THE SU25DAY OKEGONIA, PORTLAro, NOVEMBER 15, 1903.
33
THE PALATIAL
0HEG0H BU1LDIN
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THERE -were a dozen of us at the
Gabsters that night, and the talk
turned on dramatic criticism. The
Gabsters Is a well-known club in a cer
tain circle, and constitutes Itself a sort
of court of last resort In the settlement
of momentous questions. It doesn't make
much difference what the subject under
discussion is, tho actle group at the
Gabsters usually settle it with a finality
which Is the equivalent of the grave.
Outsiders may not always agree to our
.conclusions, but we do, and that is
enough for us, and no Gabster In good
standing, once a subject is definitely set
tled, will ever again allow It to be re
opened, save ia the sacred precincts of
the club Itself.
"Dramatic criticism nowadays," said
Jim Hicks, the humorist, the, most genial
of Gabsters and good fellows generally,
"is perfectly rotten. Fact Is nobody
knows anything about "the stage now
adays but myself"
"Oh, nonsense, Jim!" put in BIHIe Scrib
ble. "The dramatic critism market Is the
best in the world. AH a man needs is a
pen, a pad, and an orchestra chair, and
he can give you dramatic criticism that
will make your hair curl, and he can sell
It in a minute if it's only clever."
"Don't doubt that," retorted Hicks.
"But is it any good? Does it help any
body, public, star, manager, anybody at
all? I say no."
"Jim's right," said Ex-Cathedra Tom
llnson, as we called him, because of a
certain little manner of authority that he
always affects. "The only dramatic
critic that's worth a cuss these days Is
the gallery god. He knows what's good
and what isn't. You can't fool him with
your fads and your follies, and the thing
that he doesn't like doesn't go."
And so the discussion ran until about
11 o'clock, when the consensus of opinion
' was that while modern, dramatic criti
cism Is in the main pretty fair reading,
either full of scholarly qualities or bril
liantly touched with epigram, It was not
especially uplifting, and that the only in
dividual in sight who could really be said
to know his business In the matter of
the theater was the whistling, peanut
eating original who graces the family cir
cle directly under the roof. He at least
is not afraid of his opinions, and in
dulges in no diplomatic indirection of
speech when the opportunity comes to
express them.
At 11 o'clock, this question having been
settled, I started for home, and as I
passed a certain theater its audience was
Just coming out. Among the surging
crowd was a small shock-headed gamin.
clad chiefly in -freckles and half a pair 1
of suspenders, who was expatiating vig
orously upon what he had seen, and my
mind at once reverted to the councils of
the evening.
"Here's a chance to see hojv -much
there is in that theory of Ex-Cathedra
Tomllnson's," thought L "I'll tackle this
young god and see what he has to say."
So I addressed him.
"Hello, Mike," said L "Hungry?"
"Sure," said he. "Always before, be
tween an' durin meals."
"Well, you come up to Stanley's with
me and I'll blow you to anything you
want if you'll tell me what you think of
the stage of today," said I. "I'll let you
do the ordering."
The lad's eyss grew big with astonish
znent. "What's yer lay?" he demanded. '"Just
trym' to gimme de gaff?"
"No," I replied. "This offer is honest.
Tou can have everything on the bill of
fare, from broiled lobster to quail on
toast
"An all I gotter do's t' talk about de
Hstolge? he persisted, a grin beginning to
spread over his features.
"That's the proposition, Mike," said I.
It's ilka picking up terrapin in the
street."
"Well, I'm your huckleberry, If dat's
all dere is to It only mo name ain't
Mike; it's Chames," he said.
"Whereupon we proceeded to Stanley's,
where "Chames" ordered profusely of
HEROISM OF THE UGLY DEVIL
A Hough Rider Monograph.
OUR outfit was at San Antone when
the rookies came and K Troop got
a recruit. In appearance he was 30
and repulsive, so when he grew violent
tho next week from Texas whisky and
tried to kill the Corporal, the men said
he was an ugly devil, and though he was
"Walsh on the rolls, no one remembered it,
the cognomen seemed to fit and he was
the Ugly Devil to the end. The Arizona
lawyer said he was mongrel without de
scent, sired by vice and dammed by in
iquity, and on such high authority his
pedigree was accepted. There was a
memory of New York's East Side in his
profanity, and he ate like a free lunch
fiend. His face was a Jungle of sandy
hairs, and from much chewing of plug to
bacco an umber sediment had settled Into
the grotesque wrinkles around his mouth
like silt from a sewer, while his fingers
were tawny from cigarette smoking.
The more esthetic, who took to water,
avoided him and the unwashed cut his so
ciety on general principles. Only the The
ologian, who probed for "his soul, and
the Cartoonist, who delighted In him as
a study In filth, "tolerated him. Even the
Cherokee half-breed lost caste In the troop
by dealing an occasional hand of stud
poker to him. His voice was keyed to gut
terajs and his vocabulary was of
monosyllables and grunts. His nearest
approach to humor was when.in derision
of the sissy who carried his sweetheart's
picture in his watch case, he cut the head
of a crack pugilist out of a pink sRort
ing paper and pasted it Into his German
Bllver timepiece, while for pathos, nature
had substituted a keen appreciation of
the obscene. He sat his horse like a
tramp and hts dumb-brute density gave
the top Sargeant an excuse to profane
his Maker. Invariably he "beat" fatigue
and at the guard tent was a star lodger.
I may overlook some other trifling ec
centricities, but in the main this was the
Ugly Devil as he came under my ob
servation durlnjr those hot, waiting days
of May.
With the coming of o'rders the monotony
of camp gave way to the frantic confu
sion which attends amateur war, but we
got to Tampa somehow and aboard the
transport. By an unexplained oversight
the Devil was sober when we steamed
down the bay, and he seemed chagrined
and apologetic as a consequence. Ho
did one tour of guard duty on the way
over which led us to the violent oresump
Jlon that at last he had taken a brace.
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ViH'ALLIGOnffi
D0'5 T TALK C
,2?ylAPOUTDElbl(gFk A . Xw-ftb iff
ABOUT DE SlDlGEnE;
,lk; -,
lobster salad, corned beef and mashed
potatoes. Ice cream and I regret to say
beer. The Interview.
"De stolge ain't what it used to been,"
he observed, shaking a great deal of pow
dered sugar upon a small bit of bread
and stowing it safely away in the cav
ernous recesses of his mouth. "Dey's bin
monkeyin too much wit der drammer fer
de past five years, an' as fer me, 1'se
getun Kinder aown on de whole ontflf.
Ye can't b'lieve de bill boards never no
more. Dere s no stunts dat makes yer
trow yer hat up in de air nowdays. Fer
nuttin doin' give me de teayter."
"Is It not strenuous enough for you?" I
Inquired. "That If?"
"Oh, de whole ting's on de "Willleboy,"
said Chames. "Dere's nuttin' to make yer
want ter git up an' pull down do house,
an honest I ain't had a chance to whistle
wit me two pinkies for six monts. De vil
lains dey has now ain't much more'n
bunco-steerers doln delr stunts on de
quiet, so's 3er can't tell "em from de
heroe's. Dey woyks on polper. Instead 'er
going out Into de -violia an swattln delr
way tru' to delr wicked polpose. An
when dey comes to die in de last act, or
kind o' got put out o de game, it's all
done like dey fought dey was llvln in
a Sunday school. I ain't seen a villain
go over de Niagara Falls, or tumble Into
de sewer, or have a sawmill cut him In
two for years. One feller up in the Har
lem Opera-House took a dose o' medicine
on de stolge last Winter an' died of it
while de coyten was goin down, but.
hully chee, dere's no fun in dat. It's
reg-lar on de blink fer quiet. Dey goes
off like as if dey, tought if dey died
louder dey'd wake up de baby.
"In de good old days when a feller died,
did he do It slttin' up in a chair an' den
sliding' down on to de floor, wit no more
life about it dan a bolster? I guess nit.
He did it all over de stolge. Dere was a
hustle on Mm. Deaf wasn't no toln-over-
While the others loafed on the dock, shot
craps and swapped lies, he sat on his feet
and polished his Krag until for the first
time It passed inspection, the while cuss
ing heat and flies with such a generous
show of enthusiasm that we felt drawn
toward the new side which he thus pre
sented. At Baiqulri.- where we landed,
he fell from this high pinnacle of recti
tude, however, by waj of the Major's jug,
which he stole In the night, and while
we were shooting at Guaslmas he ias m
the rear with the sow-belly and haid tack,
dreaming sweet dreams of peace which
come from contentment and Jamaica
rum.
A week followed our initiation Into
war. There were seven craves by the
roadside where none had been before. The
Jug was empty and a brigade with the
blear-eyed reinforcement of one man was
crowding and pushing Its way along the
Kettle Hill trail while the little fellows on
the yellow hill were weaving a mesh of
Mausers over our heads. We finally got
out into the chapparal "as skirmishers."
worked our way to a play-ground below
the trenches and dropped on our bellies in
the grass. The line grew impatient. We
were owing for the men in the graves and
desired to liquidate. A man on my left
"kicked" audibly at the delay. I knew
the voice, there was but one such In the
troop. Some rifles begun popping at noth
ing, and the Lieutenant yelled: "Wait for
the bugle!" That touched off tho whole
front. There was a volley an! then the
man on my left broke for the hill. The
growl I had heard a moment beforo came
back to us intoned to the insanity of
battle: "Damn the bugle. Let's go after
'em."
Since then historians have called it a
charge. Anyhow, we fired and ran and
fired and ran again, and the nearest man
to the Colonel was the Ugly Devil, stumb
ling and 'shooting, but always In the
lead. How we got to the top I couldn't
say. Those who were not there have
told that, but the enemy was half way
down the other side and making for the
city when we hollered and waved the col
ors. "How many 'd 'spose we're shy?"
asked a fellow In G, when we got our
wind. "Dam if I know. Some I reckon."
The Red Cross people came upon a
sprawling figure half way up the slope.
It was breathing noisily and strangling
in Its own blood. They tried to lift it,
but the distorted lips and choking throat
entered a last gurgling protest: "Aw, lem
me 'lone, will yu. I'm up against it. See?"
And in this day they call such men heroes.
ARTHUR A. GREENE.
When Joe Jefferson Retired.
Chicago Tribune.
Joseph Jefferson, the actor, Is very
sensitive on the subject of his retirement j
an'-go-to-sleep Willie business. It was de
real ting, wit somepin doln 's long as de
feller's wind didn't give out, and even den
he was up against it so hard he panted
like he was alife for some minutes after
de rattle. Dat's de kind of deaf dafs
wort lookln at deaf wit some action to
It; somepin dat breaks winders and pulls
down de tiric-a-brack. and sort o makes
de scenery wobble. Chickens dies hettor
dan most o dem easy "Wlllleboys dat '
passes for villains de? days."
"There Is a good deal of truth In what
you say, Chames," said I. "but after all
the style of decease jou speak of lacked
subtlety."
"Dafs a stranger to me woyd box, dat
subtlety," said Chames, "an I ain't wise
to yer game when yer uses It, but all de
same dere ain't no life about de deafs
dey die on de stolge dese days, an' deys
not no fun watchln 'cm. Den dese mod
ern actor fellers Is wholly lackln' In goy
gle. Dere ain't a man bn de stolge to
day what kin goygle." ,
This was a poser. I have heard of an
actor having e&pleglerie, verve, snap,
oven technique, but goygle was as far
from my "woyd box" as subtlety was
from Chames.
"1 am afraid you have me there, my
dear Chames," said I, as I indorsed his
application for a plate of ham and eggs.
"What do you mean by goygle?"
"Chee!" he ejaculated, looking at me
In undisguised wonder. "Has youse been
doln' de. teayters of dls town for many
years an' not never hoyd of a goygle?
It's sompln de real actor feller has doVn
In his troat dat makes his woyds rattle.
Me fadder uster say dat a feller named
McCullough hat It wofs dat? Naw! Not
de cop, but de trachedlan. When he was
up aganist de stone wall, me fadder said
he'd fill his troat up wit pebbles an' holler j
out his Shlkespeare like as if it was wrote
In a quarry. I hoyd ja feller on de Bowery
In de 'Millionaire's Daughter toyn de
trick once I don't happen to tlnk of his
from the stage. He has been before the
footlights since a small child, and he has
never shown any desire to leave tho stage.
The interviewer who puts the question
of farewell to him gets a rather sharp
but pleasant reply, but a reporter In the
South recently got the best of him. The
actor came downstnirs at the hotel and
was much disturbed to find a long but
mysteriously worded article in which the
word retired was closely connected with
his name. He knew the managing editor
and made a half-hearted complaint. The
reporter was cabled In and asked where he
got the story.
"The city editor told mo to see Mr.
Jefferson," said the young man, "and
ask him If he was going to retire."
"Well, did you see him?" said the edi
tor. "No, sir," said the reporter. "I sent
up my card to his room and It was sent
back with this written on It:
" 'Mr. Jefferson has retired.' "
And then the actor who sleeps 20 years
In every performance took the reporter
out and "bought him a ?3 hat.
The Song of the Tree.
Warm In the deep of the prison of Bleep,
I lar In the womb of the Earth.
Till the Spirit of God in the"stinglins sod
Aroused my spirit to birth.
Then fed by the dew and the sun I grew
From sapling-hood to a Tree,
As tall and elate, as strong and as straight.
As ever a Tree should be.
Now, robed ina sheen of shimmering green.
Bathed in the sunrise red.
My branches glisten, my little leaves listen
For secrets that never wore said;
Though the sunshine glint, and the west
wind hint. t
And tho raindrops murmur, I ween
Man neer shall learn, nor a Tree discern.
The ultimate thing they mean.
Or stripped to the chill ofthe north windVs
will,
I stand In my strong bare bones;
I dance with the blast, as maddening past.
The tempest in anguish moans.
With strife and song my spirit grows
strong t
In the law of my being rgrow.
Till the lightning smite, or tho wind in its
might.
The growth of the years overthrow.
And when long I have lain in the sun and
the rain.
And the creeping things grow bolder.
And Earth, my mother, makes Dust my
brother.
As Into theground I molder.
Then out of my death shall arise the breath
Of flowers of rainbow hues
So, welcome my life, with its growth and
Its strife.
Then Death be the Life I choose!
Edna Klngsley Wallace, in the Critic.
The authorities of the Iowa State Uni
versity have declared a boycott against
boarding-houses which refuse to conform
to certain regulations promulgated by the
dean of the woman's department.
IS si J LiJiHIt 4'MN-
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r F h 11 . iim ijggPft 1 ibeeS " j , x
VWt-S' SB W' "5 ,1 I.fvfc. iBLV if 2 -iIb
name, but de effect was well, say, did
y'ever hear ten feet of water trj'In' to
climb Into a two-Inch lengf o lead
polpe?"
"Ah I see. Chames," said I. "You
mean gurgle."
"Dafs what I said," said Chames.
"Goygle go-l-g-1. Dey's none of It on de
modern stoige. Y' don't feel as If de voices
of dem Mammydooks dafs winnln out wit
de goils dese days Is talkin' down In de
cellar but up on de chimney. Dere's
nuttin movln 'bout dese slcylignt voices
we's gettin every night from dese stars.
What de stolge needs is a lung or two. Dat
feller Mansfield does it every other Thoys-
day. but some of us can't tret to d teavtnr
except on Fridays. Honest, now, Mister
Man, I been to see every show In de town
for ten years an' dere ain't a voice In de
whole push dat could lift a two-pound
dumb-bell, much less de roof. Dere's no
COMPARED WITH THE DESERT OF SAHARA
An Eastern Paper's Estimate of Oregon in 1844 sr Interesting Reading.
OLLOWING Is part of an article
copied Into the Northern Advocate
of March 21, 1S14, with the publisher's
indorsement, from the Louisville Journal.
Oregon was then claimed by the United
States, but not yet awarded through the
treaty defining the northwestern boundary'
line.
'Every nation Is addicted to some par-
tlcular vice. The most characteristic vice
of our nation Is an Insane rage for terri
torial acquisitions. We have more land
than wo can use, and yet, like a miser
with overgrown coffers, we fret that we
have not enough. Our avaricious eyes are
by turns directed to Canada, to Texas
and to Oregon. One fever is scarcely
abated before we are afflicted with an
other. What is to be the result of this
disease the wisdom of Heaven can alone
foretell. . . .
"What there Is in the territory of Ore
gon to tempt our National cupidity no
one can tell. Of all the countries on the
face of this earth it is one of the least
favored of Heaven. It is the mere rid
dllngs of creation. It Is almost aa barren
as the desert of Africa and quite as un
healthy as the Champagna of Italy. To
leave the fertile and salubrious lands on
this side of the Rocky Mountains, and to
go beyond their snowy summits a thou
sand miles, to be exiled from law and so
ciety, and to endeavor to extort food from
tho unwilling sand heaps that are there
called earth. Is .the maddest enterprise
that ever deluded foolish man. We would
not be subjected to the Innumerable tor
tures of a Journey to Oregon for all the
soil that its aa'age hunters ever wan
dered over. The journey thither, from
all accounts. Is horrible enough, but it Is
paradlsean when contrasted with the
wasting miseries which beset the wretch
ed emigrant when he has reached the
point where he fancied his unutterable
woes were to cease, but where he finds
they are to bo Increased beyond all en
durance. . .
"We have already intimated that the
Journey to the Columbia River from this
country Is attended with, starvation and a
thousand other felicities. If the emigrant
Is so lucky to escape the pangs of fam
ine and the bullets of the Comanches on
this side of the Rocky Mountains, he may
perhaps survive the long and tedious as
cent of the mountains. When he surr
mounts the summit and begins the down
ward journey, the land of promise, the
delectable Canaan, the .land flowing with
milk and honey, spreads out illimitable
beforo him. And a most ravishing pros
pect it is! There Is not a tree to limit
the reach of his lmparadised vision. His
enchanted eye wanders in ecstasy
rumble to 'em. Dere Isn't a man In sight
Tvlf a yolce like a f understorm "
"Edwin Forrest's day has passed, I pre
sume you mean." I Interrupted, resolved
to say a good word for the actor who was
actually the first in my experience. "He
was not only a great tragedian, but a past
master In the thunderous voice."
Faust From the Gallery.
"Me fadder tolt me about him," said
Chames. "He said his fadder had tolt him
dat dat feller had de goygle all right, an'
what's more,, useter chuck de villains of
de play over into de band wagon. Oh, for
dem days, when dere was somepin doln'!"
Here Chames sighed, and to cover up his
sorrow over the departure of the good old
days ordered an oyster stew, with a cou
ple of chocolate eclalres on the side.
"How about the modern play, Chames?"
I asked. "A man of your experience must
over piles of volcanic rocks and
sandstones, interspersed with oases
of wild wormwood and prickly
pear ad libitum. Nothing else can
be seen to the right or left or in front.
This Is the first glimpse the happy emi
grant gets of the blissful Oregon. . . .
"A1 the writers and travelers agree In
representing Oregon as a vast extent of
mountains, anu valleys or sana uoneu
over with green and cultivable spots.
Now, that such a wretched territory
should excite the hopes and cupidity of
citizens of the United States. Inducing
them to leave comfortable homes for Its
heaps of sand, is Indeed passing strange.
Russia has her Siberia, and England has
her Botany Bay; and If the United States
sjiould ever need a country to which to
banish Its rogues and scoundrels, the
utility of such a region as Oregon will be
demonstrated. Until then we are perfect
ly willing to leave this magnificent coun
try to the Indians, trappers and buffaloes
that roam over Its sandbanks and by the
side of its rushing and unnavigable
rivers. . . .
"Those factions of Oregon that are most
advantageously situated for culture and
profit are unhealthy, and abound In rep
tiles and Insects which render life Insup
portable. There are moccasins, copper
heads, rattlesnakes, scorpions, lizards,
tarantulas, fleas, ticks, mosquitos, galll
nippers and other pests, of which neither
entomology nor zoology nor hepetology
gives any account. Wherever the mud is
sufficiently oleaginous to produce mos
quitos they swarm from It In flocks that
obscure the sun at noonday. After these
rapacious Insects have eaten all the flesh
from the bones the Autumnal agues com
mence their Interesting experiments. Per
sons who reside in the swamps of Illinois,
on the Wabash bottoms In Indiana, or In
the lowlands of Red Rlvec flatter them
selves that their knowledge of the ague Is
consummate; but It Is reserved to those
fortunate Individuals who reside In tho
smiling valley of the Wallamet- to be
carried to the seventh Heaven of delight
on the wings of immortal agues. . . .
"Some of those who are smitten with
the Oregon lunacy are thinking- of railroad
routes to connect the Mississippi and Co
lumbia, sheer over the eternal snows of
the Rocky Mountains and the countless
mountains, not yet named, beyond. All
the mines of Mexico, If disembdweled,
could not furnish a penny-in the pound of
such an expenditure. It IsMl singular fact
that when a man becomes enamored of
the loveliness, of Oregon, what previously
seemed impossibilities become the most
practicable of things; and as long as the
delusion lasts he Is as crazy as a coon
in the last agonies of starvation. Let a
railroad be constructed to the Pacific;
and let the Pacific be bridged to China;
and we shall enjoy the benefits of public
works on a scale of magnificence worthy
have something to say about that phase
of the drama."
"Dey's are all on de blink dese times,"
said Chames". "Dey don't get de right
fellys to write 'em."
"You er you don't care for PInero,
then?" I asked.
"Hully chee!" said Chames. "Say, Mis
ter Man, d'ye know dat feller makes me
sick. Dere was dat play o his called
Irish dey had over here last Winter.
Dere wasn't an Irishman in de whole
bunch, an all dey did was to talk Willle
boy to a fairy fer 17 acts an den smash all
her premiums." .
"Excuse me, Chames," I put In. "Her
what?"
"Her premiums," replied Chames. "De
tings she got from de tea store for buyln
her Uptons at delr shop." he explained.
"Oh I see," said I. "You mean her
bric-a-brac."
"Dafs de woyds." said Chames. "Her
chugs, an her pitchers, an' de candle
sticks, an' all de stuff from de Installment
store. Say, dat was a great act, but It
came too late. De whole-gallery was htt
tln' de pipe before dey butted in wltde
smashup. If dev'd only began wit dat!"
"Still. Chames." I ventured. "PInero Is
considered a great playwright."
"That's what I'm kickln' about." said
Chames. "An he ain't ace high. His
talk's like de jokes in de back end of a
loldy's paper. It's all fer de Wlllleboys
downstairs In de orchestra chairs an' de
boxes. But de steadies up In de roof,
what do we get out of it? Why, honest,
now. Mister Man, ever a boygler couldn't
gain no real Information about de homes
o' de refined from seln one o dose Plner
rer plays. Dere ain't a second-story In de
whole bunch. It's nuttin' but a lot o'
parlors, wlf talk to match. All de fun
I ever got outer a Pinerrer play was
laughln at de Willeboys downstairs fer
laughln at de play. Dafs on de level."
"And how about Clyde Fitch?" I queried.
"Chee!" said Chames. "He's de limit.
He was de feller dat wrote de play where
de villain dies by drlnkin poison an slid
ln' down onto de floor. What does he know
about life? He's got de Wlllleboys down
fine, but de Willleboy ain't de whole push.
Dey haven't any cinch on de way we live.
Say. d'ye know what dat man does? He
says de boxes is all dere Is in modern
sasslety, wit a few in de orchestra. Dere
ain't no unstairs. Teayters Is all one floor.
Well, dafs his great big mistake. He's
on de blink when he says dat de teayters
of New York Is kep' allfe by Mrs. Wally
V,an Jones an' Mister Johnny de Toots an'
de fellers dat live on'y f meet delr own
set. Deysa odders In dls town, an dey
ls onto him. all right. He ain't In It wlf
de real ting. De people dat laughs at
him laughs all right, but when he's down
dey won't stand for him. Dey tlnk more
of de does dey wear dan dey do of de
auttor o' de play. Dey says on de way
out o de teayter. 'What a pretty wrap dat
was o Mrs. Chlnkledoodles.' or 'Dlt ye
see Tommy Rot In de box wit Mrs. Petle
TLira-bom-de-av? Wonder where 'Petle
Is ternlght? an so on. His plays Is all
right fer de folks he's after, but for us"
"He's getting to be high art, Chames,"
said I.
"High art?" ejaculated Chames. "Well,
high art's all right, all right. But. in dis
case it ain't so very high. It don't reach
up to de gallery, an dere's where you
find de folks dafs after de real stuff."
It was at this point that Chames, hav
ing consumed ilvo platesful of Ice cream,
signified his satisfaction, and Intimated
that, as he had to get busy selling the
next day's evening papers at 5 o'clock
In the morning, he thought he ought to go
home. I considerately let him off. I should
very much have liked to ask him his opin
ion of certain plays current, but in view
of his professional obligations, I did not
feel that I ought to do so. But he gave
me his address, which I still have, and if
anybody would care for the candid opinion
of so candid a critic, and the editor of
this newspaper will permit he same to
be published In these columns. I shall be
very glad to communicate with Chames
on the subject. ,
of the rampant civilization of the 19th
century, and worthy of the sublime and
all-conquering genius of a man who can
discover In the deserts of Oregon all the
elements of some future vast empire."
Out of the many thousands of candi
dates declined for the British Army each
year by far the largest number are re
jected on account of being unable to pass
the authorized test for eyesight.
OHIO BELT
To all Men who Write to the Heidel
berg iledical Institute, St. Paul.
lust send your name and address plainly written and
they will send their great "Electro-Chemic Belt"
without one cent of cost to you. itis yours for the
asking. Noteven necessary to send postagestamp.
GOOD AS ANY ELEC7BIU BELT IN THE WORLD.
TheHetdelbere Medical Institute, capitalized
at 3100.000. Is the Largest and Richest Medical
Institute in tho Northwest and Is glvlnff away
thousands of their Great Electro-Chemic Belts
to provo and advertise their wonderful curing
power. The Great "Electro-Chemic" Belt will
restore vou to health and hatmlness. 18.97(3
k&ubBjr men recently restored to vim. vigor and
perfect manhood. It auickly cures Rheumatism.
Lumbago, Lame Back. Nervous Exhaustion, Varico
cele, Failing Vitality, Kidney Troubles, Liver.Stomach
and Sexual Diseases, General Weakness. Lost Nerve
Force and many other ailments. It is worth from
20 to 850 to any one. It is given away absolutely
free by the master specialist to all those who
need theoao great curative agent, electricity.
"SUFFERED EIGHTEEN YEARS, CURED AT LAST."
CASE 17SS. Eighteen years ago I first noticed symp
toms of nerroui trouble that afterwards caused ms
great misery and suffering:. I bad pains In my back, and
spent many restless nights, lhadno control of my fac
cltle'S so that I tras always at a dlsadrantage In what-
ererl undertook. I haro been uMng tho Klectro-Chemlc
treetmentof tho Heidelberg: 21 edical Institute about alx
weeks and I consider m
irseiii
f cured onco more, and to be
trellis worth all a man has. S. T.H.
B. T.ii.
BED The Belt Isnotsent on trial but
" Is VOlirs tn If r fnroirwi- nrtth-
out the payment of one cent. So write today
for the Great Electro-Chemic Belt Fbs- 2Iaa
tlon this paper. AddressDept. -To
BciDILBERG KEBfMl INSTITUTE
Filth and Robert Sts.. - PAUL, MINN,
o 7 'EJiillP
jajjpjs si inum1
plfiff il If tUflfl
SJUiJsliJflllll
Not a dark office in the balldlnjr; abso
lutely fireproof; electric lights and artesian
water; perfect sanitation and thorousb,
ventilation; elevators run day and night.
Rooms.
AINSLIE. DR. GEORGE. Physician and
Surgeon COO-GOT
ANDERSON'. GUSTA.V. Attorney-at-Law..tS12
ASSOCIATED PRESS: E. L. Powell. iIgr..0U
AUSTEX, F. C. ilanager for Oregon and
"Washington Bankers' Life Association of
Des Moines. Ia. 502-GO3
BAAR. DR. GUSTAV. Phya. and Surg. .807-bOS
BANKERS' LIFE ASSOCIATION OF DES
MONES, IA.; F. C. Austen, ilgr 502-503
BATES. PHILIP S., Pub. Pacinc illner 215
BENJAMIN', R. "W.. Dentist 314
BERNARD, G., Cashier Co-Operatlvo Mer
cantile Co 204-205
BINSWANGER. OTTO S.. Physician and
Surgeon 407-403
EOGART, DR. M. D., Dentlat 703
BROCK. WILBUR F.. Circulator, Orego-
nlan .. 501
BRUERE. DR. G. E.. Phys...4U-412U-4U
CAMPBELL, "SVM. M., Medical Referee
Equitable Llfa 700
CANNING. M. J . C02-COJ
CARDWELL, DR. ,T. R., Dentist u03
CAUKIN. G. E:. District Agent Travelers'
Insurance Company 718
CHURCHILL, MRS. B. J 716-717
COFFEY, Dll. R. C, Surgeon 405-lOd
COGHLAN. DR. J. N 713-714
COLLIER, P. F.. Publisher; S. P. McGulre.
Manager . 415
COLUMBIA GRANITE CO 417-413
CONNELL. DR. E. DE WITT. Eye, Ear,
Nose and Throat (113-614
CO-OPERATIVE MERCANTILE CO.; J. F.
Olsen. Gen. Mgr.; G. Bernard. Cashler.204-203
CORNELIUS. C. W., Phjs. and Surgeon. .212
DICKSON. DR. J. F.. Physician 713-714
EDITORUX, ROOMS Eighth Floor
EVENING TELEGRAM.. 325 Alder Street
EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SO
CIETY; L. Samuel. Mgr.; H. S. Smith,
Cashier ...................... ...... 306
FENTON, J. D.. Pbys. and Surgeon.. "oOO-Clo
FENTON. DR. HICKS C. Eyo and Ear 511
FENTON. MATTHEW F.. Dentist 50'J
GALVANI. W. H., Engineer and Draughts
man ...........600
GEART. DR. E. P., Phys. and Surgeon,... 400
GIEST. DR. A. J.. Phys. and Surg 700-Tlu
GILBERT. DR. J. ALLEN, Phys 401-40,1
GOLDMAN. WIT. T.I AM. Manager Manhat
tan Life Ins. Co. of New York 200-210
GRANT. FRANK S., Attorney-at-Law....C17
GRI5WOLD & PHEGLEY. Tailors
. 131 Sixth street
HAMMAM BATHS, Turkish and Russian...
300-301-302
HARDEN. MRS. L. K.. Stenographer 201
HAVILAND, DR. W. K.. Physician and
Surgeon 512-313
HAWKE. DR. C. E., Phys. and Surs..60S-Ua
HOLLISTER. DR. O. C. Physician and
Surgeon, 504-505
HOSMER. DR. CHARLES SAMUEL.
Physician and Surgeon 701-702
IDLEMAN. C M.. Attorney-at-Law....015-CJu
JEFFREYS. DR. ANICE F., Phys. and
Surgeon, Women and Children only... 400
JOHNSON. W. C. 315-316-31T
KADY, MARK T.. Supervisor o Agents
Mutual Reserve Life Ins. Co 005
LANEv E. L.. Dentist 513-514
LAWBAUGH. DR. E. A S04-S03
LAWRENCE PUBLISHING CO 417-418
UTTLEFIED & CORNELIUS . 212
UTTLEFIED. H. R.. Phys and Surg! "212
MACKAY. DR. A. E.. Phjs, and Surg.. 711-712
MANHATTAN LIFE INSURANCE CO.
OF NEW YORK; W. Goldman, llan-
aer 209-210
MARSH. DR. R. J., Phys. and Surg 300-310
McCOY. NEWTON, Attorney-at-Law 715
Mcelroy, dr. j. g.. Phys. & sur.701-702-703
McGinn, henry e., Attomey-at-Law.311-312
McGUIRE. S. P., Manager P. F. Collier,
Publisher ....... ......413
M'KENZIE, DR. L. P.. Phjsician and
Surgeon 206
METT. HENRY 213
MOSSMAN, DR. E. P., Dentist ...... 513-514
MUTUAL RESERVE LIFE INS. CO.;
Mark T. Kady, Supervisor of Agents.. 604-603
NICHOLAS. HORACE B.. Attorney-at-Law.713
NILES. M. M.. Cashier Manhattan Life
Insurance Company of Now York 209
NOTTAGE. DR. G. H.. Dentist 608-603
NOTTINGHAM. T. W.. Mgr. The Warren
Construction Co .....216-217
O'CONNOR. DR. H. P., Dentist 300-310
OLSEN, J. F., General Manager Co-operative
Mercantile Co .... 204-203
OREGON INFIRMARY OF OSTEOPATHY
OREGONIAN BARBER SHOP. MARSCH
&. GEORGE. Props 120 Sixth street
OREGONIAN EDUCATIONAL BUREAU;
J. F. Strauhal. Manager 200
PACIFIC MINER, Philip S. Bates. Pub.. 215
PAGUE. B. S.. Attomey-at-Law 518
PALMER BROS.. Real Estate and Busi
ness Chances ..417-413
PORTLAND EYE AND EAR INFIRMARY
Ground Floor. 128 Sixth street
REED, C. J.. Executive Special Agent
Manhattan Life Ins. Co. of New York... 209
REED. WALTER. Optician 133 Sixth etreet
ROSENDALE. O. M., Metallurgist and
Mining Engineer . 313
ROTH. DR. JOHN B.. Phys. and Surg.313-314
RYAN, J. B.. Attorney-at-Law 513
SAMUEL, L., Manager Equitable Life 306
SCOTT, C. N., with Palmer Bros 417-413
SHERWOOD. J. W.. State Commander K.
O. T. M 517
SMITH. DR. ALAN WELCH. Physician
and Surgeon .... 207-208
SMITH. DR. L. B.. Osteopath 400-410
SMITH. GEORGE S., Cashier Equitable
Life ,j6
STOLTE. DR. CHARLES E.. Dentist.. 704-703
SURGEON OF THE S. P. RY. AND N. P.
TERMINAL CO 700
SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE 201
TUCKER. DR. GEORGE F.. Dentist.. 610-611
UMPQUA LUMBER CO.. W. J. Pender-
gast. Manager ......C01
VB3TER. A.. Special Agent Manhattan
Life 200
WARREN CONSTRUCTION CO.. T. W.
Nottingham. Manager ......216-217
WENDLING. DR. ROBT. F., Dentist.... 703
WILEY. DR. JAMES O. C.. Phys. & Surg.708-J
WILSON. DR. EDWARD N.. Eye. Ear
Nose anil Throat 304-305
WILJON. DR. GEO. F.. Phys. & Surg. .706-707
WILSON. DR. HOLT C. Phjs. & Surg.507-508
WOOD. DR. W. L.. Physician. .411-412-413-414
Offices may be had by applying to tho
superintendent? of the building, room 201,
second floor.
y