ' and street-cars by the servants of cor- j Zfi , w, ! to the greed of these corporations than n "an!lf- " thTe Pf se"or thls "good nature" of ours. It has been ?ontentIon of AttorneyLong Is success- remarked by observers that the Eng lish are the freest people In the world because they are the most obstinate and cantankerous. A man or a cor poration that tries to .Impose upon an Englishman has a light on hand, while an American under the same circum stances would submit, laugh aiid pass It off. This trait has Its merits, of course, but It has defects also. Tt resembles the supine patience of the Asiatic more than It does that eternal vigilance which Is the price of liberty; and It Is cowardice, the dislike to stand put and kick up a row. which has made us submit little by little to the rule of cor ruption in cities and Infamous bosses in states. We have other names for it equally pleasanL Sometimes It Is "the charity which judges not." Sometimes it is "Christian meekness." But. what ever we call It, there Is nothing the corporations, the trusts, the bosses and the Rockefellers .love so much, and nothing by which they profit so richly. As a Nation we lack cantankerousness; and since that quality Is the salt pf public and private life, perhaps Its ab sence Is the reason why our polltlcs'and business have become so corrupt. Can tankerousness Is the salt of life, not the sugar. There should be enough of It, but not too much. A wise maxim asserts that people ad mire. most In. others the qualities th'ey lack themselves. Whether Americans want something of the qualities of the "dreadless angel" or .not whether we are quite as willing as we ought to be to stand alone; "unshaken, unreduced, unterrlfled," like Dr. Gladden, who would not " Swerve from truth, or.. change his constant mind. ' ThouRh tingle however this may be, there Is no de bating the point thaf-we ardently love determined grit when -aman has It to show. Note- howy the; .people of -Wisconsin have stood by.,La. Follette. the Mlssourlans by Folk, and' the whole Na tion by Roosevelt.--There Is fine en couragement in this aspect of current history for the young' man. or the old one. either, for that- matter, who as pires to go Into poll tips and win. or lose oa the square. If hecan convince the' people that be Is thereal thing that.his deeds will not belle 'his 'words; that he. can fight, and fight alone If he must, for his principles, then In the long run he will win. The nearer he comes to the absolute reality of manliness, the surer he "is to win. . It Is no answer .to this to say that .rascals have.beaten hohest men in poll- tics. The fact Is undeniable. It Is true now, and will be true always. But their being rascals Is not the cause of their 'success. Nobody Votes for any candldate because he Is a thief, but .be cause he has, or simulates, some traits of nobility. The honest man who loses In politics lacks always some quallty essentlal to leadership, for which his mere integrity does not compensate. Washington Gladden's stand before the American Board Is a lesson and an example to the people of this Nation. He Is a man from the ground up. His grit is grand. His courage noble. He may never win his cause, but what of that? He will have fought a beautiful fight for It. The Great Umpire, when ; the time comes to divide glory Among the Knights of his Kingdom, will never ask who has won or lost. There are defeats which gain more than victories for the welfare of men and for the kingdom of heaven. According to Census Bulletin No. 23, schoolteachers are the most numerous professional class In the country, ex ceeding the total number of physicians, lawyers and clergymen. In 1900 they numbered -145,133, a gain of 9S.7S0 over 1S30. Of these there were 327.614 fe males and 11S.519 males. In the cities males furnished only 7.6 per cent of the teaching force. Since 1S70 the propor tion qf teachers to school population has almost doubled. The number of teachers to every 10,000 persons of teachable age between 5 and 24 years was 140. This is higher than in an other country except England and Wales, where there are 175 preceptors to every 10.000 of school population. In Germany there are 109; In France. 10S; In Canada, 105, and In Mexico, only 22. The proportion of teachers to school population Is greatest on the Pacific Coast, where It Is 207 to every 10,000. New England comes next with 201. while In the South Atlantic States it Is lowest, with only 75. Senator Elkins. of West Virginia, chairman" of the committee on Inter state commerce. Is so well convinced that there will be legislation for the control, of railroad freight rates at the coming session of Congress that he is preparing a bill providing for Federal supervision to such an extent as he deems practicable. His central idea is to refer all rate disputes directly to the several Judges of the United States Circuit Courts, an appeal to He from the decision of any one of the nine Cir cuit Judges 'to the other eight, sitting as an appeal courtand subject to final review by the Supreme Court. As Sen ator Elkins Is a railroad man and has been successful in blocking rate legisla tion in the Senate, it may be as'sumed that his notion of the appeal Is that It would carry with It delay In the change of rates asked for'and decreed, and thus create a practical blockade. A living refutation of the census story that babies are scarce in Oregon was the grand display of babies at the Lewis and Clark Exposition ye3terday. Babies to the right, babies to the left, babies In front, babies all around plump, well-fed, well-dressed babies, every one of them attended by moth ers who scouted all thought of race sui cide and who were evidently on the most Intimate terms with the stork. Let us hear no more of the slander passed upon Oregon women by the cen sus. enumerators. There are plenty, of babies In the state handsome babies, too, and full of promise. The demon stration of this fact yesterday was worth all that the entire Exposition has cost. "Show me." said the Inquisi tive compiler of vital statistics when the birth-rate In Oregon was under con sideration. And genial Dan McAHen obligingly "showed him." Of course no saloonkeeper should be held accountable for violation of law by his bartender In selling liquor to minors. . Attorney Long raises a fine point when he invokes the constitution and a long line of precedents In fayor "c " ""rcu" " B'"'"-i'- "- r ioo- exacting ordinance to conduct his sa loon In accordance with law. It might - s nuor " t . nncinc ine man ,wn runa Jnt Is present or absent. That would j.ui, mtij. Herwiiier expeci io see mis sign over the entrance of all Portland saloons: "Proprietor out. AH minors welcome. The thirst of anybody under or over the age of 21 promptly as suaged by the bartender." Mayor Lane, of course, vetoed the new saloon and restaurant box ordi nance. He declined to fall In with the scheme of the "polld eleven," who. for : some reason, desire to kill off the pres ! ent efficient ordinance and to enact an j other that nobody understands and the courts may have to Interpret, If they can. Some say the new ordinance means one thing, others another. The Council doesn't know what It means, and apparently did not Intend that ans body else should know. If the ordi nance shall be passed over the Mayor's veto, all those personswwho think that the present movement Is In the Interest of the. more rigid enforcement of anti box legislation are likely to be' treated to a few surprises. Oh, for a real railroad man. like the "late Thomas J. Potter, for head of the Union Pacific a man whose theory was to create commerce and then hold It against all comers by serving that com merce! If news from this earth reaches up to another world, the shade .of Charles B. Wright will grieve when It learns that the Northern Pacific Is building down the Columbia to Portland. After a seventeen-year . struggle against Nature, two great railroads have -decided that It Is more profitable' to let a frelghv-car slide down hill than to haul It over a mountain. When the Presjdent get3 back to Washington, September 30, the City of Washington will give him an Informal reception. The whole United States will join .in the function. - - And no one Is -going to stop to in quire whether "tainted" money will pay for building a railroad down the north bank of the Columbia. v The Kaw River Is again maklng'trou ble. That seems to be the only function of the Kaw. Nobody Is going to ask Roosevelt to serve as peacemaker between- Hill, and Harriman; Possibly there Is room In Oregon for jiboth - Mr. Hill-and Mrl Harriman; " .OREGOfTOZONE . Satan Cracks a Joke. A man walked abroad one morning to enjoy the sunshine and to pluck a violet from the meadow, when he was accosted by Satan. "Who are you?" roared the latter. "I am a man." replied the other; "and who the devil are you?" "That's just who I am!" yelled Old Nick. Whereat the man looked puzzled and annoyed, but Satan grinned at his huge Joke. Didn't Appreciate Slang. "How do you like your- new boardlng hoyse?" Hobbs Inquired of Nobbs, who had changed his abode. "Oh. fairly well." returned Nobbs. "Pretty high-toned, place, ain't It?" "Yes; tho waiters do havo rather ex alted voices." "I mean there are lots of big-bugs there." "Well. I don't know." - rejoined Nobbs. dryly; "the cock-roache3 are about the Usual size, but perhaps the bedbugs are somewhat larger than the drdlnary. since I come to think of IU" "Oh, I meant that there was a sort of swell set there, old man." ventured Hobbs. In despair. "I can't say that thero Is." replied the dignified boarder. "The table set by. my landlady Is not calculated to make any body swell: rather the contrary, I should say." "You know what I mean, Nobbs.1" said Hobbs. In last resort. "I mean to say that the food and all that Is out of sight, don't you know." "Not quite so bad as that; we can see It with the aid of our glasses, but you are very nearly correct." Hobbs Is now taking lessons In English undented. He Was Golnr Abroad. "You won't see me here any more," said the waiter to the man who wanted his dinner served; "I'm going to Sorvla right away." "That's Just what I want you to. do," replied tho hungry man. j An Airy Nothing. "I have a notion to bring suit against the Pullman people," said Waggery. "For what reason?" asked Faggery. "Well, you remember when I went from Portland to Chicago last month?" "Yes." "Why. you see. the porter left the door of the sleeper open all night." "I see: but what has that got to do with your bringing suit?" Waggery drew himself up for the su preme effort of his life. In .his most Im posing tone ho replied: "Why, my dear sir, I caught a cold which may develop Into Pullman-airy con sumption." It's a Beautiful Day. "It's a beautiful day," I have heard you say In a listless, meaningless, sort of a way. As If you mumbled the words perforce As a matter of course. Look here!" If you mean It. Then why do you screen It? Why say a delightful thing, and just Muffle the- meaning, as though you must, Say something pleasant your sole inteii tloa To filng a sop to a social convention? ' '. "It's a beautiful day?" Well. I should say! The world Is gorgeous and glad and gay! Mile on mile Tho avenues smile With God's fresh sunshine! File on file Tho lamp-posts glimmer With a natural shimmer! The world's all right, and life's O. K.! It's a beautiful duy! I say. Let's share the beauties we talk about Not be grouchy and gruff. Why. there's beauty enough To make you say It with almost a shout! Let's talk with decision: ' " In tho line of my vision. As I glance down street and up and away, I can see this minute There aro beauties In It (This beautiful day!) To make one carol like a larke or a linnet If It isn't a beautiful day to you. Don't say so. then, as you pass along; But if it Is If the thing bo true Thon tell It to others good and stroag. With a lilt In yoar voice like a wedding song! I'm happy to meet you! How do you do? I'm pleased when I greet yon Now. aren't you? Ah. life is victorious! Just hear that 'blucjay! By George! but It's glorious It's a beautiful day! ROBERTUS LOVB. Lcttln'r Her Down Easy. New York Times. A young Virginia woman who recently moved to New York with her husband brought with her a typical colored serv ant. The lady was quite 111, and one morning after the physician had left the j-servant appeared, much concerned for the welfare of her mistress. Approaching the bedside she said: "Miss May, mah moth ah dun had a cousin whad had de same ailments what you dun got." "Is that so, Cora?" replied her em ployer. ' "Yessum." responded Cora, encouraged, "but mah mothah's cousin she died, 'deed she did." "Well, Cora," said her mistress, angry that she should tell her such a tale at such an Inopportune time, "If that's all you have to say to me you can leave the room and don't come In again. I don't wan to hear such stories. You haven't the sense-you were born with, and that was mighty little." Cora was thoroughly frightened at what she had done, and wished to ameliorate her Ill-chosen story.-so she thought for a moment, jmd turning to go, said: V Well, Miss May. .mah mothah tole me she died mighty easy." 3Iatter of Habit. LJpplncott's. Sir Walter Raleigh threw down- the cloak. , - "Very pretty." murmured Elizabeth ab sently.", "but; I'd like to -see the one on the top shelf." ; . Suddenly remembering that she wasn't shopping, she had to be content with what was shown. Her Daughter Speaks. (A daughter was borri to Mary Anderson the other day.) New York Mall and Express. Mary Anderson, my mamma, , Since we were first acquent Yoav always paid my board bill And settled for the rent As long as I have kno"wn you Both you and dear papa. -I'm always proud to call you f ; -wary Anuerson, my ma. ; NORWAY AND SWEDEN. (From a . declaration by the Norwegian Council of Women. In 1S14 Frederick VI of Denmark: and Norway was compelled to agree-to cede Ndpway tothe Swedish King, as compensation for the loss of Finland by Sweden to Russtat. Marshal Berna Jotte. one-of Napoleon's Generals, who had- left the falling house, was elected successor to the Swedish throne under the name of Karl Johan. At the news of the cession df their country Norwegians rose as one man. refusing to be bound by the treaty of KIol, and claiming- their rights as a free and independent nation. They did not dispute Frederick's vlght to abdi cate as Norwegian King, but, as ne had so done, the union with Denmark was dissolved. The state of affairs was for them desperate. There had been repeated wars with the Swedes, and Norwegian harbors had been blockaded by the belligerent powers. Harvests had been bad for several years In suc cession, the nation was Impoverished and the treasury was empty. Not crushed by misfortune, the nation's spirit hardejiejJ and when need 'was greatest salvation appeared. A national assembly was called 'at Eidsvold. add u new constitution modqrn and demo cratic was adopted. They chose for King a Danish Prince, Christian Fred erick. I.i the Summer of 1814 the commis sioners of the powers went to Norway, with the treaty of Kiel In their hands. But thoy found a sovereign state. Its King at Us head, and a people ready to defend their liberty to the utmost. They tried to induce Karl Johan of Sweden, to recognize voluntarily Nor way's self-government and to nego tiate on that basis. This proposal was rejected. jnd Swedish troops. Karl Johan at their head. Invaded Norway. After a few fights he proposed an arm istice, and negotiations. The treaty of Kiel was set quite aside and an agree ment come to. In which Karl Johan recognized the Nqrweglan constitu tion. The. Norweglnn Storthing met. and determined that Norway should be united with Sweden as an Independent kingdom, and should retain her own constitution, only altered in such points as the .union made needful. Christian Frederick of Denmark had already placed his crown In the hands of the people. On November 4, 1814. the Storthing elected Karl XIII, King of Sweden, to be King of Norway too. Thus two free and independent na tions were united on equal terms. The two countries were each to be-' ruled separately, only with a common King und fellowship In war. For the rest Norwegians were to have their own laws and institutions, their own army and fleet, their own exchequer, their own customs and their own flag. Tne resolutions on these points were en tered the following year In the "act of union," (RIgsakten) binding for both countries, and accepted by the na tional assemblies of both. In this act of union the equality of the two states is plainly asserted. During the 90 years of this union there has been continual friction, inde pendence and equality have not been recognized by tho larger nation. Time after time Norway has had to defend her rights when Sweden endoax'ored to obtain supremacy. In section 22 of the constitution Am bassadors and Consuls are enumerated among Norwegian officials. It being thus taken for . granted that Norway was to have her own separate repre sentatives abroad, appointed by the King in Norwegian council. The Swed ish deputies proposed omission- qf Am bassadors and Consuls as Norwegian officials, but the Storthing insisted on and carried the insertion of the clause In the act of union as It stood In the constitution. In a paragraph of the act of union, identical with the Norwegian consti tution In this respect, it is said that the King shall have the right to collect troops, to begin war and to conclude peace, to send out and to receive Am bassadors. The act of union contains no general regulation for the manage ment of foreign nffulrs, which were regarded as more particularly coming under the personal domain of the King. As a fact, however, the King- did en trust the management to the Swedish Minister for foreign affairs. The Am bassadors already appointed for Swe den assumed control of Norway's di plomatic connections abroad as "Swed-ish-Nqrwelghin" Ambassadors, anj with regard to Consuls the case was similar. Norway at once opposed this ar rangement and has held that attitude throughout the century. She has felt what It was" to have no share In the management of foreign affairs, even when those affairs concerned herself only. Matters became still worse In 1)SSJ. The Swedish Parliament, (Rigs dag), without negotiation with Norway, made some alterations In her consti tution by which the preparation also, of diplomatic mutters, was placed In the hands of the Swedish Minister of Foreign Affairs. He was so made re sponsible to the Swedish Parliament for diplomatic matters, while no men tion ws made of responsibility t.o the Norwegian Storthing. Meanwhile the Consular question assumed special Im portance. The demand Is for separate Norwegian Consuls. Norwegian and Swedish shipping and commerce are In no sense Identical Indeed the two countries are frequently rivals In these matters. Norwegian Interests abroad demand Norwegian management. Tne constitution establishes the right, and all publicists admit it. After renewed, but fruitless, discussion with Sweden the Storthing resolved on June 7, 1895. once more to try negotiation.NA com mittee of seven Norwegians and seven Swedish members met, negotiated, failed to agree and was dissolved. In 1902 a proposal came from Sweden for a Joint committee to settle the ques tion of separate Consuls for the two Kingdoms, without reference of the larger topic of forefgn affairs general ly. A Consular committee was formed, met, reported, and then the two gov ernments deliberated and agreed on a basis of negotiations. This in March. .1903. In May. 1903, the Norwegian gov ernment sent to the Swedish a Jraft of tneir proposal. The answer was long in coming, but, when it came, dis closed that under It Norwegian Con suls were to be placed under Swedish authority. Other new regulations ap peared which, if adopted, the Norwe gian Prime Minister said, would place the seal of dependency on Norway. These paragraphs being- adhered to 'by Sweden tne Norwegian government broke off the" negotiations. Then Nor way determined to take the matter Into her. own hands. A special Storthing committee prepared a report and draft of proposed laws. On May 18. 1903, the mptlon to, adopt passed the Odelstfhlng. on May 22 the Lagthlng. (the two divi sions of tne Storthing) and so, unani mously, was sent to the King for his sanction. On May 2.7, the Norwegian Klnff re fused that sanction. The government thereon requested their dismissal. The King refused to accept" their resigna tion, as he could form no new- minis try. On June 7 the government re Blgnedi But by the constitution the King cannot govern without his re sponsible council. The Storthing, there fore, by- unanimous vote, authorized the retiring Ministry to exercise royal au- thority. In accordance with the con j stitution.. this being a declaration that t'the tihlon'had ceased to exist'.