THE MOBNING OREGONIAN, MONDAY, .MARCH 5, 1900.
10
AMERICAN POLITICS: FEDERALIST PARTY
(Copyright. 1800, by Seymour Eaton.)
THE ORECONIAN'S HOME STUDY CIRCLE: DIRECTED BY PROP. SEYMOUR EATON
AMERICAN POLITICALPART1ES
lTHE FEDERALIST PARTY.
(Conclufled.)
BT JESSE MACT. LL. D.
Tie First Disputed Election.
The campaign of 1800. with Adams and
Pinckney at the head of the Federal
ticket, against Jefferson and Burr, Repub
licans, -was an exciting one, and the result
turned upon the methods of choosing
electors in the various states. Those
methods being regulated entirely by each
state for Itself differed widely and gave a.
variety of opportunity for political in
trigue. In the electoral college Adams
received CC votes, Jefferson and Burr each
73. By a constitutional provision the tie
between the two names on the Republican
ticket threw the choice of a President
finally into the house of representatices,
which had a Federal majority. There was
no doubt that Jefferson had been Intended
by his party for the Presidency, and was
the people's choice; but the Federalists in
the House deliberated with the purpose
of either permitting no election or of se
ine what is known as the "War of 1812.
Longing for peace himself, he could not
resist the general feeling which demand
ed war. The provocation was very great,
and, except in New England, the country
supported the war policy. New England,
as the wealthiest and the most commer
cial section of the country, and the last
stronghold of Federalism, endured, with
growing bitterness, the injury to her busi
ness prosperity and the oppressive exac
tions necessitated by the war. The dis
satisfaction culminated in 1814 In the call
ing of the Hartford convention, whose
proceedings, though secret, were believed
to look to the secession of .New .tJigiana
he must take his 3200 acres in a shoestring
the width of his ranch, and straight back
into the hills; and long before he had got
his allotted portion he would be over on
the next creek and into some one's alfalfa
field. Or, take the Malheur and Owyhee
valleys around Vale and Ontario. There
is the garden of Malheur county. Over
5100,000 has been expended on canals and
ditches, but it is miles to the nearest
grass. Of what value would the contig
uous clause be to these settlers? Yet they
are Just as dependent on the grass as we
people who live in the midst of It. for
they depend on the surplus stock of the
upper country coming down to eat the
hay they raise, and on the stockman to
buy their fruit, flour and honey. Again,
there is around Harney Lake a solid body
of ranches three miles deep. How would
the settler next the lake come out on the
"prior right" clause? The Intention is ad
mirable, but the topography of the coun
try forbids its successful application.
Also, there is the provision for irrlga'
END OF THE JUDGE'S CASK
EFFECTS OF THE LAST OF SOME
VERY FIXE WHISKY.
from the Union. The complete Journal tlon work. Of what use to us are reser
of the convention and report of its action volrs and canals. If wc are shut off from
was afterward published and was found the range? Ranches in this section are
to contalni nothing treasonable or se- I of value only when used In conjunction
dltlous. (See "History of the Hartford j with the range an insurance policy, as it
Convention," by Theodore Dwlght, its 1 were, on our stock. Take the range from
secretary, 1833.) Its deliberations resulted I us and we will have Irrigated farms to
in the passage of resolutions looking to i give away. This Is not a Jest, but the
the security and protection of the citizens ! solemn, bitter truth. The people of this
of the states, and in recommending cer- section have not petitioned the Federal
nn oimnrnR n thr. Constitution, designed i jrovernmeflt for aid in developing our
to relieve the grlovances complained of.
It also provided for the calling of a sec
ond convention six months later, in case
equa
zeet
&rc'f)
THIS InicoiteLBaiof Twcmty
SkUJUrvgxcluefrora ihe Maflackafefer
Colon to tke-TofiejTor fkall h e-ii valued
Lai to money &ikaubc'accordngtp3
efcteity tke. ireaXtirer am d&e cay ems
fab oritnat to Kim TrtalUPuUick p aym. :
arucUor aiy Stock.at djaytwrtt. trutke3?s
Treaflvry. Bolton, io N. ewE ngtafudU
February tiie tnLrcU 1690 oB y OrcW of
tk&x Ucneral Gouri3a0
iu
v$SsSs
MeWfi&L yf ZJ'?
mhmi I W 2&
Lomiic!
FACSIMILE OF THE FIRST AMERICAN PAPER MONEY.
lectlng tho man likely to do their party
the least mischief. They strove to extort
promises from both candidates, but with
out success, though Burr was disposed to
hold out Inducements. Hamilton's Influ
ence was thrown in favor of Jefferson,
whom he considered likely to be less vio
lent and more temporizing in his policy
than Burr, and Bayard of Maryland !s
credited with having finally determined
the result. The long contest over our
first disputed Presidential election ended,
therefore. In making Thomas Jefferson
our third President, with Aaron Burr as
Vice-President. The Federal party now
surrendered the offices of Government
never again to return to power. Its after
history is that of an opposition party
conditions should not Improve. The- speedy
close of the war and the national exulta
tion over the brilliant victory of General
Jackson at New Orleans discredited the
whole proceeding. It was the last no
table effort of the Federal party to In
fluence public action, and after 1817 the
organization ceased to exist as a national
party, though it survived In a few States
as a State party for five or six years
longer.
Note, "National Nominating Machin
ery" will be the subject of the next p'aper.
country. "We are no famine sufferers. We
are willing and able to improve our coun
try ourselves, and we are doing it In the
best and safest way, slowly and surely.
As a man's stock reaches the danger line,
he sells down to safety, and puts the
money Into ditches, or land on which to
raise more feed, that he may increase his
stock on the range. I see the gentleman
from Texas says that for every watered
section we shall take two dry ones ad
Joining, as though Nature had laid this
country out to order, aa a surveyor lays
out town lots.
But there Is one thing against which I
would protest; that Is, the attempt on tho
part of certain papers to make a party
issue of this matter. Bills have been In
troduced, not only by the Republicans of
"Washington, but by Representatives of
Colorado, "Wyoming and Texas, all of
which are silver states, and any of their
bills could rightfully be headed "A Bill
to Confiscate tho Homes of "Western Set
tlers," though I know the men who intro
duce them do not think so, for they all
seem desirous of protecting the settlers
rights. The sheep Industry was for yeara
a shuttlecock, knocked hither and thither
by the battledores of the contending par
tics, and new. If they make a political
issue out of this matter, the politicians
will hammer the whole stock Industry out
of existence In one grand- finale. Any pa
per which, In the hope of getting a few
votes for Its party, makes a party lssuo
out of our broad and butter, is no truo
friend to the people.
la conclusion, do not let us 'abuse our
opponents. Some of the bills and inter
views are enough to exasperate a saint;
but there is no argument In abuse. It
simply serves to make then angry. They
mean all right, but do not know. Let us
enlighten them. Give the facts, as Mr.
Moody asks. How can we expect East
erners to understand anything about this
"Western country, when a paper llko the
New York "World talks of "Butte, the
capital of Montana"?
Look at the experiment they are carry
ing on at "Walla "Walla. They want to
find a grass that will do well on our
rocky, alklll hills. So they go to tho
heart of tho wheat belt, where the rainfall
for 1S69 was 22.99 Inches, and the soil a
fine as any In the world, and expect to
grow a grass with which we shall be
equally successful, when at Vale the pre
cipitation for the year was 10.72; at River
side. 12.3; Silver Lake, 10.36. and Prlne
vllle, 8.1S an average of 10.80 Inches
much less than half, and the difference
of soil thrown In. If they should go to
Prinevllle or Vale and grow a grass on
the hills which, with 8 or 10 inches of rain
per annum, would stand feeding, they
would settle the rango question; for the
whole country would be taken up under
the homestead1 act. But their present ef
forts, though well and kindly meant, are
of no practical value.
We can win this fight, and, now that
we have our leading papers and Cham
bers of Commerce at our back, we can
win easily; but we have too much at stako
to Jeopardize our case by any little In
discretion of our own. We must keep th!
matter out of politics, keep our temper.
Dodgrers Didn't Know Hott He Got
Into n. Bnrr el Friends Wondered
How He Got Ont of the Lnlcc.
No other house In all Lonelyslde could
boast of such a brand of whisky as Judge
Herringbone kept In his cellar. Only on
special occusions was that particular
brand sampled, and those who were fa
vored with It smacked approving lips and
wagged appreciative heads for days af
terward whenever memory returned upon
it. Few and far between as were these
occasions, the Inspiring beverage dwin
dled with saddening rapidity, and the
time came when the Judge plainly per
ceived that there was accompaniment for
only one more feast In the barrel. So he
bade to a farewell dinner his friends.
Dodgers, of Wall street; Dr. Serven and
young Callman, of good fame as a rising
architect and ill fame as the possessor of
an alleged tenor voice with which he fre
quently afflicted" those who, under more
favorable circumstances, called them
selves his friends. Epicures all, were
these three, according to the New York
Sun, and- of an exuberant avidity In Judg
ment upon good whisky.
It Is, or should be, an axiom that the
bottom of a barrel always holds more
than it is supposed to hold. This was the
case with the Judge'3 whisky barrel.
However, the guests were there to empty
that barrel, and empty It they did, the
effect upon themselves being of the In
verse ratio order. When the last drop
4nk. "3? 19
1 l if
James Mndlson.
RANGE LEASING.
Thomas Jefferson.
growing ever more feeble and hopeless
The old Ideas and the old issues were
passing away, and the death cf Hamilton
in the fatal duel with Aaron Burr removed
the greatest of the Federal leaders who
might have been able, had he survived, to
Infuse .into the conduct of his party some
thing of his own far-fleeing statesmanship.
Jcffcrson'H Administration.
The party of state sovereignty entered
upon the conduct of national affairs strong
in the support of the masses of the popu
lation. The people were just awaking
to a realization of their own power and a
sense of their own responsibility for the
government of the country- Jefferson
stood for this new sentiment, for this ris
ing spirit of democracy: for the passing
away of privilege, of the domination of
the men of position and wealth and dig
nity; he stood for government by the com
mon people. Republicanism of a new
sort had appeared In the world, and was
becoming conscious of itself. Against this
new spirit the old Federalism made but
feeble resistance. Many of the party
members retired from political life In dis
gust Those who continued active in af
fairs conducted themselves with little
party wisdom. They did Indeed resist
with justice and with credit to themselves
the repeal of the judiciary law passed by
the Federals In their very last days of
power, creating 23 new Judgeship?; but
they also opposed the purchase of Louis
iana, and other popular measures.
In 1S01 Jefferson's re-election was a fore
gone conclusion, the Federal candidates
receiving but few electoral votes. Four
years later, under the dissatisfaction due
to the embargo act, and the Injury which
it worked to business, a small additional
number of votes were counted for the
Federal candidates, but the party was
not really strengthened. The Republi
cans, meantime, through the irresistible
force of events, saw that their predilec
tion for strong state governments along
with a weak national government, if car
ried to Its logical conclusion, would doom
the infant nation to disaster and ultimate
extinction. The offensive acts of Great
Britain were rapidly convincing the peo
ple that war was Inevitable, and the abso
lute necessity for a strong central govern
ment able to cope with foreign powers
was clearly apparent.
Madison's Administration.
Madison's two terms covered the period
el storm and stress preceding and lnclud-
Ofojections to the System and Defects
in the Bills.
RIVERSIDE. Or.. Feb. 25. (To the Edi
torsRepresentative Moody In his letter
to Mr. Blackaby, requests that "the
range-leasing question be fully discussed
through the medium of the press." There
are two phases of the case which have
not yet been touched upon, and If you will
permit me to again trespass on ..your
space. I will point them out.
If the ranges of Malheur and Harney
counties are leased, how will the stock
men of the Interior counties, Lake. Crook
and Grant, get their stock to the ship
ping point at Ontario, or Huntington? If
a clause Is Inserted In the bill, leaving all
existing roads open, it would be of no
service to them, for you cannot drive
stock 200 miles through a lane, and by
which ever route they came there would
be a gap of 75 miles in which no hay could
be bought. On the other hand, if all stock
armed with a stock-inspector's traveling
permit were given the right to cross
another lessee's range, how would they
regulate the speed at which the moving
Dana should travel, when one day, being
cold, wet and windy, a band of sheep will
travel 10 or 12 miles; and the next, being
warm and muggy, and the sheep tired
by the previous day's spurt, it is impossi
ble to move them more than three or four.
"Charge," In a cavalry troop. Is as fast
as the slowest horse can travel; and. In
Justice to the bona fide drover, a day's
drive could only be placed at the distance
a band of sheep or cattle could go under
most unfavorable circumstances. This
belns the cose, what Is to prevent a no
madic band of sheep cruising for months
at a time on other people's range?
A word about the list of bills published
in a recent issue of The Oregonlan: "We
will dismiss the Turner bill as unworthy
of consideration, though I see there Is n
Jefferson's Seal.
pull together, and give them the facts
they ask. J. D. FAIRMAN.
a i
British. Mnrinc and Subsidies.
J. W. Root in Tho Atlantic
It cannot bo urged too strongly that the
British mercantile marine owes practically
nothing of Its enormous development to
government assistance, and were this en
tirely withdrawn only a very slight per
centage of the total tonnage would bo af
fected. For all the government pays It
both expects and geta full value. The
conditions necessary to secure Its patron
age are most costly, while there is no
guarantee that it will bo continued beyond
a limited period. The Peninsular & Ori
ental contracts, for Instance, were re
newed last year until 1SC5, but after that
a good deal of uncertainty exists as to
what may occur. With the completion of
the Trans-Siberian Railway, that route is
almost certain to be adopted for the trans
mission of the malls to the far East, and
perhaps eventually to Australia; in the
first Instance, at any rate, the time occu
pied will be about one-third of what it is
now. Thero may somo day bo a trans-
THE BEGINNING OF THE CAPITOL.
(From an old print.)
meeting of cattlemen called to meet n continental route to South Africa; the
San Francisco March 5 to support the transatlantic companies may feel toler
blll, and it is a meeting, too, that will have ably secure that th&'rs will not be dls
much Influence. The others all seem to , turbed, whatever other changes may take
wish to protect the settler by giving him place in the arrangements. These are all
prior claim to range contiguous to his risks which must be taken into account,
ranch. The Intention is good. Let us see ' and which few ship-owners care to run;
how it would work. In the northern end i those who do so often jcain more credit
of Malheur county are a string of creeks,
Indian, Bully. North Bully. Clover. Dr.
Cottonwood and Willow Creek. All these
streams head In one range of hills, and.
flowing south in parallel lines a short dis-
than profit. In the great Atlantic liners.
the new and powerful steamers of the two
South African lines, and in a lesser de
gree the crack boats of the Eastern com
panies, the British public feel a legitimate
tance apart, empty finally into the Mai- i pride, and It is quite true that without
heur River at Vale. On these creeks aro , the prospect of the subsidies sUch vessels
a string of ranches, most of which join would never be constructed. But they
fences. The settler could not take his tare sometimes costly luxuries, and it Is
range up and down the creek, for ho i not UDon them that the nrosDeritv of Brlt-
I . . . -, li-i I . . . w -"
i wouia encroacu upon his nei&uuor; su j Jsh shipping rests.
was drained, they crowned the receptacle
with chaplets, carried It about the dining
room on their shoulders, and finally put
it out on the lawn to cool off, shouting:
"Le rol est mort: Vive le roll" which
the Judge freely translated: "The barrel
Is empty; bring on the bottle."
Accordingly tho bottlo was brought on,
and another bottle, and still others, and
at 1 A. M. the four gentlemen sallied
forth upon the Herringbone porch, cling
ing affectionately together, and basked In
the rays of the moon, which shimmered
In long sparkles of light on the little lake
at the bottom of the hill.
"Dlshgra'ful moon!" said Dodgers, se
vorely. "Full, very full! Luna, ol' hlc
lady; ought to be 'shamed yourself."
"Tho Influence of the lunar radiance,"
said tho doctor, who was prone to didactic
speeches upon such occasions, "was well
understood? by the ancients in Its peculiar
effect upon mankind "
"Forget the blame ancients hlc Doc,"
interrupted Callman. "I pine to pour -out
my soul In song," and he uplifted an ex
cruciating tenor wall. "Fair mo-oo-on, to
thee I sing."
"Oh, waouw! wur-raow-wow-wow!"
mocked a bewhlskered cat upon an adja
cent fence.
"Infl'ence of lunar rad-yance hlo 'pen
ancient pussy," observed Dodgers. "The
mo hoping cat doth to the hlc moon
complain. Rather hear her complain than
you hlc Callman. Nem-mlnd. Gimme
rock."
"And rye?" inquired the Judge feel
ingly, clinging firmly to his own door
post as one who knows that if he for
sakes it he'll never get back unaided.
"Rye afterward," said Dodgers. "Care
killed a cat. I'm Care. Gimme rock."
He shot down the steps, and, after cir
cling around a selected spot several times,
sank gently upon the ground and prepared
to sleep. The other two guests went after
him.
" 'Night, boys," said the Judge, care
fully locating tho doorknob and pouncing
on It before It had time to elude him.
"Time to turn in. Tell Dodgers make
himself perfly at homo anywhere on the
lawn. 'F m'wlfe was at home, d send
him out a blanket. 'Night, boys, pleasant
dreams."
Balancing himself for a moment, he
plunged headforemost within the door
which he didn't take the trouble to close
after him. From the Interior came the
sound of thumps and bumps; then what
seemed to be solemn denunciations in the
Judgo's voice of maliciously obstructive
furniture died away In the distance.
"Is this your vaunted hospitality?"
cried tho. Doctor, pointing a denunciatory
hand toward tho vanished Judges "to
leave your helpless friends to the dark
spirit of the shrouded Nox?"
"Wurraow-w-w! Whur-r-r-raow! Wah-whoop-a-a-a-aow!"
shrieked the dark
spirit of shrouded Nox rampant on the
fence.
Dodgers turned over, got on all fours
and began to grub around the premises
like a hen after a worm, muttering
schemes of vengeance. His two friends
endeavored to dissuade him by tho coat
tails, but he doggedly crawled on. Pres
ently he found a rock, clutched it. got
painfully to his feet, and flung the missile,
presumably at the cat. There was a
thudding Impact, and the tall hat of Call
man sprang from his head1 and fell upon
the grass some 10 feet away, a misshapen
mass. The rock continued on its course
and brought up against the porch about 50
feet distant from the target, which gave a
wild whoop of disdain and perTormed in
sulting signals In the clear llr;ht of the
moon. With tho effort of tho throw.
Dodgers had plunged fiercely backward
and alighted upon the base of his brain.
Ho lay moaning softly. Indifferent alike
to tho song of the cat and the bitter
curses of the hatless Callman. The Doc
tor bent anxiously over hla prostrate
form.
"Are you Injured, Dodgers?" he asked.
"I am. killed," replied Dodgers, In
hushed tones. "I am the victim, of
hlc thugs. My medulla oblongata." he
added, with a sob, "Is sticking through
the hie crown of my hat. The as hie
assao hlc the assas hlc " and the oJ
servatlon merged gently Into a snore as
Dodgers sank Into oblivion.
"Hlc jacet Dodgers." said the Doctor,
"and ho's liable to continue to Jacet hlc
until rosy-fingered Aurora, with Irer "
"Oh. forget rosy-fin gerctl hlc rora.
Doc!" cried Callman, angrily waving his
mutilated hat- "I want to kl kin that
rosy-nosed yap until he promises to buy
me a new top."
"Misguided wretch." said the Doctor.
"Would you take advantage of "his help
lessness? The brotherhood of Bacchus"
"Oh, forget Bacchus!" snotted the
other.
"I shall endeavor to tomojTow," re
turned Serven. In sad, prophetic tones,
"with the aid of wet towej5. In the
meantime, permit me to inform you that
our friend is suffering from a lapse of
personality consequent upon the reaction
following superindulgcnce in alcoholic
stimulus."
"Meaning that hes got a hlc of a
jag."
"Your diagnosis, while substantially
correct, is couched in brms that would
disgrace a plllmaker," .said the Doctor,
with great dignity.
Callman leaned over to examine the
destroyer of his hat. He might better
dinner causes the blood to rush to the
head. Callman sank gently to his knees
and apparently tried to nibble the grass,
though a goat would havo disdained the
shriveled matting that coated the Judge's
front yard. With the aid of several well
placed kicks from the kindly Doctor, he
contrived to get to his feet again. He
clung to his friend's shoulders, overcome
With grief at the condition of Dodger.
"How could he hlc do It?" he wept.
"My old pal hlc Dodgers. Drunk hlc
drunk, lntox hie and dis hlc orderly in
the front yard of hlc Justice."
"If you fall down again, Callman,"
the doctor warned him, "you will sleep
this night with Dodgers in a wayside
ditch. The best I could do for both of
you would be to roll you there and cover
you with leaves."
"Birds In the hlc woods, " suggested
Callman. "No; babes In the woods. Nem
mlnd. prefer m'own hlc nest, thanks."
"The question is. how are we going to
get Dodgers home."
"You've heard the question." said Call
man, gravely. "Alllnfavorsay hlc"
"Hlc," said Dodgers between a snort
and a snore.
"Settles it." said Callman. "Carried un
hlc unan hlc nemmlnd; 's carried,
anyway."
His roving eye fell upon the empty
whisky barrel. Its head was loose. Call
man removed it after a struggle.
"We'll chuck him In hlc here," said
he.
"Excellent." approved Serven. "Restore
to the barrel its own again. Render
unto Caesar that which"
"Oh, forget Caesar," cried the architect
in a tenor shriek. "Get him by th hlc
heels and we'll Jam him In."
Some Indetermlned expressions of op
position by Dodgers were passed over
as unworthy of notice. He was firmly
thrust In, and Callman kicked the cover
into place.
"Inspiration of genius," chuckled the
Doctor. "Regular Regulus without the
spikes."
"Oh, will you forget those hlc dead
ones?" besought Callman. "Now we'll
convey hlc him down the hill to his
hlc I mean happy home."
ilrrlly on he'll roll, he'll roll.
Roily-)-, roll; roily-roll;
Merrily on he'll roll, he'll
"Start her up," shouted the Doctor, and
began to push.
A barrel Is an 111 thing for two gentle
men to navigate when the barrel Is empty
and the gentlemen aren't. It bucked and
backed and did everything except rear,
but they finally got It started, and it did
the rest Itself. No sooner was It started
under way than they fell upon each
other's neck In the exuberance of their
joy and chortled until the cat that had
been an Interested spectator fled in alarm.
Meantime the barrel, aided perhaps by
some Internal motion, gathered headway,
swerved into the roadway and was pres
ently swiftly on the path to the lake. The
Doctor was the first to scent danger.
"Look at that!" he yelled. "Facllls de
census Averno."
"Forget Averno!" shouted Callman.
"Facllls decensus hell-o. Talk about ml
hlc mixed drinks. Maybe his won't
be mixed before hlc he gets to the bottom!"
"Great Jupiter, the lake!" cried Serven,
suddenly bethinking himself.
"The fence'll stop him. Wassa hlc
fence for if it won't?"
"The fence Is broken. He'll go through
It like a 10-inch shell."
For a moment the two looked at each
other; then, locking arms, they plunged
forward. One minute later they were
sprawling and splashing in the wayside
gutter, while the barrel went bounding
merrily down the road, emitting muffled
walls from its bunghole. If any one had
chanced to encounter it Lonelyslde would
now have a ghost tale that would make
Its everlasting reputation. A haunted
barrel, speeding along moonlit highways
howling dismally would be something
new In the haunt market
Now an ordinary barrel If set rolling
will speedily turn to one side or the other
and bring up short. But a barrel full of
drunken man is another proposition.
Straight as files the bee that cask sped
down tho road, went through the fence,
and, with a mighty crash. lit upon a
stump. With the Impact the head was
broken in, and Dodgers, dizzy, scared
and exceedingly sick, but much sobered,
nevertheless, crawled out and clung to
a tree, while the stars whirled around him
In mad riot. His vehicle resumed its
progress, plunged over the embankment
and a moment later, with a great splash,
floated peacefully on the rippling water.
As soon as the universe ceased to per
form like a merry-go-round Dodgers trot
ted home and told his wife that he had
been in a trolley accident. In the midst
of her comments on this proposition,
given in a spirit of skepticism calculated
to he painful to a sensitive nature, he
fell asleep. His last waking thought
was a dim but whole-souled wonder as to
how he ever got into that barrel.
Ten minutes or so after Dodgers had
terminated his wild ride. Callman and the
doctor painfully limped down the bank.
They beheld the barrel bobbing on the rip
ples. The head was turned toward them;
they could see that the Interior was
empty.
"Gone!" said the doctor, In hollow
tones. "Drowned!"
"Maybe he swam ashore," gulped Call
man. "Couldn't climb the embankment If he
did. Requlescat in "
"Forget It." cried Callman. "I'll swat
you If you do It again. If it wasn't hie
for your dam hlc Regulus game poor
Dodgers d be hlc waiting on his own
stoop now for somebody to come In the
hlc morning and open him up."
"It Is our melancholy duty to inform
the widow," said Serven.
"Be hlc dam'f I will, then, replied
Callman.
From an Inside pocket the Doctor pro
duced a flask. No physician should bo
without one. By the brink of the lake
the two shivering men emptied that
flask and sucked the cork. Then they set
out to tell Mrs. Dodgers, and as they
went wept for the untimely end of their
companion. For some reason the going
was slow and uncertain. They slipped a
great deal and the lay of the gutters was
Intricate. Presently the Doctor pulled up.
"This Is the house, I think." ho said.
Callman lifted up a melancholy voice
and Intoned:
you'd hlc hcVer know there was a. frac
ture." Once more he struck Into the mournful
measures of the funeral march whlie
Serven played an accompanlmert on the
door bell. In a moment a front window
opened and a female head appeared there
in. Callman made a low bow, said "Hlc,"
staggered forward and brought up against
the side of the house. The head protruded
a little from the window.
"We've called to see about your hus
band," he began a little lamely.
"You can't see him," said the owner of
the head.
"No, ma'am," replied the diplomatic
Callman. "Neither can you. Tha's the
entenn nic wedge," he added. In an
osldo to the doctor. "Breakin' it gently
as a hlc dove's sigh."
"I don't know what you mean." said
the woman in the window. "He's In bed
and asleep."
"What!" shouted both the men together.
Then tho Doctor added:
"Madam, are you sure It Is your hus
band?" "Do you mean to Insult me, sir?" said
she.
"Doc," said Callman, "we're hlc InsUlt
in the wrong lady again."
"Errare est humanUm, murmured tho
doctor.
"Forget that worn-out dago lingo!"
cried the exasperated Callman. "Don't
mind him hlc madam. He don't mean
any hlc harm. 'Scuse that break aboul
your hlc husband. Mistake on the part
of m' frlen. Right husband, wrong house.
Tha's all."
"Madam, would you condescend to en
lighten our abyssmal ignorance and tell us
whose house this Is?" requested the doc
tor.
"This is Mr. Dodgers' house, and Mr.
Dodgers is asleep." said the woman, em
phatically. "What's more, he Isn't likely
to wake up for a good while."
The two men stood gaping up at the
window. Then- they turned to each other,
groping mentally for" light.
"Doc." said Callman, "was there any
barrel?"
"I I I don't know," said the Doctor,
feebly. "I seem to remember one. It
rolled down a hill, didn't it?"
"And we chased it, didn't ve?"
"In vino ver"
"Oh. damn vino! Did Dodgers dine at
the Judge's with us? Tha's what I hlc
wanta know."
"Mr. Dodgers." said Mra. Dodgers, "was
In a very serious trolley accident tonight.
I Infer from your manner of speech that
you gentlemen were also among the in
jured."
There was a tinge of irony in her voice.
Sho regarded them for a moment and
closed the window. Then they went sad
ly homeward, accumulating headaches by
fruitless bralnwork as they went.
By a curious coincidence Dodgers. Call
man and Serven met on the station plat
form at 11 o'clock of the following morn
ing. It was their usual habit to take the
9 o'clock train. They approached each
other cautiously. Callman was tho first
to break the Ice.
"Dodgers," he said, "how did you get
out of the lake?"
"Lake, my eye!" responded Dodgers.
"How did I get Into the barrel?"
"And what's this about the trolley?"
asked Serven.
Then they had a heart-to-heart talk, fol
lowed by a visit to the near-by cafe for a
farewell drink, because they all needed it.
As they emerged they met Judge Herrlng
bono, looking a little the worse for wear.
The Judge apologized all around for any
thing he might have done or left undone
on the previous evening, saying that he
believed he'd had a little too much. Then
he said:
"Mighty funny thing. That barrel that
we finished completely disappeared last
night."
"That Is queer," said Dodgers soberly.
"We must have drank everything In the
house, but I don't believe we went so far
as to cat the barrel."
"No," said the Judge, thoughtfully, "but
from the fact that I slept In the arms of
the hatrack, I didn't know but what one
of you fellows might have carried the bar
rel away as a souvenir. Come In and
have a bracer."
"Swore off." said the three In one voice.
"Curious thing," said the Judge. "I was
just thinking of doing that same thing
myself."
ERS OF THE BOERS
their coxduct unprecedented
Among civilized nations
Refused to hecUKrilze United Sint6a
Officers ns Representatives oX
British Interests
FIGHTING IN FURS.
Hott English Soldiers "Were Clad in
the Crimean Vnr.
London Dally Mall.
During the terrible struggle in Russia
In 1S51-6 our troops were clad In costly
furs to preserve them from the rigors
of a Russian winter. The coat3 of the
officers were made of a fine brown fur,
cut In the well-known military shape of
the time. The coats and- cloaks for the
men were not of so fine a quality, but
were, nevertheless, of a, good substantial
make, and were, furthermore, supplied
with waterproof shoulder covering.
Both officers and- men alike wore very
strong overalls of cowhide, and It Is on
record that one city firm alone secured
a contract to supply 50,000 suits of this
material for the men. and 10.000 more for
officers. A noted furrier made no fewer
than 50,000 pairs of large fur gloves to
complete a single order.
Those regiments that did not wear bear
skins, as did the GUard3. were supplied
with a sealskin head dress, an exact
opy of that worn by Arctic explorers.
This cap was pronounced to be both warm
and easy to wear, and was a boon to
many poor fellows who otherwise must
have suffered terribly from frost bite.
Whatever may have been the mistakes
of that war there was no stinginess on
the part of the government In providing
the soldiers with warm clothing, as is
evidenced by the fact that one consign
ment of store Included 2S0.0C0 pairs of
gloves, 200,000 pairs of lambs' wool stock
ings, some 50,000 flannel gowns for the
hospitals, and EO.OOO greatcoats for wear
over the others.
a o
Waw, waw, wee-waw, wavr, waw, waw-waw;
Tump-tump-tump-tump,
Waw, waw, wet-waw.
"Shutrup," hissed the Doctor. "What
are you doing?"
"Breakin news gont hie gently," said
Callman. "Tha's Sho Sho Shope's
Fun'ral Marsh. Do cho Know Shepo's
hlc Fun'ral Marsh?
"Wavy, waw. wee-waw, waw, waw-waw;
Tump-tump.
"What on alrth are you drunken
wretches doing out there?" It was a very
sharp voice proceeding from a half-open
window above them.
"You tell her," said the two men, one
to the other, and each replied with equal
unanimity, "No, you do It."
It was the Doctor who finally said:
"Madam, it is my painful duty"
"Hlc; that's right," interjected Callman.
weeping. "Sad 'caslon."
"The fact is, madam, your late lament
ed husband"
"Git. or I'll have the police after you.
Husband. Indeed. I've got along these 40
years without one and I can get atong the
rest of my life while men are such drunk
en Idiots as you two. If I had a pan of
water here you wouldn't stand- gaping
thero like ninnies. Git!"
"Hope Mrs. Dodgers'll take hls It as
easy, not havln' any hlc husband," ob
served Callman, thoughtfully, as they re
treated. "Ju know that lady?"
"Do I know her?" growled the doctor.
"Wait till next time she calls me in for
imaginary appendicitis. I'll cut her liver
out. Worst old maid In town."
On they wandered until they reached an
other house which they considered to be
that of the deceased. To makesure. the
doctor lighted a match and verified the
number on the door.
"Your turn this time." said he to his
companion. "You've got to break the
news to her."
"I'll break hlc news," said the archl
j not have done that. Leaning over after! tcct. "I'll break news so Jitc gently thatmqn,-sense lawsV
Lesions of the Boer ".Vnr.
Nature has over and over again referred
to the lack of Interest In the progress ot
science, and tho disinclination to take ad
vantage of available appllcat'ons, shown
by official authorities concerned with the
national affairs of England. It therefore
quotes with approval extracts from Lord
Rosebery's recent speech at Chatham, and
irtates that if tho war in South Africa
leads to an acknowledgment of the value
of scientific opinion the result will be ono
upon which the nation may be sincerely
congratulated. Lord Rosebery stated that
"Germany Is Infinitely more scientific than
we are. We are not methodical, we are
not scientific, we are not abreast of the
most advanced nations of the day. The
tortoise of Investigation, method and prep
aration will always catch up and over
take the hare, which leaves everything
to the Inspiration and effort of the mo
ment." '
The Relifflon.n Ccmus-Tnker.
One of the religious census-takers In
Philadelphia last week wno asKea a uiS
beetle-browed fellow what were his re
ligious preferences was thus answered:
"Put me down as a pugilist. See? Dat's
my religion. I loves de fightin' god. See?
And me kids is beln' brought up in the
same church, ain't dey, Liz?" His wife
nodded assent. No persuasion could lead
the man to give any other answer to the
question as to his church preference.
One of the visitors to a Seventh Ward
house vraa answered in the following
manner by a facetious man: "McKInley
Is the one I worship, and the Republican
party is my religion." Another man ap
proached declared that his prayers were
for Bryan and free silver, but he d'd not
know what church that meant. "Oh. put
me down as an Ingersolllan." was still
another answer. A communication has
been received by Superintendent -Cork,
who supervises the work of the census
takers, In which the writer suggested:
"You had better to to get us better wat
er, better schoolhouaes, and more com
Fot d country which has been attempt
lng to escape from the light leading
strings under which it has been held, and
to assume a place among the independent
nations of the earth the action of t!ha
Transvaal Republic In refusing to recog
nfze our consular and diplomatic repre
sentatives as temporary conservators oi
tho Interests of British citizens is, to say
the least, remarkable. We be.Ieve it la
unprecedented, says tho New York Jour
nal of Commerce. For ever since the time
that civilized nations ceased to kill pris
oners of war, or to make slaves of them,
and to treat noncombatant citizens of tha
enemy country with the same severity as
soldiers in arms. It has been usual for
any nation at war to recognize the diplo
matic representative of any neutral as a
representative also both of prisoners cap
tured in the course of the war and of
those citizens of the enemy country dwell
lng within Its boundaries who took nd
part in the war and were deprived for the
time betn of the services of their natural
representative.
Thus, during the Franco-Prualan War
our Minister In Paris cared for the ln
terests of Germans domiciled therein, and
no objection was made on the part of tha
French. Again, to cite & much more re
cent Instance, during our war with Spain
the enemy everywhere recognised British
diplomatic officers ns representatives of
the intererts of our citizens. The British
Consul at Santiago, for example, was al
lowed without question to visit Hobson
and the captured Merrimac drew, and due
attention was paid to his reconlmenda
tiOns for the amelioration of their cortdi
tlon. Ve, In like manner, recognized as
representatives of Spanish Interests the
diplomatic and consular officers of
France; and when the time came for peace
overtures they were made. In the first In
stance, through the French Ambassador
In Washington.
Notwithstanding the long -line of prece1
dents among all civilized nntlorts. th&
Transvaal Republic during the present
war has persistently refused to recognlad
duly accredited officers of the United
States ns representatives of British In
terests. Such visits to prisoners of war
as any reputable man would have been al
lowed to make have been permitted to
our Consul. But when ne nas aiKea ror
lists of tho prisoners, or for any Informa
tion which ordinarily only a representa
tive of their government would be entitled
to demand, his requests have Invariably
been denied.
The logic of the Transvaal position in
this matter Is rather difficult to follow.
The lists denied to our Consul the Trans
vaal Government announces Its willing
ness to furnish to the British Minister of
War upon his request. As nearly ns It
can be guessed by the uninitiated, the
stand of the Transvaal Goernment ap
pears to have been taken with a view to
forcing a recognition of lt3 existence upon
the part of Great Britain. But It is not
altogether clear why any further recogni
tion should be desired than Is already fur
nished by various treaties and the mas3
of diplomatic correspondence now In exist
ence: neither Is It clear that any fuller
recognition of the Transvaal Republic
would be Implied by a request direct from
a British ofilcial than by one coming
through the medium of the consular rep
resentative of a neutral, who had been
asked by the British Government to pre
fer it.
What our own Government will do in
the premises Is not certain. Wo have al
ways Instructed our diplomatic and con
sular officers that it was their duty, with
out special orders In any particular cas
to look as far as possible after the Im
periled Interests of any citizens of a
friendly state In a country In which for
any reason their own government was
without representation. They are in
structed, among other things, that "In
cases of revolution the duties of a Min
ister are not confined to the protection
of his own countrymen, but extend to the
citizens and subjects of all friendly na
tions left by the political events without
a representative." In 1S39 the Mexican
Government revoked the exequatur of the
American Consul at Mexico, and he sought
the Interposition of the British Minister
for protection from the de facto author
ities for the persons and property of
Americans. This protection the Minister
did not feci at liberty to promise wltl-out
Instructions from the home government.
Thereupon Mr. Cass Instructed Mr. Dallas
to bring to the notice of thi British Gov
ernment the course of Its Minister, say
ing: "In countries In a state of revolution
and during periods of public excitement
It Is the practice of modern times for tha
foreign representatives residing there to
Interpose by the exertion of their Influence
for the protection of the citizens of friend
ly powers exposed to Injury and danger,
and left without any Minister of their own
country to watch over them. The Presi
dent would not hesitate to visit with
marks of his displeasure any American
Minister who should have It In his power
to afford protection to the persons or
property of citizens of a friendly na'lon
placed In peril by revolutionary commo
tions, and having no national representa
tive to appeal to. should he fall to exert
his Influence in their behalf."
Notwithstanding our own position In
similar cases that have arisen heretofore,
and the universal practice of civilized na
tions In the like circumstances, this doci
not appear to be a situation in which we
would be Justified, in the first instance,
in doing more than enter a vigorous pro
test against the course of the Boer?. Their
action appears to afford rather an Instance
of International bad manners and Ignor
anco of the usages of civilized nations
than anything of a more serious nature.
Upon their answer to our protests It will
probably be po"lbIe to found some further
and possibly some more vigorous action.
Knew AVlint He Wns TuIUlnff About.
Kansas City Journal.
Years ago United States District Judge
Williams was a District Judge in Arkan
sas. At a certain term of court a murder
trial came before him. and the most Im
portant witness for the prosecution was a
colored boy 10 years old. The lawyers
for the defense set out to show that the
boy was too young to understand tho
nature of an oath, and therefore was not
competent as a witness.
"Boy." said one of them severely, "do
you know what would happen If you
swore to a lie?"
"Yes, sah. Mammy would lick me."
"Would anything else happen?"
" 'Deed dey would, case de devil would
git me."
At this point Judge Williams leaned over
his desk and said with pretended stern
ness: "Don't you know, boy. that I woulJ
get you, too?"
"Yes, sah; dot's what I jus' said."
B O
English Soldicrn' Will.
Newcastle (England) Chronicle.
Dur'ng the Soudan campaign of 1SS1 tho
body of one soldier was found on the bat
tlefield of El Teb. who, before death, had
scrawled with the end of a lead bullet In
the inside of hl3 helmet the words. "All
to my wife." When an English army In
vaded Afghanistan one soldier was caught
while doing scout duty and shot down
when none of his comrades was In sight.
Weeks afterward h!s body was found ly
ing before a tall rock on which he had
written in letters of blood, "I want all to
go to mother." In both cases the War
Department held the wills to be valid ard
saw that the right distribution of tho
property was made.
a
Better live well than live long." You
mnv orncrlcnro hoth If VOU take HOOdV
i Sa.rsapariUa,