THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, AUGUST 20, 2015
FEATURES
5A
Dad undermines mom’s discipline Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
Dear Annie: I have been mar-
ried for more than 25 years to
a highly respected, profession-
al man. He has always worked
hard, rarely taking time off. My
efforts to get him to vacation
have not been successful. Al-
though he no longer enjoys his
work, he continues these habits
to support the family.
Our children are 19 and 22
and still live at home. The old-
est graduated college but is ex-
tremely immature. In the past
year, he has been in jail twice
for intoxication and pot pos-
session. He also lost a job due
to an alcohol-related incident.
He found another position, but
he rarely shows up on time. He
doesn’t help around the house,
is very messy and refuses all re-
quests to contribute. He makes
a student loan payment each
month, but the rest of his small
income goes toward fast food,
tobacco and alcohol.
Here’s the problem: I see red
flags everywhere with our son
but my husband refuses to deal
with these matters. Instead, he
keeps bailing him out. I feel
strongly that our son needs a
plan to become independent
and accountable for his actions.
Annie’s
Mailbox
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Kathy Mitchell
and
Marcy Sugar
My husband claims he doesn’t
have time to talk to him. My
children have no respect for
my authority because any con-
sequences I impose are always
undone by my husband, who
says he’s tired of me nagging
him about it.
My efforts to get my husband
on board have exhausted me and
made me resentful. I feel cheat-
ed of a better relationship with
all of them. Allowing these pat-
terns to continue cannot be good
for anyone. My husband refuses
counseling. I am out of patience.
Please advise. — Midwest Mom
Dear Mom: You recognize
that your husband is an obstruc-
tion to helping your children
develop into mature, responsi-
ble adults. He isn’t willing to
do the hard work necessary to
change this dynamic for their
sake. It’s selfish, lazy parenting.
You cannot change him, but you
can change how you respond,
not only to the children, but
also to your husband’s behav-
ior. Get counseling for yourself.
Ask your doctor for a referral
to someone who specializes in
family issues, and if possible,
bring your kids with you. Rest
assured, they don’t want to be
living like this 10 years from
now.
Dear Annie: I want to warn
“Need Your Help,” the 66-year-
old gal who has been with “Joe”
since his wife died nine years
ago. Joe is 75 and verbally abu-
sive. He sounds just like my hus-
band. Tell her to run, not walk,
out of that relationship now.
She says Joe is unwilling to
change. I can assure her he will
only get worse as he gets older.
She is still young enough to do
just fine without him. It might
be hard at first for her to be on
her own; but believe me, it will
get better. Find a women’s group
or join a church that is friendly
and welcoming. There is help
and support out there. Joe and
his house are not worth ruining
your life. — A Caring Friend
Who Has Been There
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
STONE SOUP
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Beyond good
and evil, there is love. The decisions made
from love can seem complicated — not as cut
and dried as the moral code written in books.
The heart deciphers its own moral code.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You will fol-
low your intellect to whatever conclusion it
leads you instead of accepting the answer
you are being fed by another. This is the
way of great thinkers and truth seekers.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You know
what you like, even before the logical ar-
guments have been made. You’re working
from the gut today and will get more in-
formation in the blink of an eye than you
would in a lengthy dissertation.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). No rela-
tionship is entirely wine and roses, but you’ll
experience more than your fair share of mov-
ie-worthy moments in the coming weeks —
so many that you may even dare to plan some
work and/or travel with a loved one now.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Shakespeare
penned, “We have some salt of our youth
in us.” It’s that salt that has you reacting
to someone as though you were much
younger than you are. Or maybe you’re
just meeting that person at his or her level.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). There have
been times when it’s been difficult to meld
the new with the known people in your
life, but right now new friends will fit nicely
into the puzzle of your personal life and
will connect you to exciting options for love
and work. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The
gatekeepers are just doing their job. If they
could let everyone in, what would be the
point of having a gate? Anyway, you’re in
the perfect place and will get inside at the
ideal time when you are completely ready.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Keep go-
ing on your project, even if you can only
spend 10 minutes on it here and there.
Ten minutes here and there will add up to
significant progress.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The
general cries, “Forward!” and that’s the
direction the army marches. If it’s not hap-
pening that way when you cry “forward,”
maybe you’re not the general of this army.
Find your army.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You
could totally win the argument with that
aggressive person you know, and yet
winning would bring no satisfaction or
purpose. Therefore, avoid. Your energy is
best spent elsewhere.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Whatev-
er you’re in the market for, true shopping
wisdom comes after you’ve left the sales
floor for a while. It’s hard to listen to your
inside voice when someone else’s outside
voice is booming in your ear.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Of course
you can’t stop yourself from thinking a thought
by focusing on not thinking it. Distraction, new
focus, a different environment — all of it will
work to stop your worries today.
FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 21). You’ll in-
vent and reinvent this year. One of your past
creations will be used in a new way, and
you’ll make more money this time around.
October business ventures introduce greater
opportunities for romance and excitement. In
November, you’ll realize what a good job you
did in choosing your inner circle. Pisces and
Scorpio people adore you. Your lucky num-
bers are: 30, 44, 24, 32 and 19.